Welp, I'm getting a "new" car tomorrow. I was hoping to take it home yesterday, but there are too many moving pieces and third parties to deal with on a Saturday.
I ended up buying the CX-50 Meridian Edition with 7,000 miles on it, the one that was used for demos and loans. Negotiation on the car itself was basically non-existent, a first in the five cars I've purchased in my lifetime. The dealer had the original window sheet from when it was new, and the price on it was $44,600. They had it on the lot for $34,500K, and it was established very early on, before they even looked at my trade-in, that that price wasn't going to budge a dollar. It was a completely fair price (what I would have tried to get had it been priced higher), and after some hemin' and hawin', did manage to get an extra $1200 on my trade.
Because it's a certified pre-owned, the bumper-to-bumper warranty is extended out to 4Y/48K miles, and the powertrain warranty is good for 7Y/100K miles. That's more than I originally thought, so I'm happy there.
The only thing I'm a bit bummed about is it's got the base 8 speaker sound system instead of the 12 speaker Bose. I hope in the future I don't find myself wanting. Turns out it did come with the platform on top. The initial pics on the website showed it without it.
The thing drives like hell, too. I'm going to be tinting the front windows and blacking out all the badges on the back immediately.