DreamTheaterForums.org Dream Theater Fan Site

Dream Theater => Dream Theater => Topic started by: Shadow2222 on April 23, 2010, 10:12:38 PM

Title: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my friend)
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 23, 2010, 10:12:38 PM
Ok. First of all, I am an 18 year old (turning 19 in September) about to graduate from high school. I am seeing DT/Iron Maiden on July 15 in Cleveland (I live in Warren, OH).

Then they announced a headlining show in Columbus. My mom thinks it is stupid and a waste of money to go to both concerts. I do not, as I am absolutely obsessed with DT and really want to see them headline this year.

I just got a free 100 bucks from my new bank for a "Sign up and use your check card five times" deal.

I understand I am 18, but my mom specifically gave me a "no means no!" answer, and I never EVER disobey my mom, cause I really do care a lot about her. I know she would get over it, but is this situation a cause for disobeying my mom?
Please give me your opinions. The tickets go onsale in ten hours here, and I really don't know what to do.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Nic35 on April 23, 2010, 10:24:00 PM
Just talk to her like an adult, tell her your point and say how siginificant it is for you to see DT twice. You should whatever you want with your money, especially if it's a gift from your bank, you should be allowed to use it as you want.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: kirbywelch92 on April 23, 2010, 10:32:52 PM
Explain the difference between the two concerts and how it's not the same concert. If all else fails, pull the "I'm 18 now" card.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Dr. DTVT on April 23, 2010, 10:39:50 PM
One is a DT concert, the other is an IM concert, so they are different.  By that point you will be a HS graduate.  As long as the money is yours, you can do what you want with it.  HOWEVER...if you don't have your own car, your parents can always play the "fine, but you're not getting the car" card - so be make plans to go with someone else who can provide wheels before you go and purchase a second ticket.  The best way though is to be a rational adult about it.  If you act like a kid, you'll be seen as a kid - but if you act responsible and like an adult you will get treated like one.  That goes for all you kids out there.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: OsMosis2259 on April 24, 2010, 12:35:09 AM
yeah dont act like a kid. be mature about it and say that DT is going to play more in the other show. Just do not try to argue in an annoying way. Just deliver your points in the most mature way as possible.  Tell her that you will pay and that she doesn't have to worry bout it.  I understand your concern because my parents always worry about me too and i am almost 22 years old.  However thats how some parents are like...

just try to be cool about it and tell her how you feel and if she still says no then you got 2 options:

dont go or...



get the ticket without her knowing and then just sneak out :)

but really try to talk to her and convince her in the most mature way as possible.

Good luck!
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: ZeppelinDT on April 24, 2010, 12:46:30 AM
How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: yeshaberto on April 24, 2010, 12:59:59 AM
don't know your mom, but I would go to her humbly...ie.  I plan to do whatever you say because I respect you, but I am really wanting to see both shows because this is something that means a lot to me.


btw, I lived in warren/austintown for a while.

hope it works out that you get to go to both
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 24, 2010, 07:19:02 AM
tell her that it's never stupid to go to more than one concert, no matter if it's the same band or not. a live concert is a live concert and each one is unique. also, if you always just do what mum says and are not able to voice your own opinion, you will have a pretty hard life later on. that's my opinion.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 24, 2010, 07:41:58 AM
How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...
This was my thought.  Unless you're a diehard Maiden fan, just go to the DT show.

Otherwise, let her know that it definitely won't be the same show twice (that would be stupid).  But definitely don't disobey your Mom.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Quadrochosis on April 24, 2010, 01:33:21 PM
How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...
This was my thought.  Unless you're a diehard Maiden fan, just go to the DT show.

Otherwise, let her know that it definitely won't be the same show twice (that would be stupid).  But definitely don't disobey your Mom.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Dark Master Of Sin on April 24, 2010, 01:40:54 PM
If you can't see both shows, go to the DT only show.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: TAC on April 24, 2010, 04:44:13 PM


btw, I lived in warren/austintown for a while.
Where the f##k haven't you lived??

Just talk to her like an adult, tell her your point and say how siginificant it is for you to see DT twice. 
Good advice here.


Ask her to go with you!
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 24, 2010, 10:18:12 PM
Honestly I would sell the IM ticket, BUT as they are paperless I would have to drive an hour and a half to let the person who bought my "ticket" into the venue.

My mom just doesn't understand that this isn't just "some band" that I happen to like right now.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: yeshaberto on April 24, 2010, 10:45:05 PM
sorry, shadow
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Setlist Scotty on April 25, 2010, 06:26:36 PM
I'd suggest that you try to *reason* with her by using an example of something that she is passionate for - music, movies or whatever hobby she may have an interest in. Chances are there is something that she has done repeatedly or owns multiple versions of that seem repetitious to you and most others, but that she has done or owns because they are different. Be polite and show her respect, and explain how going to these two shows mean just as much to you as those things mean to her. Don't make accusations or point a finger at her, but if you calmly and maturely explain yourself and are diplomatic with her, she may listen. It might also help to point out that you are a good kid who hasn't disobeyed her and that you are asking this as a favor from her.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: reneranucci on April 25, 2010, 08:18:47 PM
Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: pogoowner on April 25, 2010, 08:27:42 PM
Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.
DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: reneranucci on April 25, 2010, 08:45:59 PM
Play Scenes from a Memory to her. Say "this is the band we´re talking about". That should change her mind.
DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE.
>:(
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 25, 2010, 09:01:24 PM
Haha, honestly maybe she is sick of DT, all I ever play blast through my speakers on my TV is Dream Theater.

She brings up a legitimate point that I do have stuff to pay for down the road. I told her that I understand that this isn't the most important thing in the world, but its more important to me than she thinks. She believes its just another thing that I want, and that I'm just gonna turn around and be like "Ooh I want this, ooh I want that." Legitimately, I am like that. However, unlike when I was 13, I don't actually buy the things I want as I have learned the importance of saving money.

I could  see how 45 dollars here and there adds up, but not when you are only buying one 45 dollar item and saving the rest of your money and not giving into the temptations of video games, other electronics, other concerrts, etc.

Any other pieces of advice?

The tickets don't seem to be selling ridiculously fast, but I want to get them as soon as possible.

BTW, if you could all do me a favor (if you have a Facebook), hit the "Like" button on this page to be entered into a contest to win a pair of free tickets to any concert of your choice at a Promo West venue (including Newport Music Hall), and if they have 5500 fans by tomorrow they will let the winner pick a friend to also receive two free tickets.

If you win, and they give you the ability to choose another person for two more free tickets, please tell them Tyler Charles (that's me).
https://www.facebook.com/promowestlive (https://www.facebook.com/promowestlive)

Maybe if they don't reach the 5500 fan mark but one of you guys wins, could I buy the tickets from you at a slightly reduced price?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Dr. DTVT on April 25, 2010, 09:35:45 PM
I'd suggest that you try to *reason* with her by using an example of something that she is passionate for - music, movies or whatever hobby she may have an interest in. Chances are there is something that she has done repeatedly or owns multiple versions of that seem repetitious to you and most others, but that she has done or owns because they are different. Be polite and show her respect, and explain how going to these two shows mean just as much to you as those things mean to her. Don't make accusations or point a finger at her, but if you calmly and maturely explain yourself and are diplomatic with her, she may listen. It might also help to point out that you are a good kid who hasn't disobeyed her and that you are asking this as a favor from her.

