Author Topic: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!  (Read 15712 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« on: May 14, 2009, 12:52:28 PM »



Because I was just about to go take a nap and do my hair. :facepalm:

Offline setrataeso

  • Setlist Archivist
  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3765
  • Gender: Male
  • I probably don't like you
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2009, 12:56:05 PM »
Multitasking! Nice! :tup
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Online Zydar

  • Creep With Tonality
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 19207
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2009, 12:58:13 PM »
There must have been some serious sleep related hair drying accidents for them to put that warning in there :lol
Zydar is my new hero.  I just laughed so hard I nearly shat.

Offline kári

  • Meow
  • DTF.com Member
  • **
  • Posts: 7695
  • Gender: Male
  • það besta sem guð hefur skapað er nýr dagur
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2009, 01:04:54 PM »


(on a razor scooter)

You and me go parallel, together and apart


Offline AcidLameLTE

  • Nae deal pal
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 11134
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2009, 01:13:40 PM »
I've seen a packet of sleeping pills that say "warning: may cause drowzyness" on the back.

Offline setrataeso

  • Setlist Archivist
  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3765
  • Gender: Male
  • I probably don't like you
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2009, 01:14:57 PM »
I've seen a jar of peanut butter that on the front says "50% more peanuts!", and on the bakc it says "may contain traces of nuts".
NEW REVIEW: Lady Gaga - Born This Way
https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=25343.0

Setra, I think that is the best statement I have read on this forum.  Very well said.

Offline Zook

  • Evil Incarnate
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 14144
  • Gender: Male
  • Take My Hand
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2009, 01:16:47 PM »
How about a package of 2 boiled eggs with the allergen warning: Contains eggs.

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2009, 01:25:21 PM »
Wait, where in the world can you buy a package of two boiled eggs? :lol

Offline ariich

  • Roulette Supervillain
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 27962
  • Gender: Male
  • sexin' you later
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2009, 01:27:21 PM »
:lol These are all pretty classic.

Ariich is a freak, or somehow has more hours in the day than everyone else.
I be am boner inducing.

Offline Sigz

  • BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 13537
  • Gender: Male
  • THRONES FOR THE THRONE SKULL
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2009, 01:46:18 PM »
Wait, where in the world can you buy a package of two boiled eggs? :lol

Seriously wtf?
Quote
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

Offline ZeppelinDT

  • Resident Collectaholic
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6650
  • Gender: Male
  • Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2009, 01:52:43 PM »
Wait, where in the world can you buy a package of two boiled eggs? :lol

I see them in 7-11 all the time.

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #12 on: May 14, 2009, 02:07:08 PM »
Wait, where in the world can you buy a package of two boiled eggs? :lol

I see them in 7-11 all the time.

how odd.

Offline brakkum

  • DT.net Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1412
  • Gender: Male
  • Bass Boy
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2009, 02:09:15 PM »
thats kinda gross...
https://concertculture.blogspot.com/

https://brakmusic.tumblr.com/

And on the 8th day, God created Dream Theater. God then proceeded to rock out with his cock out.

Offline splent

  • Moderator Emeritus
  • *****
  • Posts: 9348
  • Gender: Male
  • DTF's resident music educator/conductor
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2009, 02:34:17 PM »
My friend wrote a classical song cycle based on ridiculous instructions, and did use this one.  He wrote a countermelody to Brahms' Lullaby to "Do not Use the Dryer While Sleeping".  He also did one called "Do not fold the stroller while the baby is inside"
I don’t know what to put here anymore

Offline ZeppelinDT

  • Resident Collectaholic
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6650
  • Gender: Male
  • Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2009, 02:40:26 PM »
The really puzzling part about this is that, if a person WERE somehow capable of using a hairdryer in their sleep (e.g., if they're a sleepwalker or something), would instructions and warnings really be capable of stopping them?

Offline ZeppelinDT

  • Resident Collectaholic
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6650
  • Gender: Male
  • Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #16 on: May 14, 2009, 02:42:53 PM »
Hmm...

Quote
A Hair Dryer Warns: Never Use While Sleeping

Think it’s impossible? Think again.

“Somebody did use a hair dryer while they were sleeping and it caused a fire in the bed,” Jones said.

As result, there’s a label on a number of hair appliances that warns against the practice.

Underwriters Laboratory, an independent organization that sets safety standards for just about every household appliance, says the warning started with the bonnet-style hair dryer.

