Scenes From A Hat: Round 2

[Elite]

I'd like a threesome with you and my husband.

My husband would like a threesome with you and me.

My husband is a Belieber.

He masturbates to your Facebook photos every day and I can't stop it. Can you please change your privacy settings?

The first time we had sex he couldn't get it up.

I've had five abortions.

*enter random sex joke*

[Podaar]

I wish I knew why he makes me wear your uniform to bed....

Winner, winner, chicken dinner (wrapped in bacon of course). Although it was very close...jingle nearly had the bounce-back victory by using my own play against me. 

Your up chef!

[JayOctavarium]

Have you seen his third nipple?

[lonestar]

Sweetness!!!!

Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 11
lonestar - 9
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 5
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1




If the dog could speak, what would he say when walking in on his owner masturbating (male or female owner)

[jingle.boy]

Meh. 

Bet you wish you could lick that don't ya?

[CodyWanKenobi]

What? No peanut butter this time?

[jingle.boy]

Want some help?

Again!?!  Least he could've done is fed me first.

[Lucien]

I wish I had thumbs...

[BlobVanDam]

You can't even reach it with your own mouth? Sucks to be you.

[gmillerdrake]

Wow....I had no idea a champagne bottle could be used like that....

Hey now....slow down there Master.....you want to leave some skin on that thing.....

Lookey there....you broke your record......5'-8" .....that's quite a distance for a wad to travel.

[senecadawg2]

If only you knew what it felt like to rub that baby up against your own leg...

[lonestar]

I wish I had thumbs...

This one gets the win, you're up Lucien...

[Lucien]

Wow. Never expected to win this game. Thanks lonestar!

Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 11
lonestar - 9
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 5
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1
Lucien - 1

If wasps could speak, arguments they would have with the people they sting.

[lonestar]

God I hope you're allergic...

[Onno]

OK, just a little pinprick...

[jingle.boy]

Suck it up buttercup!  Try getting one of these in your hoo-hoo!

You'll never listen to Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' For You" the same ever again.

[gmillerdrake]

You'd sting the shot out of anything you could to if you had the life span of three days.

Don't act like you didn't like getting that rammed into you....

[TempusVox]

"Who you calling a WASP you JAP bitch?"

[TempusVox]

"Black and Yellow
Black and Yellow
Black and Yellow
Black and Yellow...STAB!"

[Lucien]

You'd sting the shit out of anything you could to if you had the life span of three days.

Winner!

[gmillerdrake]

You'd sting the shit out of anything you could to if you had the life span of three days.

Winner!

Wow....a quick victory! I'll take it!



Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 12
lonestar - 9
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 5
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1
Lucien - 1

Next Scene:

A Father pulls his daughters date to the side just as they are leaving and tells him this.........?

[Jaffa]

"Have you seen the movie Teeth?  I'm just sayin'."

[jingle.boy]

I know 17 ways to make death look like an accident.  Curfew is 11pm.  Have a great night!!

I have the weirdest boner right now.

Chavez, why do you have two buddies in the back of your Celica?

[BlobVanDam]

If you do anything to my daughter, I'll do the same to you............... and yes, that includes the sex stuff.

If she's not back home by 10, you won't make it home at all.

Pay for dinner, and I guarantee she'll put out.

I know Tae Bo, punk.

She has herpes, so I wouldn't if I were you.

[Podaar]

You'll never listen to Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' For You" the same ever again.

I take the weekend off and look what I missed. Canadians are forging crazy man!

[Podaar]

I warmed her up for ya' boyo! [wink]

She was totally cleared of those mutilation charges a few years ago so don't worry too much. Still, try not to make any sudden moves.

Be careful of where you grope. She has anal leakage!

[jingle.boy]

You know Freddie, while you were in the john, I planted some coke somewhere in your car.  Do anything I would disapprove of in any way, and you're one phone call from a very uncomfortable - lube-free - rectal examination.

[gmillerdrake]

Out of the gate Chad was in the lead with two:

I know 17 ways to make death look like an accident.  Curfew is 11pm.  Have a great night!!

I have the weirdest boner right now.

But then BVD hit me with:

Pay for dinner, and I guarantee she'll put out.

I could honestly give Chad the 'W' near ever scene I judge cuz the dude just knows what I think is funny....but BVD ripped this victory from his hands.

You're up BVD!!!

[BlobVanDam]

Thanks! That jingle is always a tough one to look past.

Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 12
lonestar - 9
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 5
BlobVanDam - 5
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1
Lucien - 1


Next Scene:
Australian pickup lines.

Do your worst.

[Zydar]

Today is a g'day to mate.

I wanna throw my shrimp on your barbie.

[lonestar]

You want to go outside? Ok, but you better do anal for that.

[jingle.boy]

Howsabout we go back to my place, and you can eat my dingo, baby!

Wanna bend the banana of a Banana Bender?

[gmillerdrake]

You wanna see where the Croc bit me?

I love your beard, reminds me of me mum

What do you say you let my snake play in your pouch tonight?

[Zydar]

Wanna head to my place and tie me kangaroo down?

[lonestar]

Wanna check out this penal colony baby?