She's a womang, see how many pairs of shoes she has.  If it's more than 3, Setlist Scotty's idea is home run.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 25, 2010, 10:16:47 PM
Unfortunately, she doesn't buy a whole lot of... well... anything.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 26, 2010, 05:01:04 AM
Show her this thread.

Well, maybe not.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 26, 2010, 05:29:28 AM
Okay maybe there's something i don't understand, but...a)you're 18 and b)you have the money to go..then just DO IT! nobody can tell you what to do, it's YOUR life..sometimes you have to act against someone's will, cause if you'll always do what mum or someone other wants, you won't have a happy life later.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: TAC on April 26, 2010, 05:57:26 AM
Shad, it's a tough one. On one hand you sound like you DO NEED your mother's poermission to attend both shows. So the people saying just do it, and you're 18 maybe don't understand.
Like Scotty said, sit down and explain your passion for the music. I had to convince my father when I was younger that it was really all about the music, and not so much about hanging out, etc...
Let her know that although it doesn't make sense to her, that it IS important for you. Maybe you'll have to give something else up, like no Indians or Reds games this summer, or something like that.

Remind her that if both shows were announced at the same time, you would've only picked one, but the 50 minute set was announced first, even though the headline show is more important.

I think you have to decide..is she actually "forbbiding" you to go, or just not giving you her blessing. With all due respect, 18 does sound a little old to need permission, but it's a different world today, so I respect your mother's concerns. Maybe this is a crossroads for both of you.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: ddtonfire on April 26, 2010, 06:41:58 AM
Hope you're at both shows, cause I will be. Two of my great regrets were not going to see certain bands (Genesis and DT) when they came around. Persistence, (not the annoying type) can pay off. Hopefully you'll have until July to convince her! Let her knows it's something you're really passionate about.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: YtseBitsySpider on April 26, 2010, 06:43:14 AM
How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

^^this IS the correct answer^^
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 26, 2010, 07:27:52 AM
Man, about ten times now I've gone all the way through the ticket buying process just to hover over the final "Continue - Your credit card will be charged" button, but I just can't do it.

Knowing my mom, she would probably get a little mad if I bought the ticket, but she would eventually come around and understand. However, I'm worried that this might randomly be the time she snaps and won't talk to me/forces me to move out or something crazy like that.

To be frank, not to sound pretentious, but I'm a pretty good son, and I really love my parents. I always listen to them and rarely ever argue with them, which makes it that extra bit harder to disobey (even though I'm almost 19).

If I don't win that Facebook contest (which the odds are obviously against me), I might just buy them...
Oh man... :-[
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma (Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 26, 2010, 01:10:31 PM
Well, big surprise but I didn't win the Facebook contest ( :censored), so I just went and bought the tickets.

Um, so, how do I tell my mom?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma (Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 26, 2010, 01:34:07 PM
Just tell her. 
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma (Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 26, 2010, 01:37:39 PM
Hmm, but how should I put it? "Mom, I know you told me not to get the tickets, but this was way too important for me to pass up." How does that sound?

I think that's what I will say.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 27, 2010, 04:41:57 AM
First, may I request that the thread be moved into General Discussion (as the thread is purposely taking a different direction).

Second, I still haven't told my parents. All of a sudden, this morning, I wasn't feeling very good at all. I asked my mom if I could stay home, as I've only missed 2 days this semester and I have about 25 days of school left in my senior year. They've never said this before, but for some reason, my dad said, "You need to learn responsibility."

I understand that school is important, but I never take off unless I'm feeling pretty darn bad.

Now, here's the real problem. My mom's upset because I "kept bothering" her this morning, and my dad says that I "need to learn responsibility."

I don't think today is the best day to tell them about the tickets. I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm afraid that they really will lose a lot of respect for me. I am living here the next 2-4 years as well since I am going to a relatively local college and wanted to save on cost.

I'm sorry for always doing this DTF. Strangely enough, you guys always manage to help.

BTW: I always mention my mom and renamed the thread Mom Dilemma simply because while my dad makes some decisions, for some reason, my mom always gets to make any major decision. All my dad usually says is "Go ask your mom."
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 27, 2010, 04:58:19 AM
I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.
What do you mean, "this time"?  I thought you never ever disobey your Mom.  I don't know about everyone else, but I've been proceeding under the assumption that you are a good kid who never does anything wrong.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 27, 2010, 05:15:37 AM
I don't wanna sound like an ass, but reading through all this i just keep shaking my head to that whole story. Do you NEVER do something stupid in your life, do you even do things that are fun? Or do you just go to school and do all the time what mommy says? Seriously, you need to change some things in your life. If you wanna go to that gig, then for hell's sake GO. yeah, maybe your parents will be mad, but that's life, sometimes you have to do things even though others don't like it. You weren't born to please everyone else, you were born to LIVE and try out stuff and have fun, and also sometimes to make decisions others don't like and therefore get into a fight/discussion/whatever with someone. That's LIFE. For me all this looks like you are living in a pink bubble that has been built by your mum and you never can get out of it, and you need to change that or you will have serious problems as an adult later on.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Dark Master Of Sin on April 27, 2010, 06:18:35 AM
I'm sorry man, but, er, the sooner you get out of that house, the better.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 27, 2010, 06:33:34 AM
I'm seriously afraid they might kick me out this time. And I have never ever thought that before.
What do you mean, "this time"?  I thought you never ever disobey your Mom.  I don't know about everyone else, but I've been proceeding under the assumption that you are a good kid who never does anything wrong.

That was just bad wording on my part. The only "bad" things I do are occasionally get into disagreements with her. However those arguments are becoming more frequent as time goes on.

Also, I understand that I may be making this sound worse than it is. My mom has been quite "angry" lately, at everything AND everyone.
But we still love each other.

I do have a lot of fun in this house. The problem is, that's the only place where I have fun. I never go anywhere. To be honest (and this is a little scary) driving to Columbus is going to be my first time driving anywhere more than 10 miles from my house. No exaggeration. I must admit I am bad with directions, but only cause I never drive anywhere. Plus I will have a GPS (with lane change directions) and a friend with me.

I mean, she got like this for 2-3 months last year, and she just becomes a (sorry Mom) total bitch. She gets ignorant about everything, she won't let me do anything. I just don't know what to do.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: AcidLameLTE on April 27, 2010, 06:38:22 AM
Tell her that if she doesn't let you go, you'll stick in the cheapest, crappiest old folks home you can find (when she gets to that age).
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 27, 2010, 06:42:51 AM
Okay, after this post i have no questions anymore, everything is clear for me now. You seriously have tpo get out there, by any costs. Buy the damn ticket and have fun at the gig. It will absolutely worth it, more worth than keep sitting at home and doing what mom demands. You need to break free of that shell, or you will never be able to have your own, happy life. It sounds harsh, but it's the truth..i know what i'm talking about.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Perpetual Change on April 27, 2010, 07:52:40 AM
If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house, why are you still asking your parents for permission to go to concerts?

I've been following the thread though, and I think I can provide some kind of explanation.  In short, I think you should go to the show, but listen to your parents.

There's a reason why your parents are acting this way, and I'm not sure you're telling us that part of it.  From my own experiences I'm guessing, like my parents, yours want you to get a job.

