Am I a bad person?

[Stadler]

Some of these things sound like rules, and I don't see how these rules can be one size fits all.

I'm not seeing where anyone said that.   

No one did, you're right; I really meant that literally, that "it's not been said but I'm struggling to not hear it as if it sounds like...".   I'm not suggesting I'm right.  I'm trying to get across that this is a rickety boat in uncertain seas for me.   

[bosk1]

Oh I have no doubt that men can feel objectified sexually too.  I also have no doubt that some people ENJOY feeling objectified.  I was making a comment on how commonplace it can be for women moreso than for men.

I was going to respond along similar lines before I got to your post.  Yeah, it happens to men.  But talking relative numbers, it happens far, FAR more often in the direction of mean objectifying women than vice versa.  That has been a societal problem for as long as there have been societies, unfortunately. 

[Skeever]

Which is ironic and counter productive.  If the "self-repression" was so healthy and effective, we wouldn't be where we are.

Totally. I would say there are plenty of issues related to these topics now, they're just manifesting differently than they did before and going unaddressed.

I'm quoting your post here because it kind of hits on what I keep thinking back to reading this last page. I would suggest that the tendency to objectify women has gone back thousands of years, be it prehistoric man or Eve getting us tossed the hell out of Eden. That to me suggests biological/instinctive. Or perhaps just thousands of years of conditioning. The important thing here, in my opinion, is that over the last however many thousands of years we're evolving right on out of that mentality. This won't be of any comfort to the women who feel they've been objectified, and it's no defense to that objectification, but I think it's reasonable to recognize that things have improved and are continuing to improve. I'm not sure that simply calling it a character flaw that somebody hasn't evolved quite as fast as we'd like is entirely fair. Societal change, which is what we're talking about here, is glacial in its progress.

There has definitely been a change in societal norms but I wouldn't rule out a biological change too. In addition to dietary and lifestyle changes there's the whole rabbit's hole of fetal testosterone levels and other breaking discoveries that I know I'm personally not prepared to dive into here, but I suffice to say I would not be surprised if a whole range of social and biological things provide a great deal of influence on attraction and how it will manifest itself going forward.

[King Postwhore]

Not that what I'm about to say is a negative but reading Skeever's post reminded me that women are much more aggressive in their driving then 15 years ago.  I never saw a female with a lead foot.  Now so many girls pass me on the highway I think I'm getting old.

[TAC]

I think it's you!

I drive fast, but when I met my wife, she drove wicked fast, it was hard to keep up. But now she drives like an old lady. Even worse, she's an awful passenger, bracing for an accident at every turn.

[cramx3]

My x was a fast driver, I don't really recall any shift in the females on the road.  I think a lot of people generally drive faster these days though including myself.

[Lonk]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

[TAC]

My x was a fast driver, I don't really recall any shift in the females on the road. I think a lot of people generally drive faster these days though including myself.

Yeah, everyone except Joe.. and my wife.

[bosk1]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

For me, it's context specific.  If it's on a stretch of 2-lane country road with poor visibility, 5 MPH over can be "too fast."  On an open stretch of freeway with light traffic, it can be...a lot faster than that.

[XJDenton]

Honestly, in some circumstances, the limit can be too fast. People who drive 70 mph in the rain are asking for trouble IMO.

[Chino]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

Completely relative to your surroundings. In CT, I'd say "fast driving" (assuming highway) is when you start hitting triple digits. I regularly have state troopers come up behind me while I'm doing 20+ over the limit, and I don't even brake. I just signal, lane change, and then let them pass.

[El Barto]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

Most of my daily commute is through residential neighborhoods with narrow streets and cars parked on either side. If I see somebody driving 30 I shake my head. I don't want to hit a dog, or somebody's idiot kid running out between cars. Driving back from South Texas a few weeks ago I hit 120 for a stretch, and averaged 87 for the trip. Most of my driving was between 90-100, and that was solely because I never want to be the fastest driver. This was on the interstate. For part of that trip there's a toll road with a posted limit of 85 and 100 would be the norm.

That reminds me, I need to get my wheels re-balanced.

[King Postwhore]

My x was a fast driver, I don't really recall any shift in the females on the road. I think a lot of people generally drive faster these days though including myself.

Yeah, everyone except Joe.. and my wife.

   I had a girl give me a dirty look as I was going 85 in the middle lane and she passed me on the left and shot me a "Get out of my way old man" look.   I though 85 was fast.

[cramx3]

I wish we had those 75 or 85 speed limits here, but NJ is notorious for bad driving (I blame the NYers though, not that NJ drivers are good either) so we only get up to 65 and I'd say over 80 you are going fast because at 80 you are going faster than 95% of the vehicles on the road.  I drive between 80 and 85 these days.  I also like EB's rule of not being the fastest driver on the road.  I think this is how I've avoided getting a speeding ticket the last about 18 years even though I am almost always speeding.  Also I think driving an innocent looking civic helps avoid the cops.

