Things I find a tad exasperating v.3

[pg1067]

What kind of fucking asshole throws a paper towel into a urinal??

Perhaps he works on my floor at my office.  The toilets on my floor have automatic flushers, but one of them has been broken for a few weeks.  There is, however, a manual flush button.  On 2 or 3 occasions, I have walked in and found an unflushed toilet, including an ass gasket.  I really want to leave a nasty note for the asshole who apparently is too good for the manual flush button and thinks the next person should deal with it.

[lordxizor]

The term "friendsgiving". It's not "familygiving". You don't need a special term to show that you spend Thanksgiving with friends and not family.

[hefdaddy42]

The term "friendsgiving". It's not "familygiving". You don't need a special term to show that you spend Thanksgiving with friends and not family.

I agree with this.  They tried this at work and I put a stop to that shit real quick.

[Jamesman42]

Coworkers: Hey guys let's all get together for friendsg-

HEFGOD42: No.

[hefdaddy42]

Coworkers: Hey guys let's all get together for friendsg-

HEFGOD42: No.

Nah, they're doing it, I just put a stop to calling it "friendsgiving."  We are just calling it our department Thanksgiving celebration.

[Stadler]

The term "friendsgiving". It's not "familygiving". You don't need a special term to show that you spend Thanksgiving with friends and not family.

And you guys wonder why I keep saying America suffers from chronic insecurity.  We HAVE to be validated, justified, even to the extreme. It's like a basic need up there with oxygen, food, and Kiss. 

[lordxizor]

The term "friendsgiving". It's not "familygiving". You don't need a special term to show that you spend Thanksgiving with friends and not family.

And you guys wonder why I keep saying America suffers from chronic insecurity.  We HAVE to be validated, justified, even to the extreme. It's like a basic need up there with oxygen, food, and Kiss. 

I've never wondered why you keep saying that. I totally agree (except for Kiss).

[TAC]

Huh..

My son was getting together with friends when he got back to school yesterday, and said they were having a Friendsgiving. I wouldn't call my son a pussy or anything. I never gave it a thought. It's just a term kids are using these days.

It's a tad icky I guess, but I don't understand the "insecure" comment.

[Chino]

Maybe it's the millennial in me, but I'm fine with Friendsgiving. I'd go so far as to say I encourage it in this world where people are finding more and more reasons to severe in-person relationships. I heard the term yesterday at work and it was in fine context.

Co-worker: What are you doing for the holiday?
Me: V and I are hosting both our families. What about you?
Co-worker: Josh and I are doing a friendsgiving at our place on Wednesday, and I'm heading to my mom's on Thursday.   

I know exactly what that is, and it makes more sense than "Josh and I are hosting a thanksgiving dinner with a bunch our friends with lots of booze and no children running around. The following day we're going to a regular thanksgiving at my mom's.

I'd argue that it's more than "familygiving" with friends instead. They're two completely different events.

One is a party amongst friends and celebrating being able to leverage the holiday to get everyone together. Something that's hard to do once everyone starts procreating and moving around. It's less formal, will be nothing but laughs and the reminiscing of old times, and there won't be any family drama and bullshit to deal with. There are no pressures or obligations for a friendsgiving. It's great. 

For a lot of families, the other is a chore and a headache.

[wolfking]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

[TAC]

I feel like kids these days...my son is 20..when I was a kid, I had a girlfriend. At my high school, there were always couples holding hands or making out in the back staircase, that sort of thing. When my kids were in high school, I never really saw boyfriends and girlfriends. They all seem a lot less interested in that then when I was young.
But they're all friends with girls. I know the friendsgiving thing he was going to was at a girls' suite that they're friends with.

[Ben_Jamin]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

[wolfking]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

That seems pretty plausible mate.

[Podaar]

My youngest son’s birthday is November 20th. Every so often the only day we can all get together for the Fall Feast is on his birthday, so we call that Jakesgiving (his name is Jake, of course). If that makes us wrong… I don’t really care, I suppose. 

[wolfking]

My youngest son’s birthday is November 20th. Every so often the only day we can all get together for the Fall Feast is on his birthday, so we call that Jakesgiving (his name is Jake, of course). If that makes us wrong… I don’t really care, I suppose. 

I knew you had a soft side in there Gregg.

[Podaar]

Yes I do, but it’s developing a nice crust.

[King Postwhore]

Gregg, your new nickname is French Bread.

[Podaar]

 

Thanks, Baguette!

[Stadler]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels?  Why the need to explain it or justify it or legitimize it to anyone else?  The holiday is Thanksgiving.  You're either having a party with friends or you're celebrating the holiday, be it with family, friends, or some combination thereof.  What's the need to label everything? To me - and no, I'm not sitting in a rocking chair shaking my fist at the kids these days, it's just an observation meant to inspire thought - its a sign of having to justify and virtue signal how important your day/events are.  Give it a special name "for you" when it already has a name that works.

