Job Interviewing - Do's and Don'ts

[axeman90210]

Fingers crossed for ya Jay.


Man, I don't know what the deal is, but today was the fourth time my team has had someone leave either without providing any notice or without finishing out the two weeks notice they did give. Over 7 years at my last company and I don't think I saw it happen once, four times here in less than a year. Really pisses me off.

[Nick]

Fingers crossed for ya Jay.


Man, I don't know what the deal is, but today was the fourth time my team has had someone leave either without providing any notice or without finishing out the two weeks notice they did give. Over 7 years at my last company and I don't think I saw it happen once, four times here in less than a year. Really pisses me off.

I'm 17 years at my company, but only 2+ as hiring manager and it's infuriating to me how many people, even longer tenured ones, fuck over the two week notice process. I am always explicit when hiring people to make sure if they are currently employed that they can give and serve their notice.

I had one guy recently who gave his two weeks and who let me know the morning of what was supposed to be his final day that he would be unable to make it and that single day short was a best case scenario compared to most.

[Chino]

I have mixed feelings about the whole two week thing. I get it's a courtesy, but employers aren't always courteous, and employees don't always get two weeks notice if they're getting canned or get let go. If it's that big of a deal to employers, they should make it contractual.

I've been employed at four places in my life. I had/have outstanding rapport with three of them. The fourth job, a summer gig I had at Quassy Amusement in CT, I walked off of. I was running a ride called the Mini Himalaya and it started raining. I was ordered to close down the ride, CLOCK OUT, and then wait in the restaurant to find out when/if we'd be reopening for the day. I said to the guy "I have to stay here in uniform, but I'm not getting paid?". His reply was "well, you're not working. Why should you be paid?". I tossed my hat into the middle of the ride and walked. The owner of that place, George Francis, can go fuck himself. I will never spend a dime there, and I have zero regrets about not giving my two weeks. 

[Stadler]

When I've resigned, I've ALWAYS honored the full two weeks.   Completely.  The one time I was let go, I walked out.  Fuck them. They weren't thrilled, but it wasn't a surprise.  My boss lied about the meeting we were going to have; it was a "status meeting, to go over schedules" and the first words out of his mouth were "we're letting you go".   Okay; I went to my office, cleaned out my computer and desk, went back, handed it to him and walked out.   I knew at that moment that place didn't appreciate me, and I didn't waste a minute of emotion on that.  I went back to GE a couple months later (albeit 250 miles away; I've written about that) and I've been happy ever since. 

[axeman90210]

Yeah, there are certainly plenty of valid reasons for not honoring the two weeks notice, this just wasn't one of those cases. The guy has been working on a crypto startup fund with some friends of his, but it was still months away from needing his attention full time. My boss put in a lot of work to line things up so that he would stay with us full time through the end of the year, with us letting him take a few days off and a few half days to work on his other project, and then he would transition to a part-time role we were already planning on opening and just work with us in the evenings. We'd get the benefit of keeping him with us for months longer (he was a good employee and we were already stretched a bit thin), and he gets a steady income and benefits until he's ready to go full time with his new fund. Then we found out that his idea of a few days off here and there was him taking four weeks worth of days off between now and the end of the year. Not really doable with a team stretched thin and other people already having marked days off around the holidays. That came up Monday morning, and by early Monday afternoon he offered his two weeks notice of resignation. We were bummed but trying to set up plans for the transition as best as possible. He said all the right things on an all team call Monday afternoon, sent the stereotypical nice farewell email sharing his contact info, but was supposed to be with us through the end of next week. Then on mid-day Thursday he (without warning) filed a request for paid sick days through November 5th, logged off, and ignored all attempts at contact from anyone on the team.

[JayOctavarium]

Didn't get the job.

Pretty bummed.

[jingle.boy]

Didn't get the job.

Pretty bummed.

Damn.  Sorry to hear that Jay.  It kinda sucks that employers put candidates through so much shit.  What happened to the days of 1-2 interviews?  Like fuck... talk about over-complicating things.

[Nick]

Probably a lengthy post ahead, you have been warned.

