Scenes From A Hat v. I live , I Die, I Live Again!

[Indiscipline]

Inclusive General Hospital: Diff'rent Strokes.

[jingle.boy]

All in the Dysfunctional Modern Family

Sanford and the Bastard Son

Veep 2.0: McCarthy

The Botched Osbournes

[Stadler]

The Cosby Show Redux: Females say the Darndest Things

How I fucked your mother.

Win.  I almost went with "Schiffting Gears" (For some reason the puns on names are hilarious to me) but for it's boldness, this one made me spit up coffee.   You're up.

[wolfking]

   Nice, I was more partial to the Cosby one, but fucking mothers is always a win in my book.  New scene soon!

[TAC]

  Nice, I was more partial to the Cosby one, but fucking mothers is always a win in my book.  New scene soon!

The Cosby one was fantastic. I didn't even bother submitting an answer after reading that one.

[wolfking]

  Nice, I was more partial to the Cosby one, but fucking mothers is always a win in my book.  New scene soon!

The Cosby one was fantastic. I didn't even bother submitting an answer after reading that one.

I was going to say 'Women' instead of 'females' but due to the premise of the joke, 'females' just sounded better and for some reason more sleazy considering the context of it all. 

[wolfking]

The Cosby Show Redux: Females say the Darndest Things

S1E1: Jello Puddin Eatin Mutha Fucka
S1E2: Fat Berta

Missed this.  Eddie Murphy Raw FTW!? 

[wolfking]

Standings:
Jingle.boy - 79
gmillerdrake - 56
Podaar - 37
Kinger- 34 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 26
Stadler - 26
TempusVox - 23
TAC - 20
Cool Chris - 20
hefdaddy42 - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
Jamesman, VMadera, masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, wolfking - 8
Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, DragonAttack, faizoff - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, XJDenton - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, -  3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline -  2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1

Next scene;

Things you don't want to hear from your therapist at the conclusion of your session

[TAC]

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

[Jamesman42]

"I need to call my therapist"

[jingle.boy]

Gotta run, it’s my bowling league.

Great session.  Oh, I’m retiring tomorrow.

Come back next week … Same Bat time; same Bat channel.

[Podaar]

Hahahaha…you’re fucked, mate!

[TAC]

"Tell the missus I said hello."

[Indiscipline]

Open your eyes, Nicholas.

[jingle.boy]

Am I on Candid Camera??

You kids say the darndest things.

[Snow Dog]

Jesus Christ, are you fucked up…

Yeah, I like to crank some Issa between clients. Wanna listen?

[Podaar]

"I feel the exact same way about my job."

[Lonk]

Sorry, I can't help you, I'll refund you the last 5 sessions.

[Stadler]

"If only your penis was larger."

[jingle.boy]

You're an idiot.


You don't understand the power of the dark side ...

[XJDenton]

"Well, the good news is we're naming a disorder after you."

[gmillerdrake]

Honestly.....at this point......just pick a voice and listen to it.

[King Postwhore]

Just pick one of your multiple personalities and stick with it, man!

[DragonAttack]

‘Frankly, I don’t give a damn about Portnoy or Mangini.’

[faizoff]

Therapist "Thank fucking god the cunt is gone"

me "what was that?"

Therapist "I didn't say anything, I think we need to up your dose, you're hearing things."

[gmillerdrake]

Well…..with that being said…..you are what we in the industry call FU%KING INSANE!!

[jingle.boy]

Your story reminds me of the one time I had to consult with Joey Buttafuoco.

[gmillerdrake]

Hold on……gonna need another line of coke after hearing that.

[Cool Chris]

I apologize, I should have said earlier there was an error when they printed my business cards. There should be a space between the E and the R in my job title.

[wolfking]

Lots of quality here.  Might give it another 12 hours and pick a winner tomorrow.

[TAC]

“I think you may be suicidal, but I’ll give it another 12 hours and pick a diagnosis tomorrow.”

[jingle.boy]

“I think you may be suicidal, but I’ll give it another 12 hours and pick a diagnosis tomorrow.”

 

[wolfking]

“I think you may be suicidal, but I’ll give it another 12 hours and pick a diagnosis tomorrow.”

You fucker! 

[wolfking]

I apologize, I should have said earlier there was an error when they printed my business cards. There should be a space between the E and the R in my job title.

  This one has stuck with me, simple but very clever and my type of humor.

WINNER!

[Cool Chris]

Jingle.boy - 79
gmillerdrake - 56
Podaar - 37
Kinger- 34 (or whoosiemegland whatever)
lonestar - 26
Stadler - 26
TempusVox - 23
Cool Chris - 21
TAC - 20
hefdaddy42 - 13
Sir GuitarCozmo - 11
TheSilentHam, Snow Dog - 10
Jamesman, VMadera, masterthes - 9
BlobVanDam, Soupytwist, wolfking - 8
Zydar, El Barto - 7
MetalJunkie, JayOctavarium, DragonAttack, faizoff - 6
LeeHarveyKennedy, TheLordOfTheStrings, - 5
Jarlaxle, Jonnybaxy, Mister Gold, XJDenton - 4
FlyingBIZKIT, Scorpion, Prog Snob, millahh, Master Cup-Zula, DebraKadabra, -  3
AngelBack, Ruba, robwebster, Jaffa,contest sanity, bout to crash, 984759827, Indiscipline -  2
Super Star Wars, Soundgarden, Raven Heart, Pols Voice Lucien, Lolzeez, Ħ , Fiery Winds, der Ruhige Schinken, chknptpie, Cedar-redaC – 1

The holiday tradition of kissing under the mistletoe goes back centuries. Before mistletoe was chosen, however, other items were proposed. The worst suggestion was...