Stupid Things that Are Really Painful.....

[MoraWintersoul]

Switching to emotional pain - seeing bands you adore with every living beat of your heart announcing tour dates nowhere near you. Dozens of times per year. Welcome to Serbia

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

Sitting down to take a shit and having your nut get caught between your leg and the toilet seat.

I'm sorry but...lol!

laugh now grasshopper.....wait until the day it happens you wont be laughing then

Naw i won't happen to me, you see...i take care of my balls with great care and love! 

[jingle.boy]

Switching to emotional pain - seeing bands you adore with every living beat of your heart announcing tour dates nowhere near you. Dozens of times per year. Welcome to Serbia

Along those lines, Europeans getting all the good prog-metal bands.  Welcome to North America.

[MoraWintersoul]

Switching to emotional pain - seeing bands you adore with every living beat of your heart announcing tour dates nowhere near you. Dozens of times per year. Welcome to Serbia

Along those lines, Europeans getting all the good prog-metal bands.  Welcome to North America.

WHICH EUROPEANS. Aside from Leprous now, the last remotely prog show in Serbia was Evergrey four years ago.

[Cedar redaC]

One time, I was doing the dishes and as I was scrubbing one, it slipped out of my hands. I tried to catch it, but it shattered. As you can imagine, my grabbing for it and it's sudden sharpness were not a good combination.

[philmcson]

I used to play a lot of football (as in, real football where you actually kick the ball about a lot), and the ball always seemed to end up crashing against my stomach, winding me. Worst feeling ever.

Given the fact that you're short as you say, God knows where that ball would crash against if you were a few inches taller......

[slycordinator]

[tangent: From the fantastic movie "Black Dynamite"]
Black Dynamite: How's my x-ray?
Doctor: Well, no fragments. In and out. You're lucky, Black Dynamite. Three inches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.
Black Dynamite: Three inches to the right, and it would've missed my black ass.
 

[Sketchy]

There's a cupboard above the dishwasher at home, conveniently head height, and the spiky bit of the catch is forhead height. Naturally, when emptying the dishwasher, both my stepfather and I have a habit of stepping over the dishwasher to get to the other side an getting the catch in the middle of the forehead. That really canes.

[Fuzzboy]

Switching to emotional pain - seeing bands you adore with every living beat of your heart announcing tour dates nowhere near you. Dozens of times per year. Welcome to Serbia

This happens in south florida a lot for some reason. I'm driving four hours next month to see Devin Townsend play in St. Pete for probably not more than 45 minutes. Iron Maiden also didn't play South Florida for maybe 15 years.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

This happen's when you live in the world's second largest country and all the bands only play in like 2-5 different cities and you're nowhere near any of those cities.

[Ultimetalhead]

Ever so slight ball tap, which strangely hurts more than a direct hit.

I'd probably attribute it to the idea that adrenaline would kick in after a direct hit. Something like a tap would likely be right at the threshold where the adrenaline wouldn't kick in.

On a related ball-injury note. I was once lying around watching tv, twirling the remote in my hand like a drumstick. Dropped it right on the cash and prizes. It hurt so bad and it was so stupid that I just burst into laughter.

[MoraWintersoul]

On a related ball-injury note. I was once lying around watching tv, twirling the remote in my hand like a drumstick. Dropped it right on the cash and prizes. It hurt so bad and it was so stupid that I just burst into laughter.

I've never heard that expression before. Also, it appears I'm not the only person who laughs instead of crying.

[JayOctavarium]

That stupid moment when there is another bowling ball coming up the ball return at the same time you are reaching down for your ball and it knocks 2 balls together... with you damned finger right between them

[Ultimetalhead]

On a related ball-injury note. I was once lying around watching tv, twirling the remote in my hand like a drumstick. Dropped it right on the cash and prizes. It hurt so bad and it was so stupid that I just burst into laughter.

I've never heard that expression before. Also, it appears I'm not the only person who laughs instead of crying.

Granted, it was only in that instance. If I ever get a charlie horse, I will cry like a little bitch. That particular injury was just funny to me, and the pain was just ridiculous.

[The King in Crimson]

Twisting my knee (usually while just sitting on my ass) and having to pop it back into place. 

This would be a much larger display of manliness if I was doing something other than reading DTF or watching cats on youtube at the time.

[Neon]

You know what hurts?

Smacking yourself in the face with the door of your car. 

This is my life.   

[JayOctavarium]

You know what hurts?

Smacking yourself in the face with the door of your car. 

This is my life.   

Smashing your finger in a car door

[MoraWintersoul]

My brother managed to smash his cellphone in a car door.

[philmcson]

It surely wasn't a Nokia 3310....

[MoraWintersoul]

Nope. It was the dumbest thing I've ever seen anyone do, though

[Lynxo]

Oh, the Nokia 3310 reminds me of painful incident. I had that phone for so fucking long but finally, it started to malfunction and would drop out when you were speaking with someone all the time. One evening, it happened one time too much and I went into rage mode. I yelled at the phone and proceded to throw it to the ground with all the might I could muster. But I swear to God, just a microsecond after the phone left my hand and went into the ground, I came to my senses and let out a Darth Vader-like "noooooooooooooo" and tried to catch it in the air. But alas, it was not meant to be. The phone went into the ground. (In a manner similar to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ.)

