I'll own whatever I need to own. I was pecking away on a phone during a 15 minute break and could have laid things out better at home on a PC.
This is a class A district and a wealthy one. I live in Central Florida. My wife's friend lives in Michigan.
One thing I learned from this conversation that I didn't realize (see my first sentence about not knowing what everyone else probably knows) is that this is a highly politicized subject. I was looking at it from a parenting perspective. The whole thing just seems so weird and detached from reality. Like snowflake parents on steroids.
This is really the most heartbreaking facet of the story.
I am a parent of a soon to be 21 y/o autistic son. Yes, we needed accommodations when he was in school. Compared to some issues kids have, my wife and I considered ourselves quite lucky with my son's challenges.
When I hear of things like..transgender, comfort animals, etc... I always think..what if that were my son..or daughter. How would I want this to go?
We had an aquaintance in town who's daughter thought she was transgender when they were in like 5th or 6th grade. The father, who was a lawyer (and was happy to tell whoever he could, a fucking blowhard), fucking accosted the school officials on behalf of his daughter.
There's a fine line between advocating and threatening. Especially when it's your child.
We're in a similar boat; you know that. And we've had to have certain accommodations. It's a case-by-case thing, and it's sometimes situational. I've written about some of this before; my stepson (he's technically my step son, but I think of him as my son) was being physically restrained on a weekly basis; they even had a room with blue padding to "let him calm down". We were having biweekly meetings with the school, and finally we opted for a full psych exam. We paid for it (it was several thousand dollars) but it was something that the school LEGALLY should have paid for, so this is something that is open to ALL students. That was when the autism spectrum diagnosis came through; he has literally not once been restrained since then. It was all a matter of understanding the root cause and dealing with it appropriately. I've alluded to it twice now, but the specifics of the matter are, the kids had to share two "interesting facts" about themselves to the class. Now, he's new to the school (as of January; we moved in large part because his old school system, which I've written about a lot, is a shit show on ice) and he's a... conspicuous kid; he's 14 years old, 6'1" and 260 lbs. who faced a significant amount of bullying in his previous school, and the current administration knows that from our pre-school meetings. One of his "facts" was simply that he identifies as a "furry". We've talked about it, to the best of my limited knowledge and with the help of a therapist and at least so far, there are none of the "behavioral" aspects, and none of the "sexual" aspects. As part of the sensory processing issues he has, he likes the idea of coat of fur, and often (at home) wears an orange fuzzy blanket around him and I think there's an association there that he's made. His online presence at gaming forums and what-not are as a "fox".
When he went to disclose that, the teacher pulled him aside and handled it 10000000000% correctly, IMO. She honored him, saying she understood his wanting to be open, but she counseled him to contemplate the consequences, to think hard about whether OTHER kids would accept that at face value (or draw assumptions). She notified us of the discussion, and her advice, and asked us to weigh in before she went forward with the classroom exercise where the students would stand up and present. Now, on one hand, I get the teacher's position, and based on my way of thinking, that's the way I would go. I'd pick two facts that were a little less... personal or open to interpretation. But I also get the need this child has to be accepted for who he is. I've been around for about 60 or 65% of his life, now, and am a father-figure of sorts (I've also written about his shit-head dad; his response on the team call with the teacher? "What the hell's a furry. I've never heard of that in my life!" Flat out lie, since he regularly hacks into his son's online accounts.). As such I've tried to reinforce in him all the things it's taken me decades to learn: be considerate of others, and their feelings, but be just as kind to your own feelings. You can't control your feelings, but you CAN control - and you're responsible for - your actions in handling your feelings. Be who you are, love who you are, love who you want to love, and build your own story. DO things. Experience things. Talk to people. Share with people. But at 14, we're not good at assessing or accepting consequences. He WANTS to be liked, and this is potentially one of those things that bring his various life goals into conflict. And he has to resolve that, perhaps with our (his mom and me) help. We did finally suggest that he opt for less complicated facts, but that if he really insisted on sharing that facet of his life, do so in a manner that minimizes that complication. Perhaps rather than say "I'm a furry", share his affinity with foxes and leave the "f-word" out of it for now. Those that know can make the implication, and those that don't, or aren't inclined to be tolerant, can be kept at arm's length. Not perfect, but the world isn't perfect.
Topic: Identifying As A Furry? (Read 9013 times)