“It pumps hot air up a hose into a bonnet that’s over your head,” UL Consumer Safety Director John Drengenberg told FOXNews.com. “You’ve got this nice warm air blowing on your head and you’re reading and you might nod off.”

The scenario is harder to picture with the handheld dryers and curling irons that also carry the warning, but Drengenberg said it, too, has happened.

“Although we don’t have a lot of statistics showing people doing this, ever so often you get someone who falls asleep,” he said.

I think maybe what they're going for is "Never fall asleep while using hair dryer"?

Offline ariich

  • Roulette Supervillain
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 27962
  • Gender: Male
  • sexin' you later
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2009, 03:29:47 PM »
Hmm...

Quote
A Hair Dryer Warns: Never Use While Sleeping

Think it’s impossible? Think again.

“Somebody did use a hair dryer while they were sleeping and it caused a fire in the bed,” Jones said.

As result, there’s a label on a number of hair appliances that warns against the practice.

Underwriters Laboratory, an independent organization that sets safety standards for just about every household appliance, says the warning started with the bonnet-style hair dryer.

“It pumps hot air up a hose into a bonnet that’s over your head,” UL Consumer Safety Director John Drengenberg told FOXNews.com. “You’ve got this nice warm air blowing on your head and you’re reading and you might nod off.”

The scenario is harder to picture with the handheld dryers and curling irons that also carry the warning, but Drengenberg said it, too, has happened.

“Although we don’t have a lot of statistics showing people doing this, ever so often you get someone who falls asleep,” he said.

I think maybe what they're going for is "Never fall asleep while using hair dryer"?
Surely if you're a narcoleptic then you're not really going to be able to stop it either way!

Ariich is a freak, or somehow has more hours in the day than everyone else.
I be am boner inducing.

Offline Gwii

  • DTF Zelda Avatar Club
  • DT.net Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2339
  • Gender: Male
  • There's so much more to see in the darkest places
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2009, 03:37:17 PM »
My Soundclick Page

I can just sense Gwii hiding in the bushes with a knife between his teeth.

Offline ShadowGirl

  • Posts: 279
  • Gender: Female
  • The Sickest Mind
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2009, 05:17:46 PM »
 :rollin
Visit the Official Demians forum at: www.demians-empire.com

Offline TimmyHiggy

  • Not the droid you are looking for
  • Posts: 1947
  • Gender: Male
  • Maybe its just another drill?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2009, 05:21:00 PM »
Billy connolly does a gag on one of his shows about being in a hotel and noticing that the hairdryer had a warning attached to the power cord saying "Warning: Do not use in shower"
i heard if you put bread in the rooof of your mouth it means oyu don't cvry when you're shoocppig ononsosni.
<br />/I vea aben told buy   spletn spencer adn timhiggy and that zletar guy to potost gcase imm drunk for the fist imeiiiiiiiiiiiii eoand evryoen ois mkaking funof eme :O(<br />
<br />

Offline Orbert

  • Recovering Musician
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 19225
  • Gender: Male
  • In and around the lake
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2009, 05:21:42 PM »
Only in America.  Seriously, where else in the world can someone do something absolutely, completely idiotic, get hurt, then sue the company, arguing that "because there was no warning against it, I did it and it's your fault"?

Warning on a Superman costume saying "Does not enable wearer to fly".
Warning on one of those windshield sunscreens saying "Do not drive with shade in place".
Warning on a jar of peanut butter saying "May contain peanuts".

America.  Home of "You've got to be shitting me!"

Offline sneakyblueberry

  • put me in coach
  • DTF.org Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4363
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #22 on: May 14, 2009, 05:44:02 PM »
I once tried to dry my only pair of underwear with a hair dryer.  I made the mistake of pressing the blow hole part of the hair dryer hard up against the underwear in my hand.  The back end of the hair dryer started smoking and fire spewed forth.  Needless to say i have never used one since.  Microwaved underwear is the way to go.

