Ok. Here is the update you’ve all been waiting for. Things have been very weird for a very long time, but they are settling down now.
The whole ordeal started last December and it’s made our whole year one of the most stressful in our entire lives. Things got especially weird in February when my son and daughter in law missed some follow up chemo sessions. There are huge debates from the state vs my son and DIL (and her whole family) about the way this went down. I’m 3000 miles away, and I wasn’t a witness to any of it, so I refuse to make any public judgements on the matter. But the end result was that Violet was taken away from her parents during a welfare check where Florida Department of Child and Families (DCF) didn’t like what they saw. My DIL immediately enlisted her aunt as a guardian, and Violet was placed in an isolated section of the hospital with restricted visitation. The state was concerned enough about things that my son and DIL were restricted to one hour *supervised only* visits, once a week. And Violet’s grandmother (DIL’s mom) was not allowed any visitation at all. The aunt and uncle and also the Guardian Ad Litem would FaceTime us and send us pictures and videos on a regular basis and everything was fine. Though we had some concerns as the aunt and uncle (and actually, my DIL’s whole family) expressed major distrust and disdain for doctors, hospital staff, and the state. Claims that no one knows what they are doing….worst hospital ever…we need to get her out of here…etc etc) This led to putting down a huge retailer for a lawyer in an attempt to force Violet to be transferred to Boston Children’s because it is one of the best in the country, and it was felt that staying in Florida was going to be detrimental to Violet’s ongoing treatment. We contributed a decent amount to help retain this lawyer…which turned into a huge waste of money because the motion was denied and the lawyer stopped working when the money ran out.
In May, we flew down for a visit for the operation to remove the tumor from Violet’s liver. Upon arrival, we personally met with the GAL, hospital staff, and even the doctors briefly as they would come in on their rounds. And everyone seemed friendly and completely competent and it seemed like Violet was receiving the best possible care that could be had.
All we did…was just be NICE to everyone. And we would turn OFF the TV when we visited Violet and read to her and sing to her and play with her. (I read so much Dr Suess on that trip I practically memorized them. LOL)
It was about 3 days into our one week trip, after observing us for awhile, that the GAL began to inquire if we would be willing to take care of Violet. We said that if the state thought that was best, we would be willing to accept that responsibility.
So Florida DCF filed for a transfer and ordered a home study. When the Florida family learned of this, they conference called us and strongly told us that we NEEDED to tell Florida that we did not want Violet. We calmly stated that we could not, in good conscience, do such a thing. That phone call happened in late May after we had returned home. We didn’t hear another word from anyone down there for 3 months.
Being 3000 miles away, and receiving almost no news or updates was absolutely maddening. There were tons of hoops to jump through to get our home child proofed and ready just in case she was suddenly sent here.
But the end result was that just this last Monday, Violet was released to the guardianship of the local aunt and uncle. She is so far cancer free, but she will need a ton of follow up visits, and a lot of therapy. She’s 15 months old, and has been confined to a hospital bed and getting formula through a feeding tube for over half her life. So she needs to learn how to crawl, walk, and eat. But she’s making wonderful progress.
The release stipulated that my wife and I have unsupervised visitation. So one of the upshots of all this is that the court is not ignorant of our existence, and knows that we have everything we need to take care of Violet if anything should happen. My son and DIL still have to be supervised, but they are complying with that and checking in the the GAL often.
We had a FaceTime visit last night and hopefully another one this weekend and everyone is getting along and playing nice.
Thank you to everyone here for your patience and support. As you can see, there was a ton of crap going on that I didn’t really want to talk about while it was happening. But certain things seemed ok to reveal once the dust settled.
And this may not be over yet. But we are honestly happy because (despite what some people in Florida might be thinking) we were never trying to take Violet away. We want what’s best for her, and made ourselves available if necessary. We were concerned about some behaviors we saw, but what we wanted more than anything else was for my son and DIL to get their heads out of their butts and be more responsible. But it sounds like they might be doing that now, so if that is the case then WONDERFUL.
Topic: Help with jammindude’s granddaughter (Read 4546 times)
