What pissed you off today?

[El Barto]

That LITERALLY happened to me; I brought an arrow head I found in the woods and BAM! it was gone.  According to the faculty, it was a "lesson learned" (which, of course, they were right).

That kind of shit is what finally convinced me that the purpose of schooling wasn't to actually educate kids, although that's certainly a nice bonus, but to instill a respect/fear of authority. Given my lifelong disregard of authority, it's honestly pretty amazing what a couple of worthless principals can do to a kid.

I don't remember the age of Grapp's daughter, but at that age, a personal apology could be appropriate. Other than being an opportunistic thief, it's possible they actually were sorry.

I had Stadler's initial reaction to that as well, but decided this was correct. If she's in high school then I'm raising hell about it. If it's a kindergarten thing then a teachable moment is fine.

[El Barto]

Speaking of, I'm brewing a post and have been for a week or so, about the level to which we are "observed" in our society.  It has, to my estimation, noticeably changed how people behave.  I'll write more when I get my thoughts together.

This will naturally be of interest to me. I'm sure I'll have a lot to add. Suffice it to say, it sure seems to me that it's only brought about negative change, and nothing positive.

[Cool Chris]

When my older kid started 7th grade she would come home and show us pictures from school. I asked her when the hell she had time and opportunity to take those. She said some teachers let them use their phones if they are done with their work, or to listen to music while working. What in the blue hell?

She also had a couple bracelets taken from her, but from what I could piece together she put them down on a bench during lunch and lo and behold, they vanished. So teachable moment for her on that one. She said later she saw a girl wearing one of them, and asked her about it. The other girl said it was hers and had a story about how she bought it. It was a long conversation between her, mom, and I on how far she wanted to take it to get them back, or rat out the girl, or both. Mom was tormented by some gang-bangers in middle school so was content to let it go, believing a couple cheap bracelets weren't worth getting on the bad side of some mean girls. I told her I wasn't happy with my kid giving the impression to others that she will lay down and let them piss on her face and take it. But we came to an agreement and chalked this one up to a loss, and her having a better awareness of her property and her associates.

[Jamesman42]

That kind of shit is what finally convinced me that the purpose of schooling wasn't to actually educate kids, although that's certainly a nice bonus, but to instill a respect/fear of authority. Given my lifelong disregard of authority, it's honestly pretty amazing what a couple of worthless principals can do to a kid.

You think all teachers are there to instill fear and respect?

[El Barto]

You think all teachers are there to instill fear and respect?

No. The principals are.

[Grappler]

When I was in school, had that happened to me the principle would have just said "you shouldn't have brought it to school in the first place. Next time don't be such a dumbass." Hell, my high school vice principle would have given me two weeks detention for it.

Also, while I'm glad it helped to get your kid's property bag, it saddens me that everything kids do in school now is captured on video. Being a kid nowadays must really suck ass.

The principal told me that - "Our opinion is that she shouldn't bring it to school."  Noted, but she rides the bus and complains that the bus is loud, so she listens to music to drown out the other kids.  She and I talked about when we drive places in the car and I tell her to hide her iPad under the seat - that if you keep something out of sight, it's harder for people to take it.  A huge light-bulb went off for her then - something was stolen from her because she left it sitting out. 

Agreed about the video, but it helps when it comes to school incidents, both for finding fault and for finding innocence.  My daughter was mad at another kid earlier this year and said that the girl got physical with her in gym class and pushed her down.  They reviewed the video and nothing like that happened.  My daughter had an emotional day and lied, which was bad.  The other kid was saved from punishment, and my kid got punished at home for lying.  I'm a big proponent for advancing technology in education, and security cameras are a part of the tools that they can use for school administration. 

But given that it IS on video - also share Bart's lament on that, by the way - but I have to say: "personally apologizing" and "giving it back" are not "consequences".  I don't mean to say that kid should do jail time, but that down side is to pretend it didn't happen.  It's not "school rules" to not take something that doesn't belong to you.  The consequences, IMO, should have been harsher.  You know, a DETERRENT.

