The pathetic facebook status thread.

[Plasmastrike]

People are fucked up.

[ehra]

Back when I still had my facebook account (don't regret closing it), I had a conversation that went something like this:

*Some girl makes a status update that's retarded as all fuck, so I reply with a "lol"*
"It wasn't directed at you, mind your own business"
"Why would you make a public post that shows up for everyone who has you added then get upset when they reply to it?"
"Who the fuck are you? I don't even know you"
"Yeah, I was curious why you sent me a friend invite in the first place"
"lol so why'd you accept?"
"Having a bigger friends list makes me feel better as a person"
"Wow, get a life"


It's amazing how random people on the internet can be so fucking thick, but then I talk to random people I run into throughout the day and they're perfectly normal and likable. It's almost like they're actually people.

[MetalManiac666]

Same guy in order.

Washin the beast then pickin up wifey!! ♥ Takin her to Ihop! Since shes a fat ass :-)
September 15 at 11:24am

 FML!!! I hate mothers!!!!!!
Sunday at 6:51pm    (keep in mind he is referring to the woman who adopted him after his 16 year old meth addicted mother abandoned him)

I'm single and I'm fuckin staying that way!!! Fuck bitches
Sunday at 7:56pm

Fuck bitches, already got money, might as well get more.
Monday at 3:18pm

Ugh wish I was with my wifey :/. Love you Babi <333333!!!!!
Monday at 5:20pm

I love my wifeyyyyyyyy
8 minutes ago

lol

[sonatafanica]

Someone I know posted

"Between each smile theres a tear in your eye"

And this one guy replied

"between each fart is a ballsack jiggle"


So naturally, I go and look at the guy's photographs. Profile photo: shot of him looking up and slightly to the side to show off his tattooed neck. Okay, this guy might just have some weird sense of humor without being a complete tool. Second photograph of him: back to camera, simultaneously pissing in a pool, flipping off the camera, and raising his beer.

[Birch Boy]

[MetalManiac666]

[Gadough]

wats up with these boys that didnt even make the high school parties and now they think they cool enough to attend college parties. smh

I'm really tempted to respond with a nice and blunt "Grow up." But I'm cool with this guy so I don't think I should.

[bout to crash]

Oh, people are dumb. I haven't been to this thread in ages and I don't know why 

I love my friend Ashley dearly but sometimes her statuses are fucking ridiculous. I'm trying to find a good one... Eh, I got nothin' right now. She's not being as melodramatic as usual. I guess that's a plus!

I can't find anything good from anyone, dammit.

I dunno what this means but it made me lol:

its a slap in the face to all camels woldwide

[Sigz]

Fresh from my front page:

[chknptpie]

Adam Just finished a bitchin lightsaber fight with my sweet love Tricia !!!!!!!!!!!

            Shane sounds like a perfect tuesday night

            Benjamin Who won?

            Tricia I totally won, I had the darth maul double sided saber

            Shane not fair, not fair at all..

            Adam Dude! It was so a draw, I only lost one leg, how many times did you cut your own off with the other side of your lightsaber!!!!!

            Tricia Well its long with both sides out! I have short arms!

            Wilson did it glow in the dark?



okay so I won't lie... Adam is my boyfriend haha We were bored last night.

[AwakeFromOctavarium]

Fresh from my front page:


https://imgur.com/YtGbZ.jpg

What a gem.

[Implode]

"so fucking tired of this shit."

Ehhh. This again. -_-

[limnides]

ahhh so excited...Super Harvest Moon = next to Jupiter tonight...beaming beautifulness...and full moon = werewolves which = vampires nearby = Edward Cullen come find me ♥ (don't hate because I want to live forever and age with a hottie♥)

[MetalManiac666]

Fresh from my front page:

ahhh so excited...Super Harvest Moon = next to Jupiter tonight...beaming beautifulness...and full moon = werewolves which = vampires nearby = Edward Cullen come find me ♥ (don't hate because I want to live forever and age with a hottie♥)

[sonatafanica]

I just saw this and lol'd

[Birch Boy]

I'll post my status from yesterday, not because it's pathetic, but because what happened was pathetic and -worthy.

‎'s dog pissed on his Xbox... epic, epic fail.

[Gadough]

I'm Socrates but my skin more chocolaty!

[MetalManiac666]

[Chino]

"hahahahahahha theres a reason why i deleted you buddy & it doesnt give you an excuse to try & friend me again, what a looooser cant wait to go out with my girls tonight! )"

"having carseats in the backseat of my car gets me no action... cute guy driving next to me smiles at me, i wave back.. he sees my carseats and takes off."

" i like it everywhere"

"i dont even know..."

"I don't wan't or need someone to talk to right now...."

[Gadough]

i quit ma job las nyt an i went up ther 2day an dey tol me i wkd 2day an i said i kno i quit dey lukd so sad lol

BUT TH3Y KN{}W !!! W@TZ Up AND TH@TZ R3A£ THA LORD KN{}W§ W@T I C@N D{} !! AND TH@TZ @££ THAT MAtt3Rz 2 M3!?!.

M@n watz wr{}ng w¡t thA WoR£D!!! P3OPL3 G0T M3 F****K Up ¡M n{}t F****kn w¡t @nY 1 th3y g{}t m3 wr{}ng!!! But ¡m st¡££ h@pPy ¡n my lyf3!!!

The sole purpose of these two people still being on my friend's list is so that I'll always have something to contribute to this thread.

[lateralus88]

Gadough, I can't even begin to comprehend how someone types like that. It makes even less sense than using the arrow keys in a PC game. It's the most inefficient method of typing I've ever seen.

That has to be a troll. It just has to be.

[Gadough]

....He's not. I've met him and spoken with him on enough occasions to know that he's completely dead serious.

He talks like he types. If you can imagine that. And no, I'm not kidding. If you met him and then saw his statuses on Facebook, you'd say to yourself "huh. That's not surprising in the slightest."

[lateralus88]

That puts me in a very homicidal mood.

[Phantasmatron]

The sole purpose of these two people still being on my friend's list is so that I'll always have something to contribute to this thread.

[chknptpie]

[Zydar]

[tri.ad]

Oh, what a shitstorm this will create.

[Chino]

I might have to use that, lol

[Logical Nightmare]

"I don't wan't or need someone to talk to right now...."

Oh, really? Thanks for saying so, or I would have made a HUGE effort to be there for you.

[Gorille85]

[Dublagent66]

People are fucked up.

Yes, that's why they should call it Fuckedbook.

[Orbert]

failbook.com is one of my regular daily humor stops.  The stupidity of the general public is a constant source of amusement for me.

[PlaysLikeMyung]

That can't be a real password.

ilovefrodo69? sounds fake

[Orbert]

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.  Most password systems require a minimum length, more than one dictionary word, and either digits or special characters.  Facebook does not, but my Facebook password is the same as one of my other "regular" passwords I rotate between on my various computer systems, just because it's easier to remember that way.  I'm sure lots of people do the same thing.

[lateralus88]

People are fucked up.

Yes, that's why they should call it Fuckedbook.

No no, that's a different website entirely.