This is a topic close to my heart; I do 99% of the cooking, and probably 85% of the cleanup. I hand-wash the pans and the preparation knives/utensils. We dishwash all the plateware and silverware used for eating and periodically I will put in the "spatula" (it's not but close) I used for saute-ing. I can look at a plate/silverware in the dishwasher and tell you who put it there. Me: top shelf starting from the back, "open" sides down; bottom shelf, plates in a line (rinsed) and silverware evenly spaced, used-side UP. The wife USUALLY follows this, though the silverware is often handle side up. Kids: everything jammed to the front. ALL the silverware in the first bin (I'd bet a round of drinks he doesn't even pull out the slide) hap-hazardly jammed in.
I put the silverware in hand down, "used" side up to facilitate cleaning. I don't know if it's myth or paranoia or what, but I worry being jammed in the bin restricts the water/soap flow and reduces the "cleaning efficiency". I do 90% of the unloading, so I'm usually cognizant of not getting impaled.