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Author Topic: I wanna become a "Before" model  (Read 3759 times)

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Offline black_biff_stadler

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I wanna become a "Before" model
« on: August 20, 2012, 01:11:22 PM »
I've gained about 20 lbs. in the last year and have a massive forehead indicative of middle-stage male pattern baldness. This means not only could I pose for "before" pics in fitness commercials but I could also work the hair restoration circuit. Furthermore, they usually go with fairly attractive folks for the "after" pics anyway so my dee-lish baby blues would likely match the powder blue peepers of whatever better-looking chaps they pair my pics up with pretty closely. Frankly, being blessed with this bevy of Madison Avenue mediocrity, I think I'd be slapping god across the face if I didn't put it all to good use.

What say you, DTF?

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Offline rogerdil

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2012, 01:27:29 PM »
You're "after" in my book, bro.
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Offline MasterShakezula

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2012, 01:29:25 PM »
Blackwater, my man, you are underselling yourself and you know it.   ;)
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2012, 01:30:08 PM »
Quote from: rogerdil on August 20, 2012, 01:27:29 PM
You're "after" in my book, bro.

Quote from: MasterShakezula on August 20, 2012, 01:29:25 PM
Blackwater, my man, you are underselling yourself and you know it.   ;)

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Online Chino

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2012, 01:39:03 PM »
That pic makes me think of Charlie from Lost
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2012, 01:59:53 PM »
Small woodland creatures could get lost in that beard.
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2012, 02:13:47 PM »
Dude... quit being a drama queen. :lol

 :)
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Offline Dr. DTVT

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2012, 02:35:27 PM »
To become the "before" you have to get fatter than me.

And you don't want to do that until I lose a good bit of weight.
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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2012, 04:59:51 PM »
You're so beautiful, you could be a part-time model.
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2012, 05:06:51 PM »
 :rollin
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Offline rumborak

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2012, 05:21:29 PM »
The ex-wife of a coworker of mine actually did that, but in reverse. She got pretty fat and sent her two photos to a weight loss program, claiming before was after. Got some nice money because they published that.
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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2012, 05:23:41 PM »
Maybe you should just keep gaining weight. If you work hard enough, you might be able to get on to The Biggest Loser  :tup
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2012, 05:23:47 PM »
Quote from: senecadawg2 on August 20, 2012, 04:59:51 PM
You're so beautiful, you could be a part-time model.



Quote from: rumborak on August 20, 2012, 05:21:29 PM
The ex-wife of a coworker of mine actually did that, but in reverse. She got pretty fat and sent her two photos to a weight loss program, claiming before was after. Got some nice money because they published that.

Costanza level: 9  :metal :metal
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2012, 05:25:30 PM »
Quote from: senecadawg2 on August 20, 2012, 05:23:41 PM
Maybe you should just keep gaining weight. If you work hard enough, you might be able to get on to The Biggest Loser  :tup

I live at home at 31 years of age, ain't got a car and get less ass than a piss-covered toilet seat these days. I scoff at the notion of needing to be portly to prove one's elite-level loserdom :yeahright
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Offline Gadough

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2012, 05:28:17 PM »
So, wait...






...which one is you?
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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2012, 05:29:32 PM »
I think he's the pretty one with all the facial hair...
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Offline Gadough

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #16 on: August 20, 2012, 05:30:17 PM »
That doesn't help.

im still confuz
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Online Adami

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #17 on: August 20, 2012, 05:32:43 PM »
I agree actually.




Before.



After.

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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #18 on: August 20, 2012, 05:33:31 PM »
The only issue is that they look the exact same. It's uncanny
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Offline rumborak

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #19 on: August 20, 2012, 05:41:20 PM »
Only that Before looks like Aragorn at the Verizon store.
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #20 on: August 20, 2012, 05:50:55 PM »
Quote from: Gadough on August 20, 2012, 05:28:17 PM






Quote from: senecadawg2 on August 20, 2012, 05:33:31 PM
The only issue is that they look the exact same. It's uncanny

I still gotta give the nod to Viggo since if I knew neither of us and was a goil, I'd probably wanna fuck him more than me.
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #21 on: August 20, 2012, 06:20:51 PM »
Quote from: Adami on August 20, 2012, 05:32:43 PM
I agree actually.




Before.



After.



Hi there.  I'm Debra.  Let me sit on your lap and we can yak about the first thing that pops up. :drool: :hearts:
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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #22 on: August 20, 2012, 06:36:18 PM »
Quote from: black_floyd on August 20, 2012, 05:50:55 PM
I still gotta give the nod to Viggo since if I knew neither of us and was a goil, I'd probably wanna fuck him more than me.

Debatable.
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #23 on: August 20, 2012, 06:37:03 PM »
Quote from: senecadawg2 on August 20, 2012, 06:36:18 PM
Quote from: black_floyd on August 20, 2012, 05:50:55 PM
I still gotta give the nod to Viggo since if I knew neither of us and was a goil, I'd probably wanna fuck him more than me.

Debatable.

TRUTH.  Viggo is the bees knees.
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Offline The King in Crimson

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #24 on: August 20, 2012, 06:39:30 PM »
Quote from: rumborak on August 20, 2012, 05:41:20 PM
Only that Before looks like Aragorn at the Verizon store.
*Insert joke about Strider's data package here*
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #25 on: August 20, 2012, 06:41:23 PM »
*Deb leaves thread before she becomes a mere puddle of nothingness*

 :heart

:ontome:
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Offline rumborak

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #26 on: August 20, 2012, 06:47:48 PM »
Quote from: The King in Crimson on August 20, 2012, 06:39:30 PM
Quote from: rumborak on August 20, 2012, 05:41:20 PM
Only that Before looks like Aragorn at the Verizon store.
*Insert joke about Strider's data package here*

*inserts joke how Aragorn conquered a long shaft with an eye at the top by enlisting an old dude with a long and hard staff*
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Offline Zook

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #27 on: August 21, 2012, 03:19:44 AM »
I didn't know CM Punk posted here.
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Offline VioletS16

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #28 on: August 21, 2012, 11:26:41 AM »
Floyd, you should be an eyeshadow model. As long as nobody sees the rest of your face and realizes you are a dude. Because you have really pretty eyes of which I am jealous  :-[
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Offline DebraKadabra

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #29 on: August 21, 2012, 11:50:22 AM »
Quote from: Zook on August 21, 2012, 03:19:44 AM
I didn't know CM Punk posted here.

 :rollin :clap:
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #30 on: August 21, 2012, 02:46:41 PM »
Quote from: VioletS16 on August 21, 2012, 11:26:41 AM
Floyd, you should be an eyeshadow model. As long as nobody sees the rest of your face and realizes you are a dude. Because you have really pretty eyes of which I am jealous  :-[

Thanks :blush :)

I'll supply you with a DNA implant pack for my eyes if you do likewise with your awesome hair. I think I could pull off a Johnny Galecki (Big Bang Theory) back in his days as Becky's bf on Roseanne thing with your excellent coif.

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Offline bout to crash

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #31 on: August 26, 2012, 01:21:51 AM »
More!
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #32 on: August 26, 2012, 11:32:10 AM »
Galecki or me?
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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #33 on: August 26, 2012, 12:14:19 PM »
Quote from: black_floyd on August 26, 2012, 11:32:10 AM
Galecki with me?

Jackie and her fantasy answer.
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Offline black_biff_stadler

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Re: I wanna become a "Before" model
« Reply #34 on: August 26, 2012, 03:42:04 PM »
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