Song plan/Lyrics for an opening song (Progressive metal) on our EP

[DejaVu]

Right, this is my fourth band and we're called 'Eyes Of Existence'. We're a progressive rock/metal band, and heavily influenced by bands such as (you guessed it!) Dream Theater, Coheed and Cambria and even parts of generic metal bands such as Avenged Sevenfold. The age range of the band ranges from 16-18.

We've been working on the opening song for a few days now, and we want it to come with a bang this time! So we've been listening to The Glass Prison recently, as that seems an effective opener and come up with a heavy rocking song, we called it 'Crossing The Threshold'.

It's based off a dream I had a while ago about crossing into unknown boundaries, and being dragged to the ground by what I dreamt as 'dream demons' or Incubi to be literal. So after researching into it via dream books and the internet, the theory of what is called 'Crossing the Threshold' became most applicable.

I've decided to start the song off with a harsh organ sound on the keyboard, to give it a creepy, nightmare feel, then a calm guitar section comes into it (similar to OTBoA). A snappy drum fill brings us into the heavy portion of the song, and there will be a nice chugging instrumental section. After that the song hits a breakdown for a while, which builds up into the verse sections. These sections are heavily influenced by Avenged Sevenfold 'The Beast and The Harlot' verse style. There's also a short solo after the second verse which was based off ANTR solo's. After the chorus it then goes into a calmer section, similar to the intro, a calmer verse section will be in there. It will then kick back into the heavy portion into the chorus and then into a lengthier solo/instrumental. Then maybe the chorus one last time, but end the song by linking into the calmer section.

We're aiming for about 6-7 minutes in length for this song. And the lyrics are still unfinished at the moment, I wouldn't mind opinions and constructive criticizm.

[Keyboard introduction = 0:00 - 0:10]

[Guitar intro = 0:10 - 0:50]

[Heavy instrumental = 0:50 - 1:30]

[Breakdown = 1:30 - 1:50]

[Verse 1 = 1:50 - 1:58]
My fractured heart has got the key,
The gate has opened up for me,
The spirit inside has set me free,
For my enemies it's not the end of me!

[Verse 2 = 1:58 - 2:14]
Those demons,
Plague me insane,
My feelings,
Filled with my pain,

[Short solo = 2:14 - 2:28]

[Verse 3 = 2:28 - 2:36]
The shadowed house has closed it's door,
As my shattered body hits the floor,
My fractured heart is not the key,
As there's an evil spirit inside of me!

[Verse 4 = 2:36 - 2:52]
Oh please can,
Somebody help me,
My heart is,
Crumbling to pieces,

[Chorus 1 = 2:52 - 3:12]
When you're lost in a dream!
And there's no way out,
Whoa-oh whoa-ah!
Don't run it'll only come faster!

There's a place you've never seen!
Don't step through that door,
Whoa-oh whoa-ah!
You'll be thrown down to the ground.

[Calmer, ambient section = 3:12 - 3:32]

[Verse 5 = 3:32 - 3:50 ]
Open your eyes,
You've seen brighter skies in the day,
A world left behind,
And memories that are soon to decay,

[Calm chorus = 3:50 - 4:06]
Wake me up,
Out of the sleepless nightmare dreaming of,
The great unknown,

Break me up,
All I feel is angels grasping my arms,
Take me out this world,

[Bridge = 4:06 - 4:22]
Whoa, (to the calm chorus melody x2)
   
[Calm chorus 1 = 4:22 - 4:38]
Wake me up,
Out of the sleepless nightmare dreaming of,
The great unknown,

Break me up,
All I feel is angels grasping my arms,
Crossing the threshold!

[Heavy epic instrumental/solo = 4:38 - 5:20]

[Calm chorus 2 = 5:20 - 5:36]
Wake me up,
Out of the sleepless nightmare dreaming of,
The great unknown,

Break me up,
All I feel is angels grasping my arms,
Take me out this world,

[Endtro = 5:36 - 5:50]


Thanks, DejaVu x

[MasterShakezula]

It seems like it could be interesting, musically.  Show me a recording, when you have one.  Only then would I really be able to comment.  So, I'd say go for it, and see how it turns out.

[DejaVu]

^Thank you, and we're really putting our hearts into this one. We tend to get bored doing generic music, we attempted post-hardcore and that failed in the last band, we only managed 2 songs and lost interest.

This however, is a bigger challenge. It might be a while until we get a recording, might take a shot next week at rehearsal and get that up here if it's decent.

[Guitalguy]

Sounds nice! I like the lyrics, nice flow. It would be very cool to hear a recording of it sometime! Get it up here when it's finished  

[FlyingBIZKIT]

I like it. Can't wait to hear it. 

[DejaVu]

I've updated the lyrics, got pretty much the entire song written, just need to polish it up a little and probably change some of the corny metal lyrics in there. I'm debating whether to remove Chorus 1, it just makes the song a bit too much, we'll test it out this weekend and update you on how it goes.

Thanks for the support guys! Chris.