Honestly SI, your relationship with bacon brings out the sadist in me.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm......
I don't get it.
I think I actually get pleasure out of torturing you with all my bacon ranting, and food ranting in general. For example, yesterday, being the day after VDay, I worked on the grill. Within five feet of me, I had 3 pounds of perfectly cooked bacon, two whole prime ribs cooked to a perfect medium rare, thirty lobster tails, a pan of five spiced duck and scallion pancakes to wrap it in, scallops and bacon jam, filet mignon, and an endless supply of french fries, mashed potatos, and cheddar grits, and I wasn't hungry.