You're 18, graduating high school, etc.  You're basically at that point in your life where, unless you're going away to university and/or working full time, your parents are going to start scratching their heads when they look at you. If you're spending money while you don't  have a job, or while they're scrambling to make that first university payment, they're probably going to be even more annoyed.  

Basically, your dad is right.  

Right now you should either be a.) working to help pay for the looming tuition bills or b.) working and saving up so you can eventually get a better job, move out, etc. If you're doing either of those things, who cares if you make a little extra and want to go to a concert? You shouldn't even have to ask permission. But something tells me that since your mom thinks you "always" asking for things you're not in the habit of working for the things you have.  If that's true, then yeah, I can see where your parents are coming from. The sooner you get in the habit of changing that the better-- especially if you plan on living with your rents for a couple more years.

So listen to your dad. Time to grow up, be responsible, make your own decisions (and be able to pay for them on your own; not because you got 5 bank cards in the mail). Sorry if that sounds a little harsh.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Plasmastrike on April 27, 2010, 08:15:19 AM
Your rents are ridiculous.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 27, 2010, 09:31:44 AM
If you're old enough to be kicked out of the house, why are you still asking your parents for permission to go to concerts?

I've been following the thread though, and I think I can provide some kind of explanation.  In short, I think you should go to the show, but listen to your parents.

There's a reason why your parents are acting this way, and I'm not sure you're telling us that part of it.  From my own experiences I'm guessing, like my parents, yours want you to get a job.

Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Perpetual Change on April 27, 2010, 09:35:00 AM
You might have to lower your standards while your looking. No one wants to do fastfood or supermarkets, but sometimes those places are always hiring (because people are always quitting.)

As I found, I think you'll find your parents will really get off your back once they see you working.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 27, 2010, 10:03:48 AM
Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days. 
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Perpetual Change on April 27, 2010, 10:07:44 AM
I worked at Taco Bell for like a year. It was my first job. And it SUCKED. Then I got a job at a Staples that was opening up. It was MUCH better. Now I work on my campus. You can't work more than 20 hrs a week, but the work is a joke (hence the DTF activity).
Quote

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days. 

Yeah. I hear ya. I only said that because every time I meet someone desperately looking for (and unable to find) a job, they offer the same excuse, "oh, I don't want to be around food," etc.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: AcidLameLTE on April 27, 2010, 10:18:02 AM
Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.  Other than the pay, of course.  I worked at one all through my college days.  
Indeed. I worked at a Sainburys last year.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Setlist Scotty on April 27, 2010, 12:48:39 PM
I mean, she got like this for 2-3 months last year, and she just becomes a (sorry Mom) total bitch. She gets ignorant about everything, she won't let me do anything. I just don't know what to do.

Am I the first to wonder if she's going thru menopause? Could be the reason why she's gotten this way. Another thing that probably is the case is she is a bit upset that her "baby" (you) is growing up and wanting more freedom - your parents sound like they might be a bit restrictive/protective. If you're the oldest, the baby or the only child, there's a good chance this is a part of it.

That said, as others correctly guessed, the job thing obviously is bugging them. So make sure that you're not being lazy and get a job. Yeah you sent out 11 applications and didn't get a call, but don't give up and be persistent (but not obnoxious) with the companies that you contacted - if you show that you're seriously interested in working for them, they may consider hiring you the moment a position opens up. And as others pointed out, if not, do not think too much of yourself to accept a fastfood or grocery store job for the time being.

One other thing you might want to consider (tho the job thing may make it difficult) - if you're mother seems to be unreasonable, talk to your father and try to reason with him, and then maybe ask him to help you reason with your mother.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: bosk1 on April 27, 2010, 01:05:29 PM
That said, as others correctly guessed, the job thing obviously is bugging them. So make sure that you're not being lazy and get a job. Yeah you sent out 11 applications and didn't get a call, but don't give up and be persistent (but not obnoxious) with the companies that you contacted - if you show that you're seriously interested in working for them, they may consider hiring you the moment a position opens up. And as others pointed out, if not, do not think too much of yourself to accept a fastfood or grocery store job for the time being.

I completely agree.  And I'm not saying you are being lazy or anything, but 11 applications really isn't very much of a job search.  Seriously.  You can try harder than that.  What I do for a living is pretty specialized, and I don't work in a very large job market, but I know if I were looking for a job, even without deviating from my specialty or going outside my geographic region, I could put out a lot more than 11.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: popol on April 27, 2010, 05:47:55 PM
listen bro

if you still need your mom's approval on every decision you make, maybe you're not old enough to decide for yourself.

maybe what you need to do is take a step back and consider the pros and cons. yes you're obsessed with DT, but you're still young and probably don't have much cash to blow on concerts. maybe your mom is actually right. I mean, why did you even tell her about it in the first place? Did you ask permission? If you ask permission to your mom, she'll decide in your place, but if you take your own decisions without asking, you'll show her that you're an adult and she might give you more freedom.

I know that DT rotates setlist and are a good live band, but IMO, you'll be fine with only one show. Paying for two shows would've been worth it if they were still doing the one evening with DT shows. nowadays, I don't think it really is worth it. actually, the only reason why I got a ticket to see DT/Maiden is cause I can spend that kind of money if I want to. I've seen Maiden twice and DT 4 times. I'm not really excited anymore about seeing them anymore, to be honest with you.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: TAC on April 28, 2010, 06:11:30 AM

Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.
You're 18 and NEVER had a job???? WTF do the last few months have to do with anything? What about the last few years??

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.
Hey, I work at one!  :lol
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Super Dude on April 28, 2010, 06:23:24 AM
Better you disobey her on something small like this, than with something big such as dropping out of college to pursue some dream that'll turn you into a bum.  Tell her that in a more eloquent way, and she'll see your point.


Well, that's it exactly. The economy is so bad around here though. I've never had a job (not exactly anyways, I make 25 bucks a week cleaning my mom's friend's salon). I've put in 11 applications the last few months and haven't got a single call.
You're 18 and NEVER had a job???? WTF do the last few months have to do with anything? What about the last few years??

Nothing wrong with working at a supermarket.
Hey, I work at one!  :lol

I've never had a job and I devoted my entire senior year to finding one.  Employers just don't want kids looking for just summer jobs, much less so with all these fully grown workers now taking the same jobs.  The only time I've ever been employed is in a private practice for a family friend.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: TAC on April 28, 2010, 06:35:08 AM
Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Dark Master Of Sin on April 28, 2010, 06:37:13 AM
A friend of the family didn't get his first job until he was 26(?) which is at Intel. He got his masters degree before ever getting a job.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Super Dude on April 28, 2010, 06:50:15 AM
Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..

I mean if I'd tried to get a job a year or two earlier I might've been able to, but back then I preferred to focus on academics and my writing craft.  Though my parents did nag me constantly about getting a job. :p
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 28, 2010, 07:00:44 AM
Well, my apologies if jobs might be very difficult to get. I guess I still get surprised to hear an 18 year old has never had a job..

it's actually more common than you'd think. i used to know people that don't have work for 10 years, i don't know how they do it. i also knew someone that never had any more education after leaving school with 18..since then she's been going through all kind of jobs but never kept one. it's not always easy.

btw. not having a job by the age 18 here is actually normal..usually you go to school till at least 14, and then you either keep going to school till 18 or you start an apprenticeship. then you go to the army if you're a boy and then you start the real working life with about 19.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Super Dude on April 28, 2010, 07:08:02 AM
I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: bosk1 on April 28, 2010, 07:36:26 AM
I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.