I didn't say that wasn't part of the consequences.  The school doesn't share exactly what the exact consequences are with the other families involved, but he did state that a physical apology and handing back of the stolen item would be part of it, which is difficult for an 8 year old to do.  The elementary school does not use detentions for punishment, but the district and board have a disciplinary policy that has varied measures, depending on the infraction.  Apparently this is a newer family to the school and the kid arrived mid-year, so I don't know much about the family.  I'm hoping it's a deterrent.

[Jamesman42]

No. The principals are.

Man, I don't know, the principal of one school I've worked at was not like that, to a fault.

[Grappler]

No. The principals are.

I think there is a balance.  Kids do learn that they can't get on the bad side of the principal.  I did once in elementary school in the 80's.  Brought my Megatron Transformer toy to school for show and tell.  Hey look, the robot turns into a gun!  I was out at recess and my 6'4" principal stalked me down and let me have it right there on the playground that even though it is a toy, we can never bring anything to school that looks like a gun.  I still look back on that, even though it happened 35 years ago.  He was a tall, stiff guy. 

At the same time, the principal also has to be caring.  We were picking my daughter up once in the car pickup line.  She got in and left her hand on the door frame.  The teacher that was helping kids into cars shut the door and pinched her fingers.  The teacher felt awful and reported it to the principal - he called us a few minutes after we got home to check up on her.

My daughter's principal is amazing and makes it so fun for them to be at school and has cultivated a very great environment.  Throughout the year, they have principal challenges - they raise enough money and then he has to do something crazy.  He was duct-taped to the wall, he's been covered in icky foods.  I love the guy and respect him and the majority of the students and parents do too. 

[TAC]

We had a great principal here in our town's high school.


A school principal is really the first and likely only authority figure kids will come across growing up, not counting the teachers. It's important to know who's in charge and to act accordingly. Bart's right in that regard, though somehow he makes it sound way more sinister.

[Stadler]

In my high school, the principal was a very nice man named Donald M., very fair, very personable, very reasonable.   Smart man.   The two assistant principals?   Relative goons.  One, Leon M. we called "Leon" to his face and he didn't like it.  He and the other guy, Ronald G., were the heavies.   

[jingle.boy]

From my memory, it was the Vice-Principals that were the 'bad cops'.  I have no negative memories of the Principals I had as a kid.  Some of the Principals that my kids had were borderline incompetent, but most of them were pretty good.  We ran into a few terrible VPs, but also a few really good ones.

[cramx3]

From my memory, it was the Vice-Principals that were the 'bad cops'.  I have no negative memories of the Principals I had as a kid.  Some of the Principals that my kids had were borderline incompetent, but most of them were pretty good.  We ran into a few terrible VPs, but also a few really good ones.

Yeah, my experience was the VP was the person you did not want to get sent to. That person was responsible for handing out the punishments. I dont have much of an opinion on the principles themselves.  But I do know a school principle and this guy is a huge hippie and does lots of drugs and it's quite amazing what his profession is 

[El Barto]

From my memory, it was the Vice-Principals that were the 'bad cops'.  I have no negative memories of the Principals I had as a kid.  Some of the Principals that my kids had were borderline incompetent, but most of them were pretty good.  We ran into a few terrible VPs, but also a few really good ones.

This is my experience, as well. Vice principals are the ones that see kids every day, and they're the ones out to establish dominance. At the same time they can switch cop-roles as needed. I got along well with the principal, Dr. B., but the vice principal Hogan despised me. The latter was the one that always had to deal with me. At the same time a good friend of mine would tell you exactly the opposite. She got along great with Hogan and Dr. B. took the bad cop role to make sure she never graduated.

[Jamesman42]

I remember really liking my elementary principal as a kid. No idea if I even met my middle school one. My high school principal was just there, seemed really neutral but never had to interact with him.

[axeman90210]

My elementary school principal was a nun, she was usually very nice. She and I are actually FB friends I don't know that I ever interacted with my high school principal, don't have a clue what his name was. I do remember the name of the VP in charge of discipline, even though he and I thankfully had minimal interactions over those four years.

