Author Topic: Dear Neighbor, (Read 19995 times)

True Death of Life · « **Reply #70 on:** September 14, 2009, 07:51:13 PM »

And to say you aren't funny...?!

icysk8r · « **Reply #71 on:** September 14, 2009, 07:52:41 PM »

Quote from: True Death of Life on September 14, 2009, 07:51:13 PM

And to say you aren't funny...?!

Thank you, thank you.

Shadoshi · « **Reply #72 on:** September 14, 2009, 09:29:02 PM »

@icy:

Okay, THAT was actually funny.

icysk8r · « **Reply #73 on:** September 14, 2009, 10:04:40 PM »

Quote from: Shadoshi on September 14, 2009, 09:29:02 PM

@icy:
Okay, THAT was actually funny.

I am so proud now.

blackngold29 · « **Reply #74 on:** September 14, 2009, 10:10:25 PM »

Dear myself,

You just got a 50% on an un-timed, online, open book, open notes test. How the hell did you fuck that up? Your grade has been lowered by over 20% within about 20 minutes. You don't really deserve to buy the new Porcupine Tree album or the new Dan Brown book tomorrow. What the hell are you going to do tomorrow when you have the music test which will be exponentially more difficult?

Fuck you,

Me

ariich · « **Reply #75 on:** September 15, 2009, 12:38:23 AM »

Quote from: Shadoshi on September 14, 2009, 06:02:29 PM

Dear people who bitch about people who bitch every time some event or bit of news starts getting a lot of attention,

Stop. You're only encouraging more arguments from the people who bitch every time some event or bit of news starts getting a lot of attention and messages such as this one.

I'm super duper serious,

Dear Shadoshi,

My brain hurts. Damn you!

Yours sincerely,

Blerghngggggg.

blackngold29 · « **Reply #76 on:** September 15, 2009, 12:41:35 AM »

Quote from: blackngold29 on September 14, 2009, 10:10:25 PM

Dear myself,

You just got a 50% on an un-timed, online, open book, open notes test. How the hell did you fuck that up? Your grade has been lowered by over 20% within about 20 minutes. You don't really deserve to buy the new Porcupine Tree album or the new Dan Brown book tomorrow. What the hell are you going to do tomorrow when you have the music test which will be exponentially more difficult?

Fuck you,

Me

Re: Myself,

You just forced yourself to stay up until 2AM to do your music test tonight, and you got an A. Your other class still sucks however, but----
Alright screw that, writing in the third person to myself is too confusing.

Dear Neon,

Your thread rocks.

Me.

bout to crash · « **Reply #77 on:** September 15, 2009, 02:10:41 AM »

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

Why the FUCK do you have to wear high heels all day and bang around right above my head? Are you a hooker? Porn star? If not, no excuse. Do you even know how much you're damaging your body? Would it be so hard to leave the shoes by the door, put them on when you're leaving the room early in the morning, and take them off when you get back? I thought that was a Chinese custom anyway.
And why do you have to speak at such a high volume to someone who is right next to you? At two in the morning? What the fuck?

Love,

Jackie

tri.ad · « **Reply #78 on:** September 15, 2009, 04:58:30 AM »

Dear neighbour,

Stop listening to music with the volume up to 11 at 2:30 am. There are people who are trying to sleep. Turn it down or else I will send an army of low frequencies with my bass through the wall straight into your room. Until you kneel in front of me begging to stop. With tears of blood in your eyes.

Sincerely,
Your sleep-deprived and a little bit angry neighbour.

Dear Chinese restaurant,

Why are you so damn good? Why is it that every time I've finished eating at yours, I don't feel any remorse at all? What am I going to do when you have to be closed down?

Sincerely,
Fat-ass-to-be

Dear acidrain,

Stop being such a Runrig-hating Iain.

Sincerely,
The Runrig-loving Iain.

Arcaeus · « **Reply #79 on:** September 15, 2009, 04:59:31 AM »

Dear Jackie,

I would of thought you understood the strange ways in which women work, considering you are one.

I guess no one fucking understands women,

Arcaeus

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #80 on:** September 15, 2009, 05:22:46 AM »

Quote from: tri.ad on September 15, 2009, 04:58:30 AM

Dear acidrain,

Stop being such a Runrig-hating Iain.

Sincerely,
The Runrig-loving Iain.

Never!

Runrig are for Iains.

Dear work,

Where did you come from all of a sudden? Now I can't get rid of you and I'm overwhelmed.

Sincearly,

Not Nick

Shadoshi · « **Reply #81 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:17:58 PM »

Quote from: ariich on September 15, 2009, 12:38:23 AM

Dear Shadoshi,

My brain hurts. Damn you!