*sigh*  Let me break it down for you...


then you go to the army if you're a boy

if you're a boy

a boy

boy
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: In The Name of Rush on April 28, 2010, 09:31:12 AM
what does your dad think? have him take you!   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 28, 2010, 09:47:11 AM
I'm fairly certain that not all boys go into the army.  I sure didn't.

*sigh*  Let me break it down for you...


then you go to the army if you're a boy

if you're a boy

a boy

boy
lol
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: TimmyHiggy on April 28, 2010, 10:03:24 AM
One is a maiden concert with a support act you love, the other is a DT concert. I fail to see the problem
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 28, 2010, 10:45:15 AM
in austria you must go to either the army or do civilian  service for 6 month (unless your weight is 150 kilos or you have other serious issues).
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on April 28, 2010, 12:56:19 PM
If my weight got down to 150 lbs that would be a serious issue.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: metalandi on April 28, 2010, 01:15:29 PM
sorry, i was meant to write kilos.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: ack44 on April 30, 2010, 09:46:00 AM
"no means no!"

 Good band.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 30, 2010, 03:18:13 PM
So I told my mom. She said "Sell the tickets and find an apartment." She said I have other stuff to pay for (tires and brakes that will cost about 300 dollars, but she previously told me to use my graduation money on it, plus we agreed I would get them AFTER summer).

She said I might be 18. but I don't have any right to make decisions while I am living under my parent's roof.

She also said I am not allowed to go to the Iron Maiden concert, and to pay back my friends with my OWN money (since they can't use my debit card to get in unless I am there and they are paperless tickets)

Also, I am attempting to apply for even more jobs right now, just to see if that will calm her down. She is gone right now, and is rejecting all my phone calls even though I am attempting to get my social security number from her (as I don't know it off the top of my head and she has it in her wallet). So in other words, she is currently preventing me from applying for a job.
I even text her telling her to text it to me.

I stayed calm and collected and never once raised my voice, and simply said, "I understand that I am living under your roof, and I respect that. But I am also 18, and have a right to make certain decisions that do not affect anything regarding you or this house."

Apparently she wouldn't have wanted me driving anyways. I asked her why not, she said "its too far. 10 lane highways, you aren't experienced enough."
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Samsara on April 30, 2010, 03:29:43 PM
forget what I wrote.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: ZBomber on April 30, 2010, 03:56:41 PM
Better question is why does your mom have your social security card in her wallet?
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: Volk9 on April 30, 2010, 04:18:40 PM
Hmm, well on the one hand you can ignore her and go and do what you want, but that would probably make the situation worse and make you seem more irresponsible then she already thinks (not saying you are, just saying what she implied). You just really have to show them that you are an adult; take action. You know that you can stand on your own two feet; let them watch you walk.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on April 30, 2010, 06:36:58 PM
Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: Volk9 on April 30, 2010, 06:40:44 PM
Sweet :tup
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: popol on April 30, 2010, 06:50:39 PM
Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.

well I guess that they figured out that you'd get more lessons out of life it theyd let you do mistakes (like this one)
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: zmazar on April 30, 2010, 08:35:22 PM
Ok, maybe everything is ok. I'm going to skip all the details, but I think I managed to let them know that I respect their wishes while I am still in the house, and that I am not trying to rebel or anything, but I can still decide certain things for myself.

Well, long story short, now they are letting me (most likely) go to both concerts.

well I guess that they figured out that you'd get more lessons out of life it theyd let you do mistakes (like this one)

It's not a mistake.  I'll be going to the concert in Columbus, and the one in Pittsburgh.  nothing would have stopped me from going.  Parent's are supposed to be rough on their kids, and kids are supposed to do stuff they aren't.  Carpe Diem, live it up.  Your parents won't hate you forever.  Glad to hear that everything seems to have worked out ok.  There's a bunch of DTF members going to the Columbus show, we should all meet up!
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: yeshaberto on May 01, 2010, 12:07:32 AM
really glad to hear it worked out shadow
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: ZBomber on May 01, 2010, 12:10:44 AM
Better question is why does your mom have your social security card in her wallet?

Quoting myself because I'm curious to the answer.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (NOT Resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on May 01, 2010, 01:28:09 AM
So I told my mom. She said "Sell the tickets and find an apartment." She said I have other stuff to pay for (tires and brakes that will cost about 300 dollars, but she previously told me to use my graduation money on it, plus we agreed I would get them AFTER summer).

She said I might be 18. but I don't have any right to make decisions while I am living under my parent's roof.

She also said I am not allowed to go to the Iron Maiden concert, and to pay back my friends with my OWN money (since they can't use my debit card to get in unless I am there and they are paperless tickets)

Also, I am attempting to apply for even more jobs right now, just to see if that will calm her down. She is gone right now, and is rejecting all my phone calls even though I am attempting to get my social security number from her (as I don't know it off the top of my head and she has it in her wallet). So in other words, she is currently preventing me from applying for a job.
I even text her telling her to text it to me.

I stayed calm and collected and never once raised my voice, and simply said, "I understand that I am living under your roof, and I respect that. But I am also 18, and have a right to make certain decisions that do not affect anything regarding you or this house."

Apparently she wouldn't have wanted me driving anyways. I asked her why not, she said "its too far. 10 lane highways, you aren't experienced enough."

Not very much of this makes sense.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on May 01, 2010, 06:46:47 AM
Better question is why does your mom have your social security card in her wallet?

Quoting myself because I'm curious to the answer.

Honestly, I think my mom still feels like I am her "baby" and that I can only do so much on my own (therefore her need to carry around any important items of mine). I love my mom, but I am really trying to show her that I can not only stand on my own two feet, but walk and run too.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (DEFINITELY NOT RESOLVED) - Need Opinions
Post by: ZBomber on May 01, 2010, 08:55:16 AM
Better question is why does your mom have your social security card in her wallet?

Quoting myself because I'm curious to the answer.

Honestly, I think my mom still feels like I am her "baby" and that I can only do so much on my own (therefore her need to carry around any important items of mine). I love my mom, but I am really trying to show her that I can not only stand on my own two feet, but walk and run too.

Its not even that, so much. I think its just a really unsafe idea to carry around your SSN in your wallet. Aren't you supposed to keep it in a safe secure place? If she ever lost her wallet, you'd be fucked.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (Maybe resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on May 01, 2010, 11:06:43 AM
That's true...

ANYWAYS, once again I have a dilemma. Because of the brake issue, even though its not serious, my parents won't let me take my car, and the friend that I was going with (who's been becoming quite conceited lately) says that he won't drive nor let me drive his car (because of insurance purposes), so he says he won't go now.

Unless something changes, I have one extra ticket and no way to get to the concert. Anybody willing to take me that might hopefully be passing through Warren on their way to the concert? Please? Or any advice on how to get my friend to change his mind?
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: TAC on May 01, 2010, 11:19:45 AM

Anybody willing to take me that might hopefully be passing through Warren on their way to the concert? Please?