For 17 years now I've been with the same field (funeral service) and with the same company (StoneMor). I started part-time in Allentown, and would at some point move into the apartment above one of the funeral homes. A good number of you had visited that apartment over the years. Eventually I would pursue schooling to become a funeral director, and I completed my internship and my early years as a director at that same funeral home. Eventually a position within the company but at another funeral home came up. So I accepted a big pay jump and used that to anchor my fiance and I buying our first house (and thus far only) house together. I began working primarily in Plymouth Meeting at our funeral home there, but also occasionally at the other location in Huntingdon Valley. Those locations are the continuation of a business that lays claim to being America's oldest continuously operating funeral home, which is pretty cool. In 2019, at age 33, I interviewed for and got the position of managing those two locations. It was a ton of work taking over, especially split between two locations, and just as things where getting settled COVID hit, and it's been staffing issues on top of many other issues throughout the last two years. Still, by all major inter-company metrics my two funeral homes improved dramatically during my two years at the helm.

I'm extremely proud of that, but while at every major step of my career I've soft-tested other employment avenues I can honestly say that I truly think I'm on my way out at this point. It's gotten to a point where dealing with employees, dealing with issues on every level, and constantly feeling pressure from the consumer base up and the corporate end down I'm really not in a great place mentally. Over the past few months I've looked into a few different options, but with nothing serious coming to fruition. I was even looking at some random jobs completely outside my profession, just for a fresh start. I'm at the point where I'm completely happy to take less money in order to cut down my commute a bit and to lessen my stress and put me back into a better headspace. I'm hopeful I finally found that position.

There is a funeral home closer to me (30-35 minutes as opposed to 45-60 on my current commute) that has three family members running it. I had a phone interview on Wednesday with one of them and a follow up in person interview the next day with the other two. The more the position and their situation has sat with me the more hopeful I am that this works out. It would be a big leap of faith for me to go from corporate to family owned, while also going from manager back to pure funeral director, but I'm ready to make that jump with these folks. Thursday night following the in person interview I emailed a couple of follow up questions and when they answered back they told me they hoped to finish the interview process in 7-10 days. It's only been 3 days, but every time my email dings I get anxious wondering if I'm going to be hearing something one way or the other.

Been a long, long, long time, if ever, I've felt this kind of pressure post-interview, and looking back I'm hoping all was well. Generally things were casual, and I worry maybe too much so, but it really felt as if the interview was less interview and more shop talk among peers, as we were all just guys trying to run our respective funeral homes. I worry about how my comments about how I wanted to cut back might be perceived, but I can say I really went in with full honestly on topics, good or bad, and I hope that is appreciated. If their search for directors is anything like mine it's extremely hard to even get applicants, so I can reasonably hope there are going to be few qualified applicants. I've posted about it before, but right now in my field it's a job seeker's market, and I could absolutely find another job in the next month if I wanted, but finding the right job is a bit more difficult.

Last year aside, with heavy pandemic traffic, I can hope to serve 300 families a year among two facilities. In an ideal situation it's me and four other directors, so 60 families per person on average.  To help with that, and it's limited help on our day to day are two full time administrators. But in a week I'm going to be down to myself and two directors, one of which is a few weeks in, and no new hires in site. In that situation we're looking at 100 a families a year, with minimal support staff, which isn't sustainable.

Where I'm trying to go they see 400 families a year, but I'd be the seventh full time director. That's 57 families a year on average, which is lower than my current situation, even when at optimal staffing levels, which never seems to happen. And on top of that they have 5-6 full time support staff that do a ton of items that our funeral directors typically do, which greatly lowers the load on the directors.

So yeah, just give some good vibes in hoping I didn't fuck things up too bad when interviewing.

[jingle.boy]

Good Vibes... hope you're picking up what I'm laying down.   

[Stadler]

Nick, in my experience, it's a crap shoot of sorts, so you can only improve your odds.  I have lost jobs for 100 different reasons:  I was unqualified, I was over-qualified, I was male, I was too old, I was too young, etc.   So short of a crystal ball, where you can tell exactly what the metric is that you have to meet, I have found that across the board, authenticity is your best bet to improve your odds in the most situations.

