The post funny stuff thread v.Aleph-naught

[Stadler]

I used to watch the NYE shows to see Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's public displays. What a pair.

I watch her on The Masked Singer, and for all her lunacy and what not, she still is a very attractive woman, though the lip fillers are starting to catch up with her.

[El Barto]

That's...actually pretty sound advice.    (although I have no idea why you would bring those things to church)

Y'all don't have potlucks in Cali?

[pg1067]

I wake my wife up 10 minutes before midnight. We have a toast, and then we're both asleep by 12:10.

If I woke my wife up at 11:50, I probably wouldn't live past 12:10.

That's...actually pretty sound advice.    (although I have no idea why you would bring those things to church)

Obviously not a Baptist.

[lonestar]

That's...actually pretty sound advice.    (although I have no idea why you would bring those things to church)

Pot luck.

[hefdaddy42]

Jeez, bosky.  After-church potluck lunches are the stuff of legend.  Hell, they are the only reason church happens at all in some places.

[YtseBitsySpider]

I used to watch the NYE shows to see Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's public displays. What a pair.

I watch her on The Masked Singer, and for all her lunacy and what not, she still is a very attractive woman, though the lip fillers are starting to catch up with her.

ya....not as bad Famke Jansen...my god woman. What did you do to your face!!?!? or Torri Spelling. UGH...

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

I used to watch the NYE shows to see Donnie Wahlberg and Jenny McCarthy's public displays. What a pair.

I watch her on The Masked Singer, and for all her lunacy and what not, she still is a very attractive woman, though the lip fillers are starting to catch up with her.

ya....not as bad Famke Jansen...my god woman. What did you do to your face!!?!?

Seriously, she now looks 20 years older with a bad face lift. Why can't people just age gracefully. She was still a beautiful woman. And I strongly emphasize *was*, because now she is scary looking. She's starting to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein....

[Lonk]

[Zydar]

[jingle.boy]

 

... then she tells you to choose, and proceeds to complain that isn't what she wanted to eat.

[Orbert]

Been there, done that.  Many times.

[King Postwhore]

I'm triggered. 

[ReaperKK]

... then she tells you to choose, and proceeds to complain that isn't what she wanted to eat.

I put an end to this madness a few years back. I told my wife I'm going to give her three choices, and she gives me three, if we can't agree I'll get what I want and she is on her own. The prospect of her having to get her own lunch/dinner is so horrifying that now she always comes up with something

[Orbert]

The concept of dining together as a social/family thing seems to have evolved.  When I was growing up, we all sat down to dinner together; mom, dad, and the kids.  And we all ate the same thing: whatever mom had made for dinner.

Now, if we all happen to eat together, it just means we're eating at the same time.  Mrs. Orbert may have prepared something for all, but just as often I have some leftovers from something, Son of Orbert doesn't like what mom made so he's ordered something (it will be here soon), and Daughter isn't really hungry since they ate something while she was at her friend's house an hour ago, but she'll sit down with us.

When we go out, everyone orders whatever they want, but at least we're all together at the same place.  For a while, when the kids were younger and schedules were crazy, we'd just go to the food court at the mall.  Everyone can grab whatever they want from any of 20+ places, but at least we all sit and eat together.

I'm not sure what my point was anymore, but I think it had to do with it just being myself and Mrs. O these days, but somehow it seems important that we at least get food from the same place.  Like Mrs. ReaperKK, the idea of her getting food from somewhere else is wrong.  I feel like eating xxxx, but if she's not into that, I'm fine with something else.  She can pick something else.  But she can't decide and it's been 20 minutes now, and I'm hungry.  JUST FUCKING PICK SOMETHING!!

[pg1067]

... then she tells you to choose, and proceeds to complain that isn't what she wanted to eat.

Nice to hear I'm not the only one.

The concept of dining together as a social/family thing seems to have evolved.  When I was growing up, we all sat down to dinner together; mom, dad, and the kids.  And we all ate the same thing: whatever mom had made for dinner.

Now, if we all happen to eat together, it just means we're eating at the same time.  Mrs. Orbert may have prepared something for all, but just as often I have some leftovers from something, Son of Orbert doesn't like what mom made so he's ordered something (it will be here soon), and Daughter isn't really hungry since they ate something while she was at her friend's house an hour ago, but she'll sit down with us.

Sounds like my house, except that, when I was growing up, things were very different.  My father died when I was 7, and I have only fuzzy recollections of a few things before that.  After he died, it was just my mother and I for a few years until my older brother moved back in.  I was a hugely finicky eater, and my mom would make something special for me, and I'd eat it in front of the TV while she made whatever she was going to eat.  My brother was on his own, and the only times we sat down together as a family were birthdays and holidays.

