Just got married

[gzarruk]

Title says it all, really Any advice is appreciated.

We used LTE's State of Grace for the bride's intro, btw

[Cool Chris]

Any advice is appreciated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyvS0zXsDX4

[Adami]

Never agree with Stadler.


Nothing to do with marriage, just some sound advice.



But really, communication. Don't hide things from her, including your feelings. Don't be a dick, but always talk about how you're feeling. If you fight, you fight, but never let feelings or thoughts fester for too long or else it just brings pain. Communicate well.

[lonestar]

My marriage lasted three years, so whatever I did to fuck that up, don't do it.


Congrats though!!

[Stadler]

Never agree with Stadler.


Nothing to do with marriage, just some sound advice.



But really, communication. Don't hide things from her, including your feelings. Don't be a dick, but always talk about how you're feeling. If you fight, you fight, but never let feelings or thoughts fester for too long or else it just brings pain. Communicate well.

I agree with that. 


Congratulations, bud.  Sincerely.   I'm not very good at it (though getting better) but I'd much rather be married than not.

[TAC]

Any advice is appreciated.

Your second marriage will be better.





Also, pics or it didn't happen.

[King Postwhore]

Any advice is appreciated.

Your second marriage will be better.





Also, pics or it didn't happen.

Congrats and don't listen to this guy who failed. I've been married 28 years.

Listen to your wife.  Help when she is stressed. Let her still have her individually.  Make her feel like she is the sun to your earth.

[WilliamMunny]

Congrats, man!!!!

Advice is great and all, but no two marriages are the same—just focus on being the best version of ‘you’ that you can be, and the rest will take care of itself.

[ReaperKK]

Congrats gzarruk, I've only been married for 3 years but my advice would be to simply communicate. A lot of issues in my marriage often came down to us just not saying what's wrong or assuming the other partner knows what's up.

[XJDenton]

The only advice I can offer is to cherish the time you will share with each other. Congratulations on your wedding.

[Dave_Manchester]

Best advice I ever got (relevant to all relationships, not just nuptial) is learn how to apologise. It's not a simple thing, and for a stubborn so-and-so like me it's proven invaluable over my 9 years of marriage.

[Podaar]

Congrats. Love is the best.

The only advice I can offer is to cherish the time you will share with each other.

This is awesome advice, and to that I would add to take a moment to be intimate at least once per day. You'll have to decide what that means for you, but for me it can be as simple as an long heartfelt hug, an extra kiss when parting, or an unexpected declaration of love. It need not be a big production or seduction...although those have their charms too. 

[Orbert]

Congratulations!

I can't think of anything to add to what's already been said.  I was gonna say something very much like what Podaar said, but he beat me to it and said it better anyway.

[RaiseTheKnife]

Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Gzarruk.  May your new adventure together bring much happiness.  Love doesn't need to be perfect, but it flourishes most when it is genuine. 

[hefdaddy42]

Congratulations!

Make each other laugh.  And laugh together.

[Mladen]

Congratulations, man. 

Also, this is epic:

We used LTE's State of Grace for the bride's intro, btw

[gmillerdrake]

But really, communication. Don't hide things from her, including your feelings. Don't be a dick, but always talk about how you're feeling. If you fight, you fight, but never let feelings or thoughts fester for too long or else it just brings pain. Communicate well.

Follow this advice and everything else will fall into place

[Chino]

Noice! Congrats.

We're in the process of planning our wedding and I just want to say the hell with it and elope     It can be a bit frustrating.

[gmillerdrake]

We're in the process of planning our wedding and I just want to say the hell with it and elope     It can be a bit frustrating.

When we were planning ours.......my father in law told us what he'd set aside for all three of his daughters weddings and said you can take it all and elope or spend it all on a wedding. We both wish now we'd just taken the $$$$ and invested it and had a small ceremony. Our wedding was pretty big I'd guess compared to what I've seen here in the past 5-10 years where smaller more intimate ceremonies are more common.....and I shutter at recalling how much $$$ he spent on his daughters wedding. But, that's the mindset and era he was from so I guess we just kind of played along with it.

[Adami]

Planning my wedding was initially sweet and lovely and then became a stress monster for the both of us.

Everyone gave us the same advice. None of it worked at all.

Luckily the wedding turned out lovely and it was all worth it. Even if Jackie didn’t know how to do the Time Warp well.

[gmillerdrake]

Planning my wedding was initially sweet and lovely and then became a stress monster for the both of us.

Everyone gave us the same advice. None of it worked at all.

Luckily the wedding turned out lovely and it was all worth it. Even if Jackie didn’t know how to do the Time Warp well.

I 'helped' as much as I could but honestly, outside of the guest list and giving feedback on the catering choice.....I just nodded my head 'yes' to most everything. That was another aspect of it....my FIL essentially told me to do so. He was pretty old school when it came to that and he wanted his daughter to have everything SHE wanted. And, I was totally fine with that.

[Nick]

Congrats!

[Podaar]

We're in the process of planning our wedding and I just want to say the hell with it and elope     It can be a bit frustrating.