So now you have to explain how some stranger you met on the internet will be taking you to the show? :facepalm:
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: glaurung on May 01, 2010, 11:21:05 AM

Anybody willing to take me that might hopefully be passing through Warren on their way to the concert? Please?

So now you have to explain how some stranger you met on the internet will be taking you to the show? :facepalm:

 :rollin

Yeah, mention that to your mom and hope she lets you just use your car.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Silver Tears on May 01, 2010, 11:23:52 AM
I would so go with you but I can't drive. Oh, and I live in Scotland.

I guess you can try working on your parents a bit more to see if they change their minds about letting you take the car. That or tell your friend to stop being a douche and drive the two of you there.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on May 01, 2010, 11:55:16 AM
My friend responded, "Nope we made an agreement"
And my parents just kind of laughed when I mentioned a DTF member giving me a ride
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Volk9 on May 01, 2010, 12:33:51 PM
Your not suppose to say "Some guy from the internet". Just say a friend from school or something
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: reneranucci on May 01, 2010, 12:40:34 PM

Anybody willing to take me that might hopefully be passing through Warren on their way to the concert? Please?

So now you have to explain how some stranger you met on the internet will be taking you to the show? :facepalm:
:rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin :rollin
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: changing_seasons on May 01, 2010, 02:40:05 PM
I am strangely intrigued by this thread.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Super Dude on May 01, 2010, 02:43:17 PM
I noticed you want a stranger to ride with. :eyebrows:

:biggrin:
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: changing_seasons on May 01, 2010, 03:39:58 PM
I noticed you want a stranger to ride with. :eyebrows:

:biggrin:

Sure. I assume he'll split the gas money for the ride from Norway?
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Dark Master Of Sin on May 01, 2010, 03:43:31 PM
Dude, you may be in extreme luck. I'm going to be spending some time in Michigan, and I may be traveling back down to Ohio around that time...I would be going to the Pickerington area...
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Gadough on May 01, 2010, 04:12:30 PM
How badly do you want to see Maiden?  You could always just sell the Maiden ticket and go see the DT headlining show instead...

That's what I was thinking. Of course the best outcome would be to go to both, but if you can only go to one you might as well go to the DT headliner.
Title: Re: Mom Dilemma (Maybe resolved?) - Need Opinions
Post by: hefdaddy42 on May 01, 2010, 05:06:09 PM
That's true...

ANYWAYS, once again I have a dilemma. Because of the brake issue, even though its not serious, my parents won't let me take my car, and the friend that I was going with (who's been becoming quite conceited lately) says that he won't drive nor let me drive his car (because of insurance purposes), so he says he won't go now.

Unless something changes, I have one extra ticket and no way to get to the concert. Anybody willing to take me that might hopefully be passing through Warren on their way to the concert? Please? Or any advice on how to get my friend to change his mind?
Oh, come on.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: TimmyHiggy on May 01, 2010, 05:10:08 PM
Is public transport not an option?
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: ZBomber on May 01, 2010, 05:41:07 PM
GET INTO MY CAR



LETS GO FOR A DRIVE
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Perpetual Change on May 01, 2010, 05:51:25 PM
See, this is the issue.  You've just completed massive argument where you had to convince your parents that you could be responsible for your own decisions.  And now you're asking them for a ride, because you thought seeing back-to-back Dream Theater shows was more important than getting your breaks fixed.  Your parents probably already told you this, but you can't just have all the freedom without any of the responsibility.  

Anyway, I'd suggest Public Transportation if it's possible.    
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on May 01, 2010, 07:38:20 PM
Dude, you may be in extreme luck. I'm going to be spending some time in Michigan, and I may be traveling back down to Ohio around that time...I would be going to the Pickerington area...

That would be great, as Pickerington is close to Columbus, but isn't Warren a little out of the way if you are going straight from Michigan to Pickerington? Are you going to the concert (and in need of that extra ticket)?

And you would definitely have to be willing to talk to my parents for at least an hour about who you are, how you won't molest me/kidnap me, etc.

But I would definitely appreciate it.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Dr. DTVT on May 01, 2010, 07:46:44 PM
I don't think public transportation would be a real option, because that would limit it to Greyhound, and taking a trip by bus takes planning, and he would probably have to stay in a motel overnight for the return trip - the money spent on it could just as easily be spent on car maintainance, which would be better in the long term.

Aside from all the other teenage jobs mentioned, look for labor jobs, like mowing lawns or garden maintainance.  You will work your ass off, but it will probably pay a little better than minimum wage, and you get to enjoy the summer weather.  I did that one summer in college, and worked at a country club another summer.

This thread makes me realize how great I had it as a kid.  I went to my first concert my senior year of high school, and drove 3 friends to it as well, and never had any problems with the 'rents.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on May 01, 2010, 07:59:09 PM
Yeah, I just checked, and while the times I think would work out perfectly, the bus alone would cost 69 dollars.
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Super Dude on May 01, 2010, 08:00:57 PM
Yeah, I just checked, and while the times I think would work out perfectly, the bus alone would cost 69 dollars.

lol
Title: Re: Everything Dilemma (Want to give me a ride?) - Need Opinions
Post by: Dark Master Of Sin on May 01, 2010, 08:12:33 PM
Dude, you may be in extreme luck. I'm going to be spending some time in Michigan, and I may be traveling back down to Ohio around that time...I would be going to the Pickerington area...

That would be great, as Pickerington is close to Columbus, but isn't Warren a little out of the way if you are going straight from Michigan to Pickerington? Are you going to the concert (and in need of that extra ticket)?

And you would definitely have to be willing to talk to my parents for at least an hour about who you are, how you won't molest me/kidnap me, etc.

But I would definitely appreciate it.
I would get a free ticket? I would have done it anyways, but hell, I'll look into this for sure! I'll pm you and what not.

I MUST MAKE THIS CLEAR THOUGH:

I AM MAKING NO PROMISES AS OF NOW.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 08, 2010, 10:47:17 AM
First let me provide an update. I have a 550 dollar a month job now. Not a ton of money, but enough to pay for the basics.

I THOUGHT that was the reason my mother wouldn't let me go originally, even though she had decided to let me go...

Well, apparently something changed, because she just randomly starts going crazy saying I'm not going to that concert and I better sell the tickets if I don't want to lose the money for them.

Keep in mind, that me and my mom have been on better terms than ever recently. WTF?

I really am so goddamn pissed.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Volk9 on June 08, 2010, 10:57:35 AM
Has she given you a reason or any indication of why?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Dr. DTVT on June 08, 2010, 11:18:46 AM
I answered this question in another thread:

FACT - Women are all bat-shit crazy.

Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 08, 2010, 11:38:24 AM
Has she given you a reason or any indication of why?

She apparently doesn't feel safe having me going so far away. I understand her sentiments, but what is she going to do when I possibly move away in the next few years, or decide to go on a trip, etc.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: BRGM on June 08, 2010, 12:59:56 PM
Flee, run, retreat! ESCAPE from her! or make her come with u, then she can protce u=You are safe  ;D
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 08, 2010, 01:01:35 PM
Has she given you a reason or any indication of why?

She apparently doesn't feel safe having me going so far away. I understand her sentiments, but what is she going to do when I possibly move away in the next few years, or decide to go on a trip, etc.