With my own family, we started out with everyone eating together, but that hasn't been the case for the last 5-6 years (my kids are now 19 and just turned 18).  Before we had kids, I used to make the "McDonald's-Wendy's run" because we lived near a location where both were almost next door to each other.  I've never been a fan of McD's, and she wasn't ever a big fan of Wendy's.  That has evolved into the use of the word "fend" a lot in the house (as in, "you guys get what you want, and I'll fend [for myself]").  My daughter is now a vegetarian, so she's almost always on the outside looking in, and the son has taken to ordering pizza after everyone else is asleep.  Fun stuff!

The other thing is that my wife and son (although I finally got my wife out of the habit for the most part) are/were in the habit of coming to me and declaring, "I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want" (which was essentially a demand that I figure out what they want to eat).  UGH!

[Stadler]

I love my wife, but - and I've told her this to her face, so I'm not talking out of school - she's a zero at that situational decision-making.   I once asked her for the recipe to "I don't care", since she requested that so much I figured I should know how to make it!

I do most/all the cooking, so I accommodate where I can.  My stepson and daughter are both very picky (for different reasons) so I will sometimes have to make three different meals, but overall it's usually good.

The only rule: if we're all home we all sit and eat at the same time.  If you can't spare 30 minutes for your fam, then there's a bigger problem.

[Orbert]

Mundane but true story:  I was grabbing dinner somewhere between work and rehearsal, and at a nearby table, a lady and her daughter were eating, and the lady was telling the little girl that when she was little, they would all sit down and have dinner together, just like on that TV show that were watching last night.  The little girl couldn't believe it.  You all ate the same thing?  What if someone didn't like it?  And so on.

In my house, you had two choices: eat what mom made for dinner, or go hungry.  Not liking what mom made was irrelevant.  This is the food.  If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you aren't getting anything else.

[Stadler]

In my house, you had two choices: eat what mom made for dinner, or go hungry.  Not liking what mom made was irrelevant.  This is the food.  If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you aren't getting anything else.

That was my house. 

Mom: "We're having pork chops."
Me:  "I want something different!"
Dad: "HAHA, that's funny.  Eat your dinner."

[lordxizor]

In my house, you had two choices: eat what mom made for dinner, or go hungry.  Not liking what mom made was irrelevant.  This is the food.  If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you aren't getting anything else.

That was my house. 

Mom: "We're having pork chops."
Me:  "I want something different!"
Dad: "HAHA, that's funny.  Eat your dinner."

That's still my house. Almost every day I say something along the lines of "you don't have to eat it, but this is what's for dinner. There's nothing else until breakfast." And you know what? They always eat it.

[Orbert]

I just remembered something from the early years.  Mom made something that I just couldn't eat.  I mean I'd take a mouthful, or even just a little bit, and gag.  I could not swallow it.  It was horrible.  I recall now that the original rule was that you had to eat your dinner; you don't leave the table until it's gone.  I couldn't do it.  I tried.  I actually wanted to eat it, just so I could get up and leave, but I couldn't do it.  Everyone else finished up, headed out to the living room to watch TV, whatever, but I sat there at the table for hours trying to eat my dinner, and failing because my mouth just wouldn't allow it.  Finally, at like 10:00, my mom came back in and took it away.  It was time to go to bed (school night).

I think that's when the rule changed from "you must eat what mom made" to "you either eat it or go hungry".

[Stadler]

In my house, you had two choices: eat what mom made for dinner, or go hungry.  Not liking what mom made was irrelevant.  This is the food.  If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you aren't getting anything else.

That was my house. 

Mom: "We're having pork chops."
Me:  "I want something different!"
Dad: "HAHA, that's funny.  Eat your dinner."

That's still my house. Almost every day I say something along the lines of "you don't have to eat it, but this is what's for dinner. There's nothing else until breakfast." And you know what? They always eat it.

There is a great line in Yellowstone about that.  Mo Brings Plenty's wife gives their son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the kid won't eat it.  Mo asks, and the wife says he doesn't like them.  Mo says "Boy's not hungry enough."    Word. 

[pg1067]

Mo Brings Plenty's wife gives their son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

I'm honestly not sure what this is a reference to, but this is one of the stranger sentence fragments I've read in a while.   

[Stadler]

Mo Brings Plenty's wife gives their son a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

I'm honestly not sure what this is a reference to, but this is one of the stranger sentence fragments I've read in a while.   

In the TV show Yellowstone (EXCELLENT, by the way) the subject ranch - the Yellowstone Dutton Ranch - is adjacent to an Indian reservation.   One of the characters is named "Mo Brings Plenty"(interestingly, his name in real life and in the show) and there was a scene in Mo's kitchen, where the exchange took place.

[TAC]

I've seen the scenes to Yellowstone. It actually looks interesting.

[pg1067]

I've seen the scenes to Yellowstone. It actually looks interesting.

My wife watches it and I have caught bits and pieces.  The most memorable was about 10-15 minutes of colossal assholes being dicks to other colossal assholes.

[pg1067]

[Stadler]

I've seen the scenes to Yellowstone. It actually looks interesting.

My wife watches it and I have caught bits and pieces.  The most memorable was about 10-15 minutes of colossal assholes being dicks to other colossal assholes.