My family has been upside down (that is, non-traditional) with Thanksgiving for over a decade now.  It will be different this year for a multitude of reasons, but for the past, say, 15 years, the night before I go to a local Chinese restaurant and buy about four bags of food.  Thursday morning I go meet my college buddies at the Manchester Road Race and we drink Bloody Mary's from about 7:30 to about noon.  I come home and my wife and I sit on the couch, watch TV, football, whatever, and eat the Chinese food from the night before (with my youngest step son).  Usually Friday or Saturday we make a turkey with some fixin's, and whoever wants to come by can come by.  Sometimes if there is a Uconn Basketball game I meet up again and we watch the game, drink a couple beers and I watch my friends kill themselves ever so slowly with cigars.   I don't need to label it. It's us.  We're good with it.  I don't need to call it "Stadler-giving" to give it legitimacy. It has legitimacy because I'm there with my loved ones.   And I am exceedingly thankful.

The funny thing?  This was all because of "divorce"; my ex, my wife's ex, and now my oldest stepson's ex, they ALL do the fancy schmancy Thursday Thanksgiving......... and everyone that has to go back and forth hates it.  All my kids/grandkids want to be at my house, every one says "save me some of that Chinese food" and they all look forward to the informal Friday/Saturday turkey.   This year will be slightly different, because my father-in-law isn't well and lives alone, so he will come over Thursday and will likely stay over for at least one night, so we'll do something a little more inclusive, but it will still be "us".  And it will still be "Thanksgiving", not any of these new-fangled names to try to make it more than it is.

[King Postwhore]

 

Thanks, Baguette!

I do have a little frog in me.  LOL

[Chino]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels? 

*snip*

Isn't that just what people do? We could just say "higher-ed", but we make it a point to have "trade school", "college", "state school", "law school", "community college", etc.. All carry a bit more specificity than the other, and carry a bunch of additional context. We gather more information with less. Most here seem to know what "friendsgiving" is, and acknowledge it's a completely separate thing from the traditional Thanksgiving celebration. It's a more positive version of Festivus for a different holiday. 

I don't think anyone is looking to get a special label or anything. It's its own thing. 

Maybe if some of you old timers had them in your twenties, you'd see them differently 




 

[hefdaddy42]

Maybe if some of you old timers had them in your twenties, you'd see them differently 

I mean, I did.  But we just called it a Thanksgiving get-together.

If we had a Christmas party with friends (and we did), or a Halloween party (and we did), it never would have occurred to us to call them friendsmas or friendsoween.

I don't care THAT much, I'm not dying on this hill.  I'm just saying.  In my view, Thanksgiving is already specific enough a descriptor.  But hey, any of you do whatever you want, it's no skin off my nose.  I celebrate and give thanks for all of you.

[lordxizor]

Most here seem to know what "friendsgiving" is, and acknowledge it's a completely separate thing from the traditional Thanksgiving celebration.

Is it though? It's just a Thanksgiving celebration with friends instead of family. I celebrate Thanksgiving multiple times every year with different groups of people. Some years friends are included. I don't feel the need to differentiate. It's all Thanksgiving.

Maybe if some of you old timers had them in your twenties, you'd see them differently 

I mean, I did.  But we just called it a Thanksgiving get-together.

If we had a Christmas party with friends (and we did), or a Halloween party (and we did), it never would have occurred to us to call them friendsmas or friendsoween.

I don't care THAT much, I'm not dying on this hill.  I'm just saying.  In my view, Thanksgiving is already specific enough a descriptor.  But hey, any of you do whatever you want, it's no skin off my nose.  I celebrate and give thanks for all of you.

I agree with everything Hef said here.

To me there's no need to make the distinction unless a person is trying to declare "I'm better/different/special". That's what rubs me the wrong way. Like Hef, not a hill I'll die on, you do you. But you'll always get a silent eye roll from me if you call it friendsgiving. 

[Stadler]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels? 

*snip*

Isn't that just what people do? We could just say "higher-ed", but we make it a point to have "trade school", "college", "state school", "law school", "community college", etc.. All carry a bit more specificity than the other, and carry a bunch of additional context. We gather more information with less. Most here seem to know what "friendsgiving" is, and acknowledge it's a completely separate thing from the traditional Thanksgiving celebration. It's a more positive version of Festivus for a different holiday. 

I don't think anyone is looking to get a special label or anything. It's its own thing. 