Honestly, since she had previously told you that you could go, I think you have every right to follow thru. When she calls you on it after the shows are over, point out to her that she said you could go, and that for her to change her mind on a whim was unreasonable.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: antigoon on June 08, 2010, 01:05:06 PM
Menopause.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Plasmastrike on June 08, 2010, 01:28:58 PM
Aren't you 18?

What a bitch.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: ZBomber on June 08, 2010, 03:38:31 PM
Just go dude.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 08, 2010, 05:48:53 PM
She basically just told me that she had apparently only meant that she would think about letting me go, and that she just came to this decision.

She said the only way I could go if there was something ridiculously unique about it, like getting to meet the band or something  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: robwebster on June 08, 2010, 06:16:56 PM
Mate, she's not the one living your life. You are. And you're eighteen. Either you want to respect yourself in which case you should be going to the concert, or you want to respect your mother in which case you don't. Either way, it's your decision, and you shouldn't really be relegated to the passenger seat in your own body.

She's a mum. You love her. Fair play. But by the time you're an adult, her role is more of guidance. It should be mutual respect. She gave birth to you, and if she wants you to do well she should be teaching you how to make decisions rather than stripping you of your right to. Although you equally shouldn't be letting her.

Go to your fucking gig. It shouldn't be an issue. If you're asking something of her - e.g. "Give me a lift," then that's her prerogative and obviously that IS her decision. That's her life and she shouldn't have to bend over backwards for you. She can if she wants, but she shouldn't have to. And nor should you to her bizarre whims.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Fuzzboy on June 08, 2010, 06:23:34 PM
Regret is a fucking asshole. Don't give it a reason to exist.

Go see both shows, because you'll really wish you had if you don't. Live your life, not hers.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Darkes7 on June 08, 2010, 07:10:46 PM
Mate, she's not the one living your life. You are. And you're eighteen. Either you want to respect yourself in which case you should be going to the concert, or you want to respect your mother in which case you don't. Either way, it's your decision, and you shouldn't really be relegated to the passenger seat in your own body.

She's a mum. You love her. Fair play. But by the time you're an adult, her role is more of guidance. It should be mutual respect. She gave birth to you, and if she wants you to do well she should be teaching you how to make decisions rather than stripping you of your right to. Although you equally shouldn't be letting her.

Go to your fucking gig. It shouldn't be an issue. If you're asking something of her - e.g. "Give me a lift," then that's her prerogative and obviously that IS her decision. That's her life and she shouldn't have to bend over backwards for you. She can if she wants, but she shouldn't have to. And nor should you to her bizarre whims.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Nic35 on June 08, 2010, 07:14:38 PM
Mate, she's not the one living your life. You are. And you're eighteen. Either you want to respect yourself in which case you should be going to the concert, or you want to respect your mother in which case you don't. Either way, it's your decision, and you shouldn't really be relegated to the passenger seat in your own body.

She's a mum. You love her. Fair play. But by the time you're an adult, her role is more of guidance. It should be mutual respect. She gave birth to you, and if she wants you to do well she should be teaching you how to make decisions rather than stripping you of your right to. Although you equally shouldn't be letting her.

Go to your fucking gig. It shouldn't be an issue. If you're asking something of her - e.g. "Give me a lift," then that's her prerogative and obviously that IS her decision. That's her life and she shouldn't have to bend over backwards for you. She can if she wants, but she shouldn't have to. And nor should you to her bizarre whims.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: robwebster on June 08, 2010, 07:30:16 PM
Mate, she's not the one living your life. You are. And you're eighteen. Either you want to respect yourself in which case you should be going to the concert, or you want to respect your mother in which case you don't. Either way, it's your decision, and you shouldn't really be relegated to the passenger seat in your own body.

She's a mum. You love her. Fair play. But by the time you're an adult, her role is more of guidance. It should be mutual respect. She gave birth to you, and if she wants you to do well she should be teaching you how to make decisions rather than stripping you of your right to. Although you equally shouldn't be letting her.

Go to your fucking gig. It shouldn't be an issue. If you're asking something of her - e.g. "Give me a lift," then that's her prerogative and obviously that IS her decision. That's her life and she shouldn't have to bend over backwards for you. She can if she wants, but she shouldn't have to. And nor should you to her bizarre whims.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
I couldn't write it better myself, exactly what I'd like to say.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 08, 2010, 07:33:48 PM
She said the only way I could go if there was something ridiculously unique about it, like getting to meet the band or something  :facepalm:

Hang out by the bus after the club gig, and you stand a very good chance of being able to meet them.   ;)
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: sneakyblueberry on June 08, 2010, 08:00:26 PM
Are you her youngest/only son?  She sounds very over-protective.  I think part of her is just upset that you're getting to the point in your life where you don't really need her to hold your hand anymore.  I can imagine why she would act that way about the whole gig if she's already upset about you getting older, moving out of home going to college etc.  You're old enough to look after yourself now, maybe she's just sad that you won't be relying on her anymore.  Maybe you should talk to her about it and let her know that even though you're older now, you still love and need her.  Maybe.  I could be dead wrong and she's just being a poop head for the sake of it.

That said, I think you need to get out of her house asap.  You have a job now, find a one room apartment or something and you won't have a problem like this again.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma - Need Opinions
Post by: Mladen on June 09, 2010, 02:14:37 AM
This has been going on for quite a while, and I certainly haven't read the entire thread. But the thing is, if you're gonna get kicked out of your house because you went to a Dream Theater show, I'd say it's totally worth it. Go have fun at the gig and tell us how it was.

Oh, and one more thing... Do not sell the Maiden ticket, for the love of God!  :lol
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Martinman300 on June 09, 2010, 03:26:41 AM
How are you getting there?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Perpetual Change on June 09, 2010, 05:32:27 AM
Just go dude.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: axeman90210 on June 09, 2010, 07:22:44 AM
man, this thread is just a roller coaster ride of emotion... he can't go, he can go, he can go but he has no way to get there, maybe someone from DTF is gonna give him a ride, he can't go. If no one's approached you yet, I'd like to put in a bid for the movie rights. I'm thinking we'll spin it into a three film franchise, get one of the kids from Twilight to star, and film it all in 3D of course.


seriously though, it sounds like your mom runs pretty hot/cold. I say just go and hope that she's having a good day the day of, and if not  unless she's some sort of giantess I don't think she can physically stop you from going.



Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: AcidLameLTE on June 09, 2010, 07:52:27 AM
She's hot and then cold
She's yes and then no
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 09, 2010, 08:15:18 AM
How are you getting there?
Oh man, now this...

My car is currently having a transmission/stalling issue, which is fine money wise because I have it completely covered under warranty until October, but the garage I have a warranty at is booked full for the next 3 weeks. I can't get my car fixed before the show.

My friend who was going to have to drive because of my car (I think I mentioned him earlier in the thread) just text me and said "Hey, the more I think about this concert, the more I don't want to go. Sorry."

My mom said she doesn't want me to go because she loves me so much and doesn't want to see me get killed on the highway over a concert (her friends from back in high school recently died in a car accident on the highway, and so did an 18 year old going to my school).

I completely understand how much she loves me, but I told her anything could happen in life. I could get killed today, whether by accident or on purpose. Unfortunately, she has to come with terms that I am "leaving the nest."

