What pissed you off today?

[lordxizor]

I bought my mom's old vehicle for my son who is 15. I've been driving it in the short term since it gets much better gas mileage than the other vehicle I have available.  A few month later and the transmission blows up. $4000 to rebuild it. The vehicle is maybe worth about that much. I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm inclined to just sell it as is or donate it. But I know it's been well cared for. Buying a used vehicle for <$5000 is a crap shoot. I may end up with something worse. While they're under no obligation, I hope my parents give me back what I paid them for it. They got out just at the right time.

It's been a rough year for unplanned expenses. I hate dealing with this kind of crap.

[Stadler]

Just asking... what kind of car?  Rebuilds can be expensive, but for many cars, you can get a replacement transmission from a junkyard for a fraction of that cost.  If you know a mechanic that can install it... there's risk in that the replacement could blow up in a month too, but if this isn't the daily for your wife to transport your newborn child, then it might be worth the risk. 

[El Barto]

Just asking... what kind of car?  Rebuilds can be expensive, but for many cars, you can get a replacement transmission from a junkyard for a fraction of that cost.  If you know a mechanic that can install it... there's risk in that the replacement could blow up in a month too, but if this isn't the daily for your wife to transport your newborn child, then it might be worth the risk.

I'd definitely look into going this route.

It's just a really shitty time to own a car right now.

[TAC]

Tell me about it, as I'm paying for a big brake job today.

[lordxizor]

Just asking... what kind of car?  Rebuilds can be expensive, but for many cars, you can get a replacement transmission from a junkyard for a fraction of that cost.  If you know a mechanic that can install it... there's risk in that the replacement could blow up in a month too, but if this isn't the daily for your wife to transport your newborn child, then it might be worth the risk. 

It's a barebones 2008 Saturn Vue. A mediocre vehicle at best to begin with. It will eventually be my son's car once he needs his own vehicle. I'll ask about putting in a used transmission. Not a bad idea

[King Postwhore]

My brother told me that He's having major issues with his insurance company.  My nephew has a Farby's disease.  Here's what it affects.

Fabry disease is a rare X-linked lysosomal disorder that results in excessive deposition of lipids in the tissues. Young patients usually present with stroke, skin lesions, heart attack, or renal failure. Once the diagnosis is made, an interprofessional approach is vital.

My nephew was the youngest every in the United State to get diagnosed with it.  The insurance is double dipping into the copay assistance program that the drug companies give to help with these expensive drugs. (My nephew has to get infusions every other week the rest of his life.  So as they dip in the assistance, it make my brother have to pay the deductible of $4000.00.

Do we ever hear Dems or Reps talking about how expensive health care is these days?  I remember when there was no deductibles.  Now there 7 which you never hit.

[TAC]

Wow Joe, that is awful for your nephew. Gut wrenching.

[King Postwhore]

Big business stomping one us.  It's so expensive these days. It pisses me off. I hate that our medical is run by profit.  I remember fighting with being denied when the hospital coded something wrong.  You'd think the insurance and the hospital could work together to fix it but no.  I had to do the leg work while telling the insurance every day to fuck off. I wasn't paying the bills until this was fixed.

[jingle.boy]

Wow Joe, that is awful for your nephew. Gut wrenching.

Just a kick in the gut to read this, let alone be parenting it, let alone be living it.  I just can't even

[cramx3]

Wow Joe, that is awful for your nephew. Gut wrenching.

Just a kick in the gut to read this, let alone be parenting it, let alone be living it.  I just can't even

Yeah, wow, that disease sounds like potentially the worse thing. And then it's amazing, there's actually a medicine that can keep you alive?  Oh but it's unaffordable.  Well, aint that fucking garbage. Can't imagine being in that situation.  Sorry for your family.

[King Postwhore]

The most gut wrenching part was my nephew heard.  He ask, "Are they going to kill me?"

My brother broke down hearing that. That's why I'm so pissed off right now.

[gmillerdrake]

Wow Joe, that is awful for your nephew. Gut wrenching.

