My mom passed away yesterday

[HOF]

So sorry to hear this, Kev. I rarely check this part of the forum but just saw this. My deepest condolences.

[nick_z]

Same here...just saw this, and I can only offer my deepest condolences to you...

[Nick]

Sorry for your loss Kev, it's going to be a tough road ahead, but I hope you are able to navigate it well.

[Herrick]

Herrick is sorry to hear of this. It hits very close to home as my mother died last December.

And I'm sorry to hear about Stadler's mother's condition as well. My mother wasn't officially diagnosed but they said she was in the early stages of dementia. Not the same thing as Alzheimer's but still...very difficult for family members to go through.

[Hyperplex]

Very sorry, Kev. I hope her memory and your family and friends give you strength.

[vtgrad]

vtgrad, I love it. Apologies for bringing up something so morbid as Pet Sematary, but when my cat died I paraphrased Jud when I talked to my daughter about it, as it was her first real experience with death (coincidentally, similarly to the impetus to King writing the story). Death is when the pain stops and when the good memories begin.

That quote from King, which occurred to me a few months after I received that advice, actually gives me a warm feeling inside (I'm a huge King fan).  I think the "time heals all wounds" quote is just a bit off in it's execution, apologies to whomever coined it... perhaps the quote should be "time gives us fond memories, and fond memories cleanse our wounds".  A cleansed wound that is deep will likely leave a scar, and it's our scars that give us our character. 

Kev, the music idea was likely a very good one.  To this day, when I hear/play Hourglass or State of Grace, I tear-up a bit.  Blasted those two songs on the way to the fishing spot I was talking about.  Good call on your part...

I was thinking the other day about this thread, and about how we relate to each other (human to human; not specifically DTF).  On it's face, if a reader isn't looking deeply at what we're saying to each other here, that reader may think that by sharing our own experiences with Kev we're making the thread about us (posters in the thread) instead of about Kev.  That interpretation couldn't be further from the truth I think.  We communicate to each other through experiences and speech... and by speaking to Kev about our experiences, we help to relate to each other and to bear each other's burdens.  That what I see us all doing here... helping Kev bear this burden by sharing our own experiences.  Just wanted to share that...

[KevShmev]

Nope, all good.  Commiserate away! 

And I get that we horse around a lot here, but I feel that a thread like this ought to be joke-free.  I had a much more strongly worded post in that regard about it yesterday (that I later edited), but this feels like a "read the room" type thread.  It's not the time or place for jokes.

[KevShmev]

Update:

Mom's visitation was yesterday, funeral is Tuesday.  I don't know how people get through this when a parent goes way too young.  As crushing as this has been, I am taking solace in the fact that my mom was 74 and did everything she wanted to do and went with having no regrets.  Many lose a parent without them being so lucky.  I cannot imagine. 

[King Postwhore]

Update:

Mom's visitation was yesterday, funeral is Tuesday.  I don't know how people get through this when a parent goes way too young.  As crushing as this has been, I am taking solace in the fact that my mom was 74 and did everything she wanted to do and went with having no regrets.  Many lose a parent without them being so lucky.  I cannot imagine. 

My mom passed away at age 64.  8 months after retiring.  It bugs me to this day that she couldn't enjoy all she worked for.

[KevShmev]

Update:

Mom's visitation was yesterday, funeral is Tuesday.  I don't know how people get through this when a parent goes way too young.  As crushing as this has been, I am taking solace in the fact that my mom was 74 and did everything she wanted to do and went with having no regrets.  Many lose a parent without them being so lucky.  I cannot imagine. 

My mom passed away at age 64.  8 months after retiring.  It bugs me to this day that she couldn't enjoy all she worked for.

 

[geeeemo]

Oh, I am very sorry. My dad died at 62. So hard. It will get better. Hugs

[vtgrad]

Update:

Mom's visitation was yesterday, funeral is Tuesday.  I don't know how people get through this when a parent goes way too young.  As crushing as this has been, I am taking solace in the fact that my mom was 74 and did everything she wanted to do and went with having no regrets.  Many lose a parent without them being so lucky.  I cannot imagine. 

Visitation was the toughest part for my family for Dad's passing... he'd touched many, many lives and the stories that we heard (many of which we didn't know) made the pain a bit sharper for those hours.  The Funeral, in all honesty, was a burden lifted in a sense.  Testimonies given and songs sung praising God for the life that was given to my father and for the Salvation found in Christ.  My dad was 23 days from his 75th birthday when he passed... that is a good life span... based on my own experience, I think you're approaching it with the right thoughts Kev.

Help your family as much as you can with the burden of this loss and you will see your own burden made lighter as well.  I'm sure you are already seeing that truth...

[KevShmev]

Honestly, this still doesn't seem real.  But it is. 

As difficult as the visitation Saturday and funeral today both were, being surrounded by our large family and having that massive support helped make both a little less awful. 

I didn't think I'd have free time this evening, but Dad just wanted to go home and sleep.  I can't say I blame him.  He had been up since 2 am in anticipation of today. 

[TAC]

I feel bad for him.

[King Postwhore]

Honestly, this still doesn't seem real.  But it is. 

As difficult as the visitation Saturday and funeral today both were, being surrounded by our large family and having that massive support helped make both a little less awful. 

I didn't think I'd have free time this evening, but Dad just wanted to go home and sleep.  I can't say I blame him.  He had been up since 2 am in anticipation of today. 

I remember this feeling as well. It doesn't get easier Kev. Be there for your Dad.

[Stadler]

I'm two days late, but these last couple posts are impactful.  My heart is with you and your family, Kev.

[KevShmev]

Thanks (again!) for the sentiment, everyone.  It is very much appreciated. 

