My poor brain with so many all at once. Not that a hand full has blown my circuits, just to put it simple, my brain has no focus, unless triggered. I can seem to focus but it is around 35% brain power. I notice too much at once and can't isolate from distraction. Growing up I was exhausted by 8.00pm until College. Mostly because class and everything around me had my brain running 100% trying to focus on class work and other things. That is why I can't work with others, in having my brain feel distracted at random occurances. Nothing wrong with replies and questions, just I'll pop in and out to keep my own sanity so to speak.
In the mean time, here is my funny short non fiction story of house ownership. Mostly I have not been up to humor writing as much as I had been before Corona, this may suffice for the time being. There is a part 2, but I feel it would be mocked as a bloody novel. Ha! Boring one too many into coma, and making me the 1st ever to be banned for being a detriment to society.
Oddly true...
Through the years of home ownership, our houses becomes possessed.
Strange as it is... nothing seems at it seems.
Toilets that fail to flush.
Sump pumps that fail to pump in a heavy rain.
Roofs become aged before your eyes
Everything flows outside of its drain.
Gremlins lurking, and swapping wires, chomping on Internet cables
Our garden goats eating grass clean to the root.
Electronic thermostats go wonky after a battery replacement.
Fan motors burn out and squeal violently.
Cement reinforced parkway's crack and become craggy crumbles every 3 to 4 years.
If you have ever read Henry Rollins' 'Smile You're Traveling' book... this is just as fun (minus most of the swearing... boo, hiss, bloody hell), or not so fun depending on which side of the fence you stand... beware toilets may cause trouble if you are too close to the fence.
After the first 5 years...
The air conditioning won't cool, and it's our first 90° F day... emergency call to a repair man. Nice man in general... quickly looks at our compressor. No issues... so he looks at our thermostat. I told him a new battery was just in stalled. No problem... pops the top and pushes a reset button. Bam air conditioning functional. He recommends replacement if it happens again.
I started noticing more often a heating and air conditioning repair man stopping by all over our housing complex through the months and on through the years. Our first warning.
Well, I would be on the Internet at the time, but our garden goats (a team of hired grounds keepers) decided to trim around our side pathways between the houses. The chopped our telco wires with some weed eater from hell! Yep, cut them clean through.
By the way... them garden goats will take all day to cut around our block. Not that bad, but the noise can be very annoying, as they seem to congregate around our house. Back and forth and around. One after another. Blower, lawn cutter, weed cutter, and use the blower once more... like go away, nothing is left to cut or blow. Keep it up and you'll hit bed rock! Stop, God please stop!
Also them garden goats will cut grass in the rain or soon after... who in their right mind cuts grass in the freaking rain! Crimey!
We put up with DSL, for a bit longer until out satellite TV subscription was done. On to cable internet. Nope, not going to happen. No Internet for you!
Them goats, had chopped our underground tv cable from the last event, that had gone unnoticed, until found. No problem our cable provider fixed it in a few days. Though Internet would drop off time to time. The bloody switch, which we were connected to, was bloody taxed. Not enough band width and cross talk, with signal leakage. Fixed until... the next update which happend a few years later. No problem, I took matters on my own, fixed the issue by adding attenuators to bring our overly high signal strength to a normal level.
Oh not to mention the parade of the toilets along our streets. Every once and a while, a toilet would be released to the wild. Part of our nature loving neighborhood. Eventually the toilet will move on and live free, where they can thrive in a natural invironment on their own.
If your lucky you can spot up to 3 of those things scattered along our housing site. You may want to bring a camera, for recording the sightings. As it has become rarer now to see just one, these days.
One year we had a heavy rain... which brought in an onslaught of plumbers and repair crews. From faulty sump pumps in basements. Ours was not faulty one bit... it became an indoor fountain. Water being pumped 4 feet above the pipe. The seal to the out bound pipe blew out at the one way valve.
No problem our plumber was so busy, he saw the issue and temporarily fixed the pipe, by rerouting it to the sewer, not the gutter piping. Some how the exit pipe got sealed shut. No problem to the fix and left a card to fix at a later time.
Then later on, a garage door spring broke... which was not much of an issue. Until 4 years later... pop the other failed. Moral of the story, tell your repair man to replace both at the same time, or it can double by the service call costs.
Late in the year at the start of winter snow... 19° F weather outside, our heater fails when wife was just released from hospital. I turned on the heater, and within minutes the vents started smoking, and odd noise then nothing. So emergency fix was needed. Had the motor replaced, and set our fans to say stay on, instead of being used only when needed. Keeps the fan from wear and tear, and if it fails again, odds are it won't fail, when really needed. Been running ever since.