Just a kick in the gut to read this, let alone be parenting it, let alone be living it.  I just can't even

Yep....I can't imagine having to navigate that.

[ProfessorPeart]

One of the reasons I have weathered the storm at my employer. Being that it is a large Chicago hospital system, I have pretty stellar insurance. With my family's issues, I need it. Even then, the price goes up every year, the deductible tends to go up and the out of pocket tends to go up. If I stray out of my employer's system, everything goes way up. For the most part, everything is a simple copy of $10 or $25 to see a doctor and $100 to stay in the hospital. Not sure where I would be financially if weren't for my coverage.

I can't imagine going through what that kid is going to have to go through. Just terrible to hear.

[ganpondorodf]

US healthcare system is pure, unadulterated evil

[jingle.boy]

US healthcare system is pure, unadulterated evil

Indeed.  It's not Healthcare... it's Healthbusiness.

[King Postwhore]

US healthcare system is pure, unadulterated evil

Indeed.  It's not Healthcare... it's Healthbusiness.

25 years ago it wasn't but it was the beginnings of where we are now.

I had no deductibles and 100% coverage. Now, I can't track anything. And now,  neither side is doing anything to help.

[Grappler]

St. Patrick's Day Parade in the neighboring town.

I dropped off my daughter and wife (they were walking in the parade) and my son and I parked and found a spot to sit.  We were in the downtown area of the town.  We were an hour early, so we put our camping chairs right on the rope line that lined the street and sat.  Just as the parade turned the corner of the street, more and more kids pushed past our chairs and crowded right next to us - middle school aged kids.  Zero respect for the fact that we had been sitting in our spot for an hour.  As the parade carried on, these kids were pushing against the rope line and had actually moved it 5 feet from its original spot, forming a bubble in the line.  Then that bubble moved to about 10 feet into the street.  The kids were 1-2 feet (arm's length) from the parade participants and vehicles. 

The kids were fighting for candy so hard, that they would catch the handful tossed at them, then step sideways (into my son and some other little girl) to try and catch the handful that was thrown in their direction.  Basically double dipping.  I put my hands on one kid's shoulders and told him to let my son get some candy.

When my wife walked by with the girl scout troop, she said it was like a scene from The Walking Dead, where zombies are pushing against a door that is bulging.  The rope line holding the crowd was pulsating and moving with kids and parents trying to get closer to the participants.  I took a few pictures and emailed them to the village when we got home, asking them to review crowd control for future years.  My wife didn't feel safe walking down that street, and I didn't like my son and other kids being that close. 

While I think the village was not expecting the heavy turnout of people, the sad thing is that the parents were so busy pounding green beer from the brewery on the street (that opened at 11am) and as they were drinking, they were encouraging their kids forward and forward.  No lie - my son and I went into the place to use the restroom before the parade, and it was packed - the line for the bar was nearly out the door, about 40-50 people deep.

[Grappler]

My 8 year old daughter had a very bad day at school.  We got an email after school saying that she was leaving in a bad mood because of XYZ.  Basically, her anxiety ramped up because of a number of variables - didn't eat her lunch, was nervous about making up standardized testing and other work she missed from two days out sick, etc. 

I finally got tired of what I feel are nit-picky emails from her teachers and questioned whether they are really in her corner or not, because every time there is an email sent home, it seems like they make her out to be an instigator.  They pushed back hard, and while I relented and apologized, I also said that I do need to advocate for her.

My daughter had a good morning today, wrote an apology letter to her teacher, and had a good morning.  They finally asked her WHY she was so upset yesterday and she admitted to them that a boy said to her:

I wish you weren't alive.


FUCK.  I read that and my heart rate sped up and I just felt that primal, dad-rage mode build up.  Kids will be kids and I understand that we've all heard shit like that, growing up and even as adults.  But when you learn that someone said it to your own child, a part of you is instantly ready to go handle business and fuck someone up. 

[Harmony]

They finally asked her WHY she was so upset yesterday and she admitted to them that a boy said to her:

I wish you weren't alive.