[KevShmev]

I remember this feeling as well. It doesn't get easier Kev. Be there for your Dad.

Over three months later, this is so damn true. 

Not trying to bump this to throw myself a pity party, but I think we are all still really struggling more days than not, especially my dad.  A lady friend at work asked me the other day how my dad and I and everyone was doing and I was honest and said, "I'd love to say we are all doing okay, but we really aren't."  I try to find myself as many distractions as possible, from listening and talking music (like here, for example) to hanging with friends when I can, but it just feels like a piece of me has been ripped away that I will never get back.  I would never quit my job on a whim, but I swear there are days at work where I am so tired and mentally beaten that I just want to quit right there on the spot and go home and sleep for like two years. 

[King Puppies and the Acid Guppies]

I remember this feeling as well. It doesn't get easier Kev. Be there for your Dad.

Over three months later, this is so damn true. 

Not trying to bump this to throw myself a pity party, but I think we are all still really struggling more days than not, especially my dad.  A lady friend at work asked me the other day how my dad and I and everyone was doing and I was honest and said, "I'd love to say we are all doing okay, but we really aren't."  I try to find myself as many distractions as possible, from listening and talking music (like here, for example) to hanging with friends when I can, but it just feels like a piece of me has been ripped away that I will never get back.  I would never quit my job on a whim, but I swear there are days at work where I am so tired and mentally beaten that I just want to quit right there on the spot and go home and sleep for like two years. 

I know these feelings all too well. I know it's isn't quite the same, but when my grandfather passed away 9 years ago I felt terrible for a long time. Still feel it, especially when I visit with my grandmother. I find it can help to talk about good memories with loved ones. It doesn't make the pain go away, but I find it helps.

At any rate, my heart goes out to you and your family. Hang in there.

[KevShmev]

 
I know these feelings all too well. I know it's isn't quite the same, but when my grandfather passed away 9 years ago I felt terrible for a long time. Still feel it, especially when I visit with my grandmother. I find it can help to talk about good memories with loved ones. It doesn't make the pain go away, but I find it helps.

At any rate, my heart goes out to you and your family. Hang in there.

Thanks, man, I appreciate it.

[TAC]

Kev, so sorry this is hitting you so hard. I still feel the same about my grandmother. In fact, the last time I saw her, we put her on a plane at the same gate we flew out of on Friday. I was feeling it big time.

[KevShmev]

I feel ya.  I know I get crabby at times in various threads (see: the hockey thread), and not making excuses, but my mood tends to really swing lately, and I am not someone who has ever been prone to mood swings.  Ugh.

[TAC]

Not for nothing, but you (and Gary) have always been crabby in the hockey thread. I'm not cutting you any excuse there.

[Glasser]

Kev, So very sorry I'm just seeing this and my heart is with you. Its an unexplainable feeling unless you've been there. Sending strength and healing vibes your way.    :'(

[KevShmev]

Kev, So very sorry I'm just seeing this and my heart is with you. Its an unexplainable feeling unless you've been there. Sending strength and healing vibes your way.    :'(

Appreciate that, sir.

[SeRoX]

Kev, I just saw the thread. Sorry for your loss. That hit me hard too and I can understand what you feel because I lost my dad at 2017 almost for same reasons, plus he had serious diabetes that prevented him healing.

No matter what life goes on for us. All I can do is remembering good days with him and be there for my family.

[KevShmev]

Kev, I just saw the thread. Sorry for your loss. That hit me hard too and I can understand what you feel because I lost my dad at 2017 almost for same reasons, plus he had serious diabetes that prevented him healing.

No matter what life goes on for us. All I can do is remembering good days with him and be there for my family.

Thanks, much appreciated.

[Glasser]

What Kev is going through is awful as I am too. My mom was the one that was always listening to music when I was a kid. I remember her dancing listening to specific albums like Alan Parsons turn of a friendly card, Lennon and Yoko Double Fantasy, and the Doors. The last time I was with her before she passed on Mother's Day I sat and played her a bunch of these songs in the hospital but she just stared through me while they were playing. I still wonder if she was able to recognize them. She passed from diabetes complications and her mind was vacant in her last days. Losing a parent leaves such an awful void, she would have been 72 a week after she passed. Kev, I know how you're feeling and my heart is with you.

[TAC]

Tom, that's awful, and I'm sorry to hear that. That's heartbreaking.

When my brother in law passed last summer, we made sure to play some Creedence, as he talked about them all of the time.

[Glasser]

Tom, that's awful, and I'm sorry to hear that. That's heartbreaking.

When my brother in law passed last summer, we made sure to play some Creedence, as he talked about them all of the time.

Thanks Tim, it’s hard, real hard. I’m very sorry to hear about your brother in law, that’s absolutely awful. I’m not high jacking this thread Kev, I’m just relating to you my friend. 

[KevShmev]

No worries at all.  That is a crushing story and you have my condolences as well.  2022 is just the worst.  I just wish we could restart this entire year. 

[wolfking]

What Kev is going through is awful as I am too. My mom was the one that was always listening to music when I was a kid. I remember her dancing listening to specific albums like Alan Parsons turn of a friendly card, Lennon and Yoko Double Fantasy, and the Doors. The last time I was with her before she passed on Mother's Day I sat and played her a bunch of these songs in the hospital but she just stared through me while they were playing. I still wonder if she was able to recognize them. She passed from diabetes complications and her mind was vacant in her last days. Losing a parent leaves such an awful void, she would have been 72 a week after she passed. Kev, I know how you're feeling and my heart is with you.

Jesus Tom, that's a touching heartbreaking story.

[DoctorAction]

I don't often look in this section. I lost my mum 7 years ago. I don't know much about much, truth be told, but wishing you both peace and strength.