Hey, guys. I first and foremost want to say that I am sorry. I have ignored some things on here for quite some time. When I was here, I was not really present. And then I disappeared altogether for awhile. (I almost always have a browser window open, so I know it looks like I am always on, to those that know how to check; but I haven’t been here in awhile)
I’m not going to give you excuses. But I am going to just tell you what’s been going on, at least a little bit, although I won’t be getting into the details. But I have been going through some very difficult times and I have some very difficult problems, and I have people very close to me that are losing control, and it has all impacted me in ways that are hard to describe and hard to talk about and think about. There have been times when all I could do was literally just ignore the world outside and just cry and withdraw. I have responded largely by denying that anything was wrong and burying it, ignoring it, and not dealing with some things that need to be dealt with. Sometimes, I would actively look for urgent things to pour myself into so that my time would be absorbed into doing that rather than dealing with other important things. On the outside, everything looks fine. My life looks great. But on the inside, it is turmoil and turbulence at times. And the mere thought of dealing with certain things, even some routine ones that shouldn’t be a big deal, causes seemingly uncontrollable anxiety that I don’t know how to cope with.
Again, I’m not making excuses. Just sharing a bit of the why.
As far as the what, that’s not really relevant other than to say that that has obviously carried over here. I have let a lot of things go, haven’t dealt with some things that need to be dealt with, etc. And most of you may not have even noticed. If that describes you, then I’m glad. But I know I have let a lot of you down. And I let my mod/admin team down by not letting them know what was going on so that they could at least try to have some answers for you all when I disappeared. I’m going to try to do better. I have some things I need to handle, including some things here. I’m just asking that you all be patient while I try to pull myself together and do that. This community and the people that have made it great deserve better than I have given.
This isn’t a promise that everything will be fine moving forward. I am trying. And I am getting help. And I do promise that I will do better, because you all deserve that. I’m not “better.” But I am becoming aware of what’s going on, and, as I said, I am getting help.
This also isn’t a cry for help, and as I’ve said, it’s not meant to be a set of excuses. Just letting you know (1) a bit of the “why” I’ve dropped the ball and (2) an apology for doing so. You all have my gratitude for making this an exceptional community. You have my apology for my avoidance of my responsibilities here. Some may choose not to accept either, and that is your prerogative. For those that choose to accept those, thank you. For all of you, I just humbly ask your patience a I try to do better for you all.
Thanks for reading at least some of this long post. I hope it makes a fraction of the sense on screen that it did in my head.
Topic: I’m really, really sorry, DTF (Read 3700 times)
