Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes

[El Barto]

Yeah, the responses to the events of today have been a helluva lot funnier than this thread has been for years. 

[lonestar]

For reals 

[DragonAttack]

For overtime.

2 Wicked pornstars blow the captains. First to cum, looses in overtime.

The scene was to get more women interested in watching, not men! 

****************

Instead of four replays after every first down, show locker room footage throughout of various players getting naked before the games.

For player info, always list name, number, school, height, weight, guesstimated penis size (when erect), marital status, and Zodiac sign.

Play better football.

[Podaar]

Yeah, the responses to the events of today have been a helluva lot funnier than this thread has been for years. 

That's because we dearth of participation from you and Silent Ham.

that's fine.. i'll see myself out. just one question: what would jesus do?

Hey you've gotta win a round before you get a turn! 

[Cool Chris]

Every month is breast cancer month.

Alright fellas, let's end this. You're up TAC.

[TAC]

Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
kingshmegland - 30 (or whoosie whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 18
Cool Chris - 18
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Dragon Attack, Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold,  - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton -  3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 -  2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1


Next scene..

Upon being told that Mike Portnoy was rejoining Dream Theater, Jesus said...

[King Postwhore]

That's sexist. And funny.

Which is the point. It's a joke. Now what we believe. Congratulations Tim.

[Cool Chris]

"For my dad's sake, don't let him sing."

[DragonAttack]

"I've known that for almost two thousand years. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what in 'Hell's Kitchen' 'whahibro pickingant' means."

[gmillerdrake]

Welp......time to go grab my sled and get down to hell......should be nice and froze by the time I get there.

[soupytwist]

 - He wouldn't say anything, he'd just be cross.

- "Now that's a real miracle"

[wolfking]

Do you think everyone will survive?

[ProgMasterMind92]

HOLY ASS AND BALLS!!!

[soupytwist]

Jesus : Father!
God : S'up son.
Jesus : Portnoy has rejoin Dream Theater.  I must see them live, but I have no money - could I have an advance on my pocket money?
God : No son you've gotta earn your $.  Why don't you do perform some of your 'miracles' for cash?
Jesus : Street magic has come on quite a way since I was last here, making fish ain't going to cut it anymore.
God : Sell your Frankincense?
Jesus : Can't sell scent unless it branded like Jimmy Choo or Coco Chanel.
God : Myrrh?
Jesus : It's 2023 and still no one knows what the hell Myrrh is.
God : Oh look here I've find a site online that'll buy all your unwanted Gold!
Jesus : Awesome!  I'll do that, buy the tickets and round up a new bunch of disciples.
God : Any women disciples this time?
Jesus : Fuck no.

[King Postwhore]

Michael, I expect our picture together on Facebook for my birthday. 

[XJDenton]

"Who?"

[Podaar]

"Shit, that means Neal Morse will have more time to bother me."

[Stadler]

They need to replace James.

When are they coming to the Philippines? 

[DragonAttack]

"I feel like I've died and gone to Heaven!"

[lonestar]

-They were better with Mangini...

[faizoff]

I hope they play in Chile

[Lonk]

"this will make for a great new bible book"

[Cool Chris]

First this and now people keep asking me to get Styx and Dennis DeYoung back together... What do they think I am, a miracle worker?

[gmillerdrake]

Father forgive them for they know not what they do.....

[hefdaddy42]

what would jesus do?

Oh my

[Stadler]

"That's not what I would do..."   

[Jamesman42]

"don't make jokes about anything that might be slightly offensive"

[TAC]

"I feel like I've died and gone to Heaven!"

I'm going with this one!

Winnah!!

[DragonAttack]

(Woot!  Woot!  I'll slip you a twenty under the table next weekend )

Jingle.boy - 74
gmillerdrake - 54
Podaar - 34
Kinger- 31 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 25
TempusVox - 23
Stadler - 22
TAC - 19
Cool Chris - 19
Sir GuitarCozmo, hefdaddy42 - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist - 8
Zydar, El Barto, Vmadera, wolfking - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, Jamesman - 6
DragonAttack, LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold,  - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, faizoff, XJDenton -  3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827 -  2
Indiscipline, Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1

(I might give this some extra time due to this being Labor Day weekend here)

Next scene.....

A song (or songs) you don't want to hear during your already uncomfortable one hour 'visit' with a dentist / dental hygienist.

[TAC]

AC/DC-Kicked In the Teeth

[lonestar]

Windrose- Diggy Diggy Hole... bonus points if the dentist is under 5'5"



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34CZjsEI1yU

[TAC]

Alice Cooper-Unfinished Sweet

[faizoff]

Van Halen - Poundcake
Pantera - Mouth For War

[Cool Chris]

Judas Priest - Jawbreaker

[King Postwhore]

Take Me - Kiss

The Seinfeld theme song.