But lo and behold! It seems like only the glass broke. Maybe the phone would still work? But God works in mysterious ways, and this evening his way was to mess with me as much as possible. So before I managed to pick up the damn thing, a fucking cyclist comes from behind and runs over my precious phone! AAAAAAAAARGH! And that was it, the phone now was in about 3310 pieces.

I buried the thing atop a hill, under a three. The 3310 would have liked that, I think. God have mercy on its soul.

[lonestar]

I still have mine. Should think of an epic demise for it.....

[Phoenix87x]

Switching to emotional pain

Indeed. and thus I submit Rejection. It shouldn't be a big deal but sometimes it can be devastating.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

A few months ago, I was unloading guitars from the backseat at a gig.  Passenger side.  One in each hand and an open car door.  Instead of going around to the outer side of the door and butt-shutting it, I decide to stand there, reach my right foot up and use it to pull the door shut.  Not realizing that as I'm pulling my foot from right to left forcing the door shut that it would take a previously unnoticed, but very existent metal corner of the door RIGHT across my shin at full force.  That was some of the worst pain I can remember in a long time.

[Nekov]

I used to play a lot of football (as in, real football where you actually kick the ball about a lot), and the ball always seemed to end up crashing against my stomach, winding me. Worst feeling ever.

And lucky for you it can't hit you in the nuts. That right there is f**king painful

[gmillerdrake]

Burning the roof of your mouth...most commonly inflicted by hot cheese on a pizza. Hurts like a mother  and ruins food for the rest of the night and sometimes the next day.

[gmillerdrake]

Game 7 of the 1987 World Series that the Cardinals lost...we were outside playing 'ragball' before the game. The ball was thrown into the sewer. I removed the lid...scampered down the sewer....retreived the ball...instructed everyone to stand back....and dropped the very heavy steel sewer lid on my right big toe. Had on 'flip flops' so there was a great deal of blood.

It ripped my toenail near completely off...left it hanging by a strong piece of flesh so I just kind of left it there. About two weeks later I was taking my sock of that foot and sure enough....RRRIIPP....the toenail had bound up in the sock somehow and I ripped that bad boy the rest of the way off. I wept.

[philmcson]

Now I remember..... I was cooking my beloved chili and tore a habanero apart with my fingers to put it in the pot. Not having washed my hands yet, a few moments later something was itching in my eyes and I took the "peppered" fingers to stop it.

Had to rinse my eyeballs for some 10 minutes. 

[lonestar]

Now I remember..... I was cooking my beloved chili and tore a habanero apart with my fingers to put it in the pot. Not having washed my hands yet, a few moments later something was itching in my eyes and I took the "peppered" fingers to stop it.

Had to rinse my eyeballs for some 10 minutes. 

Done that one many times.

[MoraWintersoul]

Game 7 of the 1987 World Series that the Cardinals lost...we were outside playing 'ragball' before the game. The ball was thrown into the sewer. I removed the lid...scampered down the sewer....retreived the ball...instructed everyone to stand back....and dropped the very heavy steel sewer lid on my right big toe. Had on 'flip flops' so there was a great deal of blood.

It ripped my toenail near completely off...left it hanging by a strong piece of flesh so I just kind of left it there. About two weeks later I was taking my sock of that foot and sure enough....RRRIIPP....the toenail had bound up in the sock somehow and I ripped that bad boy the rest of the way off. I wept.

I ripped my own toenail off recently when I smashed it and it broke in half, except I ripped it on purpose because the fact it was getting all caught up in my socks annoyed me. Just plucked that half of it right out. You can call me Rambo

[philmcson]

Now I remember..... I was cooking my beloved chili and tore a habanero apart with my fingers to put it in the pot. Not having washed my hands yet, a few moments later something was itching in my eyes and I took the "peppered" fingers to stop it.

Had to rinse my eyeballs for some 10 minutes. 

Done that one many times.

Ah, but you're a cook, aren't you?!  Do you have any insider tips on how to handle this situation? Pour milk or even yoghurt onto the eyes?! 

[lonestar]

Now I remember..... I was cooking my beloved chili and tore a habanero apart with my fingers to put it in the pot. Not having washed my hands yet, a few moments later something was itching in my eyes and I took the "peppered" fingers to stop it.

Had to rinse my eyeballs for some 10 minutes. 

Done that one many times.

Ah, but you're a cook, aren't you?!  Do you have any insider tips on how to handle this situation? Pour milk or even yoghurt onto the eyes?! 

There is no known fix for that stupidity, just have to wait out the pain, just pray you don't forget to wash off the peppers before hitting the pisser....

[jingle.boy]

There is no known fix for that stupidity, just have to wait out the pain, just pray you don't forget to wash off the peppers before hitting the pisser....

Or scratching your ass.

[Tick]

that piece of beef jerky that stayed behind to cause your gums to throb at 3:00am in the morning! Reach for the floss and let the bleeding begin!

[philmcson]

There is no known fix for that stupidity, just have to wait out the pain, just pray you don't forget to wash off the peppers before hitting the pisser....

Or scratching your ass.

Or pleasuring your gf.....