Stupid Things that Are Really Painful.....

[Cyclopssss]

Running up the cellar stairs (when you know you shouldn't) and slipping, slamming your pinky into the wall.....owww that smarts!
yup, done that.

Also: playing indoor soccer, trying to 'really' kick the ball (you know? like all the 'pro' players do?)...and kicking the big toe right into the ground....arrrgggh. 

[Cyclopssss]

There is no known fix for that stupidity, just have to wait out the pain, just pray you don't forget to wash off the peppers before hitting the pisser....

Or scratching your ass.

Or pleasuring your gf.....

NOOOO!   

[philmcson]

There is no known fix for that stupidity, just have to wait out the pain, just pray you don't forget to wash off the peppers before hitting the pisser....

Or scratching your ass.

Or pleasuring your gf.....

NOOOO!   

This could even be a good prank if the gf was annoying lately 

[Cyclopssss]

Yeah just don´t forget not to go down on her after... 

[philmcson]

I love to eat spicy..... 

[Kotowboy]

Switching to emotional pain - seeing bands you adore with every living beat of your heart announcing tour dates nowhere near you. Dozens of times per year. Welcome to Serbia

Knowing that the one thing you really want out of life is just not possible.

And the obvious - Having deep feelings for someone who doesn't even like you.

[philmcson]

And the obvious - Having deep feelings for someone who doesn't even like you.

This. Or for someone who has recently friendzoned you.... 

[Dark Castle]

Friendzoning is not a negative thing though, sure they don't want to take it to the next step with you, but at least they still want to be friends with you.
I had/have feelings for my ex, and I asked if she'd ever want to try at it again, and she said she'd rather just be good friends, and it's worked out just fine, she's one of my best friends ever, and I'm just happy she's in my life somewhere, we're both Grimes fanatics so we just gush over Grimes and chill.
That being said, it can suck being turned down.

[philmcson]

Friendzoning is not a negative thing though, sure they don't want to take it to the next step with you, but at least they still want to be friends with you.
I had/have feelings for my ex, and I asked if she'd ever want to try at it again, and she said she'd rather just be good friends, and it's worked out just fine, she's one of my best friends ever, and I'm just happy she's in my life somewhere, we're both Grimes fanatics so we just gush over Grimes and chill.
That being said, it can suck being turned down.

This is partially true, my ex-gf of three years and I are now best friends forever and trust each other in all aspects and so on, there's no other solution that could have been a better post-breakup outcome. However, I was thinking about when you spend some time with a person and have high hopes it'll be a relationship, then she opts for someone else but because of the fact that she's a good person I decided to not go nuts and send her to hell. Instead of that now we're good friends but she mustn't talk a single word about her relationship to me and I occasionally bring up the fact that I still have a hidden crush on her. To which she replies something like "no one knows what the future will bring!" Yeah, whatever.... 

[slycordinator]

1) If it's mentioned openly to her, it's not exactly hidden
2) Mentioning it to her is handing her the salt to pour on the wound

[bosk1]

Wearing half latex, half cotton slip under the jeans in summer. I always remind myself not to do this shit again but still do.

Wait...what does this even mean?! 

[Zook]

Wanda Sykes

[lonestar]

Wanda Sykes

 

[MoraWintersoul]

Half-crouching to tie my shoelaces, taking a step back, accidentally stepping on my dress, and landing on my butt when I try to get up

[Nekov]

Half-crouching to tie my shoelaces, taking a step back, accidentally stepping on my dress, and landing on my butt when I try to get up

  This would be both hilarious and cute at the same time.

[Podaar]

Muddling lime and mint for a mojito and having the juice leap out of the glass and hit you directly in the eyes.

[Chino]

Friendzoning is not a negative thing though, sure they don't want to take it to the next step with you, but at least they still want to be friends with you.
I had/have feelings for my ex, and I asked if she'd ever want to try at it again, and she said she'd rather just be good friends, and it's worked out just fine, she's one of my best friends ever, and I'm just happy she's in my life somewhere, we're both Grimes fanatics so we just gush over Grimes and chill.
That being said, it can suck being turned down.

I'm on great terms with my ex's. I mean, we aren't 'friends' in the traditional sense, but we still keep in touch and it's not awkward if we bump into each other. We don't go out and do things, or socialize with people from each other's groups, but it's better than hating each other forever.

