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Calvin, you are spot on. Treat every gig like it's an event, treat every crowd like you're there just for them, because you are. Every one of us has done this enough to know how it works. By time we get set up and sound checked, the adrenaline will be flowing and I'll be ready to rock.
There was exactly one gig, back in the 80's, that I didn't give the proper treatment, and I regret it. We were to be the "special guests" at some multi-band thing an hour south of where we lived. The problem was that we had a gig the night before, two hours north. This was in the days of three-day and four-day gigs all over northern Michigan, so driving two hours each way was okay because it was an extended gig and good money. Well, $700 in 1982 money, which wasn't too bad.
Anyway, we decided to tear down and pack the bus the night before, get some sleep, then hit the road when we got up the next day. We got started late, traffic sucked, and we got lost on the way there. We were still there half an hour before we were supposed to play, which was good, but that's when we found out that being the "special guests" was a euphemism for "suckers who we got to fill up a set". Our guitarist and bassist had to plug into the "host" band's amps. Drummer had to use their kit, and I had to use the keyboard rig. Seriously? In the half hour we had, I went up there and tried to quickly learn everything I could about some other guy's setup. He gave me a ten-second summary, then disappeared, because he didn't like the idea of someone else using his gear any more than I did. Nice stuff, but it was all backwards. Synth on the left, organ on the right, piano in the middle. I always have the synth on the right (it's a fucking lead instrument, of course it's on the right if you don't stack them) and my choice would've been to have the organ on the left, but I wasn't allowed to move them around or anything. I'd never played a real Hammond with drawbars and everything, and it would've been nice to actually have even ten minutes to learn, but we weren't allowed to make any sound during the break, I guess because people wanted to hear the shitty jukebox music.
I was tired, sore, felt screwed over, and was trying to navigate someone's else rig. "Special guests" my ass. I decided it was okay to let it show on my face. Yeah, we sound like shit, sorry, we're not happy about it either. Later, the other guys asked me what the deal was. Apparently they all had problems and I was the only one who actually sounded good, but I looked bored/unhappy/whiny the whole time. Even their sound man said it was cool finally getting to mix a keyboard player that knew how to actually use all that awesome gear. It was just a shame that obviously it wasn't easy for me, but it sounded great.
So... never again. Every show is an event, every audience is special. I'm a professional (even if I'm just an amateur) and I'm gonna act like one.
Sorry to hear about your experience playing with great musicians but never really getting to go live with it. I love playing music, and just jamming with other talented guys is great, but ultimately, playing for others is where it's at. Our band was originally formed because John has a huge basement and plenty of disposable income, so his idea was to buy a bunch of gear, assemble a group of capable musicians and have a freaking awesome time rocking out in the comfort of his basement. Like me, he hadn't played in a "real band" since the 80's, so the idea of gigging wasn't even in the picture. That changed when we realized how good we are. It's already great playing with these guys, so going live is the next level.
Oddly enough, just thinking about this is starting to get me kinda fired up. Or maybe it's the coffee kicking in. I think I'll go make another cup.