Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread. (Read 255427 times)

Jamesman42 · « **Reply #840 on:** May 22, 2011, 03:31:34 PM »

Depressed...really depressed

Hoping I can make my bills this month. Things don't go as you plan.

I should be fine, but it's like a taunt at me in my mind, if I can survive the next few months. Once I get to September, I am set. It is July and August I am a bit worried about. Mostly August. I may some work lined up, but not set in stone. i really only need to make another $1500 on what I have now or will be making at my other jobs.

Just needed to vent.

JayOctavarium · « **Reply #841 on:** May 24, 2011, 02:00:55 AM »

So... still working on my anger issues. Earlier today, I lost it... and... well... i have this cool little wooden shelf that is now in a bunch of pieces... and a possible fracture in my wrist. Do to lack of insurance and too much pride, i will wait and see if it gets better before i get it checked out. The thing that pisses me off is it was my bowling hand. Usually, if i get mad enough to hit something (usually a bush or something along a sidewalk as i walk) i use my left hand. But i didnt think. FUCK

and I am waiting for a call from the county about seeing a therapist. because of all the shit going on with my dads death, The county will pay for any and all psych help I want / need. It is just a matter of waiting.

Dublagent66 · « **Reply #842 on:** May 24, 2011, 08:44:23 AM »

Well, there certainly is enough stupid shit in this world to be depressed and angry about, but I keep damage of personal property to a minimum. A little bit of drywall repair, that's about it. No flying glassware or controllers through tv screens or anything like that.

JayOctavarium · « **Reply #843 on:** May 26, 2011, 02:36:13 PM »

I fucking hate not knowing what there is to live for. Who to live for. I need a reason. I need to be needed somehow. I'm not suicidal. Just really fucking depressed. Really fucking Lonely.

xShammas · « **Reply #844 on:** May 26, 2011, 09:06:25 PM »

I've been out of my rut for a few weeks now finally. The keys (for me anyway), are music, exercise, friends (real friends, no one shady), and hope. The attitude matters so much more than you would think. Instead of thinking "Life sucks, I'm going nowhere", tell yourself how lucky you are just to be alive and cherish the things you do have. Everything heals and gets better eventually, it's just a matter of time.

Silver Tears · « **Reply #845 on:** May 27, 2011, 06:49:58 AM »

Quote from: xShammas on May 26, 2011, 09:06:25 PM

I've been out of my rut for a few weeks now finally. The keys (for me anyway), are music, exercise, friends (real friends, no one shady), and hope. The attitude matters so much more than you would think. Instead of thinking "Life sucks, I'm going nowhere", tell yourself how lucky you are just to be alive and cherish the things you do have. Everything heals and gets better eventually, it's just a matter of time.

PlaysLikeMyung · « **Reply #846 on:** May 28, 2011, 11:59:56 AM »

Ever have a point in your life where you're just like: "fuck the world"?

Yep. That's me

sonatafanica · « **Reply #847 on:** May 28, 2011, 12:17:48 PM »

we've all been teenagers

JosephAOI · « **Reply #848 on:** May 28, 2011, 10:46:06 PM »

For the past year and a half to two years or so, me and my mom and sister have been struggling to find the money to get by after my parents got a divorce. My asshole dad won't help us out financially whatsoever because he doesn't think it's his problem at all. In November, my mom, sister and I were evicted from our house and had to live with friends till mid February when we finally got a duplex (that we're living in now). My dad is also living in a duplex with my other 3 year old sister and is doing more than well for himself. Here though, we're behind on almost every single bill (rent, electric, water, etc.) and my mom's gone through more than a few jobs trying to support us. What makes it all worse though is that my sister (who's 15) treats my mom like complete shit despite everything my mom does for her. And I, being a teenager and all as well, have personal problems like not being able to get this girl I really like (Who's two years older than me anyway), dealing with depression, struggling with school, and struggling with my guitar playing and musical career which I feel like isn't going anywhere a lot of times. All in all, I'm mostly worried about my mom's being okay (she has depression too) and us being to be in the same house with all the things we need to live. Sorry to rant about my problems and all but it seems like thats what this thread was for

lateralus88 · « **Reply #849 on:** May 29, 2011, 04:40:58 PM »

So I heard this is a thread where I can bitch and moan about my general depressive thoughts.

