Author Topic: The post funny stuff thread v.Aleph-naught (Read 182575 times)

Zydar · « **Reply #1330 on:** January 14, 2022, 05:50:04 AM »

Friday dump:

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1331 on:** January 14, 2022, 06:38:52 AM »

Nice batch there.

Orbert · « **Reply #1332 on:** January 14, 2022, 08:43:12 AM »

pg1067 · « **Reply #1333 on:** January 14, 2022, 10:00:20 AM »

Quote from: Cool Chris on January 13, 2022, 09:35:16 PM

Quote from: pg1067 on January 12, 2022, 11:29:17 AM
The most memorable was about 10-15 minutes of colossal assholes being dicks to other colossal assholes.

Isn't this the basis for all reality tv shows?

I'm sure you're right, but I honestly wouldn't know. The only "reality TV" I watch is The Amazing Race, which, to me, is a competition, and I don't like when "reality TV" elements creep into the mix. My wife and I watched the Boston edition of The Real World back in the '90s. And I guess if you want to count cooking competition shows (e.g., Chopped), I watch those too on occasion. You'd have to pay me to get me to watch stuff like Big Brother or the Kardashian show.

Quote from: Zydar on January 14, 2022, 05:50:04 AM

Friday dump:

I'm dying here!

hefdaddy42 · « **Reply #1334 on:** January 14, 2022, 10:21:45 AM »

lonestar · « **Reply #1335 on:** January 14, 2022, 10:40:59 AM »

That last one...so fart games are very commonplace in professional kitchens..I worked in one place where the storeroom/lockerroom was in a basement, with a skinny stairwell heading down to it. Me and a few cooks were getting ready for the shift, and I felt the familiar rumblings...I had a few already that day, and they had that brutal bacon bleu cheese burger essence to them, just fucking lethal. So I headed up the staircase and gassed the whole fucking thing, then hid around the corner for the payoff. About 30 seconds later my fellow chefs headed up, and hit my inner torments...the screams of anguish were delicious.

hefdaddy42 · « **Reply #1336 on:** January 14, 2022, 10:43:34 AM »

Quote from: lonestar on January 14, 2022, 10:40:59 AM

That last one...so fart games are very commonplace in professional kitchens..I worked in one place where the storeroom/lockerroom was in a basement, with a skinny stairwell heading down to it. Me and a few cooks were getting ready for the shift, and I felt the familiar rumblings...I had a few already that day, and they had that brutal bacon bleu cheese burger essence to them, just fucking lethal. So I headed up the staircase and gassed the whole fucking thing, then hid around the corner for the payoff. About 30 seconds later my fellow chefs headed up, and hit my inner torments...the screams of anguish were delicious.

lonestar · « **Reply #1337 on:** January 14, 2022, 10:50:35 AM »

Professional kitchens are true bastions of maturity.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1338 on:** January 14, 2022, 11:20:26 AM »

Just thinking about all the crops I've been part of a dusting with brings a giggle to my face - both as the duster, and the dustee.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #1339 on:** January 14, 2022, 11:26:57 AM »

Imagine the depths of hell that come out of me.

Orbert · « **Reply #1340 on:** January 14, 2022, 01:29:49 PM »

I worked in a kitchen once with a guy who let 'em rip all the time. The first time, I reacted negatively, but he said "It's okay, my farts don't smell." WTF? He was completely serious. There was no smell. We worked together a couple of years, hung out together after work and everything, and during that entire time, he might let one loose once in a while, but there was never any odor. Weird as hell.

Chino · « **Reply #1341 on:** January 20, 2022, 07:46:26 AM »

lonestar · « **Reply #1342 on:** January 20, 2022, 10:47:20 AM »

Quote from: Chino on January 20, 2022, 07:46:26 AM

Thank you for this...I got an emo coworker who's pushing 30 and feeling her age, and the last day or two have been fucking glorious for dragging her about it.

Evermind · « **Reply #1343 on:** January 20, 2022, 01:15:17 PM »

Quote from: lonestar on January 20, 2022, 10:47:20 AM

Thank you for this...I got an emo coworker who's pushing 30 and feeling her age, and the last day or two have been fucking glorious for dragging her about it.

I'm not anywhere near the emo culture, but I'm nearing 30 and I'm feeling my age.

