Scenes From A Hat: Round 2

[jingle.boy]

I may not be your husband, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.....

Hopefully they cleaned the sheets for ya.  Winner!

[lonestar]

Thanks man with the jinglers....

The standings...

jingle.boy - 8
lonestar - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
TempusVox -4
gmillerdrake - 3
Scorpion - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash- 2
Sir GuitarCozmo-2
TheSilentHam - 2
Podaar - 2
BlobVanDam - 2
El Barto - 1
Ruba - 1
Zydar - 1
J8VRM- 1
Lolzeez- 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1




New scene: Really bad ideas for "spicing up" a marriage....

[gmillerdrake]

Jalapeño flavored lube....

Bringing home three Mexicans you found walking on the highway to 'join in'

[Elite]

Red Hot Chilli Pepper condoms.

[gmillerdrake]

Hun, I brought my high school girlfriend who was great in bed to sit in and watch, give some pointers to you.

[Podaar]

Inviting Mandingo over for a three-way.

Mounting handle-bars on the headboard.

Eucalyptus K Y Gel

[jingle.boy]

The Mrs. suggesting a double ended "sausage"

The Mrs. suggesting an outing with all her girlfriends to go see The Dancing Bear

Role playing - Zed and "The Gimp"

Whipped cream, chocolate sauce and wasabi

[CodyWanKenobi]

Okay.. Spice Girl's first album in the CD player? Check. Mango/Lime salsa inside your pussy? Check. The speedo Pedro wore while representing Mexico during the 1996 Olympics? Check. Okay senorita... Give me my sombrero.. I'm going in.

[King Postwhore]

Honey, I really want to get horny, let's watch a Teletubby episode first.

[Lucien]

Honey, I really want to get horny, let's watch a Teletubby episode fist.

[King Postwhore]

Honey, I really want to get horny, let's watch a Teletubby episode fist.

See, it's a winner!

[lonestar]

Mounting handle-bars on the headboard.

Winner, mainly because I have to try this someday. You're up man....

[Podaar]

Thanks Lonestar! When you try out the handle-bars, remember to sing out, "Born to be wiiiiild!"

The standings...

jingle.boy - 8
lonestar - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
TempusVox -4
gmillerdrake - 3
Scorpion - 3
Podaar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash- 2
Sir GuitarCozmo-2
TheSilentHam - 2
BlobVanDam - 2
El Barto - 1
Ruba - 1
Zydar - 1
J8VRM- 1
Lolzeez- 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1

Scene: Pet names for your spouse that aren't appropriate for general public consumption.

[jingle.boy]

Mail order bride

Smelly snapper

Hairy butt

[lonestar]

Cum junkie

[jonnybaxy]

semen guzzling whore bag 

[CodyWanKenobi]

smile Rag

"clean yoself up bitch"

[King Postwhore]

And this is my other ride.

[gmillerdrake]

Tootie booty

Knick knack knockers

Prison Guard with Benefits

Erection Climber

Semen Prospector

smile Whiz

Cum Catcher

[masterthes]

Backdoor Bitch

Cum Guzzler

Titty Sprinkles

[gmillerdrake]

Mistress Inducer

Joy Killer

Semen Vacuum

Hey you

Woman (said in your best drunken red neck voice, arm half raised to smack)

[TheSilentHam]

Boskette

[jingle.boy]

The not-so-silent Ham.

Pooper trooper

Chin splash

Pearl

[Podaar]

I'll keep this round open for a few more hours. I'm still hoping to get some contributions from the 'not-so-usual-suspects'.

[jonnybaxy]

My 2nd best wife.

smile sock.

(this round is just a pool of curses and disgusting-ness  )

[Podaar]

This one sounded the most likely to be an accidental pet name.

Tootie booty

Winner. gmillerdrake, you're up.



On a personal note: There were a number of downright offensive (dare I say misogynistic) entries here. I sincerely hope some of you don't have significant-others.   

[gmillerdrake]

Awesome!!! thanks..

The standings...

jingle.boy - 8
lonestar - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
gmillerdrake - 4
TempusVox -4
Scorpion - 3
Podaar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash- 2
Sir GuitarCozmo-2
TheSilentHam - 2
BlobVanDam - 2
El Barto - 1
Ruba - 1
Zydar - 1
J8VRM- 1
Lolzeez- 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1


Scene:
     Alternate uses for everyday Items...

[CodyWanKenobi]

Woman: Hmmmm, can't seem to find my dildo.. I guess I'll just have to use my copy of Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes From A Memory instead...

[jingle.boy]

No kindling for the fire?  Use tampons - absorb fast; burn slow

Spilled milk. Tampax will sop up a whole carton

[jonnybaxy]

Chainsaw: a pubic hair trimmer

[Podaar]

Using a paper-hole punch to remove a skin tag on your eyelid.

[jingle.boy]

Your spouse's toothbrush to itch that hemorrhoid.

Duct tape for any and everything.

Your cat to untangle headphone cords.

[gmillerdrake]

Your spouse's toothbrush to itch that hemorrhoid

No need for further submissions!! This is just wrong and hilarious at once. Your up Chad.

[jingle.boy]

Coolio.

Le standings...

jingle.boy - 9
lonestar - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
gmillerdrake - 4
TempusVox -4
Scorpion - 3
Podaar - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash- 2
Sir GuitarCozmo-2
TheSilentHam - 2
BlobVanDam - 2
El Barto - 1
Ruba - 1
Zydar - 1
J8VRM- 1
Lolzeez- 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1

Today's scene...

Something you wouldn't expect to hear in wedding vows.

[Ruba]

"My ex's was bigger than yours, but because you are such a tender and caring man, I can forgive you."