FUCK.  I read that and my heart rate sped up and I just felt that primal, dad-rage mode build up.  Kids will be kids and I understand that we've all heard shit like that, growing up and even as adults.  But when you learn that someone said it to your own child, a part of you is instantly ready to go handle business and fuck someone up.

I hear you.  But 9/10 times that crap is because of that child's parents raising that kid to think this is ok to say to someone.

Not my place, but if it were me?  I'd be calling for a meeting with that kid's parents and the school principle - and the school counselor if you've got one.  I bet you anything that kid has something shitty going on at home and he's bullying others because he's being abused and/or neglected at home.  I'd also wager that your child isn't the only victim.

But your child might be embarrassed by this - deep down it is important for her to see that you will be going to the mat for her.

[Stadler]

^^^ That hit close to home for me.  Watching my youngest step son grow and grow through school with autism has been one of the more eye-opening experiences of my life.    My dad was handicapped, so I'm sort of used to the "blindness" people have to that, but my dad was a genius, and mentally as sharp as a tack so he could fight back or not as the case may be.  My step son literally thinks differently than I do (or even the rest of his family).  It's been an eye-opener, especially when it comes to jokes and things like that.  I'm a jokey person.  I like to crack wise, and I'd much rather make someone laugh and feel at ease than anything else.  That doesn't work with my step son, always.  I have to be very clear with him when I'm joking, when I'm being hyperbolic, when I'm being facetious.   

We live in a very, VERY hyperbolic, facetious world today.  Everything is "super this" and "uber that", and we use absolute terms like "terrifying" and "dystopian" and they have taken on these practical meanings beyond the literal. 

This is all to say that whether that kid meant it literally or as a barb, or a dig, IT DOESN'T MATTER.  My stepson would not necessarily have been able to parse how it was meant, and it would have hurt him.  And I understand your reaction to that, ESPECIALLY when it comes to the teachers and staff.  I don't expect teachers to treat everyone with kid gloves, but the school staff presumably KNOWS about kids like your daughter and my stepson.   They KNOW.   So why do they not do everything in their power to help them be better the next day than they were today?  I get teaching is tough, but you signed up for that.  That's your JOB. 

[Grappler]

They finally asked her WHY she was so upset yesterday and she admitted to them that a boy said to her:

I wish you weren't alive.


FUCK.  I read that and my heart rate sped up and I just felt that primal, dad-rage mode build up.  Kids will be kids and I understand that we've all heard shit like that, growing up and even as adults.  But when you learn that someone said it to your own child, a part of you is instantly ready to go handle business and fuck someone up.

I hear you.  But 9/10 times that crap is because of that child's parents raising that kid to think this is ok to say to someone.

Not my place, but if it were me?  I'd be calling for a meeting with that kid's parents and the school principle - and the school counselor if you've got one.  I bet you anything that kid has something shitty going on at home and he's bullying others because he's being abused and/or neglected at home.  I'd also wager that your child isn't the only victim.

But your child might be embarrassed by this - deep down it is important for her to see that you will be going to the mat for her.

I had that moment with her last night, before I knew some kid said that to her.  She had her bad day at school and I was irritated enough to send the teachers a message in response to theirs.  I told my daughter - "i'm going to stick up for you, but you have to cool down NOW and do the homework that they gave you."  When she knew I was sticking up for her, her attitude completely changed and she let go of her anger and was compliant with us.

As for the other kid, the school is chalking it up to typical kid things - my daughter was correcting him, either telling him to stand still or stay in line and the kid responded with a nasty line to her. 

^^^ That hit close to home for me.  Watching my youngest step son grow and grow through school with autism has been one of the more eye-opening experiences of my life.    My dad was handicapped, so I'm sort of used to the "blindness" people have to that, but my dad was a genius, and mentally as sharp as a tack so he could fight back or not as the case may be.  My step son literally thinks differently than I do (or even the rest of his family).  It's been an eye-opener, especially when it comes to jokes and things like that.  I'm a jokey person.  I like to crack wise, and I'd much rather make someone laugh and feel at ease than anything else.  That doesn't work with my step son, always.  I have to be very clear with him when I'm joking, when I'm being hyperbolic, when I'm being facetious.   

