I think Miller got it 100%. I agree with the idea that he's always been that way and that keeping up appearances is a strong part of it. But he was sulking about even before he met the family, so I still wouldn't say that the family being a replacement and a way to mask his true self is all there is to it. You mentioned the BTK Killer, but then there's a guy like Robert Yates, who I was unfortunate enough to read about one day. Loved the shit out of his family as it's said - but the dude was a necrophiliac murderer! If a real person can maintain that completely opposite dichotomy and be genuine in both (though obviously he's much more the evil bastard far beyond the point of no return), it's not crazy for The Gov. The burning of the photo was about letting go form an emotional standpoint, he creased the photo so that it would show his wife and daughter but not himself, so it's safe to say he cared about them more than an old pair of shoes. I think that he, as Miller said, is coming to terms with the man that he has become and partially always been. And I agree that you can sympathize with the man he once was and the parts of this old self that he's struggling to hold onto while still recognizing the evil and nearly heartless person he's become now. Once again going back to the morbid serial killer analogy, plenty of killers came out of absolutely awful experiences and conditions that you can sympathize with and feel empathy for while still condemning and even hating that person for the things that they've done and who they are currently. It's not justification, but it is understanding. So that's my thinking, anyways.
And I also think that this was the best episode of the season so far, despite the first half of the episode. Speaking of Clear, I'm wondering when Morgan will pop back up and in what context, considering he's supposed to make an appearance this season.