Now I don't have a ride again, but I don't think she would EVER let me ride with a stranger. She isn't familiar enough with any of you to feel alright with it.


I may have to sell these tickets  :'(
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: robwebster on June 09, 2010, 08:21:15 AM
She's hot and then cold
She's yes and then no

She's in and she's out! She's up and she's down!
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: robwebster on June 09, 2010, 08:24:22 AM
Now I don't have a ride again, but I don't think she would EVER let me ride with a stranger. She isn't familiar enough with any of you to feel alright with it.

I may have to sell these tickets  :'(
It's not about her being familiar with us (I live in England, it DEFINITELY isn't about her being familiar with me), it's about her trusting in you to make your own choice. If I were you I'd almost be tempted - and this is quite manipulative, so I apologise for ever suggesting it, even WITH a disclaimer - to ask her outright why she doesn't trust you. Can you not make decisions? Have you been brought up wrong? On the flipside, have you given her reason to distrust you?

I'm starting to think - and again, I feel horrible for saying this, I'd never be this audacious in person - that perhaps you are a little too young to be trusted. If you're investing so much of your life in instructions-from-your-mum then maybe that's the sign that you still need her for something, and probably shouldn't be going to this gig?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: KevShmev on June 09, 2010, 08:29:03 AM
My mom said she doesn't want me to go because she loves me so much and doesn't want to see me get killed on the highway over a concert

Good grief.  
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Plasmastrike on June 09, 2010, 09:05:58 AM
I would seriously go insane if my mother was like this. Wow. :-\
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: hefdaddy42 on June 09, 2010, 10:15:22 AM
My mom said she doesn't want me to go because she loves me so much and doesn't want to see me get killed on the highway over a concert

Good grief.  
This.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: black_biff_stadler on June 09, 2010, 11:04:01 AM
Is your mom her?

(https://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/black_floyd_2007/Marissabenson.jpg)inb4loluwatchkidzshows
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Mebert78 on June 09, 2010, 11:11:35 AM
Tell her you're sleeping over a friend's house and go to the show instead.  You'll get grounded if she finds out, but it will be worth it.  DT, baby. 
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: ZBomber on June 09, 2010, 11:27:00 AM
Take a bus there. I'm sure you can find one that can get you to the general area.... thats what I'm doing for the DT/IM show in NYC.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: black_biff_stadler on June 09, 2010, 01:10:16 PM
Take a bus there. I'm sure you can find one that can get you to the general area.... thats what I'm doing for the DT/IM show in NYC.

Moms probably has a story involving three of his aunts being raped on a Greyhound bus to refute this measure.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 09, 2010, 01:18:27 PM
Take a bus there. I'm sure you can find one that can get you to the general area.... thats what I'm doing for the DT/IM show in NYC.

Moms probably has a story involving three of his aunts being raped on a Greyhound bus to refute this measure.

Close, but no cigar.

Mom's Logic:

1st, too much money for a bus ticket


2nd, Youngstown (where the bus stop is) is a bad area to be walking around at 2 in the morning. Legitimately, I would have no ride home that early in the morning, and its very far from my house.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: BRGM on June 09, 2010, 01:26:57 PM
Make her come with you.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 09, 2010, 01:35:57 PM
Well, she can't go on highways anymore cause she has what I consider to be a panic attack. Even locally, she freaks out all the time while driving (not that she has complete meltdowns or anything that severe).

We haven't been on vacation since I was about 10 or 11 due to that (oh, she hates airplanes and ships too).

Looking back at this thread, don't get the wrong impression of my mom. I love her so much and I wouldn't have wanted to grow up with anyone else as my mother. However, all her "bad" qualities are coming up due to this particular incident.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Martinman300 on June 09, 2010, 03:17:13 PM

Close, but no cigar.

Mom's Logic:

1st, too much money for a bus ticket


2nd, Youngstown (where the bus stop is) is a bad area to be walking around at 2 in the morning. Legitimately, I would have no ride home that early in the morning, and its very far from my house.

Are you paying for the bus, if so, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE THINKS IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE IT'S YOUR MONEY.
If not, sorry for the rant.
Well, she can't go on highways anymore cause she has what I consider to be a panic attack. Even locally, she freaks out all the time while driving (not that she has complete meltdowns or anything that severe).

We haven't been on vacation since I was about 10 or 11 due to that (oh, she hates airplanes and ships too).

Looking back at this thread, don't get the wrong impression of my mom. I love her so much and I wouldn't have wanted to grow up with anyone else as my mother. However, all her "bad" qualities are coming up due to this particular incident.

Your mum is a nutter. Does she get all wound up and on the edge, possibly terrified, on the highway?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: BRGM on June 09, 2010, 03:28:11 PM
Don't u have a friend or another relative to go with then?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: black_biff_stadler on June 09, 2010, 03:38:03 PM
Make her come with you.

Dude! Gross! :puke:
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: BRGM on June 09, 2010, 04:00:52 PM
eh.... -.-
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Plasmastrike on June 09, 2010, 05:25:14 PM
Bat. Shit. Crazy.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: axeman90210 on June 09, 2010, 09:44:46 PM
every new one of your posts makes me think it's even more important for you to go to the concert. Your mom obviously cares about you, but she is overly protective/smothering to a ridiculous degree and it will be very healthy for both of you if you just go
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: reneranucci on June 09, 2010, 09:55:27 PM
 :lol

Brief interlude: this thread has helped to make black_floyd my new hero.

Now go on with the complaining, the advice and other nonsense. 
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: SirVoltage on June 09, 2010, 10:13:44 PM
Allow me, if you will, to add my perspective to this.

I had a "similar" dealings with my mum, albeit not quite the same, but its similar in principle.

My mum went through a phase of being overprotective, in that she was uncomfortable about letting me go out.
I confronted her and asked her for a legitimate reason, of course the usual came about, "its not safe" and "you're my only son" etc...
By keeping calm and rational, I told her that these things were ultimately my decision, and it was my money etc, all the things people have already told you in this thread.
Now I can tell her where I'm going and what I'm doing, there be no cloak and dagger stuff here.

Also the fact that I saved her from certain death at the hands of the mighty shredder may have helped my case. *

My sister on the other hand, has not spoken to her in the same way, and as such is playing up moreso because of it.
Lieing about where she's going, doing more crazy things and generally messing around more.

You're 18, and you need to have this conversation sooner or later, and make her realise whats going on.
It'll be hard for her I'm sure, since you're an only child but if you reason with her, she'll see sense and acknowledge the situation. However the whole, lack of ride thing is a problem.

Ah well, you'll sort it out.



* statement could well be falsified
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: ZBomber on June 10, 2010, 07:06:19 AM
With our luck, Shadow will go, he will somehow end up dying, and then his mom will find this thread and sue DTF.  :P
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 10, 2010, 01:20:05 PM
With our luck, Shadow will go, he will somehow end up dying, and then his mom will find this thread and sue DTF.  :P

Before or after the concert?
It changes my decision about how I feel about that  :lol
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 10, 2010, 05:54:54 PM
Shadow, do yourself a favor and watch Waterboy, cuz that's what it sounds like your life is like! When you see how preposterous the movie is, maybe you'll figure out how to get yourself to those concerts.

