so i just turned 20. no more being a teenager.
it's probably the most fucking depressing thing that's ever happened to me.
so just a few minutes ago i got really down and decided to go take my dog for a walk. and i just started thinking about what being in my 20s means. and i started to think of all the people in their 20s that i know and they all seem to be so content. maybe apprehensive, but they're collected and happy people for the most part. like they've figured something out.
and then i took a look at what being a teenager was like. i tried to pick out the times when i was truly genuinely happy. and that was high school. i was so happy then. i had a job, i had bought my own car, i had hobbies and friends, and i had a goddamn girlfriend. isn't that fucking crazy? there was another person, another human being who said "love ya" to me every day. that's just fucking insane, how does that even exist?
anyway
and i started thinking about really changing my mindset. i'm a sad, sappy almost defeatist type and it's just really pathetic and depressing and no one wants to hear that shit, you know? just fucking get up and move along, nothing's that bad.
i dunno, i guess i've just had a life that's so uneventful and boring that it just ends up by default being shitty. like, whenever there's news in my life it's never good or anything, it's just that something has gone wrong or i've wasted a lot of time, effort, and money on something.
so yeah, i'm thinking about all this and thinking about changing my worldview. people with actual problems don't complain about shit as much as i do. i go another day being lonely and directionless in life and i mope around about it, but someone i know has a family member in the hospital and shit and they just deal with it. how fucking immature of me. my life isn't that bad that i need to be so down all the time. don't get me wrong, my life is still a boring amalgamation of unexciting events that have little or no consequence, but i have nothing to complain about. that's how i have to think from now on. good things happen. they do, you just have to stop being a pussy about everything and actually make an attempt to enjoy a day like a regular person. like an ADULT.
so just then, as my dog is sniffing a tree, a van pulls up and a guy says, "hey can you help us? we're lost, we're trying to find--" and the doors of the van open and a bunch of dudes just start pelting me with eggs and drive off.
tl;dr
i hate positive attitudes
i'm gonna hate shit until i die
fuck the police