[Stadler]

Sidebar, my elementary school principal was the first school figure I met "outside of school" and realized she was a real person!  Hahaha.  Years after she left the school system I was in New Haven at the Yale Museum and she was working as a docent and we had a nice conversation.  I found out then (and confirmed this to be true with ALL the principals of my schools) that she had a friendly relationship with my parents (particularly with my dad).  I don't mean "inappropriate", I just mean that my dad knew all my principals and talked with them fairly frequently.  I didn't know that at the time!!!!!

[El Barto]

Man, I don't know, the principal of one school I've worked at was not like that, to a fault.

Honest question: Who's more likely to succeed in your school, the highly intelligent rebel or the compliant dipshit?

[hefdaddy42]

From my memory, it was the Vice-Principals that were the 'bad cops'. 

That was my experience in high school.  My freshman year I got into a minor situation and the VP was really being a hardass in the kind of "punishment" he was going to hand down and my Dad told him to fuck off, that the VP was not in any way a bigger badass with more stroke than my Dad had, and was not going to mete out excessive punishment for a minor incident, and Dad told the VP what my punishment would be, to which he agreed.

Good times.

[soupytwist]

Our Headmaster (UK) got caught having an affair with a substitute teacher, apparently they were caught shagging on the school field (this was the rumour among the pupils anyway!).  The affair was 100% true as it made the local papers, both were suspended and never came back 

[jingle.boy]

Our Headmaster (UK) got caught having an affair with a substitute teacher, apparently they were caught shagging on the school field (this was the rumour among the pupils anyway!).  The affair was 100% true as it made the local papers, both were suspended and never came back 

[Jamesman42]

Honest question: Who's more likely to succeed in your school, the highly intelligent rebel or the compliant dipshit?

Succeed at what?

[lordxizor]

NCAA basketball championship (or any major sporting event really) being only on a cable channel instead of broadcast TV.

[King Postwhore]

Thankfully,  I never put myself in the crosshairs except once. I neighbor who I helps called me out and wanted to fight at a well known spot around the school. I told him I would not fight him.

I didn't show up. The next day, many harassed me. So at gym class, in the locker room I confronted jim. He said he wouldn't fight on school grounds. I proceeded to destroy him. And then called out those who harassed me.

No one challenged Mr and no one said a word about the incident. No one ever bothered me again.

I didn't feel good about it snd never understood why he challenged me. 

[cramx3]

Not sure if the right place, but just ranting a bit about the wedding I went to over the weekend....

So my gf's college friend got married, they live in Maryland and she is Indian.  So they had this big wedding at the Live! casino near Baltimore.  This was the worst wedding I've been to.  So being that the bride is Indian, they wanted to do a partial hindu traditional wedding.  The groom was Christian so they did a quick 20 minute Christian ceremony, which was more American traditional. 

Well, to start, they said to be there at 2pm and service starts at 3pm.  I got there at 2:40.  The service didn't start until 3:30.  Then the Hindo service didn't end until 5:30.  The service itself was MISERABLE.  Now I get it, a lot of it was traditional stuff that I don't udnerstand and was in a different language.  But what truly made it bad, you couldn't see anything because of all the big flowers in the way.  You couldn't hear anything because the guy didn't talk loud enough.  There was no organization so there were long moments of confusion and silence.  The little pamphlet they handed out stating the things happening was way off from what actually happened.  The couple never said their vows (something I know they wrote because my gf had to print it out for the bride) and they never did a first kiss.  It was just very awkward and terribly long ceremony. 

So now the cocktail hour, which got pushed back into the reception because the ceremony went too long.  There was no food! A few people came out with apps to hand out, but the large starving crowd literally would eat them all before they could even got out of the kitchen door.  It was savage. 

Finally got into the reception room.  The DJ was all confused because the bride and groom werent to be found.  So the festivities inside the hall were all delayed.  They had a buffet they opened up and it was all the worst food I may have ever had.  It was indian food, which I like, but none of it tasted good including the worst lobster dish I may have ever tasted. 

