I actually haven't had a job in over a year, so my spending is super limited these days. I get pretty much all of my new music through Spotify, which costs me $10/month, and that's almost all I spend on music. I used to buy deluxe/special editions for all my favorite bands when I was working, but these days I pretty much only do it with TDH. I don't even get the super crazy deluxe DT stuff anymore. But that doesn't make me feel like any less of a fan.
I think to some extent I can kind of see your point about the deluxe editions, because it creates that feeling of "something really cool is available that I can't have!"... but I think it's pretty unrealistic to expect any band to just stop making super/crazy/deluxe versions just because only a small portion of their fanbase will be able to spend the money on them. I think that's actually kind of the point... it's more about giving something extra to fans who can/will spend a few extra bucks on them, rather than any attempt to exclude fans who can't/won't pay for them. Porcupine Tree/Steven Wilson is another great example. That dude seems to have crazy expensive ultra mega super duper versions of everything he does. I did buy the deluxe version of The Incident years ago... but I've never bought any of the other deluxe versions of anything, but that doesn't mean I feel like I'm not a good enough fan, and I have no problem with him putting these things out for the people who do want to buy them.
And as far as the TDH stuff... you're definitely not the only one with the "standard" editions. Far from it. Just looking at their Facebook page, they have about 60,000 fans, and I'm sure there are many other fans who haven't actually bothered to "like" them on FB, but for argument's sake, let's just say that represents the entire fan base. The TCS vinyl had 1,000 copies available, which would mean less than 2% of fans actually have them. 98% of the fan base only has the "standard" version. Branches was only available to Lifetime members, and there are only 250 of us. So that's less than 0.5%. At least 99.5% of their fans are not lifetime members and don't have access to this.
One other thing to keep in mind is that this is how these people make a living. And it's increasingly difficult to actually make a sustainable living as a musician these days. Bands need to do whatever they can to just simply survive so they can keep making music. I think that's a big part of why these deluxe packages are becoming more popular. Just to use TDH as an example again - I don't know exactly how much Casey makes from the band, but I know it isn't a lot. At the start of the band's career Casey was literally homeless... for many years they couldn't afford rooms while on tour, so they would just ask fans if anybody had an extra bed or couch or floorspace, and when that failed they would just sleep in their vans (and I think to some extent they still do that). Right around the time TCS came out, I was chatting with Casey and he mentioned that he had about $70 in his bank account. And whatever little money he does make, most of it gets channeled right back into the band. TCS is a perfect example - the record label didn't have any faith in it and refused to advance any money for it, so Casey funded the entire project himself, using the Lifetime member money and his own funds (Triple Crown eventually agreed to distribute it, but only after it was completely finished). I don't know if the band income provides him with enough to even live on - whenever he isn't doing TDH stuff he's working for other bands doing production work. And all of the other band members have at least one other band they work with and I know a couple still also have day jobs when they aren't on tour. So as far as I'm concerned, anything they can do to make it easier for them to focus on TDH exclusively is just fine with me.