I don't mean this disrespectfully - just the opposite - but having been in a position for 17 years, it's probably not the most comfortable thing in the world to be looking for a job; be grateful you HAVE a job, shitty though it may be, because employers can smell desperation, and you NEED to be able to walk away - emotionally, from jobs where they feel you're not a good fit, and practically, from jobs where YOU feel you're not a good fit.  I have found that there are the odd occassions where it is personal, but 99.99% of the time, it's not personal.  99.99% of the time, it's about a candidate that IS a fit, not the candidate that wasn't. 

[millahh]

Time for my biweekly post!

So, this was a tough lesson for me to learn, but I think also applies to Nick's situation:

Don't: Focus on acing the interview.

So I'm just over a year into the new gig, after having been at my previous job (my only real professional job) for 15 years...though there was quite a lot of evolution in that time.  Anyway, I'm searching again, quite aggressively. My job and my boss are toxic AF.  The boss is a narcissist (who uses the exact same back of tricks my mother used on me), and since she's President & COO, it's not like there's recourse, outside of getting the fuck out.  Think of how bad it has to be to think it's a good idea to be searching for a new job when you have a baby showing up in three and a half months...

So what does this have to do with interviewing?  I can look back and realize that I was trying to "ace the interview" for my current job.  I was mindful that I was vetting them just as much as they were vetting me, but my focus on my own prep and performance distorted what I was hearing from them.  I realize now that there were things that should have set off the spidey-sense, but didn't, because I was thinking about how I needed to respond more that I was processing what I was hearing.

This time around, I'm deliberately not thinking about acing anything, I'm approaching everything as just a familiarizing conversation. I'm not putting much effort into prep. Maybe a 15-20 minute block for each conversation.  Of course I've thought about the big picture quite a bit, so I'm comfortable discussing whatever comes up or reasonable behavioral questions, but I'm overall much more low-key about it.  It really help my confidence, actually...I believe in myself and my ability to handle things in the moment...and when I over-prepare, I realized that I'm actually subtly undermining my own confidence. I mean, why would I need to prepare so thoroughly if was actually worthy of the job?

It's been the right approach to take.  Had a pending offer from the first place I interviewed (fell through when a clinical study failed), and things are otherwise going quite well with the 3-4 other places I'm interviewing.  It's lower stress, I feel like I'm seeing both them and myself more clearly, and I can switch in and out of interview mode easily.  I feel like I will make a much better decision this time around.

So, I think this ties back to what Nick was saying, and why I don't think any of it sounds bad...you're all professionals, trying to figure out if it would be a good fit.  a certain amount of just shooting the shit can be part of that (it certainly has for me).

[Chino]

Time for my biweekly post!

So, this was a tough lesson for me to learn, but I think also applies to Nick's situation:


*snip*
So, I think this ties back to what Nick was saying, and why I don't think any of it sounds bad...you're all professionals, trying to figure out if it would be a good fit.  a certain amount of just shooting the shit can be part of that (it certainly has for me).

This is actually a requirement for me going forward. If I don't shoot the shit for at least a little bit with the person I'm working for, I don't think I want the job. I've been in my current gig for nearly eight years now (holy fuck), and I remember interviewing for it vividly. I had rehearsed my "lines" for days leading up to it. I recorded myself answering two dozen or so interview-type questions, and I listened to my responses on repeat dozens of times leading up to it. I memorized them word for word. The interview felt tense at times because I felt myself veering off my script, and I think trying to be that prepared actually harmed me a bit. It caused me to stumble here and there because I was giving more of an acting performance than I was a genuine response to a question. However, toward the interview, my future boss asked me about what my commute would be like. I explained it was long-ish, but I'm used to heading out that way anyway since most of my hobbies take me toward Massachusetts, and the drive didn't bother me. That caused him to say something like "Oh, there's a place in Enfield I was just at for a birthday party. Really cool facility. RC something or other. Ever been?", and the rest of the interview (maybe 5 minutes) was just talking about RC cars. The interview ended and he walked me out of the building and to the parking garage where we were both parked. That took about 10 minutes and we just continued to informally talk about the hobbies we had.   

