The pathetic facebook status thread.

[Ultimetalhead]

I swear I will lose my mind if I have this chick on my Facebook for another second, and yet, I can't take her off. It would deprive my evening of things to rage about. Here's every status she's posted today. One thing to keep in mind, she's 18, and engaged. (YEs, this is the PRAGANET girl)

Lysa: "LOVE MY HUBBY'S MOM SHE COOKS REALLY GOODDDDDD FOOD!!!!! HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! FINGER LICKING GOOD!!"
Liked by, Lysa
Comment by, Lysa: "who said we need napkins when mother in-laws cook"

Lysa: "hey my friend Jonathan ____ from Sandusky is looking for a girlfreind with this cartera kinda chubby, white, brunnete or black hair, very nice, loving , loves hugs, likes old rock ACDC metallica, and drag racing comment back if intrested or add him on facebook"
No like
Comment by Katie: Tell him I said what's up lol
Comment by Lysa: i did add him
Comment by Katie: What's his profile look like (I like how you took the trouble to use and apostrophe but not a question mark)
Comment by Lysa: he added u its road runner (Road Runner is the guy's profile picture, if this wasn't clear)
Comment by Lysa: he said ur really pretty
Comment by Jonathan (the guy who fails so hard with women that he needs a psychotic girl on Facebook to do it for him): hi Katie please add me!!!
Comment by Lysa: PLZ DATE

Lysa: "FREE MATCH MAKING SERVICE JUST HIT ME UP"

Lysa: "anyone want a kitten hit me up"

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the reason murder should be legal.

[orcus116]

I love how the first thing she says about him in her pitch was "kinda chubby".

[Chino]

I hit her up for match making.

[Ultimetalhead]

I hit her up for match making.

Wait, really? Because that would be about the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen if she posted a status asking who all these people were. 

[Chino]

I hit her up for match making.

Wait, really? Because that would be about the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen if she posted a status asking who all these people were. 

I will

[SPNKr]

I deleted like 40 friends two days ago, down to 16 now. It feels awesome!

[Chino]

[Gadough]

I lol'd. That happens so often that it doesn't annoy me anymore. It's just funny.

[Gorille85]

 

[Ultimetalhead]

Well, this is officially my place where I'm going to update the masses with this insane bitches shenanigans. If I have to suffer through it, so do you.

Most recently, she's been posting a slew of wall posts asking people if they're single. Most messages read "Hey u single ive got a guy for u".

Now, look at the criteria again. WHERE IN THE HELL DO PEOPLE GET OFF DOING THINGS LIKE THAT?

[SPNKr]

Ask her if she believes in forced marriage.

[Fuzzboy]

Not pathetic, but funny:

Tony P likes "Joanna Newsom" and "Meshuggah"

[sonatafanica]

Yay another Joanna Newsom fan!

[Gadough]

man im so fuckin bored, i guess when u got no license, no job, no ps3, and no green there aint really shit to do, oh yeah i am the only who thinks Tv today sucks ass? Like this if u agree, if not i really don't give a shit either way, real shit.

[Gorille85]

Not pathetic but awesome:

Fuck l'université, ŕ partir de maintenant je suis Louis XIV

It means:

Fuck university, from now on I am Louis XIV

[Ultimetalhead]

Well, folks, it's the moment you've all been waiting for, LYSA!! This one is a doozy. This is Lysa bitching about a relative of her fiance's. The fiance jumps in and turns this into complete facepalm. This is something that just doesn't need to be put on a public website. Remember, these two are 18.

"Why do people think thee can control someone there not related to only by marriage. WELL THEY CAN'T SO STOP TRYING TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Andrew: and i know exactly who tha hell that person is

Lysa: tell the world?

Andrew: want me to cuz i can...