When we were planning ours.......my father in law told us what he'd set aside for all three of his daughters weddings and said you can take it all and elope or spend it all on a wedding. We both wish now we'd just taken the $$$$ and invested it and had a small ceremony. Our wedding was pretty big I'd guess compared to what I've seen here in the past 5-10 years where smaller more intimate ceremonies are more common.....and I shutter at recalling how much $$$ he spent on his daughters wedding. But, that's the mindset and era he was from so I guess we just kind of played along with it.

Yeah, I did the same thing for my daughters.

My eldest took the money and had a small wedding on the cheap. Middle daughter went to the County offices and had a small wedding right next to the licensing bureau...put the money in an IRA. The youngest blew the wad on a giant wedding and asked me to officiate. It was a lot of fun and very memorable but five years later she tells me she wishes she would have kept the money. 

[cramx3]

Not married so I don't have advice to give, but congratulations!

[Evermind]

Middle daughter went to the County offices and had a small wedding right next to the licensing bureau...put the money in an IRA.

Irish Republican Army?

[gmillerdrake]

We're in the process of planning our wedding and I just want to say the hell with it and elope     It can be a bit frustrating.

When we were planning ours.......my father in law told us what he'd set aside for all three of his daughters weddings and said you can take it all and elope or spend it all on a wedding. We both wish now we'd just taken the $$$$ and invested it and had a small ceremony. Our wedding was pretty big I'd guess compared to what I've seen here in the past 5-10 years where smaller more intimate ceremonies are more common.....and I shutter at recalling how much $$$ he spent on his daughters wedding. But, that's the mindset and era he was from so I guess we just kind of played along with it.

Yeah, I did the same thing for my daughters.

My eldest took the money and had a small wedding on the cheap. Middle daughter went to the County offices and had a small wedding right next to the licensing bureau...put the money in an IRA. The youngest blew the wad on a giant wedding and asked me to officiate. It was a lot of fun and very memorable but five years later she tells me she wishes she would have kept the money. 

Yeah.....don't get me wrong.....it was a great day and super fun and all....but....I think that once you look back on it and realize that the moment/memories could have been just the same or better for a fraction of the cost....it sets in     Oh well.....

[cramx3]

My best friend also says he wished he had the option to take the money his wife's parents put into the wedding instead of having the big wedding, but his wedding was also incredible and one of the best I've been to.  It's tough.  My older sister also had a crazy huge wedding and people still bring it up constantly as a great memory.  I'm torn myself.  I don't want a huge wedding (if I were to get married) but I also would want it to be super memorable for everyone and not just "another wedding".  Having said that, at this point in my life, I see eloping to be a more likely option. 

[Cool Chris]

My wife's family gave us some money, which they had set aside for years for both her and her sister. It wasn't exorbitant, but more than we would have been able to spend on our own.

I had a job at a wedding venue in college and spend lots of time working with couple planning their event and probably tended bar at 100+ receptions. My wife was more than content to let me handle the brunt of the planning for our wedding. She basically had one request, and that was the venue, which she had in mind as where she wanted to get married before we even met. It was within our budget, so she said "Great, book it! I'll trust you with everything else." It was actually lots of fun. I new what worked, what didn't, what questions to ask, and how to allocate the budget. My wife will still randomly think of our wedding and say "that was such a great day!"

[gzarruk]

I'll be married for a whole week later today (it's already over midnight here) but I've just been able to read all of the respondes here now. Thank you all for your advice and input so far!

And I can confirm, planning a wedding can be one of the most frustrating, annoying and exhausting things you can ever do in your life. I know I spent most of last year feeling that way. Also, lots of my money seemed vanish for no apparent reason

I was against having a big wedding, but she wanted her dream event, and finding a compromise for both was not easy or funny. However, we enjoyed our ceremony a lot and everything went smoothly for the most part... until we had to make an unexpected trip to the ER the following day because it turns out my wife is allergic to some kind of mosquito bites and there were lots of them in the countryside where we had our wedding. What a great honeymoon experience!

[DTwwbwMP]

Congrats! I've been married for 35 years and best advice I could give is "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF"!

[TheBarstoolWarrior]

The guy who said don't sweat the small stuff is right. It becomes so easy to get into arguments over nothing when you are with someone so often.

Here is another thing, that I think is critically important and not discussed openly enough because, well, it's a difficult topic:

The other advice I have for you is to take care of your yourself physically and try to encourage her to do the same, in a respectful way. Keep up physical appearances and make a long term effort at intimacy. Why? You are both -- but particularly you, as the male -- are trying to do something extremely un-natural and against human nature, which is commit to one vagina for the rest of your life. For reasons that are likely obvious to anyone with testicles, by default you are at serious risk of getting bored and being tempted by other women, especially as you both grow older and become infertile. Evolution has programmed your brain to plant the seed in as many uteri as possible. In order to avoid cheating, you need to do everything possible to maintain romantic intrigue/interest in your marriage and part of this is making sure you are still attractive to each other. You are in the first inning, from what it sounds like, so this may sound like the furthest thing from your mind today. But trust me, over time you WILL be sexually attracted and want to fornicate with other women, even if you defy the odds and remain totally satisfied in your marriage.

Tis a tale widespread and old as marriage itself: man and woman fall in love, man (and/or woman) cheats, marriage falls apart due to loss of trust. Just be aware and be prepared.