Choosing to be offensive is not necessary for being offensive. I have no idea why you'd actually fight really hard to associate the word gay with concept of bad, but if it's super important to you, then I guess I can't do much about that.
I don't quite understand what you mean. The context where I used the word gay was meant in a positive, good sense, not negative and bad. I see nothing wrong in saying that a song sounds gay and I can't understand why someone would feel personally attacked because of it. And as I said before, I am not homophobic, I have nothing against gay people. In fact, most of the gay people I've ever know were some of the nicest people I've met.
If I say a song is very "black" or "white" or "English" or "American" it doesn't automatically make me into a racist or a xenophobic.
For example.. if you are gay and I say a song is gay, why would you feel offended by it? It is not even personally refering to you or anyone else.. Unless you see "being gay" as an anomaly, an abnormality, an aberration, then yeah, I would understand, but then you would be the homophobic, not me. But if you are gay and if being gay is completely normal to you, what is there to defend? What is there to be offended about?
Now.. when somebody is directly insulting you and intentionally trying to offend you by calling you names, then it is something completely different.
But anyway, I will refrain from using that word to describe songs. I didn't think people were so sensitive and easily offended.