Sup.

MajorMatt · « **Reply #850 on:** June 05, 2011, 04:06:09 AM »

Quote from: lateralus88 on May 29, 2011, 04:40:58 PM

So I heard this is a thread where I can bitch and moan about my general depressive thoughts.

Sup.

Sup. *nods head in general direction*

lateralus88 · « **Reply #851 on:** June 05, 2011, 11:32:53 PM »

Has anyone here every just felt like fading off into obscurity? I don't know, it's a thought that's been crossing my mind a lot.

I feel less...human lately. I don't know how that makes any sense outside of my own thoughts, but it's how I feel.

black_biff_stadler · « **Reply #852 on:** June 05, 2011, 11:38:00 PM »

Quote from: lateralus88 on June 05, 2011, 11:32:53 PM

Has anyone here every just felt like fading off into obscurity? I don't know, it's a thought that's been crossing my mind a lot.

I feel less...human lately. I don't know how that makes any sense outside of my own thoughts, but it's how I feel.

You mean like laying low for a few months and being a little solitary to recharge your batteries or were you hinting at that?

lateralus88 · « **Reply #853 on:** June 05, 2011, 11:56:38 PM »

If by that you are implying suicide, no never no no no no no. I am strictly against the idea in every way possible. I've had experiences with it in the past. And the very idea of it still makes me distressed at least a little bit (and the idea of death as well. I mean, I used to have major issues with it as a child)

And I don't really know...what I mean is the weird part. I just...don't understand my existence. I mean, I know what I want to do, where I want to go, and everything like that. I just don't know what validates ANY of that. And sometimes I wonder if my loneliness is a catalyst for such thoughts, but fuck if I know.

I guess what I'm saying is I think about what not existing would be like. What it would be like to just disappear. Or to have not existed at all. Who it would affect and all that cliche shit. I mean, I have a hard enough time accepting that people give a shit about me sometimes. Comes with a lack of confidence and trust in people.

If ANY OF THAT makes sense at all.

Adami · « **Reply #854 on:** June 06, 2011, 12:00:08 AM »

What your feeling is perfectly normal. Go for a long walk, bring some music.

lateralus88 · « **Reply #855 on:** June 06, 2011, 12:03:26 AM »

That sounds lovely. But I have two group projects to do, am working all week and still have to write a paper.

Maybe once school is over.

I think what bothers me more though is this sense of not feeling human or like I feel I should feel like. It's that feeling that...I'm stuck in a place where I can hardly better myself or advance myself to the person I want to be while most people I know have already had so many experiences that I either missed out on or am just really late to the game.

Okay, now I'm just whining. brb sleep.

Adami · « **Reply #856 on:** June 06, 2011, 12:05:27 AM »

You're human. Trust me. You advance slowly but surely, you'll get where you're going eventually, just calm down and pay attention to the journey.

SPNKr · « **Reply #857 on:** June 06, 2011, 09:07:35 PM »

I used to feel alien or alienated a lot late last year so I can relate to Lat. I used to hate almost everyone I saw everyday and life just didn't feel right, but I met new people and ended up focusing on goals without realising. I guess with time you need to find where you are and what you're doing.

I think what fixed me up was new people coming into my class, being more outgoing because of the outgoing nature I'm around the quality of the people in my class. New teacher that knows her shit, that kind of thing. I think those things faded that crap I felt away.
Oh and here's some good advice, stop giving a fuck.

ricky · « **Reply #858 on:** June 06, 2011, 09:23:07 PM »

Quote from: SPNKr on June 06, 2011, 09:07:35 PM

Oh and here's some good advice, stop giving a fuck.

smart words from a very smart man.

hang in there lat, big nasty's got ur back.