My gf was the maid of honor and eventually gave her speech, but people just talked over her.  I was so annoyed because people legit asked her after "when is your speech?" My gf's parents were there, they actually left the hall to get food elsewhere it was THAT bad.  The mom of the bride asked on the mic if everyone was enjoying the food and there was silence 

Eventually the wedding ended and we went to the casino where the booze, music, and food were all light years better than in the wedding hall.  I don't think I saw the bride and groom smile the entire day / night.  At least it was a different experience.

[El Barto]

Eh, it sounds like most of the weddings I've had to suffer through.

[Grappler]

I'm so glad that I haven't been to a wedding in 11 years.  I was invited to a few out of town weddings for college friends, but our kids were just born and I declined.  In the mid-late 00's, I averaged 4-5 weddings per year between coworkers, college friends and family.  It was awful.  We counted that we had attended 30+ weddings during those years. 

[cramx3]

Eh, it sounds like most of the weddings I've had to suffer through.

Most wedding I've attended have been fun.  It's usually hit or miss with food and the events of the actual wedding, but generally, there's a joy and happiness in the room.  There was none of that, it felt like everyone was miserable 

[hefdaddy42]

I can honestly say I've enjoyed all the weddings I've gone to.

[King Postwhore]

I've got a wedding this Saturday to go to. 

[TAC]

  I don't think I saw the bride and groom smile the entire day / night. 

Hopefully, you'll enjoy their second weddings a lot more.

[TAC]

I fucking hate going to weddings.

[cramx3]

Hopefully, you'll enjoy their second weddings a lot more.

 

Yeah, definitely didn't get the loving feelings from that wedding. I had never met this couple before, but my first impression was "is the groom gay?"

I fucking hate going to weddings.

Not surprised by that.  I'm not a big social guy, but if the wedding has an open bar and a band, it's almost guaranteed a good time for me. I've also been to a few shit weddings but had a lot of fun just hanging with friends or family. 

My older sister still had my favorite wedding, great food, live band, open bar, and the people filled the dance floor. It was just so much fun. My college roommates wedding wasn't that far behind for all the same reasons. 

[Grappler]

My favorite wedding to attend as a guest was my cousin's.  They live in Vegas and got married off the strip at a golf club.  The reception included a performance from an Elvis impersonator, who was awesome...but my mom ruined that mystique by asking my cousin where he knew of that guy.  The response was "well, he's just a guy on my bowling league."      After the reception, the family that had traveled out to Vegas went to the little off-the-strip hotel/casino (The Silverton) to party, enjoyed a band playing in the bar and stayed up basically all night.  I was 22 or 23 at the time, so it was just a magical family trip, where the parents were in their 40's/50's/60's and my generation were in all our 20's or 30's.  In the years that followed, the family started drifting apart, my aunts and my mom all developed alzheimer's and things changed.  But those years were about as close as our extended family ever was.

We had a smaller destination wedding in FL and some of my cousins and aunts came, but it wasn't quite as raucous as an all-nighter in Vegas.   

[hefdaddy42]

Nick's wedding was hella fun.

[cramx3]

My favorite wedding to attend as a guest was my cousin's.  They live in Vegas and got married off the strip at a golf club.  The reception included a performance from an Elvis impersonator, who was awesome...but my mom ruined that mystique by asking my cousin where he knew of that guy.  The response was "well, he's just a guy on my bowling league."      After the reception, the family that had traveled out to Vegas went to the little off-the-strip hotel/casino (The Silverton) to party, enjoyed a band playing in the bar and stayed up basically all night.  I was 22 or 23 at the time, so it was just a magical family trip, where the parents were in their 40's/50's/60's and my generation were in all our 20's or 30's.  In the years that followed, the family started drifting apart, my aunts and my mom all developed alzheimer's and things changed.  But those years were about as close as our extended family ever was.

We had a smaller destination wedding in FL and some of my cousins and aunts came, but it wasn't quite as raucous as an all-nighter in Vegas.

My brother's wedding had a Michael Jackson impersonator.  Apparently the guy is a family friend of my brother's wife's family and does the gig at a lot of their family parties so it was only appropriate for him to do the act at the wedding.  It was a lot of fun.  Hung out with him later in the night when his gig was over, he was heading to tour europe doing it soon