Job Interviewing - Do's and Don'ts

[cramx3]

So I've generally been content with the job I started back in late 2020 and with my more recent relocation to Florida for it. Well, the first six months were pretty dicey, but then my team got a new manager who's made a world of difference. When random recruiters have reached out on LinkedIn I've just told them I'm not interested in making a change right now. Then my first boss from years ago reached out a couple weeks ago. Long story short, the company we both worked for way back in the day sold off some, but not all of the clients that our team covered, and my boss at the time and most of my coworkers in the local office all got transferred to the new company that had those clients, while I stayed back with the original company to service the clients that they didn't sell. I know that I was thought highly of by my first boss (and his boss), and they have an opening at the company they've been with since the split that they think I'd be great for. It would involve moving back to the NYC area, so I told the HR rep that I would need to be at the top end of the listed range for the position, which would mean a 28-40% salary increase, to account for moving back to a higher cost-of-living area. It would also come with a title boost of two grades from where I currently am (not that titles are 1:1 across different companies). I've gone through a first-round interview, which went well, and have a second round scheduled for Tuesday. The more I mull on this though, the more I'm pretty sure that I'd be happy staying in my current role. I really like my boss and the rest of my team and I'm excited about what we're starting to build. There are some quality of life tradeoffs, my current job wraps up at about 7 each night and the new job would finish earlier most nights, but a bit later for a few nights at the start of every month. It would also mean a longer commute (about 30-45 minutes each way daily). Lastly, part of what made my current job rough at the start was that the team was horribly under-staffed. That's finally been corrected and we've gotten a bunch of great hires in the door in the last 12-18 months. Meanwhile, I feel like I'd be walking into a similar situation with this new role in that they've mentioned the team is currently a little light but also that there's a hiring freeze in place (barring a couple specific positions such as the one I'm applying for). Ideally I would get an offer and just be able to parlay it into a raise here, but I feel like to make that kind of move I have to be comfortable on some level with taking the new role if my current company says "sorry, we can't make a competitive counter" and I just don't know how I feel about that right now.

Would you even want to return to the area up here?  You've got enough time down there to know if you like living there or not.  I got to imagine that may play a role in your decision.  If you like the Florida life, I can't imagine wanting to come back to the NYC mayhem, but then there's also friends/family that could play a role in that. 

My parents moved to Jacksonville like 5 or 6 years ago because my dad's job transferred him.  They just recently now laid my father off.  Now my parents are looking to move back up here (NJ) and I'm a bit shocked because they seemed to love it there.  I think they just miss being away from friends/family. 

[Stadler]

Relos are weird; though.  I've moved too many times to count for work, and lived in Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania (twice), and yet I seem to always find my way back to Connecticut.  My brother and parents are/were in Florida, and they always mention how great it is.  My company has a main office on the east coast of Florida, so it's do-able.   I understand that OBJECTIVELY, the weather is better in the south, I can find places where I'd save tens of thousands of dollars on taxes, etc., but I LIKE New England.  I'm used to it, in a way that's more than just "convenience".  It's really hard to describe.  I think Philly is the only place I'd move at this point, and even the luster on that is waning.

[WilliamMunny]

Relos are weird; though.  I've moved too many times to count for work, and lived in Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania (twice), and yet I seem to always find my way back to Connecticut.  My brother and parents are/were in Florida, and they always mention how great it is.  My company has a main office on the east coast of Florida, so it's do-able.   I understand that OBJECTIVELY, the weather is better in the south, I can find places where I'd save tens of thousands of dollars on taxes, etc., but I LIKE New England.  I'm used to it, in a way that's more than just "convenience".  It's really hard to describe.  I think Philly is the only place I'd move at this point, and even the luster on that is waning.

Everyone is wired a little differently when it comes to this, but speaking for myself, I very much relate to this sentiment.

The older I get, the more I 'feel' connected to the ground beneath my feet. Whenever I am away from Northeastern Ohio, I swear I can sense it's gravity ever-so-slightly tugging on my subconscious.

I dunno, I'd need a lot more time (and words) to properly describe what it is, but either way, I think I completely understand why some people are excited to move all around while others are simply content to put down roots and stay put.

That all said, my bones ache 80 percent of the year and I totally suspect that if, God willing, I love long enough, I will someday become a snowbird.

[Stadler]

The weird thing is, I'm proud and happy with the explorations I've done.  I ENJOYED living where I did all those years.  And I make fun (well, there's other things to make fun of) of my step kids dad, who LITERALLY lives 75 feet from the house he grew up in, and has NEVER lived more than five miles from there.  He doesn't know any different.  But I feel like I have experienced other places and other vibes, and I just resonate with where I am generally. I know the people (though, less and less) and I know what's being asked of me (though, less and less) and I can live with the compromises I have to make here.

[Chino]

Relos are weird; though.  I've moved too many times to count for work, and lived in Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania (twice), and yet I seem to always find my way back to Connecticut.  My brother and parents are/were in Florida, and they always mention how great it is.  My company has a main office on the east coast of Florida, so it's do-able.   I understand that OBJECTIVELY, the weather is better in the south, I can find places where I'd save tens of thousands of dollars on taxes, etc., but I LIKE New England.  I'm used to it, in a way that's more than just "convenience".  It's really hard to describe.  I think Philly is the only place I'd move at this point, and even the luster on that is waning.

