Mike, I believe you are a good man and I am fond of both you and Cyril. Now, about comedy, can I offer a professional's view?
I don't wish to patronise, but as a comedian in musical theater - i.e. not only making jokes for different audiences, but doing it while working, traveling and living with people who are 80% gay - I have a horrendous amount of experience in incidents like this one, and maybe I can provide some perspective.
What did I learn, often in tears because clashing with people I love?
When you make a joke to a friend, you're not making comedy. He's not paid to listen to your idea of funny and fock off if he feels offended by it. You do it to have a mutual good time. If your friend is hurt by it, the only thing at stake is his feelings, not your philosophy of comedy.
Mind you, I am not accusing you of the fallout. You guys both did a piss poor job communicating, and once Cyril booted you out and gave the impression of giving a label, he dumped every possibility of really making you even consider that a weaponised (not by you) joke becomes a de facto weapon in the victim's eye, usually for a shitload of time.
Apologies and peace can truly only happen talking the issue in trust and good faith to teach and learn, without being sidetracked by noise like transphobic labelling or comedy policing.
I've been taught (by comedians) that comedy refuses policing because it's been policing itself for a couple of millennia with one simple rule:
Always make fun of what one does, never of what one is.