Marvellous G · « **Reply #859 on:** June 08, 2011, 05:03:06 PM »

I've been feeling a lot like Lat has recently. I just feel kind of apathetic towards... everything. I know that's a classic symptom of depression, but I've been pretty damn depressed before and it's never felt like this. It's like, I realise that I'm not hugely happy at the minute, but I don't connect with it and feel sad per se. It's a pretty sucky feeling, as it's not even the 'I don't feel like doing anything' kind of apathy. I still love my music and my friends and family, but there's just something... missing.

I feel like a long walk late at night with some folk music would cure this pretty damn well, but my parents don't allow me out after dark and sneaking out isn't really an option, so I guess I'll just have to sit and let the thoughts fester.

JustJen · « **Reply #860 on:** June 08, 2011, 06:40:47 PM »

Yeah, I have no human interaction aside from internet and husband and three kids. My parents are both dead, my brothers live all over the place and have their own lives, and I haven't had an actual friend who I knew well enough to pick up a phone and call for about 20 years, aside from one person who lives hours away who I used to be close to but who ended up breaking every written and unwritten rule of friendship.

Not one friend. Not one family member.

For 20 years.

My life consists of dicking aruond on the internet, cleaning up after other people, and running errands.

Checkmate, thread.

Adami · « **Reply #861 on:** June 08, 2011, 06:43:54 PM »

Quote from: JustJen on June 08, 2011, 06:40:47 PM

Yeah, I have no human interaction aside from internet and husband and three kids. My parents are both dead, my brothers live all over the place and have their own lives, and I haven't had an actual friend who I knew well enough to pick up a phone and call for about 20 years, aside from one person who lives hours away who I used to be close to but who ended up breaking every written and unwritten rule of friendship.

Not one friend. Not one family member.

For 20 years.

My life consists of dicking aruond on the internet, cleaning up after other people, and running errands.

Checkmate, thread.

The only person I can really call is my mom. I have no friends in Chicago, no family here, no girlfriend or anything else. My life consists of dicking around on the internet.

lateralus88 · « **Reply #862 on:** June 09, 2011, 12:11:00 AM »

I think the worst part about me lately is that even with all of my friends and family, I don't feel comfortable fully venting this to them. I hint at it once in a while and kind of clue them in that I'm not happy. But there is something about that makes me think "Pffft, they probably just think I'm being a whiny bitch so shut up they aren't going to help". Wrong or not, that's how it processes in my head.

And yet, I know a lot of this is all in my head. Just as mentioned in the Gorillaz song Clint Eastwood "No squealing remember that it's all in your head". Insecurities and such.

I don't know, I feel like my depressed states of mind are a result of whatever this sense of loneliness is that I feel AND from constant self doubt (especially with my direction in life). Nothing I do in life at the moment feels fully validated, either.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoQYw49saqc

DarkEternalNight · « **Reply #863 on:** June 09, 2011, 01:08:03 AM »

Just read through the past few pages. Sending good vibes to everyone.

Marvellous G · « **Reply #864 on:** June 11, 2011, 02:39:01 PM »

Well I've sunk back into my first bout of being properly depressed since about a year ago. Great.

sonatafanica · « **Reply #865 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:10:13 PM »

so i just turned 20. no more being a teenager.

it's probably the most fucking depressing thing that's ever happened to me.

so just a few minutes ago i got really down and decided to go take my dog for a walk. and i just started thinking about what being in my 20s means. and i started to think of all the people in their 20s that i know and they all seem to be so content. maybe apprehensive, but they're collected and happy people for the most part. like they've figured something out.

and then i took a look at what being a teenager was like. i tried to pick out the times when i was truly genuinely happy. and that was high school. i was so happy then. i had a job, i had bought my own car, i had hobbies and friends, and i had a goddamn girlfriend. isn't that fucking crazy? there was another person, another human being who said "love ya" to me every day. that's just fucking insane, how does that even exist?

anyway

and i started thinking about really changing my mindset. i'm a sad, sappy almost defeatist type and it's just really pathetic and depressing and no one wants to hear that shit, you know? just fucking get up and move along, nothing's that bad.

i dunno, i guess i've just had a life that's so uneventful and boring that it just ends up by default being shitty. like, whenever there's news in my life it's never good or anything, it's just that something has gone wrong or i've wasted a lot of time, effort, and money on something.

