The new 'astonishing' album grabs you right off the bat. An all white, scratch off cover. I couldn’t resist this marketing tool, and went to the Roadrunner Records' preview to grab two: one to scratch, one to leave alone. I ended up having to buy six at twice the price, because I wanted the bonus version (see below), but screwed up and scratched off the wrong covers until coming across the correct one.
“You break it, you buy it!”
Lesson learned.
This p*ssed off four other reviewers, who arrived late and had to leave empty handed because they wanted the original version.
Check out my site on eBay (can't wait for the bidding wars, suckers)
I will let the band members explain the lyrics in another article (yes, all five had a hand in this one). As to the song titles, JP explained that the band struggled in this area, suffering from somewhat of a 'withering' effect. Not quite sure what that means, but I digress.
Anyhoo, on to the music.
Track listings
1. Born To Be Kings (11:04) “Here we are, Born To Be Kings, we’re the princes of the universe.” Holy crap! You know you are in for a, shall I say it, astonishing adventure with this intro. All five members (and special unnamed guest) provide the opening vocals with 150 overdubs, as well as the backing vocals throughout this bombastic album opening rocker. This semi-cover of Queen’s ‘Princes of the Universe’ incorporates the demo version and ‘Gimme The Prize’. Petrucci goes back in time with the ‘Misunderstood’-type play/tape/play tape backwards/emulate backwards tape and play procedure that made me jump out of my chair, thinking it was Brian May and his Red Special making a guest appearance.
Well, he DOES on this one! When John and the good Doctor (really, he has his PhD) speed this one up into overdrive, sharing and alternating solo riffs, you swear the heavens have opened up. 9.95/10 BTBK could have gone on another 3 minutes.
2. Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers (1:55) After the epic opener, a short rocker that throws a monkey wrench at the fans in their beliefs of the band, who say to themselves, 'that's astonishing' when viewing the title. Actually, this reviewer went 'WTF?'. An odd first promo video as well, especially seeing Roger Taylor of Queen joining James on LVs, and playing a bit of rhythm guitar as he and Petrucci pay tribute to ZZTop with their fuzzy twirling guitars and ZZ Topish long beards. 7/10 BDaHR might be a minute too long.
Even more astonishing is, upon a closer listen, the auto tuned backing vocal just might be, could be......and is.......
3. I Was So Tired (3:26) Mike Portnoy continues 'the astonishing' theme by providing more vocals, this time as guest lead on this semi-cover of The Beatles' blues-ish ‘I’m So Tired’. Not the greatest track, but very good for change of tempo and mood. Note the slight change in lyrics that appear near the end:
"I was so tired, I needed a one year break.
Although I was so tired, it was a big mistake."
8/10 I like this, I really do, just wish IWST was longer (imagine saying that about a DT song!)
4. Bang On The Drums (6:25) DT changes pace again, picking things up with their standard one fun, upbeat, feel good track per album. On this Todd Rundgren cover, it's just Portnoy and Mangini doing a vocal and percussion duet. BOTD is absolutely and unequivocally Astonishing! Astounding! 9.9/10
5. Ravenskill (4:28) Jordan's instrumental homage to Edgar Allen Poe and the Baltimore Ravens football team. The original version clocked in at 52:35, as Ray Lewis is asked to provide some spoken words in the middle bridge, but goes off script as always and rambles on about life, God, team, his favorite foods as a boy, his wardrobe, etc. Ends abrubtly as Jordan develops cramps in all three hands. Soon to be a DT collectors’ dream (or nightmare to remember). 5.5/10 because I wish R didn't fade into the next track, 9/10 if R (or Rs or Rk or Rkill if you prefer) faded a bit sooner.
This album version begins with soft piano intro, a thrill ride middle, repeated piano outro, leading into….
6. No More Mr. Nice Guy (8:12) John Myung's gnarly, snarling whispered lead vocals. Astonishing! With the bass turned up to 11, this makes up for it being so low in the mix on prior albums. The reverb is so pronounced, that it may crack windows. If it doesn't, it can cause your drywall to chip and fall off. The theme changes drastically midway through (for no apparent reason), with various tempo changes of 10-30 musical second segments taken from all songs of Queensryche’s ‘Empire’ LP. LaBrie makes a brief appearance, as he sings the chorus of Freddie Mercury’s ‘Mr. Bad Guy’, which will appease the JLB haters.