We live in a very, VERY hyperbolic, facetious world today.  Everything is "super this" and "uber that", and we use absolute terms like "terrifying" and "dystopian" and they have taken on these practical meanings beyond the literal. 

This is all to say that whether that kid meant it literally or as a barb, or a dig, IT DOESN'T MATTER.  My stepson would not necessarily have been able to parse how it was meant, and it would have hurt him.  And I understand your reaction to that, ESPECIALLY when it comes to the teachers and staff.  I don't expect teachers to treat everyone with kid gloves, but the school staff presumably KNOWS about kids like your daughter and my stepson.   They KNOW.   So why do they not do everything in their power to help them be better the next day than they were today?  I get teaching is tough, but you signed up for that.  That's your JOB. 

To be fair, my daughter brings some of this stuff on herself, through her emotions and behavior.  And when she gets in a mood, she doesn't always respond to the teachers and tell them what's wrong, so it's on her.  That being said, I still want to go pound the kid that said that - it's just unnecessary.  Sadly, this is only 3rd grade and we'll have a long ride - my daughter has to eventually learn that she has to try hard to not show her emotions at school and just go with the flow.  If she could have a cooler head, then the other kids wouldn't needle her for a reaction.  You're right though - the school does know about her anxiety and emotions, and she has been better over the last few months.  We had a GREAT parent-teacher conference where they all praised her, contrary to the fall, when they were very critical of her.  She just had a shitty day, where every trigger of hers was pushed.  I'm tired of the teacher emails saying "she did this, she did that."  Why don't you tell me "she did this, and we did that to help?"   

[El Barto]

It seems the enshitification of rewards programs continues unabated. I've noticed a new trend that's popped up a couple of times this year. In the past having a membership, and better still a co-branded credit card, insured you'd get the best rate. It was in the hotel/airline's best interest to pocket the money directly. Now it's spun the other way. In the case of AA, they'll no longer sell basic economy flights directly. You can only book them through a travel site like Expedia. Of course that means you get none of the perks your membership should afford. I can book through Expedia and pay $269 and get none of my perks, or I can book through AA for $420 and get a free checked bag, priority boarding, more points, and free seat selection. Basically they're selling their free stuff now.

Had this pop up with Marriott a couple of months ago. The only way to book directly with them and get the 3x points was to pay more money and not get a free breakfast, vs a much better deal with Expedia. Again, they've found a way to sell their free stuff. I stayed a La Quinta that night.

Sports fans might have seen a commercial in the last year regarding legislation to "help save small businesses!" It's something being pushed forward by Best Buy, Home Depot, and other big box store allowing "choice" in credit card processors. They want to stop having to pay the ~2-3% cc processing fees, and naturally "they'll pass the savings along to us." In reality they'll pocket the money and credit card perks will simply go away. I reckon that what we're seeing now is companies that rely on loyalty rewards preparing for this.

Sometimes I'll stand on principle and sometimes I won't. Shit like this is definitely the former, and I'm more inclined to just skip the whole deal than play in a crooked game.

[cramx3]

It seems the enshitification of rewards programs continues unabated. I've noticed a new trend that's popped up a couple of times this year. In the past having a membership, and better still a co-branded credit card, insured you'd get the best rate. It was in the hotel/airline's best interest to pocket the money directly. Now it's spun the other way. In the case of AA, they'll no longer sell basic economy flights directly. You can only book them through a travel site like Expedia. Of course that means you get none of the perks your membership should afford. I can book through Expedia and pay $269 and get none of my perks, or I can book through AA for $420 and get a free checked bag, priority boarding, more points, and free seat selection. Basically they're selling their free stuff now.

This is part of the reason why I will be somewhat happy when all my travel perks go away after this year (since my work travel has mostly stopped).  I've felt a bit tied to United and IHG because I've had their highest level of status and having the perks that go along with that.  It's great generally to have those perks, but I did notice over time that I could probably save money booking through a different site or using a different brand, but my loyalty had kept me with the same ole same ole. I think these places have also lessoned the value of their own point system to the point where once again, a better deal is more worthy than collecting points that don't hold value. 