[Chino]

I was soldering up some electric motors over the weekend. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I intentionally let some molten solder drip onto my finger nail. Holy fuck. I never yelled so loudly in my life. I said every swear I knew while violently shaking my hand as if that would help.

[ThatOneGuy2112]

Friendzoning is not a negative thing though, sure they don't want to take it to the next step with you, but at least they still want to be friends with you.
I had/have feelings for my ex, and I asked if she'd ever want to try at it again, and she said she'd rather just be good friends, and it's worked out just fine, she's one of my best friends ever, and I'm just happy she's in my life somewhere, we're both Grimes fanatics so we just gush over Grimes and chill.
That being said, it can suck being turned down.

I'm on great terms with my ex's. I mean, we aren't 'friends' in the traditional sense, but we still keep in touch and it's not awkward if we bump into each other. We don't go out and do things, or socialize with people from each other's groups, but it's better than hating each other forever.

Yup this. I've had both tastes of the spectrum. I'm still on really friendly terms with one of my ex's and we're still really close friends and talk often, while on the other hand with another ex, we've not had any form of contact with each other since our break up. So yeah. Definitely prefer the first situation if possible.

[MetalJunkie]

When I am smoking and my lips are dry, the cig sticks to my lips as I try to pull it out after a drag, burning the inside of my fingers. Finger burns hurt so fucking much.

So. Much. Rage.

Happened all the time when I smoked. Here's my problem as of late... Kinda gross:

Getting a pube caught in underwear elastic, and every step pulls it all to hell.

[TioJorge]

Wearing half latex, half cotton slip under the jeans in summer. I always remind myself not to do this shit again but still do.

Wait...what does this even mean?! 

I am still very interested in this. Very. I'm assuming it has something to do with chafing...but I'm not sure. My imagination always gets the best of me so now I think you're bleeding from your penis and just think that men have periods. It happens.

[King Postwhore]

I always wear a condom under my cotton.

[Neon]

Elbow. Corner.

A few weeks ago I smashed mine so hard that I immediately dropped to the floor and started laughing hysterically.
I sometimes laugh instead of crying I guess.

I was going to post pretty much the same thing.  I did this while I was on the phone with someone at work the other day.  Made for an interesting conversation. 

[jingle.boy]

I always wear a condom under my cotton.

Cock in a sock?

[King Postwhore]

I always wear a condom under my cotton.

Cock in a sock?

Helps not stick to the sides.  You know my plight.

[TioJorge]

Elbow. Corner.

A few weeks ago I smashed mine so hard that I immediately dropped to the floor and started laughing hysterically.
I sometimes laugh instead of crying I guess.

I was going to post pretty much the same thing.  I did this while I was on the phone with someone at work the other day.  Made for an interesting conversation.

I've known a few different people that did this and they're all women.

You're an odd breed, you walking vaginas.

[King Postwhore]

My wife constantly gives herself black and blues.  People must think I'm an abuser. 

[TioJorge]

YES, THAT MUST BE WHAT THEY THINK. HA HA HA. THAT IS SO FUNNY. WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT IS.

You're a sneaky one, aren't you? Setting up your alibi on the internet...psh...ooookaaaay, WALT. 

[King Postwhore]

 

She deserves a medal for being with me for 23 years, not knuckle sandwiches.

[sneakyblueberry]

Anal fissures.  Suddenly having a poo turns into the single most painful experience of anyone, anywhere, ever.

Having 4 different doctors gazing into your tattered anus is also quite painful in its own way.   

[Neon]

Anal fissures.  Suddenly having a poo turns into the single most painful experience of anyone, anywhere, ever.

Having 4 different doctors gazing into your tattered anus is also quite painful in its own way.

That sounds.....unpleasant.

[sneakyblueberry]

Anal fissures.  Suddenly having a poo turns into the single most painful experience of anyone, anywhere, ever.

Having 4 different doctors gazing into your tattered anus is also quite painful in its own way.

That sounds.....unpleasant.

Gave me a new appreciation for a good, hassle-free poop that's for sure.

[MoraWintersoul]

You're an odd breed, you walking vaginas.