That's because outside of taxes and the occasional snowstorm, CT is a wonderful place to be. And even then.... I just consider the taxes to be the premium required to not be like a lot of the places I'd have no interest in living in. We're sandwiched between NYC and Boston with the ability to get into the heart of either in less than 2 hours. Then there are a half dozen other states within a similar distance that all offer their own unique cultures and experiences. We have great food and parks, beaches, lots of museums and landmarks of true historical significance (I grew up a stone's throw from the the first private law school in the nation), and a nice variety of wildlife. Our summers aren't too scorching, and even with the oddball storm, the winter months are easy to navigate. I've got more golf courses within 30 minutes of me than I can count. Despite being more liberal leaning in a lot of the cities, this state still feels pretty "just do you without being an asshole and you're good". Our utilities are fairly robust and well taken care of, though our highway system is definitely a bit dated. V and I have talked about retiring in DC, but other than that, I haven't the slightest inclination to leave. I love it here.

I know so many people that moved away between the ages of 25-30 who are all slowly making their way back one at a time, especially now that they have kids and want the school systems.

And I make fun (well, there's other things to make fun of) of my step kids dad, who LITERALLY lives 75 feet from the house he grew up in, and has NEVER lived more than five miles from there.

My grandma lived in the same 1 mile radius in Thomaston for her entire life! It's wild to think about.

[Stadler]

100% correct. Couldn't have said it better, honestly. 

[cramx3]

Relos are weird; though.  I've moved too many times to count for work, and lived in Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania (twice), and yet I seem to always find my way back to Connecticut.  My brother and parents are/were in Florida, and they always mention how great it is.  My company has a main office on the east coast of Florida, so it's do-able.   I understand that OBJECTIVELY, the weather is better in the south, I can find places where I'd save tens of thousands of dollars on taxes, etc., but I LIKE New England.  I'm used to it, in a way that's more than just "convenience".  It's really hard to describe.  I think Philly is the only place I'd move at this point, and even the luster on that is waning.

Everyone is wired a little differently when it comes to this, but speaking for myself, I very much relate to this sentiment.

The older I get, the more I 'feel' connected to the ground beneath my feet. Whenever I am away from Northeastern Ohio, I swear I can sense it's gravity ever-so-slightly tugging on my subconscious.

I dunno, I'd need a lot more time (and words) to properly describe what it is, but either way, I think I completely understand why some people are excited to move all around while others are simply content to put down roots and stay put.

That all said, my bones ache 80 percent of the year and I totally suspect that if, God willing, I love long enough, I will someday become a snowbird.

I think, for many including myself, is it's just simply "there's no place like home" and as much as people love to shit on NJ (and much of that is legit) it's just simply home for me and there's no where else I would rather live.  Granted, I haven't really lived anywhere else besides my college years in PA, but I travel enough to get some idea of what else is out there. 

[axeman90210]

Tangentially related question:   Are those recruiters that occasionally reach out on LinkedIn legit? How do I know if they are or not?


As for your sitch, I know I'm a bit older than you, so that is real factor, but for me, "quality of life" is so much bigger a factor now than it was in the past.  My boss moved on about six months ago, and it was down to me and another woman, and she got the job.   My group is a result of a merger, so, predictably, those from my legacy company wanted me, and those from the other company wanted her; the one-over manager is from the other company and I have some (legitimate) reason to believe that this was "preordained" at the time of the merger.  It bummed me out a bit, but it turns out, this is a blessing in disguise.  She's been wonderful to me, I am in the succession plan, I get to do exactly what I've been doing before without ANY of the admin nonsense of running a group, and I'm at a point where as long as I deliver on my "deliverables" I can basically come and go as I please.  My job isn't a cake-walk, and being a support-ish person I sometimes get "those" phone calls (two Fridays ago I was on a call from 4:30 to about 8:30 pm as we finalized a settlement offer) but my job is intellectual in nature; I'm providing guidance and informational input, not creating paperwork, so it's a small price to pay in order to have the flexibility to, say, fly to Dallas and drive my daughter back home without burning a week's vacation to do it.  I also get to continue to work out of the house, even as we're sort of doing an unofficial/passive migration back to the office and centralizing in certain locations (nowhere near where I live). 

Yeah, I'm clear on the fact that I'd rather stay in my current job than move to this new opportunity, but moreso wrestling with do I want to try and get an offer from the other company to get a counter offer and a pay raise to stay here. I'm very confident, but not certain that my current employer would make an effort to retain me. I'm also mindful that my current employer is the only game in town in this part of the country and I was considering buying a house here next year and once I do that I basically lose the leverage of being able to find other offers for a while. Just weighing the risk of bringing an offer for them to counter with the knowledge that I don't really want to leave.

[axeman90210]

I went through a second round interview for this other job yesterday morning, feeling like there's a decent chance I get an offer sometime next week. The interviewer and I went way over the allotted time talking (interview was scheduled for 30 minutes and lasted closer to 60), and as we were wrapping up he asked me a couple of questions about potential timeline for a relocation back home to the NYC area and what kind of notice my current role would require. I feel like if I had put myself out of the running with my interview then he wouldn't have bothered asking. I feel like I came into the interview process in good shape from the internal recommendations I have and I didn't hurt myself any with my interviews, but I'm also mindful that I'm on the lower end of some of the background requirements while also asking for the very top end of the posted salary range.

That all said, I sat down with a spreadsheet this morning and crunched some numbers. Even if they come in at the exact top # of the range posted, which would correspond to a 41% nominal salary increase, once I deduct the state income taxes I'd have to pay in moving back to NJ from FL and also adjust for the higher cost of living it would be more like only a 13% salary increase. That leaves me of two minds on things. On one hand, it should be very easy for my current company to make a competitive counter offer. In reality they wouldn't even need to match, I'd take whatever increase they could offer. We just had discussions this week about starting a major project next week that I'm expected to lead and I'm the only one on the team with the background and expertise to do so in the US team, so I can't imagine that they wouldn't be able to find something extra to try and keep me. On the other hand, in the minuscule chance they come back and say they can't/don't want to do a counter offer, I'm uprooting my life and taking on the uncertainty of a new job for only a 13% effective salary increase.