Scenes From A Hat: Round 2

[jingle.boy]

Really?  Sexual Assault is the charge?  Look at the plaintiff ... she's got a face like a collapsed lung and a body by Burger King.  Who would want to touch that?

Judy... what do you say you hold me in contempt in your chambers later? 

The charge is human trafficking, organized prostitution, and drug possession.  My client's name is Zydar.  I got nothing.

[Elite]

'Can't you see he's the man, let me hear you applaud!'

[Lucien]

Really?  Sexual Assault is the charge?  Look at the plaintiff ... she's got a face like a collapsed lung and a body by Burger King.  Who would want to touch that?

Judy... what do you say you hold me in contempt in your chambers later? 

The charge is human trafficking, organized prostitution, and drug possession.  My client's name is Zydar.  I got nothing.

Ahahahaha... 


Look, the victim in question seems to have been raped by a Shetland pony...

[lonestar]

Shit, I think that acid is kicking in....

[Zydar]

[Jaffa]

Sounds like a plan.

Just look at the jury, and .

Case won.

[lonestar]

Hey, can we make sure that cash he paid me in is good before the jury takes these counterfeiting charges to deliberation....

[masterthes]

People of the jury, I can sum up this case in just two simple words: titty sprinkles

[gmillerdrake]

Little bump for a couple more....

[gmillerdrake]

People of the jury, I can sum up this case in just two simple words: titty sprinkles

I have no idea what this means......that's why I like it. You're up!

[masterthes]

Standings:

jingle.boy - 13
gmillerdrake - 11
lonestar - 8
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 4
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1

Let's try this one. Unused celebrity epitaphs

[TempusVox]

Don Adams (from Get Smart ) "Immortality...Missed it by THAT much!"

Count Dracula  1066
                        1244
                        1362
                        1435
                        1589
                        1744
                        1813
                        1969

Mama Cass:
"She caught a chickenbone in her throat
Which made her sing an angels note"

[jingle.boy]

Amelia Earhart:  Refused to ask for directions.

Christopher Columbus:  Refused to as for directions.

James Bowie:  Where'd all those Mexicans come from?

James Brown:  Not feelin very good right now

Heath Ledger:  And there ......... I ......... went.....

Kim Jong Il:  I'm so ronery.

(and the not dead yet)

Morgan Freeman:  You're hearing my voice as you read this.

James LaBrie:  RAAAAWWWWWRRRRRR!

Willie Nelson:  Pot ... not even once.

[King Postwhore]

Michael Jackson  --  White as a ghost I lay.


John Holmes  --  You can pipe anything underground.


John Candy -- Sweet, I'm dead.

[jingle.boy]

Chris Farley - Shoulda had decaf more often.

Steve Jobs - Three finger salute!

Martin Luther King - Livin the dream!

(And the not dead yet)

Arnold Schwarzenegger - I'm not coming back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger - It WAS a tumor!

[Jaffa]

Heath Ledger:  And there ......... I ......... went.....

[gmillerdrake]

Sadaam Hussein - Just Hangin' Out

Kurt Kobain - The Art of sitting Shotgun

Princess Diana - Ridin' Along in my Automobile.....

JFK Jr. - Up, down...left, right.......who really knows when you fly at night

Richy Valenze - From Star to impacted Meteor

[masterthes]

jingle.boy wins. You're up sir!

[jingle.boy]

Wahoo!  Quick victory... I'll take it.  Any particular one, or am I just totally covered in hilarity?!? 

Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 11
lonestar - 8
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 4
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1

The phrase/comment that elicits a response of "There's something you don't hear everyday".
(this is inspired by jingle.son's comment the other day - jokingly! - "This is my favorite episode of Honey Boo Boo")

[masterthes]

Probably the Heath Ledger one

Justin Bieber is the John Lennon for the 21st century

That Miley Cyrus is so damn classy

[gmillerdrake]

Wahoo!  Quick victory... I'll take it.  Any particular one, or am I just totally covered in hilarity?!? 

No, I think it's more along the lines of you are full of.....something.....I just can't quite recall what it is you're completely full of.

[gmillerdrake]

A Nun Queef.

ANY politician admit wrong doing.

[gmillerdrake]

Jenna Jameson say "That's too big"

[gmillerdrake]

A Priest stubs his toe on a door as he walks into a restaurant.....shouts "God Da%n It!"

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

JP:  Let's write a short song.  Under 8 minutes is short, right?  Guys?

[Podaar]

"I really don't mind having anal leakage."

[Lucien]

But My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic IS a great show!


Shoot me, Hef 

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Kim K: "I really regret that my claim to fame is getting hollowed out on video by some B-list rapper."

[jingle.boy]

"I really don't mind having anal leakage."

There's something you don't hear every day!!

You be up.

[Podaar]

"I really don't mind having anal leakage."

There's something you don't hear every day!!

Depends.

Thanks! I'll think of something soon I promise. It's 6:55 a.m. here and the coffee's not quite working.

[Podaar]

Standings:

jingle.boy - 14
gmillerdrake - 11
lonestar - 8
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 5
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
BlobVanDam - 4
Scorpion - 3
Zydar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
masterthes - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
soundgarden - 1

Today's Scene: Too much information moments by the spouse of your boss.

[edit] I thought this would generate more interest. I'll modify it slightly to include: Things you never want to hear your the spouse of your boss say. [/edit]

[Zydar]

"You know, the reason why he takes out his anger on you and your fellow colleagues is that his dick once got bitten off by a rabid chihuahua."

[jingle.boy]

He hasn't asked invited you to the swinger's party we're hosting tomorrow?

I really don't mind anal leakage.

Toilet paper is just too damned expensive.  I refuse to purchase anything you literally just flush away.

We absolutely love living in California.  It beats living in Utah, where he just couldn't shake off the pedophilia charges.

If he didn't manscape, he'd look like he's wearing a cashmere sweater when he's topless.  He's got a hairy ass too.

[lonestar]

I wish I knew why he makes me wear your uniform to bed....

[gmillerdrake]

He told me one night in a drunken stupor that he wanted to drink your semen from a hollow removed dolls head.

It's difficult to please him due to his micro-penis.....so I just buy nursing kittens to relieve the stress for him.

Honestly, I thought it was odd the first time I found him lying in a plastic baby pool full of dish soap....but after I witnessed what those three drunk Mexican Men come and do to him every Thursday night....I agree it's best to thoroughly cleanse.