BTW, she's afraid of highways, planes and ships? Before you know it, she's gonna be afraid to step outside the house for fear of what could happen to her. Your mom needs to see a shrink and sort out her issues.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 11, 2010, 01:31:54 PM
Oh for god sake. My friend decided he is definitely not going, and he was a big factor in my parents even contemplating the idea of letting me go. They trust him with driving, and had no idea he was wavering about whether he would go or not.

I really hate to do this, but the tickets are available to inquire about (specific details are in the DT-Bay thread in the Concerts and Setlists subforum).

If I decide to sell them (but don't hesitate to contact me about them), they will start at the maximum price of 65 for both tickets or 35 a piece. The service fee's original cost is not included (so I will be losing money regardless)

What do I do, because I really want to go...
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 11, 2010, 01:37:12 PM
You can't get anyone else to go? You gotta have at least one friend who would be interested. If not, take your dad.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: ZeppelinDT on June 11, 2010, 02:01:09 PM
My mom said she doesn't want me to go because she loves me so much and doesn't want to see me get killed on the highway over a concert (her friends from back in high school recently died in a car accident on the highway, and so did an 18 year old going to my school).

Don't they say that most car accidents occur within a few miles from home.  So really, the further away you get, the safer your are!

With our luck, Shadow will go, he will somehow end up dying, and then his mom will find this thread and sue DTF.  :P

That's exactly why the mod team is staffed with lawyers =)
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: ZBomber on June 11, 2010, 02:31:19 PM
If you have two tickets, just take a friend and cover their ticket. You'll lose money, but its worth going. Then maybe you can negotiate with them to drive if you pay for their ticket.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Martinman300 on June 11, 2010, 02:45:10 PM
Where's your dad?
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 11, 2010, 02:58:12 PM
My dad most likely would not go, because he is not a huge fan of their music (although he does like a lot of their songs) and he might not want to take a vacation day. Also he is turning 62 and has occasional back problems, and since the show is GA, well...

I've been trying to think of anyone else that would drive but I'm drawing a blank.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 11, 2010, 05:51:36 PM
My dad most likely would not go, because he is not a huge fan of their music (although he does like a lot of their songs) and he might not want to take a vacation day. Also he is turning 62 and has occasional back problems, and since the show is GA, well...

I've been trying to think of anyone else that would drive but I'm drawing a blank.

How about an uncle or aunt that's local? A cousin? Friends at school? Friends at church? One of your neighbors? There's gotta be somebody.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Martinman300 on June 12, 2010, 01:38:20 AM
Still ask your dad though If he likes the songs.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: black_biff_stadler on June 12, 2010, 07:11:15 AM
:lol

Brief interlude: this thread has helped to make black_floyd my new hero.

Now go on with the complaining, the advice and other nonsense. 

Thanks brah!  :lol
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Mondriaan on June 12, 2010, 03:21:12 PM
Moms the Boss.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 28, 2010, 11:19:18 AM
Well, I'm not going.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Silver Tears on June 28, 2010, 12:38:20 PM
That sucks  :-\
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Setlist Scotty on June 28, 2010, 12:54:24 PM
FAIL.   :tdwn
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: black_biff_stadler on June 28, 2010, 01:12:21 PM
I say we pull a Zack Morris-caliber caper to get DT to play for Shadow at his house.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Shadow2222 on June 29, 2010, 04:14:01 PM
Haha I can't argue with that. It really is my friend's fault, because I finally got my parent's permission, but my friend said "There is no reason to go."

Good argument, right?

Oh well, I have a foolproof plan to embarrass the shit out of him. We (and one other friend) are going to the July 15 Iron Maiden show. Right before that, we are going to Mike's meet and greet. I'm taking these two tickets for this show I'm not going to, and having Mike sign them. I know I'll only have a few seconds, but while he is signing them, I'm gonna say, "Yeah, I wasn't able to go to this concert and I lost 90 bucks because this guy right here said there was no reason to go"

At the very least, I will have two cool signed items. I guess that sort of (not really) makes up for being unable to go to the concert...
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Nic35 on June 29, 2010, 04:40:46 PM
Haha I can't argue with that. It really is my friend's fault, because I finally got my parent's permission, but my friend said "There is no reason to go."

Good argument, right?

Oh well, I have a foolproof plan to embarrass the shit out of him. We (and one other friend) are going to the July 15 Iron Maiden show. Right before that, we are going to Mike's meet and greet. I'm taking these two tickets for this show I'm not going to, and having Mike sign them. I know I'll only have a few seconds, but while he is signing them, I'm gonna say, "Yeah, I wasn't able to go to this concert and I lost 90 bucks because this guy right here said there was no reason to go"

At the very least, I will have two cool signed items. I guess that sort of (not really) makes up for being unable to go to the concert...
:lol Oh my god that is brilliant.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my friend)
Post by: sneakyblueberry on June 29, 2010, 04:57:07 PM
Haha I can't argue with that. It really is my friend's fault, because I finally got my parent's permission, but my friend said "There is no reason to go."

Good argument, right?

Oh well, I have a foolproof plan to embarrass the shit out of him. We (and one other friend) are going to the July 15 Iron Maiden show. Right before that, we are going to Mike's meet and greet. I'm taking these two tickets for this show I'm not going to, and having Mike sign them. I know I'll only have a few seconds, but while he is signing them, I'm gonna say, "Yeah, I wasn't able to go to this concert and I lost 90 bucks because this guy right here said there was no reason to go"

At the very least, I will have two cool signed items. I guess that sort of (not really) makes up for being unable to go to the concert...
:lol Oh my god that is brilliant.

:lol YES!!
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: Jamesman42 on June 29, 2010, 05:10:54 PM
Haha I can't argue with that. It really is my friend's fault, because I finally got my parent's permission, but my friend said "There is no reason to go."

Good argument, right?

Oh well, I have a foolproof plan to embarrass the shit out of him. We (and one other friend) are going to the July 15 Iron Maiden show. Right before that, we are going to Mike's meet and greet. I'm taking these two tickets for this show I'm not going to, and having Mike sign them. I know I'll only have a few seconds, but while he is signing them, I'm gonna say, "Yeah, I wasn't able to go to this concert and I lost 90 bucks because this guy right here said there was no reason to go"

At the very least, I will have two cool signed items. I guess that sort of (not really) makes up for being unable to go to the concert...

Holy crap, do that and be ready to take crap. :lol :lol :lol
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my mom)
Post by: hefdaddy42 on June 30, 2010, 05:00:31 AM
Haha I can't argue with that. It really is my friend's fault, because I finally got my parent's permission, but my friend said "There is no reason to go."

Good argument, right?

Oh well, I have a foolproof plan to embarrass the shit out of him. We (and one other friend) are going to the July 15 Iron Maiden show. Right before that, we are going to Mike's meet and greet. I'm taking these two tickets for this show I'm not going to, and having Mike sign them. I know I'll only have a few seconds, but while he is signing them, I'm gonna say, "Yeah, I wasn't able to go to this concert and I lost 90 bucks because this guy right here said there was no reason to go"

At the very least, I will have two cool signed items. I guess that sort of (not really) makes up for being unable to go to the concert...
Well, there you go.
Title: Re: Concert Dilemma v. I Just Don't Understand (my friend)
Post by: Shadow2222 on July 02, 2010, 09:34:24 PM
This is a bitter afternoon  :tdwn