I don't know what this is or what it means, but I'm creating the Jersey Shore Power Ranking. I can't believe I just spent more than a half an hour writing this.
The Real People#1: RonnieOut of all the characters, he would probably function best in the real world. He's not insecure, knows how to go with the flow, and doesn't get in other people's business. I don't know how I feel about him taking Sammy from The Situation, but she did fling himself at him, so what was he supposed to do? Right now, he's the anchor of sanity in the Jersey Shore house.
#2: Pauly DOn the outside, you'd think you'd immediately hate him. He takes 25 minutes to do his hair, talks about how he doesn't want to work, and has a penis piercing. But you know what? So far this guy's alright. When he showed up at the job, he actually went to work and did it right. The punch in the nose was a cheap shot, but I appreciate someone who looks out for his boys. He doesn't filch around in other people's business, and unlike some of the others in the house he doesn't act unpleasant toward them. I feel like I could have a real conversation with this guy for ten, maybe fifteen minutes about life and DJing.
#3: VinnieHe's in a precarious position right now because, at the moment, he's simply innocuous enough not to make me hate him. All that could change very quickly. He talks about this identity he has as a non-ridiculous Italian, but his actions don't really match up with that. At some point, the cognitive dissonance has to kick in and he'll start doing stupid things to prove he's who he's convinced himself he is. But he's alright for now.
#4: SammiShe only gets this high because there's something about how she carries herself which makes me believe she's actually in tune with reality. Plus, like Paulie, she actually seems like a real person. She immediately offered to help cover some of Vinnie's shift, and talked to Snookie about leaving the place. But still, anyone who says she's "The Nicest Bitch" you'll ever meet has problems. Believing you're two mutually exclusive things must result from a very skewed sense of self image. Like when she was acting tough about ditching The Situation in the interview, but in the moment she seemed somewhat torn up about it.
The Caricatures#5: SnookiePoor Snookie. She has no sense of self whatsoever. From the moment she arrived, she wanted everyone to like her. She threw herself at the guys in the hottub in hopes that one of them would be into her. When she talked to her parents on the phone, it was obvious they never parented her in her life. All the characters are deluded to some degree, but she doesn't even have a self to delude. It's almost sad to watch, and it looks like her situation gets worse based on the preview.
#6: Mike "The Situation"Insecurity and arrogance never go together well, but this is something special. In terms of being utterly compelling, I don't think any other character on the show matches up. I think his defining characteristic is how he thinks he's in control of what's happening around him, which is why he was so devastated by Sammi going for Ronnie. He thought he would just be able to maneuver her into position, but in reality he needed to strike while the fire was hot, but he didn't so Sammi went where the action really was. I look forward to seeing Mike deal with more of his perceptions of reality not matching up with the facts of the situation.
The Obnoxious#7: JwowwThere's nothing genuinely likable about her. Any girl who wants to guitlessly cheat on her boyfriend not only has issues, but some kind of malignant personality disorder. I also have no tolerance for her "If you don't know me, then you hate me, and you wish you were me" attitude. Aside from that not even making sense, it represents an awful attitude toward life. She views herself as someone who destroys other people's lives, thinks people who don't destroy other people's lives are worse than her, and thinks everyone else secretly wants to destroy other people's lives. It's mindboggling. Plus, you really have to love how she doesn't sleep with the other guys out of guilt, but then rebounds and says she only "technically" cheated on her boyfriend because she made out with Paulie D and looked at his Prince Albert.
In spite of all this, she remains the most enigmatic of the group. There's a strange world weariness about her that indicates a lot of emotional experience. Not emotional maturity mind you, but she's been around the block more than a few times.
#8: Angelina "Jolie"I hate her. She can't mind her own business, and she always has to tell people when she thinks they're wrong. So right there she embodies two of the biggest personality flaws I can't deal with. That, and she way overestimates how attractive she is. You can't impose yourself on other people like she does when you suck like she does.
I don't know about Jersey specifically, but I've seen enough photos and articles online to know that Guido culture is very real. Jersey Shore is this amazing opportunity to actually experience it in some way.
At least you don't have to deal with these people in real life. Consider yourself lucky.
Probably. All the girls are fairly unattractive and give off a bad vibe. The guys don't seem like a huge pain to deal with, but I wouldn't like them.
Topic: MTV's Jersey Shore (Read 30214 times)
