I used to feel like I not only wanted to, but society was steering me to be a traditional american couple. Met the girl in college, dated for many years, bought a house together, got engaged, invested my money into our future... thought my life was going down the path of most married couples and living "the american dream" until it all came crashing down. "man plans, god laughs"
yea that.
I have such a different outlook on life now. I no longer feel the need to have a relationship that will lead to anything. I'd rather focus on being happy NOW than try and figure out a way to force a relationship down my throat, which looking back, is exactly what I did. My past relationship was forced, not just by me, but by her as well. We both just got to a point where even though we were unhappy, we were continuing going through the motions because I know I felt like that's what not only was expected of me from society (family, friends), but also because I think I was forcing the idea on myself that I need to get married and live the typical life. I couldn't see myself doing anything else. Until it got to the breaking point that is.
Now, I don't feel any pressure to succumb to any lifestyle that people think I should be living, fuck that. I enjoy my life a million times more now that I "do what I want" (within reason of course). I do feel that if I were to find the right person I would fall into a typical couple lifestyle, but I need the right person and to that point, as seen in this thread before, I've become very picky and has lead me to break up with almost every single girl I have dated. But that is because I am not going to settle for anything but happiness. I will keep searching for that person, but it's not my goal. I don't go into any date thinking "I hope she is the one" I have more of the mindset "I hope we have fun and if so, then we will see where it goes" (and I don't mean that in only a sexual way). It also bothers me when I meet a woman and she says or implies something to make me feel like she is deliberately searching for "the one" because I feel like that's forcing the issue and would potentially lead to getting stuck in the same place I was 2 years ago.
Anyway, I've noticed I completely stopped talking to the other girls I was chatting with and have been focusing in on only this one girl from my tinder success story. I'm just really digging this girl. She was drinking last night so I got a few drunk texts of really nice things which was cool because she kind of opened up about being shy with saying anything along the lines of "i like you" so while her actions were showing it, it's also nice to hear (or read) it from her. We have a date tomorrow night, and I think next week I will be in the city for a work event and we will meet up after so our distance issue, for now, seems to be working. We also talked about her coming out and spending a weekend with me in Jersey. I am really excited to see her again.