Maybe if some of you old timers had them in your twenties, you'd see them differently 




 

Well, you're kind of making my point: it IS what we do... now, because we're becoming overwhelmed with this insecurity, and it's permeating everything, primarily caused by social media.    I DO have 20-somethings; my daughter is exactly 23, my other daughter is 25 and my step son is, well, he's 30 now. 

if you're doing it because it's the T-giving weekend, it's THANKSGIVING. If you would have done it anyway if it was May 12th, then it's just a party.  Everything else is sort of superfluous, doesn't help me any more to understand what you're doing - which, by the way, is none of my damn business to start with - and gives a false sense of... importance or gravitas in a way that's not really benefitting anyone but the insecure person looking for the validation because... who knows why?  I think Lordxizor has this right; there's an element of virtue signaling here that we can avoid.   


(I'm overstating this a bit to make the point, I hope that's clear; I actually parked in the Hef camp: you do you, whatever works for you and yours; this is more observational than anything else.)

[Chino]

What are your guys' thoughts on the phrase "Trunk or Treat"?

[Indiscipline]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels?  Why the need to explain it or justify it or legitimize it to anyone else?  The holiday is Thanksgiving.  You're either having a party with friends or you're celebrating the holiday, be it with family, friends, or some combination thereof.  What's the need to label everything? To me - and no, I'm not sitting in a rocking chair shaking my fist at the kids these days, it's just an observation meant to inspire thought - its a sign of having to justify and virtue signal how important your day/events are.  Give it a special name "for you" when it already has a name that works.

My family has been upside down (that is, non-traditional) with Thanksgiving for over a decade now.  It will be different this year for a multitude of reasons, but for the past, say, 15 years, the night before I go to a local Chinese restaurant and buy about four bags of food.  Thursday morning I go meet my college buddies at the Manchester Road Race and we drink Bloody Mary's from about 7:30 to about noon.  I come home and my wife and I sit on the couch, watch TV, football, whatever, and eat the Chinese food from the night before (with my youngest step son).  Usually Friday or Saturday we make a turkey with some fixin's, and whoever wants to come by can come by.  Sometimes if there is a Uconn Basketball game I meet up again and we watch the game, drink a couple beers and I watch my friends kill themselves ever so slowly with cigars.   I don't need to label it. It's us.  We're good with it.  I don't need to call it "Stadler-giving" to give it legitimacy. It has legitimacy because I'm there with my loved ones.   And I am exceedingly thankful.

The funny thing?  This was all because of "divorce"; my ex, my wife's ex, and now my oldest stepson's ex, they ALL do the fancy schmancy Thursday Thanksgiving......... and everyone that has to go back and forth hates it.  All my kids/grandkids want to be at my house, every one says "save me some of that Chinese food" and they all look forward to the informal Friday/Saturday turkey.   This year will be slightly different, because my father-in-law isn't well and lives alone, so he will come over Thursday and will likely stay over for at least one night, so we'll do something a little more inclusive, but it will still be "us".  And it will still be "Thanksgiving", not any of these new-fangled names to try to make it more than it is.

Very interesting observations. I clearly have no stakes in the Thanksgiving / Friendsgiving game, but what is piquing my curiosity is the need to compress concepts into catchy brand-like words as such. If there is some sort of insecurity to be spotted, it could be - in the age of x characters or less - a strange fear that complex communication (something to explain and spend a minute to clarify) isn't loud or strong enough to penetrate our neighbour's attention unless microwaved into self-explicative headlines. Like we need to clickbait each other in order to be understood.

Just thoughts, no judgement. Language is freedom and to each their own.

[Stadler]

What are your guys' thoughts on the phrase "Trunk or Treat"?

Hang on...  <Googles>

If I was a kid, I'd be like "Lame-o".  If I'm a parent, and can have a cooler in the back seat?  I'm like "Bring it on. I can be home in time for the game."

Which means, I probably don't like it.  Let kids be kids. 

[lordxizor]

What are your guys' thoughts on the phrase "Trunk or Treat"?

Hang on...  <Googles>

If I was a kid, I'd be like "Lame-o".  If I'm a parent, and can have a cooler in the back seat?  I'm like "Bring it on. I can be home in time for the game."

Which means, I probably don't like it.  Let kids be kids. 

We love Trunk or Treats. The kids and my wife and I. Way more candy per distance walked. Everyone is in a good mood. Lots of cute kid costumes and creatively decorated trunks to comment on. They are most commonly done in church parking lots, so the drinking thing is probably not encouraged. We usually hit up one or two before Halloween.

The phrase itself is kind of dumb, but the concept is fun, IMO.

[Jamesman42]

Our church does a trunk or treat - it's the best.

[hefdaddy42]

What are your guys' thoughts on the phrase "Trunk or Treat"?

It's accurate.

