News: Welcome back, Mike Portnoy!

Welcome to The IndyCar Wacky Races of Madness:






Alright, let's try to do the impossible, i.e. successfully complete a trilogy, while doing the very possible, i.e. reading like a a pretentious windbag with just one sentence. Now, for your first test: getting through this behemoth of an OP.


Introduction:

First off, thanks everybody for the massive partecipation. It will never be taken for granted and it always gives me a warm humbling feeling. Now, as a nice reminder to the old gang and due service to the new blood, some orientation for this thing:

Even though always innately curious, I'm not doing this to discover new music; as far as I'm concerned all music can be both new (my collection generally doesn't outreach the Clinton administration and I work with music from two centuries ago) and old (“new” music has been a permutational impossibility for at least 50 years, if I really have to be a dick about it). I'm doing this to foster chaos and competitive animosity while enjoying the way you tinker and get creative with music in order to hurt each other.

Before getting deep into the actual focking way this thing will work, I'm declaring the usual lack of a banned list (i.e. the boring condom to roulette sex) which I'm happily changing into a very useful Tastes Decalogue for Submissions on which you can ad will nail me to when disappointed or puzzled by my responses:

1. Good melody trumps all.
2. High Info music and/or High Emotion Music. The middle ground is extremely risky.
3. Derivative always loses.
4. Unpredictable Harmonies give a great deal of a starting advantage.
5. When in doubt, the best vocalist wins.
6. When both vocalists suck or are excellent, the best guitarist wins.
7. The fastes way to victory is through my feels.
8. Orcs will kill you faster than a bullet.
9. Submit Coldplay, Radiohead, Pantera, Slayer and said bullet may find you already dead.

10. More seriously, I am not one for religion wars, and the only negative feelings I get when tastes don't align are a) envy for someone enjoying something I can't, b) desire for someone to feel my same joy about something instead of vomiting. So I pretty much give a chance to everything while giving pre-conceptual advantages to nothing. If that makes me a roulette agnostic, so be it. On the other hand, my ficklest emotions can turn every rational parameter on its head at every moment. If that makes me a roulette woman, so be it.


General Outline and Gimmick:

I am afraid I have to keep boring you all, but you better get accostumed because it's going to be a bit of a leit motif. In order to maximise my (and hopefully) your fun, I took a hard look to what worked and didn't in my past roulettes and what I love and abhor about roulettes in general. To nobody's shock, what transpired is yet another list of principles:

1. I despise rejecting / negotiating submissions.
2. Eliminations just ruin roulettes.
3. Rankings exclusively based on points are boring and suspense-killers.
4. Hangman solving matters.
5. Player's creativity should matter as much as submitted artist's creativity.
6. You should be the authors' of your opponents' misfortunes as much as the authors of your own success.
7. The Royal Rumble wasn't a bad idea.
8. Everything should facilitate game-loving while player-hating.
9. Alliances and dirt tactics must be endorsed at all costs
10. Whining is futile and invites persecution.


Said list of principles became a roulette constructed as a Ridiculous Driving Race because: a) I live inside Motor Valley (Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Ducati are built inside a 80 kms radius  from IndiMansion and I have always focking loved and destroyed fast cars) b) Apart from Pro Wrestling (which we have already spent) nothing screams dirty childish and hateful competitive upmanship like car drivers overtaking and bumping each other. c) the ballbustin', meming and avatar exploiting potential is virtually limitless. Tl, dr version: you will race on a cartoonish impossible track blatantly designed to feature themed rounds.


Round 1: Qualifying Lap, the only non-themed round. Just send a song you strongly believe in and its raw score will establish your place on the starting grid.

Round 2: The Clusterfock Starting Straight of Chaos. Send me a song that zigs and zags.

Round 3: The Cartoonish Loop de Loop. Send me a song that turns on itself.

Round 4: The Muddy Swamp of Doom. Send me a song that makes me feel dirty.

Round 5: The Corkscrew Brakesburning Bend. Send me a song that stops time.

Round 6: The Bridge. Send me a song joining two songs I will provide.

Round 7: The Daredevil Ramp Jump. Send me a song that makes me fly.

Round 8: The Tenebrous Tunnel. Send me a song that vanquishes darkness.

Round 9: Full Send Suicidal Arrival. Send me a song that makes me crash in traffic.

Optional Round 10 Photo-finish tie-breaker
 


I can see your puzzled mugs, hence I believe it's high time for:


Mechanics and Rules:


. Monday: I post results, you bitch, moan and talk shit to each other. Then you PM me your song (spotify and youtube are fine). Same artists and or songs from different players in the same round are fine, but every artist will be banned after usage. While you submit you can and will point to another player you want to overtake. You have 3 Overtake Points every round, which means you can overtake only targets sitting up to 3 spots ahead of you in the marching order. If your submission score is higher than your target's, then you succeed in swapping positions*. Once I have every submission, I post my Bizarro Hangman.