[El Barto]

This is part of the reason why I will be somewhat happy when all my travel perks go away after this year (since my work travel has mostly stopped).  I've felt a bit tied to United and IHG because I've had their highest level of status and having the perks that go along with that.  It's great generally to have those perks, but I did notice over time that I could probably save money booking through a different site or using a different brand, but my loyalty had kept me with the same ole same ole. I think these places have also lessoned the value of their own point system to the point where once again, a better deal is more worthy than collecting points that don't hold value.

I'm not married to any hotel brand, and I'll only collect the points when it's a decent value. However, I am married to AA since DFW is their biggest hub. They basically fly everywhere nonstop 10 times a day, and more often than not have the best fares. Funny thing about United is that I always check them, too, as I can convert my Ultimate Rewards points to them 1:1, and they don't seem to fly anywhere nonstop. Every flight is 7-8 hours.

As for points, I'm not sure how it'll play out. If this causes points to become harder to accrue then they might become more valuable. The airlines have been devaluing them every year for a while now. I wouldn't mind seeing them return some value. For my part I just got an 80k signup bonus for the Citi AA card, and as soon as I hit the spending threshold for them I'll do the same with the Barclay's card. I have a hunch this might be the end of the big signup bonuses.

[cramx3]

As for points, I'm not sure how it'll play out. If this causes points to become harder to accrue then they might become more valuable. The airlines have been devaluing them every year for a while now. I wouldn't mind seeing them return some value. For my part I just got an 80k signup bonus for the Citi AA card, and as soon as I hit the spending threshold for them I'll do the same with the Barclay's card. I have a hunch this might be the end of the big signup bonuses.

If you are paying a premium to earn points, they better become more valuable.  But I'm just struggling to see it make sense for the average flyer.  The frequent flyer, probably especially if work is paying for it.  United is my main hub in Newark so I likely won't ditch them completely, but I can see myself using those deal sites for vacation packages that I would never consider because I've been a point whore for the last 10 years. 

[chknptpie]

The latest Jon Stewart Daily Show episode just kinda brushed this subject. He had the FTC Chairperson on.
https://youtu.be/oaDTiWaYfcM?si=Bm9np_f319RnEZr6&t=682

[Grappler]

I feel like I've been keeping this thread alive lately. 

Sunday - The Easter Bunny brings my daughter a kids-MP3 player.  She's been asking for one a lot and has really been getting into music.

Monday/Tuesday - brings it to school to listen to while on the bus ride home, keeps it in her locker.  Shows a few kids her new prized possession. 

Wednesday - puts the MP3 player on the top shelf of her locker, with the headphones plugged in.  At dismissal, the player was gone and only the headphones remained.  Her teachers (and us parents) determined that it was likely another student took the device.  Whoever it was would have had to unplug the headphones.  Daughter is completely distraught and I was STEAMING mad.

Thursday - Principal calls, said he looked through HOURS of security camera footage and saw that another student took the device from her locker.  He retrieved it from her.  Student has consequences, including having to personally apologize to my daughter and hand it back.  Happy ending, but I was incredibly angry for about 20 hours.  I hated that she had to go through that experience, but she learned that things have to be less visible to protect them from being stolen.

[TAC]

That would piss me off to no end.

[wolfking]

Always astounding that children/people just take something of someone else's without any regard or care whatsoever, WTF?!

[King Postwhore]

That kid's parents should ground that kid to infinity.

[El Barto]

I feel like I've been keeping this thread alive lately. 

Sunday - The Easter Bunny brings my daughter a kids-MP3 player.  She's been asking for one a lot and has really been getting into music.

Monday/Tuesday - brings it to school to listen to while on the bus ride home, keeps it in her locker.  Shows a few kids her new prized possession. 