Lysa: yep YOU DONT LOVE YOUR BROTHER BECAUSE YOU CANT RESPECT US AND THATS INCLUDING ME. FOR THIS YOUR NOT THE AUNT OF MY DAUGHTER, I NEVER WANT YOU AROUND MY KIDS EVER. WE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MONEY OR HELP YOU FINANCIALLY
FORGET IT, DO NOT ASK US FOR SHIT. YOUR BROTHER ESPECIALLY WILL NOT HELP YOU AND HE HAS ALREADY SAID THAT. SO WHY DONT YOU GO SMOKE SOME MORE DRUGS AND DROP OUT OF SCHOOL SINCE THATS WHERE YOUR HEADED...NO WHERE IN LIFE AS LONG AS YOUR WITH ANDREW.

Andrew: ok hey everybody its (name removed because she's probably relatively normal) and she is only mad because she aint loved by lysa in which i dont blame her...all (name) wants to do is run her shyt talking mouth about me...she seys she dont like me or cant stand lysa being with me,,,well news flash bitch if ya dont like me thats kewl then tha least u cud do is keep my name out ur damn mouth,,,AM I RIGHT PEOPLES....

Lysa: YEP BABY UR RIGHT (Liked by the fiance)

Andrew: its not my fault she cant stand things,,,its her problem and if i have to get brought upon this then i know for a fact that she will not want to sey my name again because ill make her shut tha fukk up real quick

Thankfully, that's as far as it's gone so far.

BUT WAIT THERE'S ANOTHER ONE I MISSED.

"is it bad if around ur eyes look orangish"
Nick (Not normal, but normal compared to her): I'd probably go to the doctor and not ask the facebook world. But that's just coming from somebody with common sense.

Lysa: thanks well i hate doctors

[Gorille85]

Oh god

[Fuzzboy]

[ClairvoyantCat]

Wait, so Andrew is her fiance's brother? 

[Ultimetalhead]

No. Andrew IS her fiance.

[ClairvoyantCat]

Ok, I can barely understand a single sentence. 

I guess when you use Facebook you adapt to reading this kind of writing? 

[Ultimetalhead]

Yeah, sort of. It's like learning a new language.

[Gadough]

man im so fuckin bored, i guess when u got no license, no job, no ps3, and no green there aint really shit to do, oh yeah i am the only who thinks Tv today sucks ass? Like this if u agree, if not i really don't give a shit either way, real shit.

man what's with gasstations were u gotta have pic id to get a gar or dip can i mean i wudn't mind but dem pigs took my license when i got my 2nd DWI and im not gonna get a new id till i can drive, ppl these dayz man theyre fuckin robotic.

[ClairvoyantCat]

Like this if u agree, if not i really don't give a shit either way, real shit.

This kind of made my laugh

[Pyroph]

NO WHERE IN LIFE AS LONG AS YOUR WITH ANDREW

wat

[Chino]

NOT PATHETIC 

[Sigz]

man im so fuckin bored, i guess when u got no license, no job, no ps3, and no green there aint really shit to do, oh yeah i am the only who thinks Tv today sucks ass? Like this if u agree, if not i really don't give a shit either way, real shit.

man what's with gasstations were u gotta have pic id to get a gar or dip can i mean i wudn't mind but dem pigs took my license when i got my 2nd DWI and im not gonna get a new id till i can drive, ppl these dayz man theyre fuckin robotic.

 

[Fuzzboy]

"Pete F likes Dog Walking, Swimming, and Marijuana" 

[MetalManiac666]

In that order I'm assuming?

[Jamesman42]

In that order I'm assuming?

No, at the same time.

Hey, at least it wasn't "masturbating, cooking bacon, and taking hits of acid."

[lonestar]

Hey, at least it wasn't "masturbating, cooking bacon, and taking hits of acid."

Ahhh, the good old days.

[Jamesman42]

I'm sure you still do two of those things everyday, and the third every other day.

[lonestar]

I'm sure you still do two of those things everyday, and the third every other day.

Haven't done the third in twenty years, but yeah, your right on the first two counts.

[Chino]

[chknptpie]

Nicole:
wow, I am a huge ball of anxiety right now.
no, I don't wanna talk about it.
no, I don't want to hang out.
yes, I feel like a bitch right now.

      3 people like this.

            Danny ummm..

            Stefano ^you did talk about it

            Brodie balls

            Jason  I send you good juju.

            Falcon hehe why facebook it if you didn't wanna talk about it?

            Nicole i don't know lol