My story.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2c6GhopVhPdUEsbZaXOFH6?si=m3twSm0xQE-trjWd5Lr6dg&utm_source=copy-linkTitle: The Composition of Life.
Mateo always wanted to be a painter. He idolized the greats. Michelangelo, Raphael, Caravaggio. He strived to fulfill his passion of all mediums. Oil was his favorite to use. Oils seems to pop off the canvas. He kept painting, word of mouth was spreading. People in town wanted to see his works. (Gold – Barock Project)
Word of his painting spread to distant towns. His brushstrokes were second to none. To him, it was a joy just to do what he loved. He never thought of himself as better than others. Just a passion he loved working daily. He was (A Truly Gifted Man – A.C.T.)
Though he loved what he was doing, he found it wasn’t paying the bills. He struggled to sell his painting because they were so personal to him but to survive and paint more he had to. It was an uphill battle always to balance his passion for his art and to keep a roof over his head. ( More of A Climb, Less of a Walk – This Day & Age)
It was here he would find out what he was made of. The inner turmoil to feed his passion as well as survive. Doubt crept in at times. He fought himself many times. The inner turmoil. (Who You Are – Yesternight)
Slowly he became bitter at critics, at the struggle to make money. Where was all the accolades of before? He still had fans of his works. He couldn’t understand the harshness of hat the critics wrote and why he couldn’t make more money. He fought these feeling. “To hell with them! I will do what I love! He said to himself, unabashed. (Judas Unrepentant – Big Big Train)
Still he had a big chip on his shoulders. He became bitter, hard to talk to. He felt at ease with the canvas, but not with human interaction. Was it in his head? Was it easier to hide behind the canvas? It seemed Mateo was pulling back from the world. (And The Grudge(Still Here) – Anasazi)
For years Mateo still worked, was still bitter and still hid behind his work. He looked back upon his work wondering if his anger fueled his art or did it hold him back? He slowly worked his way from behind the canvas to in front of humans again. Looking back on his journey, he forgot how much he loved to paint and to share his works with others. This brought a renewal late in his life for the love and passion of painting and sharing. (Sepia & White – Abel Ganz)
At his deathbed with his family and paintings sprawled around the room, he wondered if he let life get to him or did he live a good life. Ever tormented in his head, not sure what the answer is he closes his eyes for the last time. (A Room With a View – Anubis)