The pathetic facebook status thread.

[Arch Benemy]

 ‎2nd quote of the day from *****...my customer at work sed agwarn to me on the phone,this is me dnt u mean wagwarn luv haaaaa


I hate this girl so much, but then she did put topless pics of herself up on facebook, so i keep her

[Global Laziness]

‎2nd quote of the day from *****...my customer at work sed agwarn to me on the phone,this is me dnt u mean wagwarn luv haaaaa


I hate this girl so much, but then she did put topless pics of herself up on facebook, so i keep her

1) Wtf is agwarn?
2) Wtf is wagwarn?
3) Solid! I'm assuming that was unintentional? How long before those were deleted?

[Arch Benemy]

Actually I think she meant to do it, she got a boob job a few years ago and loves showing them off, and put up photos of herself sunbathing topless on holiday. They were up for a long time actually, maybe she deleted them herself after she thought she'd got enough attention

[Global Laziness]

Actually I think she meant to do it, she got a boob job a few years ago and loves showing them off, and put up photos of herself sunbathing topless on holiday. They were up for a long time actually, maybe she deleted them herself after she thought she'd got enough attention

Doesn't Facebook monitor and delete stuff like that, though?

[Gadough]

Let's hope not.

[ZBomber]

Did somebody say boobs?

[Sigz]

Actually I think she meant to do it, she got a boob job a few years ago and loves showing them off, and put up photos of herself sunbathing topless on holiday. They were up for a long time actually, maybe she deleted them herself after she thought she'd got enough attention

Doesn't Facebook monitor and delete stuff like that, though?

Only if it gets reported.

[Super Dude]

Not really a pathetic status:

_______  wants to be able to sleep without the night-long vivid dreams that make her wake up feeling exhausted, please. Who can she see about this?

I was pretty tempted to say, "You're being extracted," or something along those lines.

[Gadough]

DO IT

[Silver Tears]

***** *******  would loike to think that reincarnation exists, so that seh can come back as Beyonce!!!!

 

[blackngold29]

Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best reincarnations of all time.

[Gadough]

I can usually understand this guy's statuses if I re-read them several times slowly, but this one has me stumped.

Dawg I hav 2 loyal dumbass bros n matthew Andrews sanders nd jedaven goldsby lol bt I cnt do nun bt smh at dem

This next one is from the same guy. I can understand this one at least, and it made me laugh.

dawg i jus ate da biggest mf-in burrito eva taco bell aint gt shit on it lol. i swear it was like 3 taco bell burritos n one. i hav ta save da otha half of dis burrito

[blackngold29]

I can usually understand this guy's statuses if I re-read them several times slowly, but this one has me stumped.

Dawg I hav 2 loyal dumbass bros n matthew Andrews sanders nd jedaven goldsby lol bt I cnt do nun bt smh at dem

This next one is from the same guy. I can understand this one at least, and it made me laugh.

dawg i jus ate da biggest mf-in burrito eva taco bell aint gt shit on it lol. i swear it was like 3 taco bell burritos n one. i hav ta save da otha half of dis burrito

"Dawg, I have two loyal dumbass bros in Matthew Andrews Sanders and Jedaven Goldsby, lol, but I can't do nothing but smile at them."


His friends are stupid, but he can't help but laugh at the situation.

[Gadough]

Oh.

That makes sense.

*sigh*

[Gadough]

I think the fact that I'm almost single-handedly keeping this thread alive should tell me something about the general level of intelligence of where I live...

Anyway:

[Random girl] lost my boyfriend in Wal-Mart, lol

The boyfriend's response:

Lol u not suppost to tell people im half retaired!!! Thats our secret. Haha

I wish I was fucking kidding.

[zxlkho]

 

Gadough, I love where you live. It brings the lolz.

[Gadough]

GET ME OUT OF HERE

[zxlkho]

 

[Birch Boy]

I think the fact that I'm almost single-handedly keeping this thread alive should tell me something about the general level of intelligence of where I live...

Don't worry, I got your back

u aint grindin till' you die

damn it feels good to be a gangster

inspectah deck

J chillen watching cougars take it deep, bonin the new bitches, sex crazed cougars 6, all deep in your mamma, lesbian house hunters and it's raining sluts 3 with ashley and steph ------! Woo party party!

Just a small sample from my news feed right now. The first three are from the same person withing ten minutes of each other.

[Super Dude]

Do you guys live in, like...the 'hood or something?

[Birch Boy]

If the suburbs of New York City count as the hood, then yes.

[Sigz]

I went to school with people who probably have statuses like that, I'm just not friends with them.

[Gadough]

Do you guys live in, like...the 'hood or something?

.......

Basically, yeah

[Gadough]

....Couldn't this guy get in serious trouble over saying this? Does this not constitute a threat?

iGot a couple of REAL niggas i f**K wit and Trust...but the rest of these fake ass nigga that i call friends..We cnt play Ncca11 nomo, we gn play Russian Roulette, but im the only shooter!!..

[Birch Boy]

My friend (who was joking) made a threat to kill the president on Tuesday (it was Monday when he wrote the status), and the government came to his house and took his computer, among other things.

[lateralus88]

My friend (who was joking) made a threat to kill the president on Tuesday (it was Monday when he wrote the status), and the government came to his house and took his computer, among other things.

Wait...seriously?

[Gadough]

He should have known better, everyone knows you can't say that.

[lateralus88]

inb4 debate about internet freedom

[Gadough]

There are certain very clear lines that should never be crossed. That happens to be one of them.

[Birch Boy]

My friend (who was joking) made a threat to kill the president on Tuesday (it was Monday when he wrote the status), and the government came to his house and took his computer, among other things.

Wait...seriously?

Srsly

He should have known better, everyone knows you can't say that.

There are certain very clear lines that should never be crossed. That happens to be one of them.

These are correct

[Orbert]

Every "threat" like that, serious or not, has to be treated seriously.  For one thing, there's no way to know for sure.  They can't say "Oh, it's just some kid pissed about something" and ignore it.  Another reason is that if the person really tries to kill the president and they knew he posted about it on Facebook (or Twitter or whatever) but didn't do anything, they're gonna look like total idiots.  And honestly, they don't want that.

[Global Laziness]

My friend (who was joking) made a threat to kill the president on Tuesday (it was Monday when he wrote the status), and the government came to his house and took his computer, among other things.

Although it isn't even remotely surprising, it's still remarkable how quickly the government was able to act in that situation.

[Birch Boy]

My friend (who was joking) made a threat to kill the president on Tuesday (it was Monday when he wrote the status), and the government came to his house and took his computer, among other things.

Although it isn't even remotely surprising, it's still remarkable how quickly the government was able to act in that situation.

This happened about two months ago, but they did come that night.

[Jamesman42]

I am successfully convincing most of my facebook friends that I got married on the down low. That my "wife" and I just went to the courthouse and got it over with, and we had a small, private party for it. Even a lot of my good friends don't know me fully because I tend to not reveal a lot about myself, so it's working very well.

[Jamesman42]

This girl knows me well enough to know that I probably don't have a gf without her knowing, and she KNOWS how sarcastic I am:

Some girl: What???!!! Is this for real?
Jamesman: Yeah...it was a quick decision, but we feel we made the right one. It's so amazing. I kinda kept it from everyone because, idk, I wasn't sure if everyone was going to say it was too fast for us. She's great, though.
Her: Well then congratulations!!!!! I'm so happy for you! Who is she???