*If you happen to be #1 in the marching order, you still can use your Overtake Points in order to gain Car Spaces from your immediate chaser. You still need to beat his/her score in order to succeed.


. Tuesday to Friday: You better try and solve said Bizarro Hangman because every item solved will grant you an extra Overtake Point for the next round*. There will not be cooldown or guessing rules, for I want you fierce and salty, but I promise I will be fair in picking the Magic Time-Zones Moment to post, i.e. that time Americans are having breakfast, Euros are digesting lunch, and wolfking is about to turn werewolf and hunt for virgins.

*That's why, even though Round 1 will not feature any overtaking, being a qualifying lap with everybody starting from scratch with no pre-existing marching order, it will be still Bizarro Hung.


. Saturday to Monday: you rest, I listen and adjudicate scores. Every song will be assigned a raw score (1 poor, 2 satisfactory, 3 enjoyable, 4 orgasmic) and – from Round 2 on - a theme score (same values as above). If I already know the song, as far as the raw score is concerned, every 4 turns into a 3. If I don't know the song, every 4 turns into a 5. There must be blind risk involved, otherwise the term “roulette” is betrayed.


. Monday: the story ends where it began. Results will be offered in the form of a vapid commentary describing how the Race is going and translating your dastardly manoevers into fiction. You will pretend to read it and jump straight to the scores and new marching order because you are nothing but rabid roulette hoes.


So,

The whole mess of mechanics discussed above will produce a different marching order every round, one heavily dependent on your tactics, skill, and creativity, and hopefully nothing will be decided until the very end. I believe that's all.


Good, now please confirm your partecipation if you are in the list below or sign in for the last two spots if you aren't. While doing so you could even submit your Round 1 song.


REGARDLESS, THE WHOLE BIZARRO HANGMAN TO RESULTS PROCESS WILL START NEXT MONDAY. I have ways of keeping you occupied and/or entertained until then.

(in order of signing in)

LithoJazzoSphere - confirmed
twosuitsluke - confirmed
Buddyhunter1 - confirmed
Lonk - confirmed
TAC - confirmed
ariich - confirmed
jingle.boy - confirmed
Sacul - confirmed
King Puppies and His Many Groupies - confirmed
wolfking - confirmed
lonestar - confirmed
Kingspostwhore - confirmed
Evermind - confirmed
Crow - confirmed
romdrums - confirmed
Stadler - confirmed
Elite - confirmed

It's Indi.  It is / will be epic! 

I'll read the OP later.   

So, timely submissions are a requirement to keep your schedule, and Elite is a participant. 



Also, it's cute you think the hangman will take 4 days to solve.  I think my last one was done in 90 minutes.  When points are involved, never underestimate Litho or Evermind.

I'm itching to ask a clarifying question, mostly just to annoy Timbo. 

So, timely submissions are a requirement to keep your schedule, and Elite is a participant. 



Also, it's cute you think the hangman will take 4 days to solve.  I think my last one was done in 90 minutes.  When points are involved, never underestimate Litho or Evermind.

I'm itching to ask a clarifying question, mostly just to annoy Timbo. 

Issue #1: it's a race. You are late for green lights, you are left behind for that round and start the next one from last place, and the only fun you spoil is yours. By the way, I remember Elite being quite punctual in my past roulettes. By the way II, attempt to get competition disqualified noted and greatly appreciated.

Issue #2: Gregg is pretty much always right in general, absolutely right about bizarro. 

And sent!!

Wait, wait, wait. This is something that will get Indy's engine running...

This is going to be all kinds of fun! 

Let's a-go.

In that case

KITT is a pussy.  I'll enter the race driving this.

Scenes Thread callback = 100 cheat points

Quote from: King Puppies and the Acid Guppies on January 31, 2024, 08:05:00 AM

Oh it is on!

Like the wrestling roulette, should we be taking on the persona's of actual racing drivers? That was one of the best parts of that roulette.

You can do whatever you please!

Inn that case I will have to be Jeremy Clarkson. He may not be a racing driver exactly, but a car enthusiast for sure.

Quote from: jingle.boy on January 31, 2024, 07:17:30 AM

KITT is a pussy.  I'll enter the race driving this.

Scenes Thread callback = 100 cheat points

I used to fancy myself a McCormick, but nowadays, I'm clearly a Hardcastle.

Hell yeah, I'm going to incarnate one of our legends, Fangio, and only send you stuff from my country

I used to play this as a kid, so all of you are gonna be eatin' my dust and smellin' my rubber while I lap you.