I'm convinced those fifteen minutes of just nonchalant chatter is what got me the job, not the days of prep and the careful memorization of business jargon and talking points.   

[Lonk]

I mean, why would I need to prepare so thoroughly if was actually worthy of the job?

That is a really great point.

I mentioned how I recently landed a new (much better) job, and I think part of the reason I did so well in the interview was because it was more of a conversation about what it takes to do the job well (knowing your terminology helps people!) rather than a question/answer thing.

That's also the approach I take whenever I'm the interviewer. I have my list of questions but rarely do I stick to the script. I usually change my questions on the spot depending on the answers I'm receiving.

[cramx3]

Today was the first day training my new coworker in Amsterdam.  I can relate to the current discussion because when interviewing, not only did we feel that the person needed to be knowledgeable to do the job, but we felt we needed someone who we could relate to and get along with which as Americans, is kind of a challenge to find in Europe.  Not that there's anything wrong with Europeans, but just basic things like how we shoot the shit with each other.  The fact the guy we hired was able to have casual conversation with us and we found a bunch of outside interests that we could relate to was a big reason we chose him.   (and of course he was technically qualified). 

I mean, why would I need to prepare so thoroughly if was actually worthy of the job?

That is a really great point.

I haven't interviewed for a job in so long, so maybe I'm wrong in thinking this, but I feel like I wouldn't put too much effort into preparing for the job itself because of this reason.  I should know this stuff to be qualified.  What I would prepare for is things about the company that I would need to learn so I can ask the right questions. 

[millahh]

I mean, why would I need to prepare so thoroughly if was actually worthy of the job?

That is a really great point.

I haven't interviewed for a job in so long, so maybe I'm wrong in thinking this, but I feel like I wouldn't put too much effort into preparing for the job itself because of this reason.  I should know this stuff to be qualified.  What I would prepare for is things about the company that I would need to learn so I can ask the right questions.

Yeah...do enough prep to understand their business and ask good questions that will help you understand where it's going and how you fit into it (and of course screening for red flags).  But mostly, just go in believing in yourself and know what you're good at, instead of trying to do some kind of perfect performance, or do impression management.  And it'll help the interview go better too, you'll be more at ease and more present.

My stuff is moving along.  Had my interview with the hiring manager for Company A, and he wants to move to next steps; this one is through a recruiter doing a retained search, so high hopes for this one.  Had my third (of seven!) calls with Company B today; they're a smaller biotech and maybe not at the top of the list right now (in terms of the work and the comp), but I'm keeping an open mind. Company C, I had a couple of "courtesy interviews" with VPs, they'd be open to considering creating a position for me, but the kinetics may be a little slow for my needs.  Plus, have a couple others where I've talked to recruiters, but don't realistically see any movement on those before the holiday break.  What I'm hoping is that Company B wants to move forward and that will force Company A's hand to get me an offer quickly.  In addition to getting me the fuck out of the current gig, Company A would be a title bump, a ~25% salary increase, a reasonable working environment, 80% wfh, and is a good match for my career trajectory.  Fingers crossed...

[Stadler]

Today was the first day training my new coworker in Amsterdam.  I can relate to the current discussion because when interviewing, not only did we feel that the person needed to be knowledgeable to do the job, but we felt we needed someone who we could relate to and get along with which as Americans, is kind of a challenge to find in Europe.  Not that there's anything wrong with Europeans, but just basic things like how we shoot the shit with each other.  The fact the guy we hired was able to have casual conversation with us and we found a bunch of outside interests that we could relate to was a big reason we chose him.   (and of course he was technically qualified). 

I mean, why would I need to prepare so thoroughly if was actually worthy of the job?

That is a really great point.

I haven't interviewed for a job in so long, so maybe I'm wrong in thinking this, but I feel like I wouldn't put too much effort into preparing for the job itself because of this reason.  I should know this stuff to be qualified.  What I would prepare for is things about the company that I would need to learn so I can ask the right questions.

