I've been reflecting on my current situation and realizing how much better I do in a non-monogamous lifestyle, as well as doing the mostly-solo thing. I feel like putting all of your eggs in one basket, so to speak, can lead to a lot of issues and resentment. There's really no way one person can have every single quality you love, or share all of your interests, etc. Also, you rely on people too much and they often disappoint or hurt you. I realize this is wounded me talking, but it's still true. I don't ever want to feel like I NEED another person to be happy, or to rely too heavily on them. I just did not like the person I was in monogamous relationships, nor do I particularly like the person I am when I get heavily involved with somebody else. I don't want dependence or codependency. If this means feeling a bit lonely sometimes, I can deal with that. I feel like I've been lonely all my life, really.
I see a lot of myself in this, specifically the "this is the wounded me talking". I feel like when I start to date and like someone, the wounded me comes out and wants to run away from commitment. For exactly the same reasons, heartbreak and changing of yourself. I've always been a loner as well, easily the odd one in the family, easily the odd one in my friends, the guy who marches to the beat of his own drum. The only difference is that inside, I would LOVE to find that right person for a monogamous relationship. I think my wounds have just left me to be ultra picky now. I almost always the one who ends things now, I am always the one who finds something wrong and I can't get it out of my mind and then question is it really something wrong with them or something wrong with me? I believe it's possible to find that person and not have to change who you are, not have to change your lifestyle, someone who just fits in with you and who is a great person and one that you can love. Just got to find that person somewhere.
Sacul, keep trying and can't let the non response stop you. If I had to put a ratio on responses I would say I only get 1 response for every 15 messages on okcupid. Out of the responses I would say 1 out of 5 actually lead to a legit convo and something more. The odds are low is my point, got to keep at it and keep trying. Even with Tinder where you actually both "like" each other I still get non responses. Whatever, it's part of the game and you got to keep playing if you want to win.
What's going on with the Brooklyn girl?
Still talking,might see her today. My date from Wednesday cancelled on me the night before so I ended up hanging with this girl instead. We just watched TV, nothing worthy of mentioning really. I really do want to meet this other girl though. She seems like the most well rounded person I have talked to (has a job, funny, pretty, a social life, good family, pets) just got to get a settled date. Normally a cancelled first date for me is grounds for stopping the communication, but she had a legit reason and I didn't feel like she was toying with me. It has been almost 3 weeks of chatting though so I want to get the meeting over with, maybe this week.
There was also a third girl from Tinder that I met recently, just had a drink or two and chatted. Very cute girl and very nice and sincere. However, she doesn't seem to be my type, we are still talking and I'd like to meet her again because shes a really nice lady and all. But she is low on my priorities right now.
A big topic of discussion during Christmas dinner with the family was tinder and how changing my picture helped me lol