I just finished Season 4 last night (there are four seasons so far, and season five is supposed to start filming in May), and while that is not entirely inaccurate, it's not accurate either.  It's an incredibly well-written, well-acted (Kelly Reilly and Cole Hauser are just GOLD) series that explores a fair amount of issues facing us (as Americans) every day, without ANY preaching or grandstanding.  It's about honor, even if that is sometimes honor amongst thieves. It's about personal choice versus adapting to one's environment.  It's about family and what it means to BE family...  I've cried twice watching it; it can be brutal at times (Beth, played by Kelly Reilly, is not for the faint-hearted) but it's very clear in the context that LIFE is brutal at times, and this show shows - without judgment - how these particular people navigate that minefield.

[Stadler]

That's pretty much Alan Rickman in (clockwise), Duran Duran, Human League,  Depeche Mode, and Nine Inch Nails (not 80s New Wave, but still).

[pg1067]

I've seen the scenes to Yellowstone. It actually looks interesting.

My wife watches it and I have caught bits and pieces.  The most memorable was about 10-15 minutes of colossal assholes being dicks to other colossal assholes.

I just finished Season 4 last night (there are four seasons so far, and season five is supposed to start filming in May), and while that is not entirely inaccurate, it's not accurate either.

It WAS accurate of the bit I saw (although I can't necessarily say with certainty that the characters I saw were always assholes).  The rest of your description sounds very unappealing.

That's pretty much Alan Rickman in (clockwise), Duran Duran, Human League,  Depeche Mode, and Nine Inch Nails (not 80s New Wave, but still).

I was thinking the top right was Duran Duran (very much a Simon LeBon).  Top left is more Thompson Twins.  Bottom left Depeche Mode or Ministry (not that I'm particularly familiar with either band).  Not sure about the Hans Gruber pic.

[hefdaddy42]

It's an incredibly well-written, well-acted (Kelly Reilly and Cole Hauser are just GOLD) series that explores a fair amount of issues facing us (as Americans) every day, without ANY preaching or grandstanding.  It's about honor, even if that is sometimes honor amongst thieves. It's about personal choice versus adapting to one's environment.  It's about family and what it means to BE family...  I've cried twice watching it; it can be brutal at times (Beth, played by Kelly Reilly, is not for the faint-hearted) but it's very clear in the context that LIFE is brutal at times, and this show shows - without judgment - how these particular people navigate that minefield.

That's a pretty fucking good description of the show.

In my house, you had two choices: eat what mom made for dinner, or go hungry.  Not liking what mom made was irrelevant.  This is the food.  If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, but you aren't getting anything else.

That was definitely the scenario when I was growing up.

Our eldest now lives with her fiance, but with my wife and youngest, we always eat dinner together, and almost always the same thing.  If my wife cooks, she cooks one meal, and that's what we all eat.  Or we will order dinner from one restaurant. 

My wife is the most finnicky eater of any of us, so if she cooks it, we all like it (or we damn well shut up about it and eat it).

My wife will occasionally declare it to be a "whatever" night, meaning we all fend for ourselves from whatever is on hand in pantry, fridge, or freezer, i.e. she is not cooking.

[bosk1]

That's basically how I have always felt it should be.  But that isn't how it often plays out in our house, for two reasons:
 
(1)  My wife at some point fairly early on took to making different things to appease what she knows are likes/dislikes of the kids.  It kinda drives me nuts, but it's a battle I don't need to fight. 

(2)  To varying degrees, the kids all know how to cook and are decent at it, so they can (and sometimes do) make whatever they want to eat if they don't like what is there. 

Through the years, I have chosen to not dwell on the things about those scenarios that bother me, and to just enjoy the fact that we at least make the time to eat together almost every night.

[Orbert]

That's really the important thing, just the fact that you're having a meal together.  I'm not sure why, but it seems like something that helps reinforce bonds and stuff like that.  We all need to eat; might as well do it together.  Shared experience and all that.

[Stadler]

Studies have shown that families that eat meals together generally eat healthier, and form stronger emotional bonds.  Obesity is lower among families that eat together, as are incidences of high risk behavior in the children.

The link I gave is but one, picked randomly.  This is not speculation or wishful thinking.

[Cool Chris]

Loving the appreciation for eating as a family. Both my wife and I grew up doing so, and have striven to incorporate it in to our family. We struggled for a bit with my elder kid in getting her to eat what we made for dinner, but it has gotten a lot better. We are trying extra hard with our younger to avoid those same struggles as she gets older.

Getting back on track with the funnies...

The most memorable was about 10-15 minutes of colossal assholes being dicks to other colossal assholes.

Isn't this the basis for all reality tv shows?

[bosk1]

It's always been important to us, and we incorporated it when the kids were young so it would be second nature.  I mean, we aren't completely inflexible about it.  We bend the rule on that occasionally.  If one of them has a final and needs more study time, and wants to get dinner on the run to study, for example, it's fine...provided it doesn't become a habit.  But I can't begin to describe the value in just having that time together every day.