Wednesday - puts the MP3 player on the top shelf of her locker, with the headphones plugged in.  At dismissal, the player was gone and only the headphones remained.  Her teachers (and us parents) determined that it was likely another student took the device.  Whoever it was would have had to unplug the headphones.  Daughter is completely distraught and I was STEAMING mad.

Thursday - Principal calls, said he looked through HOURS of security camera footage and saw that another student took the device from her locker.  He retrieved it from her.  Student has consequences, including having to personally apologize to my daughter and hand it back.  Happy ending, but I was incredibly angry for about 20 hours.  I hated that she had to go through that experience, but she learned that things have to be less visible to protect them from being stolen.

When I was in school, had that happened to me the principle would have just said "you shouldn't have brought it to school in the first place. Next time don't be such a dumbass." Hell, my high school vice principle would have given me two weeks detention for it.

Also, while I'm glad it helped to get your kid's property bag, it saddens me that everything kids do in school now is captured on video. Being a kid nowadays must really suck ass.

[ReaperKK]

This is part of the reason why I will be somewhat happy when all my travel perks go away after this year (since my work travel has mostly stopped).  I've felt a bit tied to United and IHG because I've had their highest level of status and having the perks that go along with that.  It's great generally to have those perks, but I did notice over time that I could probably save money booking through a different site or using a different brand, but my loyalty had kept me with the same ole same ole. I think these places have also lessoned the value of their own point system to the point where once again, a better deal is more worthy than collecting points that don't hold value. 

My wife travels something like 40 weeks a year and has status with AA, Marriott and Hilton and she constantly talks about how the points she earns are worse and worse. Barto she literally brought up the AA thing just last night when looking to book a flight

[Jamesman42]

When I was in school, had that happened to me the principle would have just said "you shouldn't have brought it to school in the first place. Next time don't be such a dumbass." Hell, my high school vice principle would have given me two weeks detention for it.

Also, while I'm glad it helped to get your kid's property bag, it saddens me that everything kids do in school now is captured on video. Being a kid nowadays must really suck ass.

I am so glad my school has a zero tolerance policy for phones. Until you are out the doors and outside, no phones. Kids don't have to be distracted by them, but another thing I remembered reading your post, they don't have to worry that they're being filmed for bullying reasons while in school. Having worked in schools where every kid was on their phone all day, it's a stark difference.

[Stadler]

When I was in school, had that happened to me the principle would have just said "you shouldn't have brought it to school in the first place. Next time don't be such a dumbass." Hell, my high school vice principle would have given me two weeks detention for it.

Also, while I'm glad it helped to get your kid's property bag, it saddens me that everything kids do in school now is captured on video. Being a kid nowadays must really suck ass.

That LITERALLY happened to me; I brought an arrow head I found in the woods and BAM! it was gone.  According to the faculty, it was a "lesson learned" (which, of course, they were right).

But given that it IS on video - also share Bart's lament on that, by the way - but I have to say: "personally apologizing" and "giving it back" are not "consequences".  I don't mean to say that kid should do jail time, but that down side is to pretend it didn't happen.  It's not "school rules" to not take something that doesn't belong to you.  The consequences, IMO, should have been harsher.  You know, a DETERRENT.

Speaking of, I'm brewing a post and have been for a week or so, about the level to which we are "observed" in our society.  It has, to my estimation, noticeably changed how people behave.  I'll write more when I get my thoughts together.

[TAC]

But given that it IS on video - also share Bart's lament on that, by the way - but I have to say: "personally apologizing" and "giving it back" are not "consequences".  I don't mean to say that kid should do jail time, but that down side is to pretend it didn't happen.  It's not "school rules" to not take something that doesn't belong to you.  The consequences, IMO, should have been harsher.  You know, a DETERRENT.

I don't remember the age of Grapp's daughter, but at that age, a personal apology could be appropriate. Other than being an opportunistic thief, it's possible they actually were sorry.

Speaking of, I'm brewing a post and have been for a week or so, about the level to which we are "observed" in our society.  It has, to my estimation, noticeably changed how people behave.  I'll write more when I get my thoughts together.

Looking forward to this.