This last part.   I think we can go too far the other way.  I know that rapport is important, but - having been on the other side of the desk - if I feel the person is just winging it, they're out.  It depends on the company, of course, but when I was at GE, part of that rapport was being interested and familiar with what OTHER parts of the business were doing.  So while you probably shouldn't (and I know I WOULDN'T) brush up on your technical ability, I think there's some benefit to gathering information before you go in.  If nothing else, like Cram said, it allows you to ask insightful questions.

[Nick]

Thanks for the comments everyone, I have some updates on my situation. I realized that I had over 3 weeks vacation that I had banked that I can't transfer over to next year, time earned due to working my ass off during a pandemic and not wanting to leave my team short and unsupported. And my company doesn't pay that out year over year, you just lose it.

On Wednesday I took a big bet on myself. I officially gave my notice. I gave the company an out, saying that if they agreed to pay my vacation time out I would stay on until I found something new. Given how short staffed we are now they'd be idiots not to take that deal, but honestly they might not, as the company is awful at times.

So now I am facing two scenarios:
1. They do not take me up on my offer, and I'm unemployed come Jan. 1. If I don't get the job I interviewed for I will have 3 weeks of pay, so I can comfortably spend 3 weeks in January doing nothing but job hunting. I'm confident I can secure something in that situation.
2. They do take me up on my offer, I get a couple thousand in the bank and can keep working until I get a new job.

Either way, anxious / exciting times ahead.

[Evermind]

Thanks for the comments everyone, I have some updates on my situation. I realized that I had over 3 weeks vacation that I had banked that I can't transfer over to next year, time earned due to working my ass off during a pandemic and not wanting to leave my team short and unsupported. And my company doesn't pay that out year over year, you just lose it.

So they don't pay you, and the vacation days don't transfer over to next year? That sounds like total bullshit to me but hey, I'm not in the US.

[cramx3]

My company's PTO policy is use it or lose it. No carry over although they did give in and say people can carry over 5 days now. I wish I had a payout option because I get so much PTO that I end up burning days to just chill home. But the benefit is no obstacles to taking our days, just put it on the calendar and no questions asked.

Also state laws may have a thing to say. CA law makes you pay out for example. But in NJ there is no law to force that.

[jingle.boy]

Thanks for the comments everyone, I have some updates on my situation. I realized that I had over 3 weeks vacation that I had banked that I can't transfer over to next year, time earned due to working my ass off during a pandemic and not wanting to leave my team short and unsupported. And my company doesn't pay that out year over year, you just lose it.

So they don't pay you, and the vacation days don't transfer over to next year? That sounds like total bullshit to me but hey, I'm not in the US.

US labour laws HEAVILY favour the company, not the employee.  I've honestly never heard of a company that allows for carry-over, or payout in the US.

[axeman90210]

Both my jobs have had some carryover (either 5 or 10 days, and any carryover has to be used in Q1 of the next year). My former employer would also pay out for any accrued but unused vacation days in the event you left the firm. That worked out quite well for me last year, I left in December of 2020 so had accrued all of my PTO but hadn't touched any of it thanks to covid, so got an extra month's pay on my last paycheck

It's been a year now at my new gig, and it's been mixed (though more good than bad). The team I joined was in chaos when I first got there. The team was understaffed, undertrained, dealing with rapid growth in volume, and the guy running the show (my direct boss) wasn't really cut out for the job. I got a new boss around midyear and things were trending better for a few months. Then we had four people (three of whom were quite experienced) leave the team in the month of October and a fifth go out on emergency person medical leave. November sucked. Worked 8am-10pm M-F and more on the weekends. We had new bodies coming in, but it took them time to get up to speed. We've stabilized now though, the team has gone from 12 to 16, with four more new joiners tee'd up for January and more recs we can open/recruit for once the calendar flips to 2022. With any luck, the team I'm on will be double the size it was when I joined by mid-2022. On a personal level I got a great year-end review, got the highest performance rating in the system (which they don't hand those out freely) and they want to move me to oversee our biggest/most high profile business line next year. Now I just have to be patient and wait until early Feb to find out what kind of bonus that translates into

Thanks for the comments everyone, I have some updates on my situation. I realized that I had over 3 weeks vacation that I had banked that I can't transfer over to next year, time earned due to working my ass off during a pandemic and not wanting to leave my team short and unsupported. And my company doesn't pay that out year over year, you just lose it.