so yeah, i'm thinking about all this and thinking about changing my worldview. people with actual problems don't complain about shit as much as i do. i go another day being lonely and directionless in life and i mope around about it, but someone i know has a family member in the hospital and shit and they just deal with it. how fucking immature of me. my life isn't that bad that i need to be so down all the time. don't get me wrong, my life is still a boring amalgamation of unexciting events that have little or no consequence, but i have nothing to complain about. that's how i have to think from now on. good things happen. they do, you just have to stop being a pussy about everything and actually make an attempt to enjoy a day like a regular person. like an ADULT.

so just then, as my dog is sniffing a tree, a van pulls up and a guy says, "hey can you help us? we're lost, we're trying to find--" and the doors of the van open and a bunch of dudes just start pelting me with eggs and drive off.

tl;dr

i hate positive attitudes

i'm gonna hate shit until i die

fuck the police

Ravenheart · « **Reply #866 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:23:48 PM »

I can empathize with you, Chris, even if I haven't hit 20 yet.

I compare myself to others and feel like I haven't accomplished anything in my life. Nothing. And whenever I feel like doing something big or really step it up, I just feel like, "why bother?" and go back to doing whatever pleasant but useless task I can use to fill my time with.

I can't really offer any advice. Just pursue with your art and your endeavors and hope that it will be worth it in the end. Ambition does pay off.

Sorry if none of this is really any consolation. I don't know what to say or offer, other than my empathy $:-\$

ZBomber · « **Reply #867 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:26:31 PM »

Chris, you have more going for you in life than most of us do.

You're like.... internet famous. I'm sure if those kids knew that you were a webcomic designer, they would have thought twice and you would have been pelted with twice the amount of eggs

sonatafanica · « **Reply #868 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:48:11 PM »

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ZBomber · « **Reply #869 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:51:30 PM »

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lonestar · « **Reply #870 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:52:00 PM »

Quote from: sonatafanica on June 11, 2011, 11:48:11 PM

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lateralus88 · « **Reply #871 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:52:44 PM »

You know Chris, I often feel something relatively similar. In fact, I thought about similar things during the walk I took today (which lately is a rare occurrence either due to busy schedules or Washington having shit weather. But today was beautiful out. So I said "Fuck it, let's take an evening stroll"). I also had a run in with jackasses on the way back home during my walk as well, but nothing nearly as severe. Just some dudes yelling "Fag!" as I was trying to enjoy a peaceful walk while listening to Ghost.

Which actually brought me to taking a brief thought. Why is it that while I'm just trying to take a moment to seek inner peace, someone has to interject and be a cockslap about it? I mean, I was just walking alone on a dark road at night. What am I doing that makes me a "fag"? I mean sure, I had my fair share of drive by yellings. And yes, it's a fairly teenage thing to do. I just don't quite get WHY.

Anyway, so back to depression. I walked by a park bench I remember cuddling with my ex on back well over a year ago (February, I do believe). I sat down on it and had one of those "Well, nothing here. Movin' on" sort of moments. And by moving on I mean melancholic nostalgia. At least it was nice out today.

Ravenheart · « **Reply #872 on:** June 12, 2011, 12:14:40 AM »

I know this sounds like a really cliche and obvious answer, Alex, but anyone who acts like that towards a stranger minding their own business is probably a punk who has a grim future ahead of him, anyway. You're smarter and more mature than that, and that's definitely something to be proud of. Too many teenagers get stuck in that stage of moronic thinking where it's cool to yell "FAG" at people.

lateralus88 · « **Reply #873 on:** June 12, 2011, 12:19:08 AM »

When I'm in a really "high on life" sort of mood, I sometimes yell at strangers. But I don't yell fag. I yell compliments.

"I LIKE YOUR DOG"

Ravenheart · « **Reply #874 on:** June 12, 2011, 12:21:45 AM »

Yell one at me.

News: Welcome back, Mike Portnoy!

Author Topic: The Depressed/Angry Thread. (Read 255427 times)