"I'm Mr. Bad Guy
Yes, I'm everybody's Mr. Bad Guy
Can't you see, I'm Mr. LaBrie....."
(can't you just visualize James giving a 'go eff yourselves' facial expression throughout this segment?)
‘Nice Guy’ (or NMMNG if you prefer), returns for the final two minutes. An added bonus is the 45 second fade out, complete with all spoken words taken from JM’s interviews throughout the years. Those that don't like JM's, or JLB's vocals (or both) just will hate this to death. The rest of us will think it's alright to good to great. The way they alternate as backing vocalists for the other has to be heard to be appreciated. 8/10 (or 2/10, depending on who you are....and you know who you are).
Unlisted negative timed track (?) (2:05) After the fade out, rather than copying Alice and singing “Clee-hee-hee-hee, clee-hee-hee-hee, clee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeeeeen”, John simply speaks the word ‘clean’. MP returns for the crashing two second drum ending of NMMNG (or ‘Nice Guy’ if you prefer), which continues on for another two astonishing minutes.
7. Lower The Blade (11:24) Fans will think the band used 'Raise The Knife' as the inspiration. My guess is that the arguments will continue forever. If RTK was the inspiration, so be it, as the sound of the LTB production is what the original should have been treated to (including the bass). James’ vocals, which are good to very good throughout the album, are absolutely…….. breathtaking and stunning (and you thought I was going to write astounding or astonishing). 9.63/10
8. Long, Long, Long (21:43) As the title states, this is a long one. It didn't take me long to realize that this was about longing, or something long-related. Themed around Harrison's 'White Album' track, the middle 15 minutes incorporates the beginning of Rush's '2112', Styx 'Mr. Roboto' from 'Kilroy Was Here' (and for some reason, 'Best of Times'), Queen's 'Long Away', Boston's 'Long Time', a mellow interlude of Dan Fogelberg's 'Longer', as well as some movie soundtrack dialogue from the original 'The Longest Yard’. Four minutes of the ending of The Who's 'Song is Over' is the first fade out, and then the eerie ending of ‘Long, Long, Long’ for ten seconds. Won't use the 'A' word, but I will say this one is epic! 9.2/10
I didn't like it, couldn't get a handle on it, and then I listened to this one 26 hours yesterday (that's over 100x!)
[expletive deleted verb] !!!!!!!! [expletive deleted noun]!!!!!!! it is just absolutely [expletive deleted present tense verb] [expletive deleted adjective]!!!!!!! I love, love, love LLL
9. Hidden track (1:30) Petrucci guitar solo, enough to start smoking your stereo, get the dogs in the neighborhood barking, and may crack whatever glass still remains from track 6.
10. Hidden track #2 (until the 80 minute disk space is used up) The drum duet/battle returns, similar to the beginning of ‘The Shattered Fortress’. They should call this ‘The Shattered Ceiling’, as what was left of mine after Track 9 (or is it Track 20?) crumbled down upon me.
Roger Taylor and his son Rufus provide additional percussion for five seconds. Jason Bonham also provides drumming at the two minute mark in the left channel (or right, depending on how one wears their headphones). Hard to tell if it is 'Moby Dick' or 'Battle Hymn of the Republic'.
Buyers’ note: Two versions of this album will be available. The first version will have the ten tracks listed. The second version (easily identifiable with the Majesty logo in lower case on the sleeve after you scratch off the cover) has Track 1 will be divided into 4 tracks (subtitled ‘sub 1, sub 2, etc’), track 2 becomes track 5, and so on. Track 8 on the original, will be divided into tracks 11-19 (with titles and no roman numerals in front), and the first hidden track will be track 20. Track 10 (Hidden Track #2) ((Track 21?)) contains one minute of Mike Portnoy and Ray Lewis spoken dialogue, the bonus and original North Korean versions have Portnoy just growling. But oh, those drums! I wish they would bang on them all day!!!!
This also provides the great debate (bazinga!) as to whether tracks 1 and 8 are one song each, or 4 and 9, respectively.
It is obvious after a couple of listens, that this could…………(insert fade out of 'Finally Free'………)