I live in North Carolina. You get no sympathy from me.
Have they ever been here? I'd consider going if they did.
They played here one time - in Asheville, on the Progressive Nation 2009 tour. That's it.
Also, JP played in Chapel Hill once when he was on the G3 tour.
My wife and I attended the Asheville show; aside from the acoustics of the venue, I enjoyed it a great deal. Zappa was a fun act as well.
My only regret was missing Scale the Summit; I've been a huge fan of their music since finding them and we missed their set by accident.
I also remember walking up the sidewalk to the venue and seeing a guy walking down the middle of the street (with traffic) singing a line from SFaM... Asheville is a fun place!