Alright, new Jersey Shore Power Ranking. The ranking is a function of likability, how sympathetic they are, and how much I want to learn about them to keep breaking them down psychologically.
I'm warning you now, this is pathetically long. If you want the short version of the power ranking, here it is:
Ronnie - The dancing is a bit weird, and he's a bit emotional, but he's solid. The most adult character.
Pauly D - The most aware of the people around him and himself. But there's nothing super cool about him.
Vinny - He hangs out and doesn't cause problems. Nothing wrong with that.
Jwow - Not as evil as I initially thought. Maybe has the most psychological depth of the characters.
The Situation - Fascinatingly delusional.
Snookie - I feel sorry for her lack of identity, but she doesn't contribute much and is getting annoying.
Sammi - She's a manipulative sociopathic narcissist. I don't like her anymore.
Angelina - She sucked, I'm glad she's gone.
Why is the rest of this post so obsessively long? Because breaking these guys down psychologically is just that interesting. If you don't read it, then whatever. I can say what few Americans can, I'm actually learning things by watching Jersey Shore. Writing is how I sort that out.
Of course, I like what I write, and I very possibly have OCD. I'd feel very validated if you did read the extended power ranking.
Still Likable#1. RonnieThe dance floor thing was weird, but I don't think he meant anything weird by it. I still think Ronnie's cool. Did he overreact to the phone number thing? Yeah. But he didn't have a Situationesque blowup. He didn't know what to do, so he left the moment to collect himself. Overemotional, yes, but still the least childish of the cast. And out of all of them, he's the only one that seems to be making any real positive changes with himself. The next episode is going to be a defining moment for him. I feel like this guy could really explode with rage, and it wouldn't be pretty if he did.
#2. Pauly DI said this in my blow-by-blow commentary of the episode, but out of all the cast, Pauly D is by far the most astute when it comes to the group's interpersonal dynamics. Also, this is kind of a stretch, but I think he might be the most self-aware of the cast. Has he said things about himself that are obnoxious and self-aggrandizing? Yes. But has he said anything about himself that's factually untrue? I don't think so. He's a DJ, women like him, and his hair - while aesthetically displeasing - does come out exactly how he wants it.
But only on the Jersey Shore is basic awareness something special. Also, he's older than most of the cast by over five years. It's impossible not to attain some worldliness. Aside from that, he hasn't really distinguished himself. He's creeping on the periphery of Jwoww and just hanging out. Relative to the rest of the cast, that's fine, but it holds him back from the number one spot. I really think this character could do great things, and I'm hoping the wait is because he's going to peak later.
#3. VinnieVinny's kind of a funny guy. He wants to have a classy night, so he wears a white shirt, a purple tie, and a silver vest. Genius my man, genius. Once again, the editing is a big part of this, but he seems to be settling into the house a bit more. Rather than comment continuously about it, he seems more content to just sit back and take it in. Vinnie doesn't really do much to define himself, but he looks for a good time and minds his own business. He's solid so far. But I wonder what kind of arc he'll have in the future. He has a very rickety kind of likability.
The Delusional Ones#4. JwowwWait for it...
#5. Mike "The Situation"Let me actually talk about The Situation first. He has to be one of the most delusional characters I've ever seen, in real life, reality television, and scripted entertainment. Everything he says is in direct contradiction with what I see on screen. I recognize that MTV editing can make him look more one dimensional than he is, but little things make you realize that he is just that out of touch with reality. When Angelina broke up with her boyfriend and he was calling back, he kept saying how she was a huge drama queen and that's why the drama was going down.
Uh. No. She left the club because she was emotionally torn up. I don't even know why everyone else was back at the house. But then THE BOYFRIEND was the one calling incessantly, and she was the one saying she wanted to ignore him for the night. I fully realize I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure The Situation is incapable of understanding basic facts concerning his inter-personal surroundings.
All that, combined with the fact that he actually seems to be a Sweetheart (sorry, I don't have a better word) capable of sympathizing with other people only further makes him more interesting. It's like there's two very different sides to The Situation...
So, Jwoww. She's probably the most improved of the cast. Last week, she just left a bad taste. But this time around, we see that she actually does have some dimension. She didn't lie to her boyfriend, and she regrets snuggling with Paulie. I'm not impressed, but it counts for something. She's the most openly slutty, and the most regretful of her sluttiness.
Jwoww is strange. I'd say she's even more delusional than The Situation. It took me a moment to be sure of this, but it's the way the delusion expresses itself which makes me think she's worse.
