Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my friend)

[AcidLameLTE]

Tell her that if she doesn't let you go, you'll stick in the cheapest, crappiest old folks home you can find (when she gets to that age).

[metalandi]

Okay, after this post i have no questions anymore, everything is clear for me now. You seriously have tpo get out there, by any costs. Buy the damn ticket and have fun at the gig. It will absolutely worth it, more worth than keep sitting at home and doing what mom demands. You need to break free of that shell, or you will never be able to have your own, happy life. It sounds harsh, but it's the truth..i know what i'm talking about.

[Perpetual Change]

If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house, why are you still asking your parents for permission to go to concerts?

I've been following the thread though, and I think I can provide some kind of explanation.  In short, I think you should go to the show, but listen to your parents.

There's a reason why your parents are acting this way, and I'm not sure you're telling us that part of it.  From my own experiences I'm guessing, like my parents, yours want you to get a job.

You're 18, graduating high school, etc.  You're basically at that point in your life where, unless you're going away to university and/or working full time, your parents are going to start scratching their heads when they look at you. If you're spending money while you don't  have a job, or while they're scrambling to make that first university payment, they're probably going to be even more annoyed.  

Basically, your dad is right.  

Right now you should either be a.) working to help pay for the looming tuition bills or b.) working and saving up so you can eventually get a better job, move out, etc. If you're doing either of those things, who cares if you make a little extra and want to go to a concert? You shouldn't even have to ask permission. But something tells me that since your mom thinks you "always" asking for things you're not in the habit of working for the things you have.  If that's true, then yeah, I can see where your parents are coming from. The sooner you get in the habit of changing that the better-- especially if you plan on living with your rents for a couple more years.

So listen to your dad. Time to grow up, be responsible, make your own decisions (and be able to pay for them on your own; not because you got 5 bank cards in the mail). Sorry if that sounds a little harsh.

[Plasmastrike]

Your rents are ridiculous.

[Shadow2222]

If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house, why are you still asking your parents for permission to go to concerts?

I've been following the thread though, and I think I can provide some kind of explanation.  In short, I think you should go to the show, but listen to your parents.

There's a reason why your parents are acting this way, and I'm not sure you're telling us that part of it.  From my own experiences I'm guessing, like my parents, yours want you to get a job.

Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.

[Perpetual Change]

You might have to lower your standards while your looking. No one wants to do fastfood or supermarkets, but sometimes those places are always hiring (because people are always quitting.)

As I found, I think you'll find your parents will really get off your back once they see you working.

[hefdaddy42]

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days. 

[Perpetual Change]

I worked at Taco Bell for like a year. It was my first job. And it SUCKED. Then I got a job at a Staples that was opening up. It was MUCH better. Now I work on my campus. You can't work more than 20 hrs a week, but the work is a joke (hence the DTF activity).

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days. 

Yeah. I hear ya. I only said that because every time I meet someone desperately looking for (and unable to find) a job, they offer the same excuse, "oh, I don't want to be around food," etc.

[AcidLameLTE]

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days.  

Indeed. I worked at a Sainburys last year.

[Setlist Scotty]

I mean, she got like this for 2-3 months last year, and she just becomes a (sorry Mom) total bitch. She gets ignorant about everything, she won't let me do anything. I just don't know what to do.

Am I the first to wonder if she's going thru menopause? Could be the reason why she's gotten this way. Another thing that probably is the case is she is a bit upset that her "baby" (you) is growing up and wanting more freedom - your parents sound like they might be a bit restrictive/protective. If you're the oldest, the baby or the only child, there's a good chance this is a part of it.

That said, as others correctly guessed, the job thing obviously is bugging them. So make sure that you're not being lazy and get a job. Yeah you sent out 11 applications and didn't get a call, but don't give up and be persistent (but not obnoxious) with the companies that you contacted - if you show that you're seriously interested in working for them, they may consider hiring you the moment a position opens up. And as others pointed out, if not, do not think too much of yourself to accept a fastfood or grocery store job for the time being.

One other thing you might want to consider (tho the job thing may make it difficult) - if you're mother seems to be unreasonable, talk to your father and try to reason with him, and then maybe ask him to help you reason with your mother.

[bosk1]

That said, as others correctly guessed, the job thing obviously is bugging them. So make sure that you're not being lazy and get a job. Yeah you sent out 11 applications and didn't get a call, but don't give up and be persistent (but not obnoxious) with the companies that you contacted - if you show that you're seriously interested in working for them, they may consider hiring you the moment a position opens up. And as others pointed out, if not, do not think too much of yourself to accept a fastfood or grocery store job for the time being.

I completely agree.  And I'm not saying you are being lazy or anything, but 11 applications really isn't very much of a job search.  Seriously.  You can try harder than that.  What I do for a living is pretty specialized, and I don't work in a very large job market, but I know if I were looking for a job, even without deviating from my specialty or going outside my geographic region, I could put out a lot more than 11.

[popol]

listen bro

if you still need your mom's approval on every decision you make, maybe you're not old enough to decide for yourself.

maybe what you need to do is take a step back and consider the pros and cons. yes you're obsessed with DT, but you're still young and probably don't have much cash to blow on concerts. maybe your mom is actually right. I mean, why did you even tell her about it in the first place? Did you ask permission? If you ask permission to your mom, she'll decide in your place, but if you take your own decisions without asking, you'll show her that you're an adult and she might give you more freedom.