Yours sincerely,

Blerghngggggg.

Dear Blerghngggggg,

I have a story that will help you understand.

Quote from: my screenplay

WIFE: Tell me the truth Willithford. Am I the best woman?

WILLITHFORD: The best? I love you, but I have seen women that I like more.

WIFE (Infuriated): Who was she?

WILLITHFORD: "Women" is plural.

WIFE: Who was shes?

WILLITHFORD: As if you have not seen other men you like more than myself?

WIFE: I've never seen anything! I'm blind!

WILLITHFORD: Should I call a doctor?

WIFE: Only if I can clip your toenails.

WILLITHFORD: I love you for that reason, and that reason only.

WIFE (Excited): Oh Willithford!

WILLITHFORD (Excited): Oh wife!

I hope that helped.

Love,

axeman90210 · « **Reply #82 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:18:44 PM »

Dear Inconsiderate assholes doing roadwork directly below my apartment,

How the fuck am I supposed to lounge around and watch Heroes or take a mid day nap with all that noise. I will be out of my apartment tonight from 7-9:30 and tomorrow 4:30-9:30, these are the appropriate times for doing work.

Thanks,
Bill

bout to crash · « **Reply #83 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:29:26 PM »

Quote from: tri.ad on September 15, 2009, 04:58:30 AM

Dear Chinese restaurant,

Why are you so damn good? Why is it that every time I've finished eating at yours, I don't feel any remorse at all? What am I going to do when you have to be closed down?

Sincerely,
Fat-ass-to-be

Dear Chinese Restaurant,

How the hell do you fit so much food into those tiny containers? Is it magic? And how come I'm always hungry an hour after I stuff myself with your delicious food? Is that also magic? Please reply. Thanks,

Jackie

Quote from: Arcaeus on September 15, 2009, 04:59:31 AM

Dear Jackie,

I would of thought you understood the strange ways in which women work, considering you are one.

I guess no one fucking understands women,

Arcaeus

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #84 on:** September 15, 2009, 01:48:44 PM »

Dear Nick,

Dammit.

Sincerely,

DTF

Shadoshi · « **Reply #85 on:** September 15, 2009, 02:20:49 PM »

Quote from: acidrainlte on September 15, 2009, 01:48:44 PM

Dear Nick,

Dammit.

Sincerely,

DTF

I can't believe no one got to that before you.

Orbert · « **Reply #86 on:** September 15, 2009, 02:57:27 PM »

Dear Neighbor,

You understand why your wife won't let you smoke your fucking cigars in the house, don't you? Because they fucking smell! So what makes you think we want our house to smell like your fucking cigars?

Yeah, it's your driveway. It is also about ten feet from our house and we have the windows open in the summer. You don't notice the smoke blowing right into our house? You can't stand in the backyard or something? You have to stand right outside our windows and smoke your fucking cigars?

Orbert

P.S.: Gah-damn your wife is ugly! I mean... shit!

Shadoshi · « **Reply #87 on:** September 15, 2009, 03:00:15 PM »

Quote from: Orbert on September 15, 2009, 02:57:27 PM

Dear Neighbor,

You understand why your wife won't let you smoke your fucking cigars in the house, don't you? Because they fucking smell! So what makes you think we want our house to smell like your fucking cigars?

Yeah, it's your driveway. It is also about ten feet from our house and we have the windows open in the summer. You don't notice the smoke blowing right into our house? You can't stand in the backyard or something? You have to stand right outside our windows and smoke your fucking cigars?

Orbert

P.S.: Gah-damn your wife is ugly! I mean... shit!

Gwii · « **Reply #88 on:** September 15, 2009, 05:46:09 PM »

Dear Student Affairs Department,

When you decide to sponsor a free coffee giveaway, it might be better to email students about it before it takes place, not 90 minutes after it starts.

Yours Truly,

Burned out student in need of caffeine

Pyroph · « **Reply #89 on:** September 16, 2009, 09:58:55 PM »

Dear neighbor(s)

Stop pulling the fucking fire alarm. I'm trying to sleep.

Sincerely,

That quiet guy who you think is an asshole but it's really you.

sonatafanica · « **Reply #90 on:** September 16, 2009, 10:06:46 PM »

Dear my new manual transmission car,

FUCK YOU.

No, seriously, fuck off. I hate you. It's like driving a retard.

"WUT? You didn't press the gas hard enough when you let off the clutch? I guess I'll just turn the whole car off HERP DERP"

Sincerely, sonatafanica

Neccy60 · « **Reply #91 on:** September 16, 2009, 10:15:28 PM »

Dear College,

I would prefer it if you gave me my financial aid before classes start and registration ends, not 25 days into the school year when it is too late to actually get an education until January.