Slipped on the way home two days ago and fell, and now my back hurts, my right elbow hurts and the back of my head also hurts as I bumped it on the ice. I would've shrugged off that fall 10 years ago.

I get it, it gets worse as years go by. However you don't get to gatekeep this shit. It also gets worse at 30 compared to 20.

pg1067 · « **Reply #1344 on:** January 20, 2022, 04:11:19 PM »

Quote from: Evermind on January 20, 2022, 01:15:17 PM

Quote from: lonestar on January 20, 2022, 10:47:20 AM
Thank you for this...I got an emo coworker who's pushing 30 and feeling her age, and the last day or two have been fucking glorious for dragging her about it.

I'm not anywhere near the emo culture, but I'm nearing 30 and I'm feeling my age. Slipped on the way home two days ago and fell, and now my back hurts, my right elbow hurts and the back of my head also hurts as I bumped it on the ice. I would've shrugged off that fall 10 years ago.

I get it, it gets worse as years go by. However you don't get to gatekeep this shit. It also gets worse at 30 compared to 20.

Absolutely correct.

I was nearly 30 when I first started occasionally waking up with my back and/or neck tweaked, and I probably haven't been 100% free from back/neck pain since I was in law school ('98-'01). For me, it's not so much that things have gotten worse as is that they haven't gotten better and things that wouldn't have been an issue 20-25 years ago now cause issues. For example, my daughter was in marching band, and they have a lot of equipment that needs to be lugged around. Last October, we were late arriving at a competition because of bad traffic, so a couple of us were starting to unload the trucks before kids arrived in their buses. There's one BIG case on wheels that has a lot of the sound equipment in it. The wheels just barely fit on the truck ramp, and the damn thing probably weighs 400 pounds. We got the front set of wheels onto the ramp when it started rolling, and I didn't have time to guide the back wheels onto the ramp. As a result, the back started tipping over, and there was nothing for me to grab onto to stop it. At some point, I had to make the decision to let it go and jump off the back of the truck or try and save it but probably get pulled flat on my face on asphalt. I went with the former and landed awkwardly on my heel (fortunately, none of the gear was damaged). It was a good 6 weeks before I would walk pain free, and favoring the one foot made other things flare up. If that had happened when I was 25, it would have been no bid deal.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1345 on:** January 21, 2022, 05:42:00 AM »

I remember when I turned 40, it was like someone flicked a switch in that my body just didn't recover from usual aches/pains/soreness the way it used to, AND I'd get hurt/injured from things that I wouldn't have in my pre-40s. Having just turned 50, my body said "hold my beer'. I dunno if it's because of the current workout program I'm on is rather intense, but my shoulders have been in a constant state of soreness for the last 3 weeks. Been stretching and rolling them out constantly just to try and prevent it from transitioning to outright pain.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Stadler · « **Reply #1346 on:** January 21, 2022, 07:29:21 AM »

I was never a big workout guy to begin with, but I stayed in decent shape for most of my life. I hit 50 and all bets were off. There are days I feel 80. Cold never bothered me; now, it gets too cold and my ankle and shoulders hurt. I fell off a ladder in like September, and hurt my ankle to the point I got x-rays (that's not me; I'm the "Fuck it, it'll heal" guy) and it STILL hurts me. I slipped and fell on ice a couple weeks ago, and banged my elbow to the point it bled for most of the day. Even a slight touch and it's in pain. This is the guy that played three hockey games with a broken foot. I've cut two casts off my arm because they were annoying. WTF? I've gone soft.

Zydar · « **Reply #1347 on:** January 21, 2022, 07:43:03 AM »

I've never been into workout and fitness at all, until two years ago when I started running a bit and lifting some weights. Now I guess I'm in the best shape of my life, and I just turned 40. No aching limbs or anything.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1348 on:** January 21, 2022, 08:17:33 AM »

Quote from: Zydar on January 21, 2022, 07:43:03 AM

I've never been into workout and fitness at all, until two years ago when I started running a bit and lifting some weights. Now I guess I'm in the best shape of my life, and I just turned 40. No aching limbs or anything.

Wait for it ...

I too am in the best shape of my life, and dearly wish I'd gotten there much earlier, as there are some 'costs' to it now (general ongoing soreness) that probably wouldn't have been 1/2 as bad if I'd done this 15-20 years ago.