They should make: "Warning:  Do not press the blow hole part up hard against your underwear"



P.S:  There is an insane amount of inneundo in this post that was very unintentional

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2009, 09:22:30 AM »
My friend wrote a classical song cycle based on ridiculous instructions, and did use this one.  He wrote a countermelody to Brahms' Lullaby to "Do not Use the Dryer While Sleeping".  He also did one called "Do not fold the stroller while the baby is inside"

:rollin :rollin

Offline BlobVanDam

  • Future Boy
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 38940
  • Gender: Male
  • Transform and rock out!
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2009, 09:25:45 AM »


WHAT THE HELL

Seriously, the only way any company could come up with this shit is from frivolous lawsuits. They need a new law to protect people from blatant stupidity. :lol
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline Jamariquay

  • Posts: 4049
  • Gender: Male
  • When in Rome...
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #25 on: May 15, 2009, 09:59:42 AM »
#  "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

# "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

# "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

# "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

# "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

# "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

# "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

# "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

# "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

# "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

# "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

# "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

# "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

# "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

# "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

# "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.

# "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

# "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

# "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

# "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

# "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

# "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

# "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

# "Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."

# "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

# "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

# "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

https://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

Offline zerogravityfat

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 6200
  • There can be only one.
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #26 on: May 15, 2009, 10:02:25 AM »
Most women don't know how to blow, those instructions could come handy to them.
DTF.  More reliable than the AP since 2009. -millahh

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #27 on: May 15, 2009, 10:46:04 AM »
Only use in well-ventilated areas - on a bottle of mildew cleaner.... YOU WOULDN"T HAVE MILDEW IF IT WAS WELL-VENTILATED

Offline ZeppelinDT

  • Resident Collectaholic
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6650
  • Gender: Male
  • Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #28 on: May 15, 2009, 10:57:33 AM »
Only in America.  Seriously, where else in the world can someone do something absolutely, completely idiotic, get hurt, then sue the company, arguing that "because there was no warning against it, I did it and it's your fault"?

Warning on a Superman costume saying "Does not enable wearer to fly".
Warning on one of those windshield sunscreens saying "Do not drive with shade in place".
Warning on a jar of peanut butter saying "May contain peanuts".

America.  Home of "You've got to be shitting me!"

In fairness to our legal system, most of the time those people don't win.  The warning labels are generally a mostly irrelevant precaution.  The only time a warning label ACTUALLY makes a difference in the outcome of a law-suit is really just when its something that people wouldn't figure out on their own.

Offline t2fly

  • DT.net Veteran
  • ****
  • Posts: 62
  • Gender: Male
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #29 on: May 15, 2009, 11:07:58 AM »


 Abou 10 years ago I was doing work experience in a supermarket. I was stocking up shelves of babies clothing, to notice a tag on it which had a sketching of a baby wearing the clothes, sitting in a fire with a huge X over it. Good advice, I thought.

Offline VFS

  • (otherwise known as JustJen)
  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 2741
  • Gender: Female
  • Do you think it was an inside job?
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #30 on: May 15, 2009, 11:19:37 AM »


 Abou 10 years ago I was doing work experience in a supermarket. I was stocking up shelves of babies clothing, to notice a tag on it which had a sketching of a baby wearing the clothes, sitting in a fire with a huge X over it. Good advice, I thought.

:lol :lol

Offline Anaesthesia

  • pastry
  • Posts: 1516
  • Gender: Female
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #31 on: May 15, 2009, 11:55:52 AM »
Yeah, man, many times I've looked at burnt baby corpses and wished I had thought about that label before.
120 px height.
In visible light // last fm

Offline zerogravityfat

  • DTF.org Alumni
  • ****
  • Posts: 6200
  • There can be only one.
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #32 on: May 15, 2009, 12:03:28 PM »


 Abou 10 years ago I was doing work experience in a supermarket. I was stocking up shelves of babies clothing, to notice a tag on it which had a sketching of a baby wearing the clothes, sitting in a fire with a huge X over it. Good advice, I thought.

babies are not flammable with these clothes on?
DTF.  More reliable than the AP since 2009. -millahh

Offline Orbert

  • Recovering Musician
  • EZBoard Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 19225
  • Gender: Male
  • In and around the lake
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #33 on: May 15, 2009, 12:09:02 PM »
Reminds me of one of Jeff Foxworthy's bits on parenting.

"You have to remember to change the diapers every damned day!   When it says 6 to 8 pounds on the package, they're not kidding; that's all those things will hold."

Offline ariich

  • Roulette Supervillain
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 27962
  • Gender: Male
  • sexin' you later
Re: Thank God my hair dryer came with instructions!
« Reply #34 on: May 15, 2009, 03:34:09 PM »
# "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
:lol that was my favourite.

From that site I also loved: "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

Ariich is a freak, or somehow has more hours in the day than everyone else.
I be am boner inducing.