[Lonk]

Yeah I was thinking good weather/good visibility driving through the highway.

In NY, most of our highways are 55 or 65 upstate, and the most I do is 75, and that is fast for me. Rarely have I ever gone to 80 or above for a stretch of time.

Residential areas I stick to the limit (25 here in the city).

[Spiritus]

Funny to read the OP and the post above lol. From a personal relationship post to highway speed limits.

[King Postwhore]

Funny to read the OP and the post above lol. From a personal relationship post to highway speed limits.

Still about the ladies. 

[Stadler]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

Completely relative to your surroundings. In CT, I'd say "fast driving" (assuming highway) is when you start hitting triple digits. I regularly have state troopers come up behind me while I'm doing 20+ over the limit, and I don't even brake. I just signal, lane change, and then let them pass.

100%.  I'm a lead foot myself - I'll regularly cruise I-91 at 85 - and I get passed on the regular.   Which, of course, makes the dork in the left lane who won't move over that much more dangerous.

[Stadler]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

Most of my daily commute is through residential neighborhoods with narrow streets and cars parked on either side. If I see somebody driving 30 I shake my head. I don't want to hit a dog, or somebody's idiot kid running out between cars. Driving back from South Texas a few weeks ago I hit 120 for a stretch, and averaged 87 for the trip. Most of my driving was between 90-100, and that was solely because I never want to be the fastest driver. This was on the interstate. For part of that trip there's a toll road with a posted limit of 85 and 100 would be the norm.

That reminds me, I need to get my wheels re-balanced.

Yeah, it's about the "dogs" or the "kids".  It's the coeds. 

[Adami]

Off topic, what do you guys consider "fast driving"? is it 5mph above speed limit? 10mph? 20? Anything under 90 is slow?

Completely relative to your surroundings. In CT, I'd say "fast driving" (assuming highway) is when you start hitting triple digits. I regularly have state troopers come up behind me while I'm doing 20+ over the limit, and I don't even brake. I just signal, lane change, and then let them pass.

100%.  I'm a lead foot myself - I'll regularly cruise I-91 at 85 - and I get passed on the regular.   Which, of course, makes the dork in the left lane who won't move over that much more dangerous.

Can you just drive…..55?

[cramx3]

I can't

[Stadler]

Go on, write me up for 125, or post my face wanted dead or alive.  Take my license, all that jive, I can't drive 55. 

[TAC]

Gonna put you in a one two three lock box.

[Stadler]

Suckers walk, money talks, but it can't touch my three lock box.

I love that album.  Second favorite Sam record (Standing Hampton is no. 1).

[TAC]

Standing Hampton…1981!!

[jingle.boy]

How did we get to the Hamptons?

[TAC]

[TheCountOfNYC]

Now that this thread has gone completely off the rails, here’s an update. I told my girlfriend about my plans and she was more upset that I didn’t invite her than that I was hanging out with a single girl. My friend from work was honest with me and said that while she is attracted to me, she respects me and my relationship and won’t make a move. I ended up hanging out with her and it was a great night.

[TAC]

Now that this thread has gone completely off the rails, here’s an update. I told my girlfriend about my plans and she was more upset that I didn’t invite her than that I was hanging out with a single girl. My friend from work was honest with me and said that while she is attracted to me, she respects me and my relationship and won’t make a move. I ended up hanging out with her and it was a great night.

That is planting the seed.

[Adami]

Now that this thread has gone completely off the rails, here’s an update. I told my girlfriend about my plans and she was more upset that I didn’t invite her than that I was hanging out with a single girl. My friend from work was honest with me and said that while she is attracted to me, she respects me and my relationship and won’t make a move. I ended up hanging out with her and it was a great night.

That is planting the seed.

Nah, that comes later when he’s had a wee too much to drink.

[TAC]

Now that this thread has gone completely off the rails, here’s an update. I told my girlfriend about my plans and she was more upset that I didn’t invite her than that I was hanging out with a single girl. My friend from work was honest with me and said that while she is attracted to me, she respects me and my relationship and won’t make a move. I ended up hanging out with her and it was a great night.

That is planting the seed.

Nah, that comes later when he’s had a wee too much to drink.

That's actually watering the seed.

[King Postwhore]

The seed wants to be watered.

Also, the beautiful flower he's with is upset and he still went.

[wolfking]

Hmmm....random thought but thinking about it now, I think I drive like an old fart.   

[TAC]

You probably run faster!

[King Postwhore]

Hmmm....random thought but thinking about it now, I think I drive like an old fart.   

Welcome to old age.