I know that DT rotates setlist and are a good live band, but IMO, you'll be fine with only one show. Paying for two shows would've been worth it if they were still doing the one evening with DT shows. nowadays, I don't think it really is worth it. actually, the only reason why I got a ticket to see DT/Maiden is cause I can spend that kind of money if I want to. I've seen Maiden twice and DT 4 times. I'm not really excited anymore about seeing them anymore, to be honest with you.

[TAC]

Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.

You're 18 and NEVER had a job? WTF do the last few months have to do with anything? What about the last few years??

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.

Hey, I work at one! 

[Super Dude]

Better you disobey her on something small like this, than with something big such as dropping out of college to pursue some dream that'll turn you into a bum.  Tell her that in a more eloquent way, and she'll see your point.

Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.

You're 18 and NEVER had a job? WTF do the last few months have to do with anything? What about the last few years??

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.

Hey, I work at one! 

I've never had a job and I devoted my entire senior year to finding one.  Employers just don't want kids looking for just summer jobs, much less so with all these fully grown workers now taking the same jobs.  The only time I've ever been employed is in a private practice for a family friend.

[TAC]

Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..

[Dark Master Of Sin]

A friend of the family didn't get his first job until he was 26(?) which is at Intel. He got his masters degree before ever getting a job.

[Super Dude]

Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..

I mean if I'd tried to get a job a year or two earlier I might've been able to, but back then I preferred to focus on academics and my writing craft.  Though my parents did nag me constantly about getting a job.

[metalandi]

Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..

it's actually more common than you'd think. i used to know people that don't have work for 10 years, i don't know how they do it. i also knew someone that never had any more education after leaving school with 18..since then she's been going through all kind of jobs but never kept one. it's not always easy.

btw. not having a job by the age 18 here is actually normal..usually you go to school till at least 14, and then you either keep going to school till 18 or you start an apprenticeship. then you go to the army if you're a boy and then you start the real working life with about 19.

[Super Dude]

I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.

[bosk1]

I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.

*sigh*  Let me break it down for you...

then you go to the army if you're a boy

if you're a boy

a boy

boy

[In The Name of Rush]

what does your dad think? have him take you!   

[hefdaddy42]

I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.

*sigh*  Let me break it down for you...

then you go to the army if you're a boy

if you're a boy

a boy

boy

lol

[TimmyHiggy]

One is a maiden concert with a support act you love, the other is a DT concert. I fail to see the problem

[metalandi]

in austria you must go to either the army or do civilian  service for 6 month (unless your weight is 150 kilos or you have other serious issues).

[hefdaddy42]

If my weight got down to 150 lbs that would be a serious issue.

[metalandi]

sorry, i was meant to write kilos.

[ack44]

"no means no!"

Good band.

[Shadow2222]

So I told my mom. She said "Sell the tickets and find an apartment." She said I have other stuff to pay for (tires and brakes that will cost about 300 dollars, but she previously told me to use my graduation money on it, plus we agreed I would get them AFTER summer).

She said I might be 18. but I don't have any right to make decisions while I am living under my parent's roof.

She also said I am not allowed to go to the Iron Maiden concert, and to pay back my friends with my OWN money (since they can't use my debit card to get in unless I am there and they are paperless tickets)

Also, I am attempting to apply for even more jobs right now, just to see if that will calm her down. She is gone right now, and is rejecting all my phone calls even though I am attempting to get my social security number from her (as I don't know it off the top of my head and she has it in her wallet). So in other words, she is currently preventing me from applying for a job.
I even text her telling her to text it to me.

I stayed calm and collected and never once raised my voice, and simply said, "I understand that I am living under your roof, and I respect that. But I am also 18, and have a right to make certain decisions that do not affect anything regarding you or this house."

Apparently she wouldn't have wanted me driving anyways. I asked her why not, she said "its too far. 10 lane highways, you aren't experienced enough."

[Samsara]

forget what I wrote.

[ZBomber]

Better question is why does your mom have your social security card in her wallet?

[Volk9]

Hmm, well on the one hand you can ignore her and go and do what you want, but that would probably make the situation worse and make you seem more irresponsible then she already thinks (not saying you are, just saying what she implied). You just really have to show them that you are an adult; take action. You know that you can stand on your own two feet; let them watch you walk.

[Shadow2222]

Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.

[Volk9]

Sweet

[popol]

Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.

well I guess that they figured out that you'd get more lessons out of life it theyd let you do mistakes (like this one)

[zmazar]

Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.

well I guess that they figured out that you'd get more lessons out of life it theyd let you do mistakes (like this one)

It's not a mistake.  I'll be going to the concert in Columbus, and the one in Pittsburgh.  nothing would have stopped me from going.  Parent's are supposed to be rough on their kids, and kids are supposed to do stuff they aren't.  Carpe Diem, live it up.  Your parents won't hate you forever.  Glad to hear that everything seems to have worked out ok.  There's a bunch of DTF members going to the Columbus show, we should all meet up!