On Wednesday I took a big bet on myself. I officially gave my notice. I gave the company an out, saying that if they agreed to pay my vacation time out I would stay on until I found something new. Given how short staffed we are now they'd be idiots not to take that deal, but honestly they might not, as the company is awful at times.

So now I am facing two scenarios:
1. They do not take me up on my offer, and I'm unemployed come Jan. 1. If I don't get the job I interviewed for I will have 3 weeks of pay, so I can comfortably spend 3 weeks in January doing nothing but job hunting. I'm confident I can secure something in that situation.
2. They do take me up on my offer, I get a couple thousand in the bank and can keep working until I get a new job.

Either way, anxious / exciting times ahead.

Fingers crossed for door number 2

[millahh]

Fingers crossed for door number 2

[Stadler]

Fingers crossed for door number 2

HAHA.

[Ben_Jamin]

Okay....So...

I went on Indeed and looked for places that were hiring. I see Wingstop and decide why not. I go to apply on their site and just started to fill out my application. I only sent in my name, address and phone number and hit next then all of a sudden, I get a call on my phone.

I answer and it's the manager at the Wingstop I was applying at. I told him I didn't even finish the application yet, we laughed then he said if was available for an interview on Friday. I said sure. I go and lo and behold, he offers me the job. I start in about 30 minutes.

I just wanted to post that amazing, hilarious scenario.

Hopefully it goes good and it's not a toxic environment. Doesn't seem like it to me.

[millahh]

@Nick: That is definitely exciting, and a good bet. Kudos to you for having the confidence, recognizing that the current situation sucked, and doing something about it.

@Ben_Jamin: That's pretty cool, if not slightly creepy that filling the first bit of an application generated a contact!  Hope it goes well!

[Ben_Jamin]

@Ben_Jamin: That's pretty cool, if not slightly creepy that filling the first bit of an application generated a contact!  Hope it goes well!

He was looking at the applications at the time and I fortunately happened to apply. Like a text message he probably saw it right away. He even thought that was pretty interesting too.

It went well by the way, co-workers are not too bad now and it went great. My manager said that it's one of the busiest Wingstop's in the area. I actually forgot it's Sunday, there's football today.    I did not stop until my shift was over. So, that was a pretty good first day and if I survived that, I think it'll go good.

[Nick]

Woot, got the job!

First offer was good enough to make it a no brainer.

Expected to take a pay cut, but didn't really end up that way.

10k less in salary, but new job has no out of paycheck medical costs (3.5k annually at current job), and the new job contributes 3k to the HSA, covering the deductible. So that leaves a real net loss of 3.5k, and this job is 10 miles closer for me, so that's 3,000 or so miles less driven, and a ton of time on the road saved for that 3.5k.

Really happy right now. 

[axeman90210]

Congrats!

[millahh]

Congratulations, great news!

[cramx3]

Congrats Nick

Money isn't everything so taking a slight pay cut for a better work/life balance is likely a solid move.

[Stadler]

Happy for you, Nick!  What a way to kick off the new year!

[jingle.boy]

Woot, got the job!

First offer was good enough to make it a no brainer.

Expected to take a pay cut, but didn't really end up that way.

10k less in salary, but new job has no out of paycheck medical costs (3.5k annually at current job), and the new job contributes 3k to the HSA, covering the deductible. So that leaves a real net loss of 3.5k, and this job is 10 miles closer for me, so that's 3,000 or so miles less driven, and a ton of time on the road saved for that 3.5k.

Really happy right now.

Nick right now ...

[millahh]

Holiday break is weirdly stressful...still in limbo on both opportunities.