Jwoww's personal traumas are so deeply embedded that they actually anchor a completely consistent personality. With The Situation, you know two very different sides of himself are at work when he's nice to Sammi in one moment (he genuinely likes her as a person), and when he's talking about hooking up with her (the side that needs to validate the work he puts into improving himself). In fact, he's kinda like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Mike and The Situation are two separate sides of the same person.
But Jwoww can go from regretting acting slutty to acting slutty without missing a beat. She can say her boyfriend's a nice guy and then give him only 24 hours without having to change gears personality wise. The Situation has to be two people to act how he does. But Jwoww lives in a constant state where nice guys don't get second chances, and that the solution to ruining one relationship by cheating is to do it again.
By the way, the stuff in the club with Ronnie and Sammi just felt suspicious. Jwoww has never been up in other guy's business before, and now suddenly she's telling Ronnie about Sammi getting the phone number, and then going home to be with him "because he's lonely." Part of me wonders how much the MTV segment producers interfered. Is it a certainty? Not really. Sammi acted like an idiot by getting the phone number, and Jwoww seems to be worldly enough to catch those kinds of things and tell Ronnie what's up so he doesn't get played. Let's face it, she advertises herself as being a player, so she knows when girls are playing guys. As for when she decided to go back to the house, it makes sense too in its own way. She has a radar that looks for weakness in guys, and with Ronnie it went berserk.
Still, I dunno. I know the editors are going to pull the best storylines out of the real events to create narrative that isn't there, but Jwoww in the club just felt too convenient.
Girls Who I Have a Lesser Opinion Of#6. SnookieShe's not really growing as a character at all. Everything I said about her before is still true. In fact, I'm starting to like her less. She's not a bad person, but what does she really do for anyone else? Nothing. But she's becoming more of an attention whore. That, and I can swear her tan's getting darker. The Situation described her as a "Little Miniature Chihuahua painted with some spraypaint." Still true. Her defining quote so far is when she talks about making out with her female friend in the hot tub.
"I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, uh, I made out with Ryder, 'cause guys like that."
She has no impulse control because her parents never told her no. She wants attention from guys because she never got real attention from her parents. Because her parents never did either of these things, she didn't get feedback as a child, and thus never developed a real sense of self.
Also, if she told Sammi that Ronnie went home with Jwoww, she's either an idiot or a drama queen.
#7. SammiJust no. I don't want to say Sammi is smart, that's a bit too much. But now I realize that she deliberately tries to take in the situation around her to manipulate it to her benefit. At the beginning of the show, she called herself "The Nicest Bitch you'll ever meet." That kind of overt, contradictory, and self-defining self-analysis can come from many places, and in her case it's because she tries to sort out other people's place in her world, and she wants to know her place as well. This chick is a hardcore narcissist who sees herself as the central character in a movie. The only way she could have thought it was appropriate to get the cop's number was if she was stupid (she isn't), or if she thought she was so important that nobody could be allowed to dance with another girl in front of her. If she thought it was a problem (which is completely understandable), she should have gone over and talked to him.
There's also this whole other possible layer where she might have known Ronnie wasn't doing anything major, but she chose to be insulted by it and chose to insult him back for getting the cop guy's phone number. Again, because she's the main character, and nobody's allowed to get in the main character's head. I was watching the first episode with one of my friends, and this conversation happened.
Friend "These girls are tough, man."
Me "But that makes no sense. They're such whores, but they have high standards. Why the contradiction."
Friend "Girls like this tend to want guys that can prove they can handle them."
I think he might be right. Because Ronnie danced with the other girl, Sammi decided he was going to have to work harder to keep her. Makes sense. But I still don't know what her problem is.
All I really know is that she sucks now. She's not a good person.
Good Riddance#8. AngelinaI hope we don't get unlucky enough for her to come back. She was fundamentally unlikable, sucked in pretty much every way you can suck, and made the story less interesting. She made herself look like an idiot in front of the manager, and then really did disrespect the boss when she told him to talk to her in the bathroom. I'd be pissed if I were him too.
When it comes to the other characters. I wrote all this interesting (to me) stuff about their psychology because they're interesting to think and write about. With Angelina, I have no idea what's wrong with her and I don't care. On one hand, she seems to have deep issues. On the other, I think she's just stupid. One one hand, if you peeled away enough layers there might be a real personality in her I don't hate. On the other hand, she sucks so much, I'm not sure. What I do know is that I'll be glad not to write about her in next week's power ranking.
Good bye, you will not be missed.
---
As for me, I'm fully strapped into the Jersey Shore roller coaster and ready to keep riding. I'm not sure this is good for my mental health.
Topic: MTV's Jersey Shore (Read 30217 times)