Sincerely,

Neccy60

icysk8r · « **Reply #92 on:** September 16, 2009, 10:35:00 PM »

Yo Tayla,

I'ma lechu finish, but beyonce had one of the best videos of all time

-Kanye [aka, god, best rapper on Earth, etc.]

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #93 on:** September 17, 2009, 02:25:25 AM »

Quote from: sonatafanica on September 16, 2009, 10:06:46 PM

Dear my new manual transmission car,

FUCK YOU.

No, seriously, fuck off. I hate you. It's like driving a retard.

"WUT? You didn't press the gas hard enough when you let off the clutch? I guess I'll just turn the whole car off HERP DERP"

Sincerely, sonatafanica

Driving fail.

Dear flat mate's girlfriend,

Stop calling him 24/7, it's really annoying and you've been going out with him for ages now so why all the phone calls? WHY?!

Regards,

Someone who is getting quite impatient with constant interruptions while playing games, watching TV etc.

Phantasmatron · « **Reply #94 on:** September 17, 2009, 02:29:53 AM »

Dear irate customer,

Please don't tell me how to do my job. Be assured that I make all my calls for good reasons. I'm sorry it took you a long time to get your food because we were training a new register operator. Please try to understand that if we never trained anyone, you'd always get slow service instead of just this once.

Sincerely,

The manager who patiently put up with your childish temper tantrum

Orbert · « **Reply #95 on:** September 17, 2009, 11:10:06 AM »

Quote from: acidrainlte on September 17, 2009, 02:25:25 AM

Quote from: sonatafanica on September 16, 2009, 10:06:46 PM
Dear my new manual transmission car,

FUCK YOU.

No, seriously, fuck off. I hate you. It's like driving a retard.

"WUT? You didn't press the gas hard enough when you let off the clutch? I guess I'll just turn the whole car off HERP DERP"

Sincerely, sonatafanica
Driving fail.

+1

Sorry dude, but real men can drive manual.

AcidLameLTE · « **Reply #96 on:** September 17, 2009, 11:15:00 AM »

It's not that difficult either. I could do it in my first lesson without having any past experience.

sonatafanica · « **Reply #97 on:** September 17, 2009, 11:23:56 AM »

Oh, I'm learning just fine, but it's sort of frustrating.

True Death of Life · « **Reply #98 on:** September 17, 2009, 06:16:54 PM »

Dear Geometry binder,

What the hell. 7 paper cuts by the end of the day, and it's ALL YOU. I knew I hated math. I knew I hated YOU. What the hell. What the hell.

Sincerely,

Bleeding

blackngold29 · « **Reply #99 on:** September 17, 2009, 07:59:28 PM »

Dear teachers,

15 new projects, papers, and tests assigned in one week. Seriously? I know it's college, but you don't get paid by the assignment.

From,

No free time for three weeks.

sonatafanica · « **Reply #100 on:** September 17, 2009, 08:05:54 PM »

Dear DTF,

This relationship is killing me. I love spending time with you, but sometimes I need to do more than sit at my desk wearing a viking helmet whilst listening to power metal and browsing you. Are you aware that I have assignments for college that I need to get done? I just don't understand.

Sinseriously,

Easily distracted student who actually doesn't listen to that much power metal at all.

Shadoshi · « **Reply #101 on:** September 17, 2009, 08:09:28 PM »

Dear sonatafancia,

I apologize for your loss. But for God's sake, get that thing out of the road before someone trips over it.

Love,

ariich · « **Reply #102 on:** September 18, 2009, 11:30:20 AM »

Quote from: sonatafanica on September 17, 2009, 08:05:54 PM

sometimes I need to do more than sit at my desk wearing a viking helmet whilst listening to power metal and browsing you.

Dear sonatafanica

You made me laugh which subsequently made me cough horrifically, and now my parents think I'm weird. You're mean.

Sincerely,

Probably Dying of Swine Flu.

sonatafanica · « **Reply #103 on:** September 18, 2009, 11:33:04 AM »

Dear ariich,

All English people look the same.

Love,

Sonafafanifa

ResultsMayVary · « **Reply #104 on:** September 18, 2009, 11:35:54 AM »

Dear Ariich,

I'm still stunned that you deleted 525 of my posts. Dammit.

Sincerely,
RMV

News: Dream Theater Forums: Biggest Dream Theater online community since 2007.

Author Topic: Dear Neighbor, (Read 19995 times)