Scenes From A Hat v. Rising from the Ashes

[TempusVox]

Bruce Springsteen...More Working Class Songs To Blow Your Brains Out To...

KISS...The SPANX Tour : Live

Queen featuring Lil Wayne

[Stadler]

Dynasty

This one cuts close to the bone, but I still had to laugh...   you're up.   

[TheSilentHam]

This one cuts close to the bone, but I still had to laugh...   you're up.   

Thank you! I knew that would hurt a little    and confession:  I was in grade school when it was released, and just loved it at the time.  I must have been in the target demo.

STANDINGS

jingle.boy   40
gmillerdrake   37
lonestar   25
kingshmegland   16
Tempusvox   15
Podaar   14
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   7
Zydar   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
TheSilentHam   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
DebraKadabra   3
JayOctavarium   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
Cool Chris   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Stadler  1

Scene:

An unusual message to receive from your dry cleaner

[gmillerdrake]

Surprisingly, hot water and soap removed the Horse Semen from your lapel pretty well

[gmillerdrake]

Judging from the receipt you left in your pocket, you were at the Farmer's Market on Elm & Main when diarrhea did indeed strike

[Stadler]

"Your wife's v-neck t-shirts are ready, Mr. Crowell."

[TAC]

"Sir, your wife's dress was ruined because we found these XL condoms in the pocket"

[jingle.boy]

"Sir, your wife's dress was ruined because we found these XL condoms in the pocket"

Yeah, about that .... I hope we can still be friends, Tim.

[Podaar]

To save you money, we didn't bother cleaning this suit, Mr. Ham. No one would actually wear polyester with four buttons.

[jingle.boy]

You're tax return has been submitted.

That's the first time we've seen that color stain in that area of a pair pants.  But, we got it out.

Oh yeah... right there... that's the spot... baaabyyy!!!!  Ohmagod, OHMAGOD.... OHMA FUCKING GOD!!!!  <sigh> You're clothes are going to take a little longer than expected.

Asparagus for dinner last night?

[soupytwist]

Sorry Mr Trump, no matter what we did everything still came out orange.

I hate to ask this....but did you own a pet Hamster, and if so has it erm recently gone missing?

Your tent is ready....oh wait it's NOT a tent?  It's your dinner jacket!?  Wow......

Dear Mr P. Parker your costume is now ready. However can I ask you take the web shooters off next time please, the inside of our machine now reminds me of my wife when she came back from that bukake party.

Your clothes are shit, but at least they are now clean.

[Podaar]

Come on, Bill. Not again.

[jingle.boy]

This is the 80s calling.  Ma'am, we graciously took back your four pastel blazers with the shoulder pads in them. No charge.  Joan Rivers loves them!  Have a blessed day.

[Podaar]

Not need pick up crothes. Rint caught fire. Buirding gone.

[jingle.boy]

You have a collect call for Mrs Floyd from Mr Floyd.  Will you accept the charges from the United States?

[TheSilentHam]

This was so wong, it was right.  Winner!

Not need pick up crothes. Rint caught fire. Buirding gone.

[Podaar]

STANDINGS

jingle.boy   40
gmillerdrake   37
lonestar   25
kingshmegland   16
Tempusvox   15
Podaar   15
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   7
Zydar   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
TheSilentHam   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
DebraKadabra   3
JayOctavarium   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
Cool Chris   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Stadler  1

Scene:

Things you DON'T want to be heard saying when the loud music stops at a party.

[TAC]

I just had an enema.

[TAC]

I wish they'd play some Winger!

[gmillerdrake]

....and so I prefer it in the Butt.....

[Snow Dog]

That girl over there is such a bitch, but I'd fuck her anyway.

[jingle.boy]

I'd bang his wife 7 days a week, and twice on Sundays.

What am I, flypaper for assholes?

LEEROOOYYYY JENKINS!!!!

<And just for Tim>
17?  She's old enough for me.

<and this statement is getting incredibly more disturbing with each passing day, as jingle.daughter turns 17 in August>

[soupytwist]

...yeah, so hoping to make Imperial Wizard next year...

[jingle.boy]

The KKK is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Trump for 2020!!

Hilary for 2020!!!

[TempusVox]

Prog Metal is really the only genre of music worth listening too!

[Snow Dog]

"I'm actually a cop."

"I own all of Nickelback's albums."

[jingle.boy]

Michael Bay is a film-making genius!

Tempus Vox is a hack of an author.

[Podaar]

I laughed hard at both of these because they're both something that you could say in the middle of a normal conversation but be taken the wrong way when the music stops.

....and so I prefer it in the Butt.....

...yeah, so hoping to make Imperial Wizard next year...

I'm going to give the victory to Gary, though. I could see myself talking about Flu Vaccines and not liking how my arm is sore for a week after...and so [music stops]

You're up, dude.

[gmillerdrake]

Thanks Gregg 


STANDINGS

jingle.boy   40
gmillerdrake   38
lonestar   25
kingshmegland   16
Tempusvox   15
Podaar   15
Sir GuitarCozmo   11
BlobVanDam   8
El Barto   7
masterthes   7
Zydar   6
TheLordOfTheStrings   5
MetalJunkie   5
TheSilentHam   5
Mister Gold   4
Jonnybaxy   4
LeeHarveyKennedy   4
DebraKadabra   3
JayOctavarium   3
Master Cup-Zula   3
millahh   3
Prog Snob   3
Scorpion   3
Jarlaxle 3
TAC 2
984759827   2
bout to crash   2
contest_sanity   2
Cool Chris   2
FlyingBIZKIT   2
Jaffa   2
robwebster   2
Ruba   2
Snow Dog 2
Soupytwist 2
Cedar-redaC   1
chknptpie   1
der Ruhige Schinken   1
Fiery Winds   1
FlyingBIZKIT   1
Ħ   1
Jamesman   1
Lolzeez   1
Lucien   1
Pols Voice   1
Ravenheart   1
soundgarden   1
Super Star Wars   1
Stadler  1

Scene:

"Unfortunate" nicknames for elementary school aged children....

[jingle.boy]

Pant Stain Stan

Big Boobs Betty

Hungry Hungry Hannah

BJ (for Betty Jean)

[Cool Chris]

2 real stories, at least I heard them from people I trust.

1) A kid named Andrew Peacock. Shorten his first name and he becomes Drew. Drew Peacock.

2) A kid named Jesse Long (whom I knew, but cannot 100% vouch for this story). His middle name was a family name: Harden. Jesse Harden Long. Went to a judge to have it changed. Judge saw no problem with his request.

[soupytwist]

Doctor Wankinstein.
Death Breath.
The Incredible Sulk.
Erection Slayer.

[TheSilentHam]

The Big Oooops

Fudge Stripe

Ultimate Belieber

Brony Supreme

[jingle.boy]

Snot hanger

Lumpy

Sir Smells-a-lot

Vice Rear Admiral Underpants

[King Postwhore]

Skidmark Sam.

Boogers Face Barry.

Last Picked Larry.