It's not happening. I'm not just on a different wavelength than most women, I'm also phase shifted. At least the feelings tend to be mutual non-interest. I'm not interested in single mothers, the emotionally damaged, the uneducated, and the largely defective dating pool that remains at my age; and women don't seem to be interested in me because I'm extremely intelligent, overweight, don't drive a truck or other penis compensating vehicle, I'm not edgy enough because I don't have any tats, and live a life free of drugs and police raids - you know, boring.
If I'm going to be brutally honest, that sort of attitude towards dating and yourself isn't very attractive. I don't believe in the power of thoughts or magical attraction or whatever, but I would know this attitude when I see it.
At your age, there just aren't any "groups" of bad guys and good guys. Like maybe that sorta thing figures in one's very early 20's or something. Afterwards there are people who have interesting lives you'd like to be a part of, and people who just don't do anything of interest to you, whether they have 0 or 20 tattoos. If you wouldn't give a woman shit for drinking one too many glasses of wine at a party or something, you absolutely
aren't too goodie-goodie for any woman, no matter what anyone says. If you're a boring person, you're a boring person, but you can be a cool person (AND, considered to be cool) without doing drugs and getting tattoos. Like, you seem to be stuck in this jocks vs geeks stereotype, and maybe you make it seem true to you, but to everyone else it's not the truth.
You seem to elevate yourself from the rest of your dating pool and at the same time you're kind of self-deprecating. But, you know, man, you're an ordinary person. Sure, you are very intelligent, have a cool academic career, but so do thousands of other people! You're overweight, but hundreds of thousands of other men are, and hundreds of thousands of women date them!
And you seem to put people into neat little categories. You know, I met a guy I liked who was
just the right thing for me, and he turned out to be not so rosy. I was going after viking-looking guys with tats and great hair and I wasn't finding any decent fellas, but I didn't just say they're not interested in good girls who don't do drugs and don't fuck on the first date. I met my boyfriend who's a software dev, has played more video games than I've seen in my life, who's twice my weight, hates prog
and based on your view of the world, I should have coldly rejected him, right? But I chased after him for a month, because I find him attractive, fun, full of life, and he makes me feel secure and wonderful. Even though I have to go to some other people to discuss sociology and music and if he has to ask someone else for advice on his job, we belong together. Because I've also made an effort to cheer for him when he plays a game and he made an effort to have an opinion about women's clothes.
No, you don't have to settle for someone who doesn't make you happy. But at the same time, you need to start looking out of the box, and seeing what really attracts the type of women that you're attracted to, and then getting that quality and start demonstrating it to the world. There are downsides to every quality. When I wasn't too attractive, I attracted the sort of guy who thought they were doing me a favor by being interested in me. Now when I'm more attractive, I've run into guys who only want a hot bod since the only other person they're interested in is themselves. But you can't get to both label large segments of your dating pool as "defective" and then not do anything to widen it (become more attractive, more outgoing, more interesting, more loving).