For no apparent reason our house's roofs started looking tattered, all rolled edged with some shingles completely missing. These Roofs have a 25 year life cycle... Lucky for us our house was completed almost 2 years after the ones first built. So nothing noticable for now... until another 5 years... time to replace. Found out in 2000 the shingle manufacturer went belly up. Just as you guessed it, for their wonderful product.
After the 2nd attempt to replace our crumbled cement drive, a new neighbor, decides to have our shared lawn replaced with landscaping. Yes our lawns were in tatters from our wonderful garden goats. Eating the tops right down to the roots. It was nice... our neighbor would go around and meticulously pick wee weeds and mushrooms that would pop up randomly. Also cut and watered the lawn himself. Our garden goats were told not to touch our lawn. At one time google maps showed our lawn as the greenest lawn for a full 1 mile radius. We could have owned a best lawn award if 'Homes and Gardens' knew of us. It did not last long... he moved away a few months down the road. Now it looks pretty much the same as everyone elses.
Another attempt at fixing our ever crumbling cement drive... for a 3rd time, and will need another fix, as it's cracking and separating very well now, mind you.
Well our garden goats had another fine idea, they decided to airate our lawn. This time used extra deep plug depths. Which cut all our connections below the sod depth, to our house. Great no phone, and no cable. We were not the only ones. A smattering of houses were effected.
What was really wonderful, was soon after discovery, I looked at the lawn to see our cable ripped out and laying out in the open, when it was to be under the sod. Also the sod had been cleanly cut and piled as if someone was going to plant a tree. After showing our neighbor, he said take a picture... never happened, as I had been busy with contacting the proper people to fix the cables. By the time I got around to taking the pictures, the bloody goat quietly repaired the evidence. Broken wire buried under sod. Like let's see it grow into a nice shrub. Bloody numpty! I can imagine, stopping the bugger and confronting him. No I will not explain my thoughts on that one. All I can say that wire will be buried deep in his...
For a short time, our neighborhood had toppling mailboxs. The posts world rot below ground. So as you guessed, random mail box topplings.
Which brings up our latest episode... I need to explain our rubbish bin mishap of December. We had high winds which blew bins over and slid them across to jumble up. Some how ours got nicked by our neighbor, accross the street. I was left with a much larger bin from our recently moved neighbor's house. I used it temporarily, until our bin showed up next door. Don't know what it was up to, it was like a teen aged daughter showing up late in the morn after a night out. Won't tell you where she went, and gets put away in he room, silent.
Anywho, the other bin was returned, and safe and sound.
Today... rubish pickup was freaking amazing! I pulled out to do my errands, and noticed our mail box was missing. Gone! I got out of my car and noticed the mail box on the ground, along with the mail box post light up topper.
Obviously the automated bin picker grabbed our mail box and ripped it off the post. So I got our new mail box installed, along with our neighbors which shares our post. They stopped after pulling out their car, so I explained what had happened. Was given new box that they had for a replacement. Yep you guessed it, that will be the next thing to be in the neighborhood's replacement list, as the mailboxes are getting tatty looking with rust and worn hinges.
Another thing... the neighbors that moved out... they were a bunch of rednecks. They would sit in their garage and face our house, as if there was of any interest. Nothing like a past neighbor who lived a block behind us. We called him the drug lord. Odd things going on in front of his house. Midnight ambulance, and one morning some guy was tossing ornamental rocks from our beloved mail box posts, at the top floor bedroom window. We expected him to break the glass, but he didn't. It took about 10 tosses to get the guy out of bed. Ha! We use our second bedroom as a TV room, which you cannot miss the neighbor's house a block behind us.
Back to the rednecks... one night a storm happened, which had high winds blowing over our house, and being facing us, our house was a wind break. So they were happIy sitting in the garage while lightning and rain was blowing away, launching rockets directly over our house. Exploding over our house. At first I thought it was the storm, but after 4 of them things I got a clue.These were them expensive rockets so the power in them could do some damage, on our newly replaced roof. I was going to give him a telling, but by the time I got dressed for going out side, they launched their remaining rockets. The midwest, loves fireworks. In fact on the border of Indiana has the world's largest firework warehouse, open all year around. So lucky us they spent their life savings on their up in smoke fireworks, as that was pretty much it after that.
Well now that we are well settled in, no other evil instances have a plagued us... but you'll never know.
Topic: Random bits and what nots (Read 11443 times)