[Chino]

[Serious] Why not just call it trick or treating though? The only difference is where the kids are doing it. They're still putting on costumes because it's Halloween, and they're still walking around to get free candy. The only difference is it's in a parking lot instead of neighborhoods. I'm failing to see the difference between that and a term like "friendsgiving".

 

[TAC]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels?  Why the need to explain it or justify it or legitimize it to anyone else?  The holiday is Thanksgiving.  You're either having a party with friends or you're celebrating the holiday, be it with family, friends, or some combination thereof.  What's the need to label everything? To me - and no, I'm not sitting in a rocking chair shaking my fist at the kids these days, it's just an observation meant to inspire thought - its a sign of having to justify and virtue signal how important your day/events are.  Give it a special name "for you" when it already has a name that works.

This is primarily for Stadler..

I guess I'm not understanding your hang up with this term. I cannot follow the breadcrumbs from friendsgiving to insecurity. I mean, you sound kind of insecure beating this drum. 

To me, sure, the term sounds kind of gay, but what's the genesis of it? Was it born on a psychologist's couch, or was it organically created by someone in the course of language evolution?

I had mentioned that my observation of kids my kids' ages is that there's a lot less boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios, and more of a group co-ed thing. If a group of them want to celebrate a mini thansksgiving and call it a friendsgiving, why would that give you pause, and reflexively point to your "Insecurity Thesis", which generally I agree with, but you seem to be trying to force this into it.

[hefdaddy42]

[Serious] Why not just call it trick or treating though? The only difference is where the kids are doing it. They're still putting on costumes because it's Halloween, and they're still walking around to get free candy. The only difference is it's in a parking lot instead of neighborhoods. I'm failing to see the difference between that and a term like "friendsgiving".

The difference is that the holiday isn't called Trick or Treating.  The holiday is Halloween.  Trick or treating is a Halloween activity, that's all.

Also, trick or treating means specifically going to different people's homes.  That isn't what happens at a trunk or treat.  You go to one place, usually a church or school parking lot, and you go around to different people's car trunks.  Which is why I said the phrase is accurate.

[lordxizor]

If they tried to call it Trunkoween, I would be as opposed to it as Friendsgiving.

[Stadler]

Being Aussie, I don't really know much about Thanksgiving anyway, but I wonder where the Friendsgiving thing came from?  Maybe it was from a kid with a poor fractured family life but has a couple close friends he deems as 'family.'  I dunno.  I think knowing the Origin of the term may put it in better context?  Just sounds like something someone really young came up with and somehow it caught on. 

The Familygiving thing, I don't really get at all.

That's part of it. Those who consider their group of friends as a family is how I would define Friendsgiving. A lot of college students do this that are not able to attend their familial Thanksgiving get togethers. So it's not just those that feel neglected or shunned by their family, but alao those that for some reason just aren't able to attend the familial Thanksgiving get togethers.

I don't have an issue with terming it 'Friendsgiving' as I see it as a shortened way to explain how you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving. Although what is the meaning of Thanksgiving?

This is primarily for TAC, but this is the issue, and where the "insecurity" comes in.   Why the fancy labels?  Why the need to explain it or justify it or legitimize it to anyone else?  The holiday is Thanksgiving.  You're either having a party with friends or you're celebrating the holiday, be it with family, friends, or some combination thereof.  What's the need to label everything? To me - and no, I'm not sitting in a rocking chair shaking my fist at the kids these days, it's just an observation meant to inspire thought - its a sign of having to justify and virtue signal how important your day/events are.  Give it a special name "for you" when it already has a name that works.

This is primarily for Stadler..

I guess I'm not understanding your hang up with this term. I cannot follow the breadcrumbs from friendsgiving to insecurity. I mean, you sound kind of insecure beating this drum. 

To me, sure, the term sounds kind of gay, but what's the genesis of it? Was it born on a psychologist's couch, or was it organically created by someone in the course of language evolution?

I had mentioned that my observation of kids my kids' ages is that there's a lot less boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios, and more of a group co-ed thing. If a group of them want to celebrate a mini thansksgiving and call it a friendsgiving, why would that give you pause, and reflexively point to your "Insecurity Thesis", which generally I agree with, but you seem to be trying to force this into it.

Well, I don't know about "forcing"; you're looking at it as an isolated thing, with one aspect that makes sense.  I'm looking at it as a more holistic thing, where we - people - NEED, almost obsessively, labels to validate what is our little existence in the world.  it's not enough to be a partial part of something bigger; we seem to have this obsession with being a whole part of something small.  I do get it; but whereas in the past it seemed like we spent time searching for that niche where we fit - some of us found it, some of us didn't, and to varying degrees - now we're desperate to cut right to the chase and make that little island hell or high water where we can say it's "ours" even if it's semantics.