• Company A: I still need to interview with one more person, and it's not yet scheduled, but hopefully happens quickly after the break. It's definitely my preference...much bigger company, better salary, one day a week onsite, and the paternity leave is a known quantity that I won't need to negotiate on.  Good vibes and feedback so far, including one of the Therapeutic Area Heads I talked to saying he wanted to bring me in...and the headhunter I'm working with placed 3 of the four folks I've interviewed with
• Company B: First round was two people, second round was six more people, plus I know two former colleagues there...which means I've talked to almost 20% of the company  I'd be surprised if I didn't get an offer, but I don't know the leave policy, the salary would probably be ~15% lower, and it would be two days a week onsite (though the office would be sexy, it's at Hudson Yards in Manhattan)

I'm hoping I can use Company B to keep a fire lit under Company A.  B is definitely a fallback position, but even that would be better than the toxic snakepit where I am now.

This is all a very weird position to be in.  I was hoping I could be giving notice next week, but I think best case is early the following week.  I'm definitely getting antsy/stressed about how little time I'll have in role at a new place before the baby shows up (first week of April). And I don't see staying where I am as a remotely viable option, the boss has started targeting/scapegoating/isolating me in ways that are setting off a latent mental health issue, so I just need to get the fuck out of there ASAP.

[gmillerdrake]

Holiday break is weirdly stressful...still in limbo on both opportunities.

• Company A: I still need to interview with one more person, and it's not yet scheduled, but hopefully happens quickly after the break. It's definitely my preference...much bigger company, better salary, one day a week onsite, and the paternity leave is a known quantity that I won't need to negotiate on.  Good vibes and feedback so far, including one of the Therapeutic Area Heads I talked to saying he wanted to bring me in...and the headhunter I'm working with placed 3 of the four folks I've interviewed with
• Company B: First round was two people, second round was six more people, plus I know two former colleagues there...which means I've talked to almost 20% of the company  I'd be surprised if I didn't get an offer, but I don't know the leave policy, the salary would probably be ~15% lower, and it would be two days a week onsite (though the office would be sexy, it's at Hudson Yards in Manhattan)

I'm hoping I can use Company B to keep a fire lit under Company A.  B is definitely a fallback position, but even that would be better than the toxic snakepit where I am now.

This is all a very weird position to be in.  I was hoping I could be giving notice next week, but I think best case is early the following week.  I'm definitely getting antsy/stressed about how little time I'll have in role at a new place before the baby shows up (first week of April). And I don't see staying where I am as a remotely viable option, the boss has started targeting/scapegoating/isolating me in ways that are setting off a latent mental health issue, so I just need to get the fuck out of there ASAP.

Best of luck man.....I really do hope it all resolves itself and you can get to a nice comfortable spot and mentally healthy place.

[lordxizor]

Holiday break is weirdly stressful...still in limbo on both opportunities.

• Company A: I still need to interview with one more person, and it's not yet scheduled, but hopefully happens quickly after the break. It's definitely my preference...much bigger company, better salary, one day a week onsite, and the paternity leave is a known quantity that I won't need to negotiate on.  Good vibes and feedback so far, including one of the Therapeutic Area Heads I talked to saying he wanted to bring me in...and the headhunter I'm working with placed 3 of the four folks I've interviewed with
• Company B: First round was two people, second round was six more people, plus I know two former colleagues there...which means I've talked to almost 20% of the company  I'd be surprised if I didn't get an offer, but I don't know the leave policy, the salary would probably be ~15% lower, and it would be two days a week onsite (though the office would be sexy, it's at Hudson Yards in Manhattan)

I'm hoping I can use Company B to keep a fire lit under Company A.  B is definitely a fallback position, but even that would be better than the toxic snakepit where I am now.

This is all a very weird position to be in.  I was hoping I could be giving notice next week, but I think best case is early the following week.  I'm definitely getting antsy/stressed about how little time I'll have in role at a new place before the baby shows up (first week of April). And I don't see staying where I am as a remotely viable option, the boss has started targeting/scapegoating/isolating me in ways that are setting off a latent mental health issue, so I just need to get the fuck out of there ASAP.

Would you consider just quitting now given that you have a very strong likelihood of being offered one or both of the other jobs?